Chapter Nineteen

Han found Luke in the meeting room. He was sitting at the table, hands folded in front of him, eyes closed. Beings were filling up the room, conversation flowing, chairs moving as everyone assembled for the briefing. Luke sat serenely in the midst of it all.

"You can meditate in all this noise?"

Luke opened one eye to look at Han.

"People leave you alone if they think it's a Jedi thing."

Han gave him an approving nod.

"Looks like we've switched things up." Han grabbed a kaffe from the cart as it passed by. "I got the uniform and you're set to come and go as you please."

"You're going to wear a uniform?"

"Speaking metaphorically."

They'd tried convincing Luke to take up his commission again but he only agreed to work with the new government on an ad hoc basis. He'd spent the past year training on some swamp planet only leaving occasionally for some Jedi training adventure and returning to the fleet, right on time as promised, to finish off the Emperor and Vader. He had plans to expand the Jedi Order, find and train the Force-sensitive, but until then he'd help the Rebels, now rebranded as the Government of the New Republic.

"Any idea where they're gonna send us?"

Luke shrugged. "There's a lot happening. It could be anywhere."

Han didn't know what happened to the kid on the Death Star as he battled the dark lords but it left his body a wreck. He'd spent most of that first week after the battle in and out of the med centre. Luke clearly wasn't too pleased with all that lying around but it gave him time with Leia. Luke had already processed the sibling news and that Vader was their father, and even that Anakin redeemed himself to save Luke, but for Leia it was all new and raw.

She and Han comm'd when they could so he knew she was happy about the twin part but she flat out refused to discuss her parentage. She wasn't talking to Han about it. She dismissed the topic with Luke. She could barely even refer to him as the recently deceased main henchman for the Empire. Vader was not up for discussion.

He didn't push her. She'd already made it through some awful shit so he trusted her to know when it was time to talk. She was focusing on the positive and moving forward. Their victory over Endor was only the beginning. They were heading into more battles and negotiations but at least they weren't the long shot anymore.

Leia told Han the truth as the Death Star exploded overhead. Said she knew Luke was okay and then got a dreamy happy look and added, I can feel it. That sent him into a quick spiral. All his alarm bells had gone off the night before when he watched Leia and Luke talking outside the Ewok village. She was upset but wouldn't tell him why. His mind started spinning, wondering how many lies he'd missed, but then she asked him to hold her. Cried in his arms. He pushed those thoughts aside because she needed him and that's all that mattered in that moment. He'd hold her for as long as she needed.

That was his truth. He loved her. It was intense and all-consuming and sometimes freaked him out because it was so new, so removed from anything else he'd experienced. It was open-ended and he wasn't sure what to do with that information. There wasn't an end date. There was nothing about his time with Leia that felt like for now. It felt like forever. And as he sat in the dell with her, bandaging her blaster-burned arm and watching her get all lost in warm thoughts about Luke or maybe the Republic's bright future without the Empire, the forever part didn't scare him. It was almost a calm feeling, assured and confident, knowing he wanted her to have that warm glow as often as possible and if that was for Luke or whatever and not him then that was also his truth. It was going to cut him up inside but Leia being happy was the important part. Maybe the forever part wasn't with him but it would always be for her.

When she laughed at him and said, Luke is my brother, Han was happy and relieved and it took him a few minutes to realize there was more to that story. They were lying in the dell, well-hidden from the other Rebels and activity, watching the fireworks of the exploding Death Star above them. She was tucked into his side, a favourite place for both of them, and he massaged her arm, careful not to touch the blaster wound and bandage.

"Did Luke explain how this sibling thing works? Why you're a princess and he's a farm boy? And why didn't you know about Anakin Skywalker, too? Seems like Bail would be happy raising the daughter of a Jedi Knight and Clone War hero."

Leia gave him a tight squeeze and sat up. She turned so she was sitting cross-legged, facing him.

"There's more."

Han did not take it well. Not the Vader part. He almost breezed past that bit.

"What happened to the promise to stay honest? Were you even going to tell me this part?" He knew he wasn't being entirely fair. He was always waiting for the double-cross and she played right into it.

"I wasn't hiding It."

"I asked you last night and you refused to talk." He raised himself so he rested on his bent elbows.

"I've known for less than twenty-four hours!"

"There was time. We had sex. Pretty great sex. You had time to fill me in."

"Let me get this straight. You aren't upset that Darth Vader is my father. You're mad because you think I was trying to hide it from you."

"Darth Vader has nothing to do with you being you. Other than hating him helped you get through a lot of this war."

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want it to be true! Saying it out loud would make it true and then I'd have to live with you knowing the truth. Seeing that monster in me. A man who caused so much pain in my life, for the galaxy, is my father. All I'm left with is questions. Did Bail know? Breha? You don't get to talk about anyone lying to you! I just found out I have a brother and he's going to face our evil, half-machine father in a duel and it seemed very likely I would lose him, too. And then, apparently, I'd have to learn to use the Force to stop the Sith? It was too much. I just needed to be with you. Feel loved even if it was for the last time. And then we had to do our jobs. Finish the mission. Hope too many beings didn't die in the process."

