Chapter Thirteen

The Falcon landed in its usual berth aboard the Freedom looking remarkably intact considering its past few weeks. They had been on near constant supply runs, gathering materials and delivering them to the new, still under-construction base on Hoth. Aside from the usual wear and tear that can occur, they had also met up with more than a few Imperial forces, one blockade, and a near pirate attack.

They were back with the Rebel fleet, in need of some repairs and for not near enough time before heading out to deliver more supplies and personnel to the ice-planet.

Han needed to see Leia. He knew she was okay. They'd communicated over comms a few times, they'd seen each other briefly during those times they were both aboard the Freedom, and he knew the fleet had a relatively peaceful time since he started the non-stop runs. But he missed her. Wanted to hear her voice.

He knew he wouldn't get much more. It's not like they'd had a heart-to-heart since the stake-out. They'd packed up shop shortly after getting the holos and they hadn't really had a moment alone since then. In fact, she had been pretty cool toward him. He figured she was trying to get her bearings, clear her head, after he'd pretty much laid it all on the table for her. He didn't come right out and say, I love you but it was hard to miss his point. And she responded as well as he could have hoped. Well, the best response would have been throwing herself into his arms then staying locked in that position but he knew she needed to get through a few steps first. Han was fine with that.

Because he also knew that she hadn't gone to see Pyrtor or even talked to him since the night at the cabin. He checked with Luke, too, to be sure. Leia hadn't even mentioned Pyrtor in weeks. Han decided this was reason enough to be optimistic. Maybe even reason enough to change things up.

"Solo! You're scheduled for takeoff tomorrow at 0700. Is the Falcon ready?"

Han glared at the supply officer as he walked past. "Just landed Gyzin. Give me some time to check the girl out."

He almost smiled to himself. I meant the Falcon. Honest.

"Time is one thing we don't have." Lt. Gyzin was young and very officious. He reminded Han of officers-in-training he knew at the Academy. People Han was always careful to avoid. "Let me know the state of your ship asap. We want everyone on planet within the next two weeks."

Forget optimistic. These Rebels were delusional.

He made his way to command center and walked straight to the raised platform in the middle. Leia was exactly where he guessed. She stood with other members of High Command and high-ranking military officials as they examined the tactical boards. Han stood opposite her, catching her eye.

Han wasn't enlisted and didn't have a rank but that didn't stop him from contributing to the discussion on what should happen next. No one questioned his right to be there anymore or dismissed his comments. Whether or not any of these Generals liked him personally, they recognized his talent for strategy and willingness to put himself and ship on the line. There were some eyerolling, from Leia in particular, but he was in the mix.

"We're still waiting on the convoy from Esom. They are a week overdue." General Dodonna changed screens on the tactical board. "Unfortunately, I fear it's too risky to send scouts looking for them. We can only hope they arrive here in time."

"If we're here much longer, we're going to need to consider a redistribution of supplies and resources among the ships. As it is, we'll be cutting it close." Rieekan held his hands behind his back and didn't look at his colleague. He was absorbed in the changes on the tactical board, his mind always several steps ahead.

"Chewie and I were hit by some pirates just outside the Anoat. They didn't have a lot of firepower and we got rid of them pretty easy but they seemed desperate. Not much for them to feed on out there."

"That's the idea, Captain." Leia raised an eyebrow at him. "We want a place where even the desperate can't be bothered going."

"Speaking of desperate…" Han indicated the group around them and she looked away, shaking her head and hiding a faint smile.

Yeah, maybe things are ready for a change up.

"Do you have the coordinates, Princess?" Madine turned to Leia. "Hopefully, we'll have moved on by the time you return."

"I have the encryption codes and I'll make contact for the new coordinates once we're back in orbit." She didn't look at Han and kept her voice quiet like she didn't want him to hear. Like he wasn't listening to her every word.

"Going somewhere, Princess?" He watched her look up and ignored her sigh.

