Chapter Two
There was no such thing as a permanent base with the Rebellion. They set up shop in a hopefully safe space. Erected buildings or modified whatever was there. Added shields, cannons, radar. Patrolled the area, established supply runs and routines. Then waited for word that Imperials forces had discovered their hideaway and were forced to start all over again. With any luck, they evacuated before the Empire arrived. The Rebels hopped from system to system, sometimes pausing aboard a flagship carrier like Freedom before landing somewhere new. Their lives were defined by setting up and tearing down like a troupe of actors on the move.
This suited Leia just fine. She needed to be in constant motion. Slowing down, giving herself too much time to think, meant grief and pain and guilt might overwhelm her. She worked as much and as often as she could. She took on the weight of the Rebellion, the needs of Alderannian refugees, on her small but sturdy shoulders. Alliance leadership often reminded her to take some time for herself, get some sleep, maybe accept furlough, but they also reaped the benefits of her devotion.
For many, especially immediately after Yavin, Leia was seen as her father's proxy. Even Mon Mothma asked, "What do you think Bail would say?" when faced with one dilemma or another. Some of this may have been out of politeness, deferring to her position and the severity of her loss. But they also knew Leia was one of Bail's closest confidents. Working in the Senate and as a spy for the Alliance, she was aware of, if not intricately involved in, most of her father's doings.
The one aspect of the Rebellion that Bail guarded, largely to protect everyone involved, was financing. He dealt with most of their private funding sources. Now that he was gone, they were scrambling to discover and re-establish those ties.
Leia took on the brunt of this role. Bail had contingency plan on contingency plan and she was able to reconnect with many and set up new channels. But there were others—files encrypted and entire accounts gone missing—that Leia had yet to identify.
For as many years as Leia was alive, her father maintained shell businesses, companies and hidden accounts. These accounts allowed funders to send money to the growing rebellion without detection. It was also a means to pay suppliers. It was an elaborate system that only Bail had a complete understanding of and others only knew about small portions. Now, there were several missing links in the chain.
While Bail knew he might meet an untimely end and needed to provide alternate and hidden paths to these sources, he didn't expect his entire planet to disappear and layers of information on accounts and donors to go with it.
Even when she wasn't on duty, Leia often sat in the command center or a meeting room with access to the holonet and reference files, searching through the few files Bail left behind. She was looking for clues. Account numbers. Contacts. Her father often wrote in his own code, something that Leia knew how to decipher, but there was little there and what was available didn't make sense. She was missing a piece—or many pieces—to the encryption puzzle. She needed the key.
It quite literally kept her up at night. She knew others saw her as too focused, as someone who didn't sleep and worked too hard, but there was always so much to do. The only time she had to work on the finance issue was when she was supposed to be asleep. It was a problem she should be able to solve. She knew her father best. She was his legacy. The Rebellion was their life's work. If she couldn't find the missing accounts, or find new sources, she was letting the Rebellion down. She was letting Bail down.
In the six months since the Battle of Yavin, Leia let herself be subsumed by the war till she had almost lost herself completely. At first, this was ideal. She didn't want to feel anything outside her work. It was the only light she could follow. She would have been lost for good if it wasn't for Luke and Han, pulling her attention away. They forced her to engage and acknowledge the world around her.
Of course, Han did it in the most annoying way possible like butting into her late-night work sessions. The first time he showed up, she was surprised and almost angry at the interruption.
"You look like you're in pain. Should I call a medic?" Han put his cup of kaffe on the table and sat down beside her.
Leia looked at him, utterly confused by this presence. "Why are you here?"
"I slipped past the velvet rope. I know a guy." His feet went up on another chair and he leaned back so far Leia thought he might topple. "Just landed and I'm still wired. Wandered around to see if anything was happening. Found you."
"Am I happening?"
"You'll do."
It was probably meant as an insult but she laughed.
Han, for his part, liked it when she rolled her eyes at him as he sat down. Never failed to make him smile and he always made a crack about her being glad to see him. It was a part of their routine. She worked and he distracted and harassed her. It was a bit of fun for those in-between runs and mission times. The part that surprised him was how easily they could sit in silence or have a nice, easy conservation. If he thought about it too much he got uncomfortable so if things got too quiet he'd throw in some lewd comment to get her going. Getting any response was good but he felt extra chuffed if he got a laugh. She didn't give those out too easily.