He watched her talk, arms waving about, forgetting to keep them clasped in her lap. Her cheeks were flushed. She looked angry and in a daze.

"Okay. Fair point."

"There's nothing fair about this situation." She pressed her hands against her face, took several deep breaths.

He knew she was hitting an edge. She might tumble over into grief and anger or block herself off from all emotions. Han wanted to pull her back from either extreme. They were in the midst of all the action still. He knew Leia needed to maintain her composure in front of the troops, she relied on that persona to keep moving, but he didn't want her to return to the automaton who appeared right after Alderaan. He didn't want her to disengage completely.

"Did you and Luke talk about all of this?"

She shook her head. "Very little. He's my brother and he had to face Vader covers it."

Han noted that she was already avoiding the Vader is our father issue. He also wondered about her learning to use the Force to stop the Sith but they could worry about that part later.

"You didn't cover the fact your brother had the hots for you when we first met?"

She rolled her eyes. Gave her head a shake. Han smiled knowing he got the response he wanted.

"That was barely a crush."

"Did you forget I took him to a brothel so he could get over his farm boy crush?"

"Did you forget that Luke didn't do anything other than talk at your brothel?"

"Not my brothel. And the point is that he had a crush. On his sister."

Leia narrowed her eyes at Han. She took a deep breath and tried to disguise her half-smile.

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah." He nudged her with his knee. "But I'm your idiot."

As she started to laugh, he pulled her back down. They kept their place, tucked into each other's side, watching the display above them and ignoring the activity around them, for a few minutes more. When they got up, there was nothing to do but move forward.

Leia quickly set up a command centre on planet while Han and his team did a sweep of the Imperial bunker. They had their next orders even before the victory party started. Clean-up and scope of the rest of the moon, extract all the records they could find, move on to the next Imperial base in the region. The local Grand Moff had disappeared shortly after the Death Star so they set to work calming the chaos left behind.

Han didn't mind the job and he liked his team. There'd been some rearranging since the big battle as soldiers were reassigned and moved to hot spots. There were a few who took leave or resigned their commission, headed home or wherever they thought they belonged, but most were in it for the next round and it didn't take long before his team was working like a well-oiled machine.

But there were still too many meetings for Han's liking. Sometimes he was ordered up to Home One, other times he comm'd in, and they always took far too long. The only reason he didn't refuse outright to attend was because it was a way to see Leia. And yes. Fine. He did see the advantage of these meetings strategy-wise. It was good to have the big picture about everything that was going on. But Generals were coming out of the woodwork now. Streaming in from far-flung bases. Popping up on comms. And everyone had a damn opinion.

A few of them made it known they didn't agree with High Command's decision to make a smuggler and no-good petty criminal a New Republic General but Han wasn't too bothered by it. He was used to being dismissed by the self-important crowd and there was the chaos loving part of him who looked forward to them figuring out he was also sleeping with the Princess.

High Command, for the most part, ignored it. Or did their best to pretend that it wasn't happening. Han got the occasional side eye and stern look if he stood too close to Leia. Mon Mothma and Dodonna were polite and respectful in meetings but also whisked Leia away whenever possible. Leia usually looked back at him with a sly smile, sometimes a wink, because they both knew what was happening and neither was deterred. High Command didn't know them, didn't know they'd already said I love you. Didn't know they had every intention of making this relationship work.

Rieekan was the only one to show any emotion at all and that seemed to mostly be shock.

He was the only other member of High Command to shuttle down from Home One to join in on the victory celebration though they didn't see him until quite late. The four of them kept mostly to themselves with a few friends popping in and out. Most of them, Rogues and techs, knew that Leia was spending nights on the Falcon so she let her guard down a bit. She hugged Han as often as he hugged her. Her arm slipped around his waist as she laughed at something or another. They were holding hands and Han couldn't remember who had taken the initiative. It's possible that he wasn't even fully aware that their fingers were laced together, her hand neatly tucked inside his, until he noticed Rieekan staring at them from a few feet away.

Rieekan was in his own group of chatty and probably drunk Rebels but wasn't participating. Rieekan's eyes were locked on Han and Leia's hands. He looked confused and maybe a bit lost. When he finally raised his eyes, caught Han staring back, Han simply nodded then turned back to his own conversation. He gave himself a beat before whispering in her ear.

"Rieekan's here."

She didn't waste a moment. She dropped Han's hand, but not in a way that looked like she was trying to drop it, and ran to hug Rieekan. Han watched as the two them slipped to the side of the crowd and sat down for a quiet talk. They needed that moment together. They'd lost Alderaan. Rieekan had planned and organized alongside Bail long before the fighting started. He'd stepped into the role of surrogate father for Leia as much as she would let him. They had a history and understanding that went far deeper than the Rebellion.

For the first bit, Leia sat up straight with hands in her lap but she relaxed as time went on. She told Han later that she revealed Luke was her twin but not the Vader bit. It was comforting talking to Rieekan. He helped fill in a few things, what he remembered about her arriving at the palace, and they spent most of that time reminiscing about Bail and Breha, Rieekan's family, and that they should have been there to see this victory.