"Yes, Captain. I am."

"We'll get the info to you, Solo." Madine picked up his datapad. "I'm assuming you haven't been updated since your return."

"Actually, General, Captain Solo won't be piloting me on this mission."

Everyone in the group turned to look at her. No one said anything but it was clearly a surprise.

"Commander Skywalker offered to be my pilot." She addressed Madine. She knew Han was glaring at her but refused to look his way.

"Did he? What's the mission you don't want me around for?"

Rieekan jumped in. Han couldn't tell if the General was trying to protect Leia or if he was actually trying to enforce a rule that Han never followed.

"It's a classified mission, Solo. If you're not involved then we can't provide that information."

They returned to their conversation on moving the fleet as Han waited it out. He watched her step away from the group. She tried ignoring him as she moved around the command center, checking in with techs and monitoring stations. He shadowed her, only a few feet back, hands on hips.

She spun around. "I'll give you five minutes but that's it."

"Fine." He started to say more but she held her hand up.

"Not here."

He followed her into a small meeting room off the command center. As soon as the door closed behind them he let loose.

"What's the mission, Leia? Any reason why you don't want me around?"

"We had to move quickly. You still weren't back and I had no idea when you might arrive so I asked Luke."

"You're making it sound like Chewie and me were off on a pleasure cruise. Like you don't have access to comms."

Leia lowered her eyes. She was well aware of the conflicts and near getaways they endured while getting supplies to the new base. He put himself in near constant danger for the Rebellion. She knew Han cared more about defeating the Empire than he let on and she also knew he was there for her. Because he believed in her.

"You were involved in important Alliance work and we all appreciate it."

"And took us longer out there cos we were making sure no Imps were on our tail. Didn't want to lead the Empire right to you. Or maybe that's what you're looking for in a guy."

She very quickly lost whatever sympathy or understanding she was feeling for him. Now he was just being an ass.

"What exactly do you mean by that, Captain?"

"Does Luke know?"

"Does Commander Skywalker know what, precisely?"

"Does he know Madine thinks Pyrtor is the leak?"

She took a deep, trying to calm herself breath. "He knows that concerns have been raised."

Everyone involved in the Rebellion willingly faced danger and she was grateful for everyone's involvement. But now there was a chance that some of that danger was caused directly by her. If Pyrtor was involved in the bombing, or in the detection of their base on Chomre, then those were more deaths on her shoulders. She needed answers. How could Han not understand?

Han paced the room. He ran his hands through his hair. "What's the plan here? How is Luke going to keep you safe?"

"I will keep myself safe. Luke will pilot me there and back."

"You don't know what you're walking into."

"We never do but we go in prepared and I've made it out every time so far."

"So far."

"I'm not in the mood for your histrionics today and I don't have to explain my actions or my assignments to you. I believe the supply officer is waiting to hear about the Falcon's condition so he can schedule you." She started toward the door. "I'll leave you to it."

"Why now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why are they sending you now? Madine got this intel months ago and they didn't act on it. So why send you now?"

She thought about walking out the door without responding. She thought about adding a fuck you before walking out. That was always a satisfying way to end these conversations. Instead, she steeled herself for the next round.

"We've analyzed the holo from the warehouse, of the man who returned several times, and we believe he's been identified."

"Let me guess. This guy has one red eye and leads a super-covert Imp spy ring."

Leia stood straight. She clasped her hands in front of her in a pose her father taught her. She took, and released, a deep breath. "This man has also been sighted going in and out of Thyre Industries and is, perhaps, an associate of Dynsara Thyre."

"Are you fu…" He ran his hands through his hair again then placed them on his hips. He was trying to calm down and not doing a good job of it. "I know you put the Rebellion first. I know you've gone into dangerous situations before and I know you can take care of yourself. But you had backup and weapons and maybe a disguise. You're walking into this alone. Maybe you've got your blaster and you're a good shot but doesn't mean shit if Stormtroopers arrive."

