Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. CBS does.
Author's Note: I initially posted this over at my livejournal. Just thought I'd share it here as well. All titles are from the song "Street Map" by Athlete.
"What's going on, Griss?" Sara got direct to the point. They were dining in at a nice restaurant a few blocks from the lab. She agreed to it, only to settle the situation between her and Grissom once and for all. "I mean… why are you asking me out all the time, all of a sudden?"
"I thought it was obvious, Sara." Grissom just looked back at her tenderly. "It's because now I know what to do about this."
Sara was silent for a while, remembering the incident years ago when she asked him out and he refused her, saying he didn't know what to do about this. "Griss… I don't think there's anymore of this." She motioned her hand between them. "Honestly, I'm not even sure if there ever was…"
"Don't say that," Grissom said, hurt apparent in his voice. He took a sip from his wine and studied her for a while before speaking up. "What changed, Sara?"
She thought for a moment. Their relationship has been a like a rollercoaster ride. Not much has happened, but it still left her with emotional baggage along the way. "For five years I've been thinking, maybe if I work harder or try harder, maybe someday I'd be good enough for you."
"You are…"
"Sssh. Let me finish." Sara reached over and squeezed his hand briefly. "You know what I realized these past few months, Griss?"
He sighed and hesitated a bit before asking. "What?"
"You're just not… good enough for me."
He looked away immediately as if it pained him too much to look at her. He swallowed hard and kept his gaze on his plate while he asked her, "Is there someone else?"
Sara smiled wistfully. "Fortunately there is, but even if there wasn't… I don't think we would've worked anyways."
"How can you know that, we haven't even tried."
"Griss, what do you think we've been doing all this time?" Sara said, a little exasperated. She drank some water to calm herself down.
They've been going back and forth for years now, and more often than not it was backwards. She told herself that he needed time… that his work was too important to risk. She actually willed herself to believe those things just to make excuses for him. After some time, she realized it wasn't going to go anywhere, ever. And that what was it exactly that made her go after him anyways? She was looking for assurance in the wrong places. She was looking for love in the wrong places, period. Finally, she figured out she would not have been happy with him anyways.
"I think I know you… us… well enough to say that we're not just right for each other."
Grissom was silent for a while taking it all in. Then he spoke up. "Who is it?"
ooo
Nick sat in his car parked outside Sara's apartment, absentmindedly drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. He called Warrick earlier, asking about the case and looking for Sara. Warrick replied that he overheard Sara and Grissom talk about dinner. He took it well during that moment, shrugging it off as probably some work matter. Then he got thinking, if it was about work then why wasn't Warrick with them? The more he thought about it, the more tensed he became. He does trust Sara, but she didn't exactly say anything when he professed his love for her. She kissed him, that's all. Actions do speak louder that words but he would like to have heard it anyways. Now he doubted just how much he did mean to her.
Nick jerked his head up when he heard a car approaching. Grissom's car stopped in front of the building and after a couple of seconds Sara got out of it. Nick waited until the car was out of sight before getting out of his car and walking towards the apartment. He took the stairs, to give time to calm his nerves a little. It didn't help much because by the time he stood in front of her door, his heart was still thumping madly against his chest. He knocked twice, and was greeted by a smiling Sara.
She pulled him in and gave him a hug. "Hey."
He pulled away almost immediately, watching her intently. "Can we talk?"
Sara looked confused but managed to smile. "Sure, what's up?" She led him towards the couch where they sat next to each other.
"Sara…" Nick took her hands and shifted so they were facing each other. "I'm not gonna deny your thing with Grissom. I know it's there, and I respect that. But I know he's not right for you… so you can go out with him all you want and see for yourself." He paused briefly and looked down on their hands. "…and I'd still be here, waiting. Cause I know that you're the one for me and I'm the one for you. You probably don't know it yet, or don't love me back just as much. I love you so much Sara that I'm willing to go in the sidelines for a while, just so in a way I could still be with you even if you're not…"
"Oh my God, Nick. Shut up."
Nick glanced up to and saw the amused expression on her face. "I'm sorry, it's just that I really wanted to get it out in the…" She put a finger on his lips shushing him.
"Ssshh…" She pulled on his neck and kissed him softly. "I love you."
Nick stared at her for a moment, thinking over what she just said. A smile began to form on his lips.
"I ended it with him, Nick." Her fingers started unbuttoning his shirt. "D'ya wanna hear about it?"
Just hearing those words made it clear to him. "Nah… I don't think you're in the mood to talk anyways." He grinned teasingly and pulled her on his lap. "We talk too much."
"I know! You started it though." Sara leaned in and started nibbling on his ear.
He smiled and tenderly stroked her hair. "I love you."
"See you talk too much." He felt her smile as she kissed his neck. "I love you too."
FIN
So this is the first fanfic I've ever written. I had so much fun writing it. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as well. :)
For the record, I really love Grissom. Just not with Sara lol.
And thanks so much to all who read and reviewed! It means a lot to me. :)