When they rejoined the larger group, Rieekan clapped Han on the shoulder and took his hand. He didn't say anything but instead shook Han's hand, smiled then walked away.

Han looked at Leia and raised an eyebrow. "What's up with that?"

"I disclosed our relationship to personnel more than a month ago." Leia smiled as she took Han's hand again. "It's not my problem if he wasn't paying attention."

She stepped toward him and lowered her voice. "How close is the Falcon?"

"Close enough."

She let go of his hand and smiled as she backed away. Han let her almost reach the path into the forest before following her. Maybe everyone saw, maybe no one did. He only cared that they were heading in the same direction and they would soon be in his bunk.

Han turned as Leia sat on the chair beside him.

"Nice of you to join us, Flyboy." She pulled out her datapad and set her work on the table in front of her.

"Haven't been on vacation, your Highness." He leaned back in his chair. "This General business, cleaning up the galaxy, takes up a lot of time."

"So, I've heard." She smiled but didn't look at him.

He watched her as she checked messages on her datapad, organized her notes, and realized she was laughing. Leia looked around Han, catching Luke's eye.

"Don't even think it."

Han looked at Luke, saw he was laughing, too.

Luke shrugged, gave Han a quick glance. "Hard not to."

"Alright, alright!" Han held up both his hands like he was holding them back. "Keep the Force twin thing in check. It's not as cute as you think."

Both Luke and Leia continued their quiet laughter as Han leaned back in his chair again. It was going to be a long life if these two kept up this routine.

It was Rieekan who finally stood and called the meeting to order.

"We should move this along." Rieekan waved a hand at a Lieutenant sitting nearby who turned on the large display monitor. "Princess Leia, would you like to start us off?"

Leia spoke from her seat, her voice clear and strong as she updated the room on the Outer Rim campaign. Han watched as she spoke and tried not to look too in awe. She almost never stood in these meetings when presenting. She didn't need to draw attention to herself, make herself a focal point. Everyone in the room was drawn to her. Her steady and strong voice. Her confidence and conviction. Even when Han noticed those tiny hitches, her tells that she was nervous or slightly unsure, she looked unflappable to the rest of the world. She saved her moments of vulnerability for their alone time. When she knew it was safe to let go.

"Our outreach was largely successful. While matters aren't settled, we've helped a number of local governments gain control." Leia used her datapad to change the display screen to show highlighted Outer Rim systems. "We've also managed to secure a few systems with holds on major trade routes and opened up new resource supply chains."

She gave a quick overview of battles, on-going and settled, and which systems had already descended into chaos with Rebels, locals, Imperials and crime syndicates all vying for power. The group discussed how many troops could be sent and where they were best utilized. There were too many battles happening at once. They needed to choose which would help them establish new alliances.

Mon Mothma reported on a number of worlds that were ready to align with the New Republic. She emphasized the importance of solidifying these allegiances. Envoys were being sent out to negotiate agreements with the provisional government. More members meant more resources and sent a message of legitimacy to the rest of the galaxy.

Han looked at Leia, thinking she'd likely be the first name on that roster, but she shook her head.

He pressed his leg against hers under the table and felt her press back. It only lasted for a few seconds, long enough for her to acknowledge him, that she liked the touch, before pulling back. It was one thing being around the Rogues or in the hanger. They didn't hide their relationship there. She walked on and off the Falcon with little concern. His hand rested on her back or over her shoulder now and then. No one was surprised any more when she dropped by games or that Han followed her out soon after. There was a natural flow to it. She remained careful but some things were allowed to slip through. Under the right circumstances.

With High Command, Mothma or the rest of the Generals, things were different. It was her turf, even if he was now a member, and he let her take the lead. If she wanted it professional, he could do professional. He still threw in the occasional wink to set her off guard but, for the most part, he paid attention, listened and spoke in turn. Okay, so he called things bantha shit more than the average General and told Grann to get his head out of his ass a few times but, all in all, he was well-behaved.

"We've had an agent inside Thyre Industries since the security breach last year." Madine was talking again and Han realized that he'd lost the thread of the meeting for a bit there. He wasn't sure how they hit on Thyre. "We decided it was judicious to keep a closer eye on activities as the company leadership's was linked to Empire activities."

Madine waved a hand to slide to the next screen on the tactical board. It was a bird's eye view of a factory.

"We now have confirmation that Grand Moff Nolram has taken control of Thyre Industries' main factory on Sieggaro."

Han quickly refocused to take all the information in and catch up. Nolram was working with Dynsara Thyre, who has been on her own quest for power over the past year as she fought to oust her father and brother from the family business. Apparently the board was siding with Pyrtor and she was about to get the boot when the galaxy shifted and Nolram made his move. With the Emperor gone and no successor in place, the Grand Moffs were vying for the top spot and Nolram was using his Thyre connections for his boost.

"The Marlja splicers have confirmed that Thyre Industries, originating from the factory on Siegarro, are attempting to break into the communications satellites in a number of systems." Dodonna leaned on the table at the front of the room. He looked exhausted. The old man had been at this war business for a long time.

"They have yet to succeed." Madine spoke from his seat at the side of the room. "Thankfully, most systems have extensive security protocols but it will only be a matter of time."