"Again, this isn't up for discussion." But, of course, she did discuss it because she didn't know when to quit. "I honestly don't think that's going to happen. And secondly, if it does, Luke and I will handle it. Thirdly, I won't be alone."

"Did you make contact with him? Did you arrange this meeting?"

"Yes."

Leia shifted on her feet. She kept her hard stare but there was a slight hint she might falter. She couldn't protect Han or Luke or anyone. Not really. But if she could focus, remove distractions, perhaps she would be better equipped to notice and respond to these red flags that keep popping up. She let the Pyrtor issue slide for too long. She almost lost Han in that last evacuation. She almost lost her mind waiting for word or for him to return. Now he was running himself ragged getting them to Hoth. She needed to take control of this situation.

"What was your excuse for meeting? You must have told him something since you haven't talked to him since the bombing, right? Guessing you didn't say you want to ask him about giving the Rebels up to the Empire." He was getting more and more angry every time she didn't respond. "Did you tell him you missed him? Looking for a romantic rendezvous? Hoping to get some intel during pillow talk?"

"You really are a disgusting miscreant sometimes." Her voice was sharp and angry. "What exactly are you accusing me of? Actually, don't answer that. I don't care. You have no right to question my actions, motivations or abilities."

"I'm not questioning…"

"I haven't finished speaking yet. I am not walking into this situation blind. I know what I am capable of doing and I am comfortable making my own decisions. What I choose to do or not do on a mission, how I arrange said mission, and why I am participating, are entirely my decision and one that I make in consultation with other members of High Command."

"We talked about this already, Leia! This mission is bullshit. What they're asking of you is bullshit. They're taking advantage of you."

"That's your opinion."

"Oh, c'mon!" He was shouting now. There was every chance that anyone standing near the door could hear every word. "You've said it yourself! They're playing into the idea of you, the Princess, the Senator, everything you were before the war."

"That's not what's happening here."

"There's an entire intelligence network out there! They don't need you to walk into a closed room with someone working double time with the Empire."

She looked around the room. There must be something she could throw at him. The chair looked too heavy and awkward. "I'm sorry that you feel left out of this mission, Captain, but clearly it's best if you stay away."

"I don't care that I'm missing the mission. I care that you're going. I care that you're letting them push you into this."

"For the last time, no one is pushing me into anything!" She was done worrying about who could hear them fighting. She could only see and feel rage at that moment. "Why can't you let this go? Why do you care?"

"You know damn well why I care!" He was towering over her, leaning in. "I don't want you hurt and I don't want you anywhere near him!"

She took a step back. She almost smirked. "Is that what this is? You're jealous?"

He lowered his voice, trying to regain some calm. "I'm trying to stop you from walking into a trap. Trying to keep you from getting killed."

"You're overstepping your bounds, Captain. You have no authority in this situation nor with the Alliance. I've taken your comments under consideration but the mission will be proceeding as planned."

"For fuck's sake, Leia. I just want you safe."

"I want everyone in the Alliance safe but we are at war and safety..."

He tried to lower his voice. "Not everyone. You! You are what matters. I need you to be safe."

Leia crossed her arms tightly over her chest, trying to stop herself from shaking. "That's not how it works and you know it. You need to refocus on what is important."

"You. Only you. That's the only thing that's important."

"Stop! Stop this right now!"

"You know what's happening here. You know how I feel. I know you feel it, too."

"Enough! Stop talking!"

"Look, it's true. I don't want you doing this because it's idiotic and dangerous and you're walking into a trap. And I don't want you doing this because I hate thinking about you with him or him thinking he can be with you. That you're available to him. I fucking hate that Leia."

"Are you suggesting I shouldn't go because it will make you feel bad?"

He towered over her, his finger pointing in her face. She did not flinch. "I'm not in this alone. I know you feel it, too."