He understood that they worked in extremes. They fought, argued about almost anything, especially if they had any kind of audience. It was almost a competition to see who could get the last and best word in. There rarely seemed to be a definitive winner to the fights and one argument often rolled into the next. It could be incredibly irritating that she wouldn't give an inch sometimes but he liked that she stood her ground and always called him on his bullshit. Not that he'd admit to any bullshit.
For Leia, things felt different when she was with him. A little off kilter but not uncomfortable. Like she always had to be on her toes. It wasn't like with Luke, where they could almost finish each other's sentences. She and Luke might argue but it was gentle sparring. With Han, she never knew what might come out of his mouth. It might be rude and preposterous or clever and on the nose. She might want to slug him or give a full-throated laugh. Occasionally, he said something thoughtful and almost sweet but that was rare. That was more Luke's territory.
Luke and Leia were both early risers—the result of being raised on a farm and being a work-obsessive respectively. Even though Luke knew little about the Force and being a Jedi, he understood physical exertion could help calm the mind, focus thoughts. Well, it was beneficial until it broke a body down.
"Uncle Own was stoic so didn't say much but you knew he was in pain." Luke had one of his rare sombre, reflective moments. "You could see it in how he moved. Even standing up from a chair sometimes."
Luke thought about his uncle who spent a lifetime leaning over vaporators and suffered the pains of an over-used and over-extended body. He missed him, and Aunt Beru, and it was hard to believe all that had happened in the six months since they died.
Leia looked up from her datapad for a moment to focus on Luke. "That sounds like a hard life."
"He liked it, too. Or he was proud. He liked being a farmer. Working the sand."
She smiled and turned back to her work.
Luke leaned in, trying to get her to look at him again. "But my point was, you need to work your body, too."
She gave him the side-eye, wondering if he was going to give her a Han-style comment.
"Also, I could use a partner," he said. "Combat training is a lot better if you have someone to spar with."
"Have you done any combat training?"
"No." Luke laughed. "Another reason why I need you to help."
It had been a part of Leia's education. She took field and outdoor adventure courses that emphasized physical abilities. Her father also insisted on a combat tutor. Leia knew this wasn't the usual background for a princess but Bail Organa wasn't a usual father. He truly believed in developing mind, body and spirit. Alderaan was a peaceful and non-aggressive planet but he thought she should be prepared for any situation. It was only recently that Leia wondered if Bail had been preparing her for actual combat all along.
Leia realized that she had almost abandoned all physical activity since leaving Alderaan for the Senate and life as a spy and Rebel. She spent too much time in her head. Physical distraction, exertion would be good for her. Also, if she was going on missions, she needed to be just as strong as everyone else on her team. Leia never wanted to be the weakest link. Someone they thought needed care and coddling.
She and Luke started training together a few mornings a week and she had to admit it helped get her out of her head. And it was nice to have the time with Luke, even if she did need to be careful of his schoolboy crush. There was something about him, and definitely his crush, that felt a bit too young and innocent. They had a real and natural affection for each other but he was too admiring of her. Sometimes when he looked at her, she felt like he saw the princess in the tower. He looked lost in the fairy tale notion of slaying the dragon and winning her hand. It was one of the reasons that she eventually told him about Pyrtor. She needed him to refocus.
Leia had never felt like the princess in the tower. Lately, she hadn't felt much like a princess at all.
Sometimes, when Leia looked in the mirror, she didn't recognize herself. She looked different physically. Lost some of the baby fat on her cheeks. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair braided in a more utilitarian fashion. She still had scars from her torture on the Death Star and sometimes she wondered if the psychological scars were visible to anyone else. She knew there was still a light to her eyes but it was now fueled by revenge more than hope.
Her second meeting with Pyrtor was a few weeks away and she tried not to think about it too much. She felt a distance from him, the situation, whatever was expected of her. Leia knew she wasn't the same person who gave speeches in the Senate and attended galas for good causes but she also wasn't certain she was the same person who met him two months earlier.
Up until her time on the Death Star, her life was largely defined by others. She chose the path of Senator and Rebel, effectively leaving her princess world behind, even if it was only temporarily, but she stepped into those roles in her father's footsteps. Bail mentored her, trusted her and she knew what was expected of her. She was independent, determined, and free-thinking but she always had her father's guidance.