"We need to gain control of this situation or we will likely lose means of communications throughout most of the galaxy." Dodonna gave a solemn nod after this statement though he didn't really need to emphasize that point. Everyone quickly grasped the seriousness of the situation.

Rieekan stood next. "We need to also bear in mind that Thyre Industries is in possession of valuable tech, including portions of the recently destroyed Death Star, that were developed and built on Sieggaro. A number of new weapons projects are under development at this factory. We need access to this information and, most importantly, we need to stop further development and production of these weapons."

"How do we know those weapons plans haven't already been transmitted out?" Luke stared intently at the display screen, as though the images of communications satellites would reveal a secret code. "Every Moff in the galaxy might already have access."

"Nolram is vying for power." Rieekan crossed his arms over his chest. "All the Moffs are pushing for the Emperor's seat. We are working on the assumption that he'll want to keep that information as his own bargaining chip."

"And what do we know about the workers in the factory?" Up until this point, Leia had been silent. She looked between the three Generals at the front of the room. "Should we assume they are effectively hostages during this lockdown?"

"Nolram didn't arrive with too many troopers." Madine pulled up the bird's eye view of the factory again and pointed to Imperial transports dotting the grounds. "But we know that the entrances have been secured and no one has left the building since the takeover four days ago."

Their Thyre agent provided details of Nolram's arrival and detailed specs of the building, including where the stormtroopers were stationed, before dropping all contact. Han thought this sounded suspicious, especially when Madine confirmed Pyrtor and his father were already on-site but knew that wasn't reason enough to cancel the mission. They needed to stop Nolram. They needed those weapons plans. The factory workers needed to be released. But that didn't mean they had to follow their contact's instructions.

Han leaned over the table and tried not to scowl. "Fine. Why you going in through the front door though? Why not just ring the doorbell?"

"It's not the front door, General Solo." Dodonna barely refrained from sighing. "Our contact provided extensive reconnaissance and this entrance has fewer guards."

"Maybe. Or maybe that's exactly what Nolram wants." Han turned to the Lieutenant in charge of the display screen. "Pull up the floor plan again, would ya?"

Han moved in closer so he could point. "You got admin offices here, access to garage, probably a kaffe station, for kriff's sake."

"No guessing how many or who is there at any given time," Leia said. "Too much traffic. Unpredictable."

Han nodded at Leia and smiled.

"So, we go in another door." Luke walked up to stand beside Han. "The east entrance is too close to the flight deck. We could try for the roof." He flipped through displays till he found the top level. He pointed at the entranceway. "It's a long way down but a straight shot."

"And if we're detected there's nowhere to go." Leia remained in her seat. "It would be very easy for stormtroopers to capture or eliminate any visitors moving via the elevator."

"That's why we go the other way."

"From below?" Luke looked at Han, intrigued. "The sewers?"

Han almost winked. "Maintenance tunnels, actually." He flipped back to the lowest level plan. "You'd have to blow through a gate or two but you'd get there faster."

"Blow through a gate or two. Subtle."

"Subtle's not my job, Sweetheart." This time he did wink and he could see Dodonna bristle from ten feet away.

The details were quickly settled with Han leading the mission and Chewie, Luke and Leia rounding out the command team. Han felt a rush, a bit of excitement that the old gang was back together, before the meeting moved on to other matters. Afterward, Leia, Dodonna and Mothma left for their next briefing while he met with Rieekan to discuss the finer details of the Siegarro mission. That meeting, of course, led into another and it was several hours before he could start his search for Leia.

When she wasn't on the bridge or the Command Centre, Han walked to her quarters. He palmed about the door, still a bit surprised she provided him with that level of access. Decorum and all. Though it also occurred to him she did it so he wouldn't linger in the corridor waiting for her.

The space was small but still a step up from her quarters on any of the bases. There was an actual bed instead of a cot. Not as wide as the Falcon's but not too shabby either. There was a small kitchenette with a table, a seating area with small sofa, and a private 'fresher, which is where he found her.

He threw his coat on the back of a chair and walked into the small, steam-filled room and leaned against the counter. He could see her form, back arched to rinse the shampoo from her hair, through the opaque shower door.

"Did you know about this?"

"I found out an hour before the meeting." Her tone was casual but he thought he heard a touch of resentment. "They positioned it as giving me space after a painful incident and removing conflict of interest. Perhaps I couldn't be trusted with the information?"

"They trust you now." He uncrossed his arms and placed them on the counter behind him. "Putting you right back into the Thyre maw."

"I volunteered. If negotiations happen, I'm still the best person for the job." She ran her fingers through her hair, ensuring all tangles were out. "I know the Thyres, Nolram. In case you weren't aware, I'm a master negotiator."

"Does this trust issue explain why they made me mission lead and not you?" He liked being in charge and had proven he could lead teams through dangerous environs, especially these past couple of weeks with Endor and chasing down the local Imps. "I've got the bars now but High Command likes to play favourites."

"It's a military operation. You're military. I'm not."

"You led military campaigns through the war. Why cut you off now?"

"Because, General, we are the provisional government now and we must adhere to galactic protocols and laws. We are rebels no more."