"You know nothing!" She held her ground. Her eyes a blaze, full of fury, pain. "Maybe you're stuck in some delusion and I'm sorry if you've misinterpreted anything over the years but our relationship is strictly professional."

She swallowed hard, holding back tears. She was not going to cry. Not here. Not now.

"Tell me you love him."

"What?"

"Tell me you love him." He stood close to her. Kept his hands on his hips. He looked down, his expression softer, his eyes taking her in. "Say the words."

"That's none of your business." Her voice was cracking. She worked hard to keep her chin from trembling as she spoke.

"If you tell me you love him, I'll back off. Leave you to it. Whatever you want."

"I want you to respect my boundaries. My private life is no concern of yours. I don't have to tell you anything. I can do whatever I want without your permission to do so."

"Leia, I…"

"I admire your work as a pilot and the entire Alliance has benefitted from your involvement and expertise in acquiring and delivering goods." She stood tall, refrained from biting her lower lip. Kept her gaze focused on him but not his eyes. She couldn't look at him directly in the eyes because her resolve would break. "We are all eternally grateful having you on our side during a battle and the Death Star was destroyed thanks to you and Luke. I've said it before, you are a natural leader."

He looked pale. He'd lost whatever energy and truth that had propelled him. He looked defeated. She couldn't stop the tears so she ignored them. She stayed firmly in place and continued with her speech.

"But that is all. If you thought there was anything more between us, you were mistaken. I have no interest in you beyond your role with the Rebellion." It was getting harder for her to speak. "I consider you a friend, as I do Luke and Wedge and others. I trust you in the field and your instincts in battle. But anything beyond that is entirely your imagination."

He reached up to wipe her tears but she swatted his hand away.

"Don't touch me! I don't need your help. I am perfectly capable of wiping away my own tears." She brushed both sleeves over her cheeks but did little to stop the flow. "What gives you the right to say any of this to me? Your arrogance astounds me. You have an ego the size of the Death Star."

"Alright, I get it."

"I don't think you do. You think you know me better than I know myself. You're making assumptions based on your arrogant ruminations."

"You've made your point. Do what you have to do." He turned toward the door. "Sorry that I didn't know my place. I'll do better next time, Princess."

"Where are you going?" The tears started up again in full force. He didn't answer as he walked through the door.

Leia stayed in the room until the tears stopped. She hoped she could pass off the puffiness as lack of sleep and too much stress. Everyone was exhausted these days. But she knew the fight was likely heard outside the room and it was hard to miss Han storming off.

She threw herself into her work. She reviewed status reports. Approved delivery schedules. Confirmed crew transports and organized information sessions. They needed more warm weather gear. Needed to ensure the heaters, insulation for pipes and walls and equipment, arrived on time. They were working with a modified space until they could dig more tunnels and equip barracks and meeting rooms so had to prioritize what should be done first. No one was going to be happy with this move and she needed it to be as habitable as an inhospitable planet could be. She needed to understand what exactly a tauntaun was and what she was supposed to do with them.

It was quite late by the time Leia left her post. She needed sleep but that opportunity was long past. She went back to her quarters, took a quick shower and packed. She changed into one of the few dresses she owned, a white dress given to her for some occasion with long sleeves and a flowing skirt. She felt the need for armour and wearing the colour of Alderaan, the colour of a princess in waiting, the colour her parents last saw her in, provided the added layer she so desperately wanted.

She took the long route to the hanger, wandering Freedom's corridors, watching others work or talk, nodding the occasional hello. She stopped at the large viewport in the main hall for a while. The mix and match Rebel fleet surrounded the frigate. Everything moved slowly past in the immense silence. It was a moment of calm and she was grateful for it. The gathering of ships gave her hope. They were not defeated. They were facing another day.

The hanger was busy, as usual, and she made her way through a gathering, another make-shift pilot party. They had lost team members in the most recent battle and their policy was to celebrate the lives and not mourn the deaths. Once the mourning started, it would be hard to stop. That was something Leia understood only too well.