Now, she was suddenly faced with the opportunity to build a future for herself and that both excited and terrified her. Princesses, even politicians, didn't have free reign to choose a path. She knew she needed to forge a plan of action, decide how she best fit into the Rebellion and ensure she made the desired impact. She needed that push and focus to keep moving.
However, there was another part of her that wanted to lose herself completely, wait until this pain and grief subsided. Maybe she would wake up one day and once again be that woman who didn't understand unspeakable loss. When she met up with Pyrtor to ask for his help, she didn't feel like the person she once was but she was reminded that that person existed at one time. There was a before-destruction Leia who had parents and a home and hope. A woman who knew the galaxy could be dangerous and cruel but didn't understand the full reach of evil and hatred.
Luke and Han didn't know that Leia and they seemed to accept this in-process, rebuilding version without question. Well, Luke tended to be careful, overly concerned at times but Han didn't seem capable of holding back and refused to acknowledge anything that might be interpreted as a fragile state. He didn't seem to see her as shattered and in pieces.
Actually, that wasn't fair. Leia could see the concern in his eyes at times. He had a questioning look now and then, a quick confirmation that she was holding it together, but it was never pity. If he thought she was fragile, he never treated her that way.
"Han says you can't teach instinct so I got the hard part covered." Luke never sounded like he was bragging. Even when he was trying to keep up with the other pilots and trash-talking, he maintained his humble, I'm here to learn attitude.
"That man is all instinct." Leia shook her head. "And that instinct is going to get him killed some day. Let's hope he's nowhere near the Rebellion when that happens."
"He's got a lot of training. Knows all the military stuff. Even Rieekan was impressed."
"Where in blazes would Han Solo get military training?"
"The Academy. He was a cadet for don't know how long. Maybe a couple of years?"
Leia made a note to herself that she should review his background check amidst all her other research. She took the smuggler at face value—mainly because he liked to throw his attitude and outlook in her face—and she might benefit from further investigation.
They found a relatively secluded spot to train. She couldn't work out in the same space as everyone else. Leia wanted to be accepted among her military colleagues but she couldn't erase a lifetime removed from the general populace. She wasn't raised to believe she was better than anyone else but that she had a very different path.
Bail liked to remind her, "That distance is vital. We serve in our leadership and we lead by example."
For her father, that meant everything from charitable work to serving in the Galactic Senate to secretly starting a rebellion against the Empire. But his most common use of this phrase was to remind her how to comport herself in public. He had very conservative views on royalty and social mores.
For Leia, even though Bail and that entire world, Alderaan and the Senate, was gone and she existed in a world of turmoil and danger in the trenches, it was one of the things she could still cling to. She couldn't decide if she was desperately clinging to mores she actually believed in or if she desperately clinging to them because she didn't know how to act any other way.
She knew the first step in figuring out these essential questions, was to regain some of her old self. And for that, she was very grateful for Luke. He was helping her rebuild her strength. Sit-ups. Chin-ups. Push ups. Whatever they could do without the benefit of weights and standard equipment. He held her feet down while she did crunches and she tried not to admit how much she could feel the strain.
"I can't picture Han taking orders from anyone." Leia's breath was slightly ragged. "Especially an Imperial officer."
"Well, he was kicked out for some reason." Luke nodded, indicating she hit the desired number of crunches. He stood up and offered his hand but she refused with an eye roll. "He's not big on sharing."
"I've noticed."
Two pilots, still in their orange flight suits passed by their workout spot. They called out to Luke, gave him a half-salute and laughed but as soon as they saw Leia, they looked awkward, almost stricken. They looked like they had stumbled on to something other than a workout session and quickly retreated.
"I'm going to assume they're rushing back to the gossip mills." Leia tried to make it sound like a joke but there was a touch too much emotion.
Luke laughed. "Ah, they're easily distracted. They'll probably forget before they get to the mess hall."
Almost everyone on base liked a good gossip item but, the truth was, almost everyone was also frightened of Leia. They respected and admired her, trusted her judgement, would follow her into any battle but the idea of having a casual face-to-face conversation with Princess Leia was unfathomable. She was careful and reserved, almost stern, during any interaction. She didn't make jokes. She didn't laugh. She provided information in a clear and efficient manner. She listened to information like she was taking dictation in her head.