"That's bullshit. Enlist then you're in charge."

"They probably wouldn't even accept my commission at this point. I'm expected in the government. That was plan all along. Princess. Senator. Remember?"

"Lots happened in four years. You can charge your course like the rest of us."

He didn't set out to become a General. Or fall in love. Or go legitimate in any fashion. Luke always intended to follow in his father's footsteps to become a Jedi but that was before he knew his father's true identity. Or that he had a sister. Or that he'd end up as some Jedi-fighter pilot-diplomat hybrid.

She turned off the water and pulled back the shower door. Leia stood in front of him, wet, glistening, with a small smile. She nodded toward her towel.

"I'm not sure that's a luxury I'm allowed." She took the towel from his hand, tugging so he let go. "Not anymore. Restoring order to the galaxy means stepping back into roles expected of me."

He watched as she ran the towel over her hair, squeezing out droplets of water.

"Need any help drying off? Princess. Senator." He waited until she moved closer, standing so her breasts brushed against his chest. He took the towel back. Wrapping it around her shoulders, he pulled her in. "Leia."

Her hands went into his hair as she pulled him down for a kiss. His hand cupped her ass, hiking her up slightly. She pulled back and laughed as she felt his hardening erection.

"Good to see you, General."

She pulled the towel around her, holding it closed against her chest, and stepped into the main room.

"Did you get something to eat?"

"You got food here?"

She pulled one of Han's t-shirts over her head and picked up leggings from the end of her bunk. "I do." She smiled at him. "I brought in food from the mess. It just needs to be heated up."

He sat on her bunk, stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on straight arms. "So domestic."

"That's right." Leia put on a pair of socks, pulling them up almost to her knees. "A regular little housewife."

"Are those my socks? Are you only wear my clothes now?" He tried to make his voice sound accusatory but he wasn't fooling anyone. They both knew he liked it.

She stood in front of him, nudging one of his legs aside so she could stand between them. She started weaving a braid through her damp hair.

"How did the rest of your planning session go? Did you get the details worked out?"

"Pretty much." He gave her legs a quick squeeze with his own. "Leia, I'm not crazy about you going on this mission. Pyrtor's there and we don't know if he's still pissed. We only have leaked info from a contact that disappeared and might be sending us into a trap that says he's not involved with Nolram and the sister's plan."

She continued working on her braid. "My instincts say he was not involved."

"Is that the Force talking?"

She pressed her lips together. "No. That's years of experience working in politics and diplomacy, as well as a lifetime in service to Alderaan, not to mention several years leading missions and procuring intel during wartime, talking."

She finished with her braid and let her arms fall to her sides. Leia was still refusing to address the issue of her force-sensitivity and parentage. She was more than happy to welcome Luke as her brother—and didn't mind if they could play it out as a joke on Han—but everything else was off limits. Han decided it wasn't time to push that particular button.

"Well, my instincts tell me this info conveniently dropped to get you on site." He gave her legs another squeeze to distract her from his Force comment. Get her back on track. "Too many specific instructions on routes and timing."

"Good thing we're not following those instructions."

Leia smiled at him, knowing he was reviewing every scenario for the mission, the many ways things could go sideways, all the things he could say to get her to sit this one out. She knew him well.

And he knew there wasn't much point in trying to convince her because there was no way she was stepping aside. He worried about her safety, didn't want to leave anything to chance, but the truth was Leia's willingness to face everything head-on, not back down, do whatever needed doing was sexy. Her stubborn, unrelenting bravery and inexhaustible push to set things on a better course was sexy as fuck. Han was damn glad they were finally in a position to something about it.

"Sending Dameron and Stralla in with you and Luke. Both know explosives so they can get you through that first blast door."

"That's smart."

"Thanks."

"Rest of the team with you and Chewie at the south entrance?"

"Most. Few stationed around the perimeter. Antilles and the Rogues will be with Madine on the Turhaya if we need support or help getting prisoners off-planet."

She crossed her arms over her chest. Not in a defensive move but as she pondered the information. She wasn't used to not being involved in the planning of missions she was involved in. She'd been pulled away to meet with Mon about more diplomatic matters, offer her opinions on upcoming negotiations. Now he was presenting a plan finalized without her input. This was a new twist on their relationship. He wasn't the interloper with the snide comments meant to derail her. He was in charge. It was his team. His mission.

"You look impressed."

She turned back to look at him. Nodded. "It's a good plan."

"That turn you on?"

She laughed. "How did you jump to that conclusion?"

"Just checking in."

She bit her lip to curb a small smile. "Possibly."

He dipped his head toward the bunk. "You should sit down with me. Settle in."

"You should take off your boots and holster." She stepped back and walked toward the kitchenette. "I'm going to heat up some noodles. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

They sat at the small table, eating noodles, filling each other in on what happened since his last Home One stopover. Mission successes and setbacks. Commentary on what was next, what was proposed, what should be dismissed. Gossip about who was fighting, who was fucking, and how many had figured out about them. They had checked in over comms when they could, when they were in the same sector, but they were still getting used to this routine. Han felt like he had only just adjusted to their new life with the Rebels—all day meetings then nighttime check-ins and sleep overs—and were now forced to learn something new.