She stepped on to the Falcon's ramp as Chewie appeared at the top. He made his way down.

[Might not be a good time to visit.] Chewie kept his voice low. His growls were soft, compassionate. [He's not in a good mood.]

She tried smiling. "That's okay. I'm not feeling so great either."

[Proceed with caution, Princess. For you and him.]

Leia nodded and walked on to the ship. She dropped her bag on the bench then went looking.

It took her a while to find him. He wasn't in any of his usual places. She even tried the crew and captain's quarters. He was in the number three hold, sitting on a chair facing the door like he was waiting for her arrival. His elbows were on the armrests and hands clasped over his stomach. One leg was crossed over the other with ankle on knee.

"Hey." She stepped into the hold.

He didn't respond. He watched her approach but didn't change his expression.

"You didn't want to join the party?" She stopped directly in front of him. "Looks like they're getting ready for cards."

He clenched his jaw, his face set in an impassive mask, but his eyes gave him away. He was cautious, wary. Assessing the situation, gauging the room, ready to spring into action if danger arrived. He was reacting to heightened emotion in the same way he might a bounty hunter or debt collector. How he walked into any room, any new environment. Never trust. Always assume the worst.

"What do you want, Leia?" His voice was hoarse. She wondered if he had been yelling. She suspected that was why Chewie cautioned her upon her arrival. "You made yourself perfectly clear before. Why are you here now?"

She stepped closer and he didn't react. Didn't adjust his position. She moved his foot off his knee and stepped in between his legs. He sat up in the chair. Gripped the armrests. Continued to stare at her.

She took one more step. Her arms hung at her sides, her hips angled slightly toward him. He leaned back in his chair while gazing up at her.

Leia reached out. Her fingers ran through his hair, tucking it behind his ear. She traced his jaw and along the scar on his chin. Her thumb moved over his bottom lip then across his top. She lifted her eyes to his, taking him all in.

He took a few beats then pushed the chair back and stood up. Half of her expected him to leave. Wouldn't have been surprised if he stormed out of the hold.

The back of his right hand lightly traced her arm from the shoulder down then back up. He watched his own fingers move along her collarbone then neck. He circled her ear then along her jawline. He stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears that were no longer there.

Han cupped her cheek and leaned down. He moved slowly, giving her plenty of time to say no. Giving himself plenty of time to change his mind. Her hands were on his biceps when their lips finally touched. A soft, single kiss.

When he raised his head, he held her gaze. His thumb gently caressed her cheek. It was like neither was sure of the next move or who should make it. They let several seconds pass then a small smile formed. Her hand went to the back of his neck and he leaned in again.

They quickly gave into their hunger. Both hands on her cheeks, his tongue slid past her lips. His kisses threaten to pull her breath out. Her hands pulled his shirt from his pants and she gripped his bare sides. Their bodies pressed tightly together. When he kissed behind her ear and down her neck, she let out a low moan and he picked her up, moving her to the workstation.

He pushed her skirt up to her knees so he could stand between her legs. Their kisses were fervent, desperate. Their hands moved quickly over each other's body. He took his jacket off and threw it to the side.

His hands moved up her thighs as he kissed her neck, shoulders, chest. She let out another soft moan and his name as she arched her back.

Han brushed, nipped, sucked on her nipples through the fabric of her dress. Her hands ran through his hair, down his back, across his chest. She shuffled herself closing to the edge of the table, pressing herself against him. Her legs spread wider as they wrapped around him, her ankles at his lower back, her knees pressed into his sides. She arched her back, pressing her chest against him, whispering into his ear.

"I want you." She kissed him. Holding his cheek with one hand, the other braced against his upper back, she slid her tongue into his mouth. She could feel all her nerve endings at once. She was alive, electric, in a way she'd never known before. "I want to feel you inside me."

She was saying things she'd never said out loud before. Words she only knew from her fantasies. Her times in the dark imagining him, his lips, his hands, his tongue. Leia felt brave, empowered, excited.