The only other person on base, other than Luke, Han and Chewie, who didn't see Leia as the Ice Princess was Wedge Antilles.
"I knew her when she was a kid—well, more of a kid then she is now—when she was first running missions." Wedge was a few years older than Luke and had been flying for the Rebellion for a few years already. He defected from the Academy and put his time in even before the Alliance was officially an alliance. "She was always tough, kind of no nonsense, but funny. She was fun. Not so princess like. Guess watching your planet explode in front of you does something to a person."
Leia considered Luke's appraisal of the pilots and wasn't so sure they would remain silent but decided to move on. "I should get going. The morning briefing starts soon enough."
"You know, if you're thinking about getting more up to speed on military stuff, you should talk to Han."
"How could that possibly help me?"
"He'll make a big show about not having the time or doing the of course you came to the best routine but I think he likes being asked and likes to help. He's actually pretty good at it."
Leia pulled her sweater on and checked that her braids were still in place. "I'll keep that in mind." She gave Luke a quick tap on the arm, a thanks and see you, before heading back to the barracks.
Luke watched her walk off, wishing he could help her see things from a less rigid viewpoint. He saw her as a generous and hopeful person when it came to beings in general but she had real barriers when it came to personal interactions. Luke didn't know if that was a product of living the rarified life of a princess or if it happened after Alderaan.
She seemed to have the most trouble with Han. They got along, for the most part, and Luke knew they liked each other, despite the grumbling. He didn't know anything about the Force until he met Ben but he had learned a lot in the past six months. Ben taught Luke a few meditation techniques and Luke was a lot more aware of the space and energy around him. He didn't know what any of it meant but he could recognize a difference in the energy between Han and Leia, connected but conflicted, and himself and Leia, connected and deep. Luke wondered what the energy between Leia and Pyrtor was like. He should ask Han if he'd noticed anything.
Luke could feel all four of them inching closer together. Their friendship happened quickly, forged in the madness that was the Death Star escape then eventual destruction, but they still had a few months of feeling each other out. Well, Luke wasn't cautious about it—he dove right in—happy to move away from his lonely years on Tatooine. Chewie proved himself to be loyal, a solid and comforting presence, from the get-go. But Han and Leia moved at their own pace and for their own reasons.
Han had taken on the big brother role for Luke, helping him navigate his new environment. The base was populated by career military types, Academy dropouts, idealistic recruits, disgraced politicians, beings working on all sides of the law, outright criminals, and drifters looking for credits and adventure. Luke was eager to please, fit in, and learn. Han helped him measure his enthusiasm against the brass' willingness to take advantage of the kid's talents. Luke was quickly the Rebel's number one hero. They were eager to exploit that and the fact that Luke seemed pretty keen on this Force business.
Luke's crush on Leia was another thing entirely. Han didn't mind hearing about it at first. It was funny to see the kid so dreamy and confused about women. Luke really had no idea what to do about a crush, how to approach a woman or what to do period. But after a while, and definitely after they knew about Pyrtor, it was annoying.
Han couldn't stand listening to one more over-analysis of what Leia said or did and what it all meant.
"Shit or get off the pot, kid. Make a move or shut the fuck up."
"But what if she says no?"
"Then she says no."
They were working on the Falcon, as they almost always were when they got into these conversations. Luke liked to help. He also realized pretty early on that Han talked, or listened, more if he had a barrier, like fixing sensor relays or organizing parts and tools, as added protection.
"But how would I face her again?"
Han shook his head. The kid was a genuine mystery. "Not that hard. Talk to her the way you normally do."
"What do you do? When you get turned down?"
"Dunno, kid. Almost never happens."
Luke rolled his eyes. "Please."
"True. I'm selective about making actual moves. Test a lot of waters. Dive in the right ones."
"You make everything sound rude."
Han shrugged. "Sometimes it is. Rude and amazing." He wiggled his eyebrows at Luke who rolled his eyes a second time. "You need to get your feet wet. That's your problem."
Han encouraged Luke to find someone on base. There were lots of interested parties. Wasn't hard to find someone into the hero of Yavin. The guy who blew up the Death Star. Luke was as close to a pop star as the Rebels had. But Luke was always stuck on the first move, either asking or receiving.