He'd spent three years with the Rebels essentially coming and going as he pleased. His missions often aligned with hers because those are the ones he picked. In hindsight, he could see that he might have been following her around. He denied it every time Chewie made that claim but the Wookiee had a point. It was also hard to deny the irony of finally being together, admitting they loved each other, and barely spending any time together. Signing up was important, he was doing good work, but this work and mission schedule were bullshit. Didn't seem right that they'd only get time together when heading into possible traps set by ex-boyfriend.

"Mothma giving you a hard time about not joining her victory lap?"

Han almost always spoke somewhat dismissively of the Chancellor, and he certainly didn't know how to relax and talk around her, but he was gaining respect for her these days. Mon Mothma seemed to be keeping her cool as they pulled together the loose threads of the failing Empire and tried to form a new coalition. As long as she didn't try to make Leia do something she didn't want to do, Han didn't have a problem.

"Victory lap is a bit misleading." They'd moved to her bunk. She rested her legs over his lap as he leaned up against the end. "She wasn't thrilled. It is important to have those systems officially sign on but she doesn't need me to accomplish it."

"But she wants the star power of the Princess in tow."

Leia gave a slight shrug. Four years of living underground did little to push Leia from the spotlight. She was still seen as enemy one, even if Vader was more interested in capturing Luke. If only the dark lord knew the truth. He had his own daughter in his grasp more than once.

"I don't think I could stomach sitting through negotiations with leaders claiming loyalty to the New Republic when most of them did nothing to support the cause during the war. They played it safe to see how it worked out. Most of them aren't coming to the table to work out trade deals and peace treaties that will be mutually beneficial. They are jumping in early, promising resources, to get more than their fair share."

"Ain't that politics? What else did you expect?"

"I suppose I hoped that living under Imperial tyranny, and years of war, meant things changed. People might see the difference between being torn apart and working together."

She got that far away look that often happened when she thought about Bail or Alderaan. Her mother who worked so diligently for equality. Both her parents had instilled the importance of leaving any place better than when you found it.

"No. That's not it exactly. I've never been that naïve." She settled against the wall behind her. "It is politics and there was a time when that was my job. Everyone said the right things and almost everyone acted in their own best interests. They claimed to work for their constituents but their main concern was the elite, the monied, their cronies. Not everyone in government, of course. I really don't think my father acted selfishly. He made deals but was an honest man. I would put Mon in that category, too. I know you question her motives where I am concerned but she is trustworthy. I'm not sure where I fall on that spectrum. I wasn't acting for personal gain but my concern was the Rebellion and stopping the Empire and maybe I left other behind. I played the game, though. Did and said all the things a politician is supposed to do. Followed all the rules my parents taught me."

Leia took a breath and quickly looked up, careful to stop any impending tears. Han looked on with concern but let her take this where she needed it to go. If tears happened they'd deal with it.

"I'm not sure I can do it anymore." She looked back at Han and he gave her a small smile and nod. "I don't think I can pretend everything is okay when it isn't. I'm not sure I can sit at a negotiations table with politicians who have every intention of signing with the Republic and are only trying to curry favour. The systems that supported the Rebellion, whether openly or through donations, have already pledged loyalty. It's a waste of time and resources for me to go to these talks simply because they want a photo op with the Rebel Princess. I want to make a difference."

"You don't think you've already made a difference? You don't have to keep throwing yourself in the line of fire."

"You don't think I have an impact working missions or the field?"

"Not what I said!" He held up a finger up, not really pointing but definitely for emphasis. "I'm saying that you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you wanna be back on the negotiation side full time, there's plenty to keep you busy."

"You wouldn't miss me out here?"

"Every damn minute! But maybe you could get a nice not battle-field set up. Could spend all my furloughs with you in a bed that actually accommodates two fully-grown humans. Well, maybe one and a half."

"Nice."

"I try."

"I'm not suggesting I leave the negotiations side entirely. But I'm not sure if that's the only thing I want to be doing. I think my skill set could best be used in sectors that require actual negotiations. I'm not saying I want to walk into an active warzone and ask leaders for a meeting but I'm not afraid to do so if needed. Send me to the Outer Rim. Systems that kept themselves removed from the Empire. Planets that were loyal to the Empire but have the chance to redefine themselves. I'm stubborn. I have stamina. I'm very good at my job."

"No one's gonna argue with that point."

He squeezed her thigh. Locked eyes with her to make sure she wasn't tumbling in one direction or another. She smiled. She was holding steady with him.

"Thank you for understanding that it's my choice. And for not insinuating that the success of our relationship hinges on my being in one place or another."

"Yeah, well, I'm not actually so happy about that part." He shifted in his spot and rearranged her legs higher in his lap. "After everything, getting the occasional night together cos our meetings schedules line up isn't ideal."

"That's our bad timing not the war's. We could have figured things out sooner."

"We?"

She gave her head a slight shake and looked back down at her lap. Han nudged her thigh, made her look up so he could smile and let her know he was joking. Mostly.