He pushed the fabric of her panties aside and found her wet center. He watched her head roll back, eyes closed in pure pleasure as his finger worked against and with her. He smiled at her brief look of disappointment when he took his finger away then felt his cock grow even stiffer as she bit her lip and looked at him with intense desire as he slowly sucked her juices from his finger.

"I want you to say my name when you come." His voice was low, a growl.

She nodded as he pulled her panties off and threw them near his jacket. He pushed her skirt higher up on her hips. He then lowered himself, kissing along her inner thighs as she squirmed in anticipation. When he finally slid his tongue inside, resting her legs over his shoulders, he was amazed by the taste of her.

She was wet, very wet, and tasted like Leia. It made no sense that it could be so familiar and so enticing and new at the same time but it was what he imagined, what he wanted, and more. He could feel his erection press against his pants, the strain of his arousal growing with every lick, every shift of her hips, every time her fingers ran through his hair, pulling along with her pleasure.

Leia had been fantasizing about this moment for a long time. She had touched herself, brought herself to sweet and satisfying conclusions innumerable times. She knew her waves of pleasure, how she rolled and reached her climaxes but he took her on a new, unexpected route.

She held his head in place, rocking her hips against his tongue and fingers. For brief moments she worried she was too demanding, too insistent, but she quickly lost track of those thoughts as she rode a wave and spilled over another edge. Then another. It had to have been all one orgasm with aftershocks and refrain but she only knew for certain she felt hoarse from growling his name, calling for him.

He rose up, pushing her skirt down at the same time, and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. His tongue parted her lips once again for a deep, slow, satisfying kiss. He gave her the smallest of a half-smile.

"Now, that's a wet kiss."

Leia laughed, her body releasing any last tinges of tension. She placed a hand on his cheek as he rested his forehead against hers. Her legs were still wrapped around him and she gave him another squeeze and reached for his belt.

"Leia! You here?"

Han pulled back slightly, turning toward the sound of Luke's voice calling from the main hold. Leia felt the lump forming in her throat again.

"You ready to go?"

[Her bag's here. They're probably in the cockpit.]

With both her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him back a bit too forcefully and jumped off the table. She stood several feet away from him as she quickly felt her hair, making sure the braids were still in place, then smoothed out her skirt. She took deep breaths, hoping to calm herself and lessen the heightened colour in her cheeks.

"You're going now. To see Pyrtor." He stood quietly, hands on his hips. He was asserting a fact not asking a question.

Leia looked at him, steadying herself, trying to regain some of that ire she felt in the meeting room earlier, though she wasn't sure why she wanted it. She had felt so vulnerable, so open, a part of something bigger than herself or anything she'd known only moments earlier. But as soon as that spell was broken, the outside world broke in, she remembered who she was and what was expected of her. She couldn't be this person. She couldn't be a woman in love. Someone who felt desire and need. She was the Last Princess of Alderaan and a member of High Command. The walls were back up.

"Hey, there you are!" Luke almost ran into the hold from the ring corridor. "Ready to go? We got our clearance to leave."

"Of course. Ready whenever you are." She looked back at Han, trying to catch a glance but he was looking at the deck plating. His hands back on his hips. "Clear skies to Hoth, Captain."

He rubbed the back of his neck, gave her a quick look before averting his eyes again. "Sure. See you around, Princess."

Leia left the hold, walking the ring corridor back toward the ramp.

"Are you okay?"

Han gave Luke his best scowl. "Why wouldn't I be? Everything's perfect."

Luke felt confused. He was picking up a wash of emotions from his friend. A mix of pain and anger. A hint of faded joy.

"Things between you and Leia seem a bit tense."

"Just the usual, kid." Han moved to the table, pushing various tools around like he had some kind of plan.

"Things have been tough lately for her." Luke stepped further into the hold.

"You don't say." He was throwing the tools now.

