Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. But I have Edo-kun tied up in my room…


Riza walked into Roy's office and dropped a memo on his desk.

"Not more paperwork" Roy sighed

Riza smiled. "I think you'll like this paperwork"

Roy picked the memo up out of sheer morbid curiosity over what sort of paperwork she thought he might possibly like.

He was shocked to see it was permission to return to his old uniform. 'A week ago I would have been grateful to be allowed to return to my old uniform…'

Roy stood up abruptly. Riza stared at him. "Where are you going?"

"I need to speak to the Fuhrer"

Riza continued to stare at him as he walked out of the door, then shrugged and went off to find Havoc.


"Sir, I would like to continue wearing the skirt"

Ed stared at him in shock. "What!"

"I want to keep wearing the skirt. The padded top can go, though"

Ed continued to stare. "Why?"

Roy thought for a second. "Because it's comfortable and light and allows a breeze to blow around my –"

He was interrupted by Ed, who shouted "I don't want to know!" and ran away screaming, doing a fair impersonation of a man being driven crazy by his subordinates.

"And easier access!" Roy called after him, then went off to molest Al, smirking evilly.


Riza stalked through HQ, looking for Havoc. Everywhere she went there were whistles, followed by gunfire and screaming. Her path could be followed by the trail of incapacitated men. She silently vowed that she would make Roy pay for his stunt with the maid outfit.

Spotting Havoc, she grabbed him and dragged him out of the office for a bit of 'quality time'. Havoc, with a big goofy grin on his face, didn't protest. He'd finally found a girlfriend who was immune to Roy. And she looked amazing in a maid outfit.


Roy located Al and coaxed him to his office. Armstrong noticed this as he passed by, and his multitude of pink sparkles at least doubled.

Ed stalked past, trying not to let Al know he was stalking while at the same time making sure Roy knew it. He still didn't approve of Al's new boyfriend.

Suddenly, Winry tapped him on the shoulder with his own arm. Ed scowled at her, still grumpy about Roy and Al. Winry glared back. "Aren't you glad to see me?"

Her wrench appeared in her hand.

Ed scowled for a bit longer just to maintain appearances, then sighed. Winry looked worried. This wasn't like Ed. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Ed considered ignoring her, then realised she would find out sooner or later. "Roy got himself a new 'girlfriend'" he said grumpily.

Winry failed to notice the inverted commas clicking into place around the word, and shrugged. "So what. He's got a new girlfriend every week. Unless… are you jealous!" she asked in a disbelieving voice.

Ed scowled again. "Hell no!"

Winry frowned. "So what is the problem?"

Ed hesitated. "…It's Al"

"What? Al's jealous? That's not like him"

"No! He's…" Ed's voice cracked. "Al is… Roy's new 'girlfriend'"

Winry shrieked. "What!"

She stalked towards Roy's office, wrench at the ready, muttering furiously to herself about the possibilities of a castration operation using said wrench. Ed followed.

Winry slammed open the door. "COLONEL MUSTANG I SWEAR THAT IF YOU –" She stopped screaming and gulped.

Al was sitting on Roy's lap. Both men were dishevelled and their lips were slightly swollen. She had obviously interrupted a very hot make-out session. They stared at her, Al blushing slightly. Roy arched an eyebrow. "Yes?" he enquired.

Winry backed towards the door. "Oh. I-I'm sorry. Please excuse me"

Roy and Al returned to their kissing as the door slammed shut. They heard a furious scream and the sound of a wrench being smashed against a wall and some very unfortunate heads. Probably including Ed's.

They ignored the chaos outside, focusing instead on the small haven created by their locked lips.


Hughes watched them from above. He clasped his hands to his chest, giggled, and started imagining what the children would look like. Completely disregarding the fact that the lovers were both male.


It's finally done. –cries– My baby is all grown up!

This last chapter so nearly ended with the mushy part, but I didn't like that so I tacked the part with 'Guardian Hughes' on the end.

I'm considering writing a Roy/Al Mpreg sequal, but I'm really not sure if it will go ahead, as I currently have several other projects lined up.

I started this story with no real idea how it would turn out. I was just like, I'll try it and see what happens. All the plan I had when I started writing was 'Ed is Fuhrer and he makes Roy wear a miniskirt. He may or may not be allowed to return to his old uniform after a month…'

This story did things I would never have imagined back then. Stories have a will of their own. It makes writing them all the more interesting.