"I'm not complaining about the jobs they've handed me so far. Hard to see the end of it but we're moving toward something." He hadn't thought this part through, yet, and it wasn't the kind of thing he usually worked through out loud. But the words were coming out of his mouth before he decided to speak. "Not sure how I'm gonna last, though. Not sure giving and taking orders works for me."

She nodded.

"I know. I understand." She sat up straighter and placed her hands against her stomach. It was a slight twist on her go-to calming manoeuvre and Han wondered what caused the change. "What do you think you'll do?"

He shook his head. "Haven't thought that far ahead. Don't have a schedule worked out. Just saying it will likely happen."

"Sooner rather than later."

"I'm not rushing off, Leia. Not running away from anything. Anyone." He held her gaze. Didn't want her to waver or think he wasn't steady. "Just something that's on my mind. Letting you know."

"I understand." She pulled her legs back from his lap and tucked them beneath her. Hands went back to her lap. "I would prefer to not touch on certain topics but perhaps there are a few items we should address."

Han had no intention of opening any unwanted door. He waved a hand indicating she should continue if that's what she wanted.

"You were right in saying our circumstances have changed. A number of times, in fact. We made a commitment to each other, to see where this would go…"

"No. We said we're in this together not a let's wait and see."

"I'm merely saying that I understand if you are reconsidering your commitment."

"I said I didn't know how long I'd stick with the commission. I wasn't talking about you."

"Is there a difference?"

"Of course there's a fucking difference!"

She shook her head again. He couldn't tell if it was fury, frustration or confusion. Probably a mix of all three.

"You have to realize what you're taking on being with me."

"Listen! If you want to talk about Vader that's fine. I'm here for whatever. But don't push me off or think you're giving me a way out cos you don't want to deal with it."

"I don't want to talk about him! I will not talk about him." She pushed her hair back, tucked strands behind her ears. "But things have changed."

"The only thing that's changed is I got real used to you being in my bed every night and now I miss you. Turns out I don't like sleeping alone." He nudged her knee. "But don't let that one out. I got a reputation to maintain."

She looked up again, took another deep breath. "I miss you, too."

"Okay, Princess." He ran a hand up and down her thigh. "Don't get all emotional on me."

She watched as he took her hand, rubbed her palm with his thumb.

"Do you think I'm cold?"

"C'mon, Leia. It was a joke. You know I don't think that."

"But you think I'm controlled."

"I think you spend too much time trying to control how people see or think about you. I like that you let go when we're alone. Relax. Drop that politician act and kick back." He moved his hand up, tracing a finger along her arm. "Definitely like you letting go. That part blows my mind. Cos Leia going for that orgasm is kriffin' amazing."

As he promised on their first night together back on Marlja, he was demanding. He told her what he wanted, how he wanted her, what he wanted her to do. At first, she was confused. Not put off but honestly wasn't sure how to respond. When she was slow to react, he reassured that he wasn't pressuring her to do anything. He wanted her to say no if didn't want something. He wanted her to say yes if she did.

Leia shook her head and laughed. "It's more that no one's said anything like that before. People don't say cock to princesses."

It didn't take long for her to make her own demands and he always complied. It was a marvel watching her peel back her layers, letting her raw energy, needs and desires pour out. She was the same stubborn, sometimes controlling, sometimes vulnerable woman who could set his world on fire and still keep him steady and calm amid the mess and chaos that surrounded them. He'd never been with anyone before that required so much of him. It was more than a good time, more than the short time they spent together. They were building this ship as they were flying it. They needed each other to make it work.

Han kissed her wrist. He wanted to pull her into his lap but knew she was working things out. Jostling her around when she wasn't ready didn't always work for the best.

"You don't need to prove anything to me. Not trying to convince you to be or do anything you're not comfortable doing. Honest. I mean, I wouldn't turn you down if you ever wanted to fuck in a storage room but I don't think you're cold or don't love me cos that's not your thing."

She nodded again, smiled, then rolled her eyes when he held up a finger indicating he had more to say.

"That doesn't mean I agree. I get it's how you were raised. You're supposed to be some shiny, removed, always in control example for the masses. But that doesn't mean your parents, High Command, Elder Houses, whoever, were always right. You just said you didn't think you could be the politician you were raised to be now that you know everything you know. Maybe they're also wrong about how the worlds would react if we kissed in public."

"We've kissed in public."

"Not a thanks for blowing up the Death Star peck."

"What would qualify?"

He mouthed tongue and she burst out laughing.

"You had to make it gross."

There were some changes to their public interactions, though maybe only noticeable to anyone paying close attention. They were small things. Intimate but not showy. Like he might take a sip of her kaffe, pulling the cup from her hand while they talked and returning it without missing a beat. Or when she rested a hand on his arm as they sat next to each other, recapping the meeting as everyone else hurried out for their next appointment. There was also the time in the mess hall when she slowly ate a piece of shuura fruit in front of him and knew exactly what she was doing. That would have been a good time for a storage room visit.

"Just saying it'll be okay if people see more than one version of you. You can be more than one version at a time. We both know damn well the likes to be in charge Leia shows up in the bunk as much as the tell me what you want one does."