"You shouldn't push him into it. He's ready when he's ready." Leia didn't agree with Han's tactics or suggestions. Sometimes they acted like divorced parents fighting over the custody of a child.
"He's over thinking it. Doesn't have to be such a big deal. Sex is just sex." Han liked throwing these pronouncements Leia's way. He never knew how she would react and didn't really care. As long as he got some kind of rise out of her, he was happy.
"Not for everyone. Some of us prefer to attach emotion, commitment."
"That's called hang-ups, Sweetheart." He smiled to himself. He knew he was right. "He needs to have some fun. Get his rocks off. Enjoy himself. 'Specially cos there's a war on and who know what's gonna happen."
"Rocks?" Leia looked at him with feigned concern. "You know, Han, if your testicles are like rocks you should probably seek medical attention. That could be serious."
Eventually, Han concluded that Luke's crush was more of an excuse to avoid trying anything, trying anyone. The kid talked about people on base, focused on them in a way that Han suspected meant something more, but Luke's response was too often, "But Leia." So, Han found a solution. One that worked for Luke but infuriated Leia.
They were on mission, finished things up earlier than expected so Han made a detour to an establishment he knew.
"You took him to a brothel? Have you lost your mind?" Leia almost shouted. She expected a lot of outlandish things to come out of the smuggler's mouth but this hit new levels.
"Haven't lost my mind but Luke lost his…"
"Don't say it!" She covered her face, shaking her head in disbelief and frustration. "Is this some sick male bonding experience? Why would you think this would be good for Luke?"
"Didn't see where the kid ended up, or who with, but he looked happy when we left. So yeah, good for Luke."
Leia's head was back in her hands. "I am thinking about too many things right now."
"It was a safe joint. The women run it. No one's treated like shit unless that's what they paid for."
"You think you're so clever."
"I think Luke was hung up on you. Then he was hung up on being the one person who didn't know what to do. And now he does."
"Maybe Luke didn't need fixing."
"Maybe you didn't want to lose your most devoted fan."
Good idea or not, the plan did seem to break Luke out of his rut. Or, at least, Han assumed since the kid seemed to be less wide-eyed and starry about Leia and there were more sly smiles with the occasional fellow Rebel.
Luke also came by the Falcon less often, clearly having found another way to work off steam and pass the hours. It was enough of a difference in routine that even Chewie commented.
[I expected Skywalker to be more of a gossip.]
"Yeah, always a shame when they shut up as soon as they have a story to tell."
The most telling thing about the dynamic between Han, Luke and Leia is that Luke didn't actually do anything other than sit and talk with the woman for an hour but didn't want Han to know. And he made Leia promise not to reveal the truth.
"Luke, he's being so smug about it." She practically whined, or as close to whining as Leia got. "We can't let him get away with it."
"But it actually did help." Luke's crush on Leia had dimmed but wasn't extinguished. He simply had a different outlook on it. Realized it wasn't returned and he needed to, as Han so eloquently put it, get off the pot. "We had a great talk and she gave me a lot to think about."
"What did she say?"
"I can't reveal her professional secrets." Luke smiled. "There's some kind of code of ethics or something."
In truth, she gave Luke a long talking to and said if a woman said no or wasn't responding or made it clear she wasn't interested then she wasn't interested. He was being a dick, her exact words, if he couldn't let it go.
So, they both let Han think his credits were well spent but his arrogance didn't last long. He felt like he had all the answers until Luke started pointing out a few unnecessary details.
"All I'm saying is, Leia and I are getting around a lot more than you these days."
Han definitely didn't need Luke's commentary on what may or may not be happening. He pointed a finger at Luke. "I've already seen more action than either of you will get in a lifetime."
Luke smiled and shrugged. "Sometimes the truth hurts."
Han and Chewie watched Luke walk away from the Falcon, heading toward a group of pilots and techs. The kid had definitely come a long way from that sandlot of a planet. He was almost cocky and Han wasn't sure if he fully supported this part of the evolution.
Chewie chuckled and gave Han a tap, that was actually more of a shove, on his shoulder. [Skywalker might have a point.]
Han turned back to the worktable they had set up near the ship. There were fuses to fuse and circuits to circuit. He pulled a pair of goggles over his eyes and almost muttered to himself.
"Yeah, I really need to get off this base for a few days."