"The Rebellion needs a break, a win sometime soon. Think she's feeling pressure from all sides. She feels responsible… for everything."

"You asking me to ease up on her?" Han started throwing things in a toolbox. He needed action. He needed loud. "She gives as good as she gets, Luke."

"I know." Luke looked behind him, making sure that Leia and Chewie were gone. "I'm mostly saying, acknowledging, that Leia's taking on a lot. Even more than usual. It's always been about the Rebellion—that always comes first—but it's like early days after the Death Star. These last few weeks especially. Maybe she's worried about the leak or getting to Hoth. She doesn't have time for anything else. She seems more determined than ever but I think she's actually more fragile."

"I know she takes on too much, Luke." He spoke barely above a whisper, a grumble.

"I worry about her. How much she can handle…"

"Luke, fuck off!" Han kicked the toolbox to the side. "I know you're sticking up for her. It's what you do. I'm glad she's got you on her side but back off. I know my rep, I know I'm the smuggler and outlaw in this scenario, but I'm not out to hurt her. Thought you knew that much."

He considered swiping everything off the table in one swift motion but decided to kick the box again instead. His head hurt. His vision was blurry. He felt like he fell for the oldest trick in the book.

"Trust me, Luke, she knows how to take care of herself."

"That's not what I meant." Luke sat on a crate and faced Han. "I'm going to say something that will make you mad but I want you to let me get through it. Listen."

Han faced his friend, leaned against the workstation. Luke took his silence as agreement.

"I love Leia. She's the most incredible person I've met. She's brilliant, brave, determined, funny. I can't believe the luck and who knows what that brought us all together."

Han didn't respond though his jaw was obviously clenched.

Luke continued. "I really hope that she finds happiness someday. I hope she finds a way to relax. Have a family if that's what she wants. Be in love. Especially after all that she's lost, everything she gave up, Leia deserves to love and be loved."

Han crossed his arms over his chest. "What's your point, Luke? Saying you're that person? Pyrtor? Saying I should back off cos I'll never give her what she deserves?"

"Let me finish, Han." Luke's hands were on his knees. He leaned forward as he spoke. He didn't break his steady gaze. "I'm worried about you."

Han's eyes flashed into pools of anger but Luke kept his even tone.

"I know she would never intentionally hurt you either but that's what she's doing. She pushes you away and then she's angry if you aren't right beside her. She doesn't want you to leave and refuses to admit she wants you to stay. I truly believe she loves you. If this were a different world or she was in a different place, you would both be very happy. I'm sure of it."

Han turned away, closed his eyes.

"This is going to be hard for you to hear but you deserve someone to love you as much as you love them." Luke paused, giving Han a chance to respond but was met with silence. "I know you love her. Sometimes it's hard to watch how much you love her. But for whatever reason, Leia can't do it now."

"You talked to her about this?" Han didn't change his position or turn toward Luke.

"We haven't talked about any of this explicitly but I can feel it. Sometimes her pain, her need to control and overrule her emotions, radiates off her. She's struggling with it."

Luke could feel Han's emotions were swirling around him. Anger mixed with fear and desperation.

"Han, I'm not telling you what you should do. I've got no idea. I know you'll follow her anywhere. I know you want to make it better. Wait it out. Be there if she's ever ready. Maybe that's the right thing to do. Or maybe she's not in the kind of pain you can fix."

Han finally turned to look at Luke, his hazel eyes remained intense and hard. "She needs me. I know she does."

"I agree. But she doesn't know how to accept what you're offering." Luke stood up and put a hand on Han's shoulder. "Like I said, I don't have the answers here."

Han nodded once.

Luke turned back before leaving the hold. "You might want to do a quick clean up." He pointed to Leia's underwear, lying next to the back wall where Han had tossed them, then he left.

Han waited until he was sure Luke was long gone before he left his spot against the workstation. He wasn't sure what to do next so decided to just keep moving.