She eyed him suspiciously. "And what if that's not something that ever happens? If Princess Leia, daughter of Bail and Breha Organa, former Senator of Alderaan is all I want to be in public."

Hand on heart. "Then we'll make up for a lot of lost time in private." He gave her a wicked half-smile. "Get ready for gross."

"Are you saying this so I can't berate you every time you tell Grann or Dodonna to shove it?"

"Shove it? Never said shove it. Fuck off? Sure. Never shove it."

She sighed. He knew she wanted to move on but couldn't quite drop the subject. "I've heard all this before. Cold. Distant. Emotionless."

"For fuck's sake Leia, I don't think you're dead inside because you won't make-out with me in public." He furrowed his brow. "You don't hold back in a fight or a mission. Don't hold back period. How's that cold or distant?"

"Right. Because I love the fight." She sounded resigned.

"Yeah you love the fight." He laughed. Looked at her like maybe she was crazy. Of course she loved the fight. They both did. "You pushed me away a long time but that wasn't a lack of emotion. Been in enough fights with you, seen you argue it out in meetings to know you got your fill of emotions."

"So, anger." She sighed. Gave him a half, not very convincing, smile. "How pleasant for everyone."

"What the hell is going on here? Why are you insisting on going down this hole?" He took her chin and forced her to look at him. "Not just anger. You got a powerhouse laugh, especially when you get going. You care an unhealthy amount about other people. And I've seen you cry. Not often but you do."

"Well, you're the only one who sees that part." She didn't turn away and they both knew that was a struggle.

"Not happy seeing you cry but like that I'm here for it. Like that it's me."

Leia nodded. All this talk about crying might actually make her cry so she took another deep breath.

"I don't know if anyone would believe you if you told them you've seen me cry."

"C'mon, Leia." He waved his hand between them, indicating their close proximity. "Anyone gets this close knows you're not the Ice Princess."

He was being gentle with her. Trying to find that medium of being open and listening, taking this moment seriously, and not letting this potential dark mood take over. It was a new skill they were both developing. Being attentive even when he didn't really understand what was wrong.

"And sorry if I ever called you that." She narrowed her eyes as he spoke. "But to be fair, I've only ever called you Ice Princess to your face."

Leia fidgeted a bit, pulled a blanket over her lap, looked like she's trying to get comfortable again but something wasn't quite right.

"It's Pyrtor, isn't it?" It was his turn to narrow his eyes. "He called you distant and cold."

"To be fair, I was rather distant and cold with him." She straightened the blanket on her lap, tucked it beneath her legs. "Even before. If you think I'm carefully compartmentalized now, you should have seen me then."

"He's pissed cos he couldn't control you."

"You can't control me."

"Yeah, but I like that about you."

Her face relaxed into an easy smile. She leaned her head back against the wall and looked at him. "I'm sorry I've been a bit… erratic tonight."

"Yeah, well, this Vader shit and Pyrtor rescue mission—supposed rescue mission—is a lot to take in." He still held her hand, gave it a quick squeeze. "Gotta warn you. Whatever Pyrtor's deal is, probably not going to handle it well."

Leia gave him a hard stare.

"Even if he didn't mean to, he leaked more info than he gave. He made you doubt yourself. Caused problems for you and High Command."

"Thought you were going to say something else."

"Nah. That one was all on you." He winked and this time she did roll her eyes.

"I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this but you are now a General in the New Republic army and need to act accordingly."

"Barely a general. Barely not a rebel. Barely on the books."

"How about a compromise? If Pyrtor is there and he is colluding with the Empire, you can put the cuffs on him."

"I'll take it. But if he says anything, tries to pull any of that you're cold or distant shit, all promises are off."

"You don't need to defend me." She pushed the blanket off and moved to straddle his lap. "There's no comparison between then and now. Nothing that needs to be fixed or rectified."

Her hand caressed his jawline as her lips grazed his.

"I feel safe with you. I feel seen. I didn't expect to feel so open. I didn't know that was even a possibility."

He ran his hand along her shoulder, pushing back the shirt, as he kissed her neck. "I get it."

"Letting go with you, truly letting go, letting myself be vulnerable, makes me feel stronger." She tilted her head back and pressed her hips into his. "I didn't know I would like letting go. That it was something I could crave."

He pulled back to look at her. Raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying sex with me is a life-altering experience?"

"I'm trying to express something important. It's not all about orgasms."

"But it's at least partially about orgasms. Orgasms that I am providing."

"You're annoying. Why do I even bother?"

He laughed and nipped at her neck. She looked irritated but was holding back a smile.

"I get it, Princess." He kissed her nose. "I'm blowing your mind. Understood."

She didn't roll her eyes. She was beyond rolling her eyes. She was beyond sighing. She looked at him with an almost blank expression.

He tried to hide the grin, the smirk, but there was no stopping the laugh. The more she maintained the stony veneer, the wider his smile. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her in closer.

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You sound pretty sure of yourself."

"I'd bet the Falcon on this one."

"Let's put it to the test." She pressed herself against him and he let out a low groan. "Fair warning, though. I will be providing updates on how you're doing."

"All comments and suggesting are welcome." He moved in, nibbled her earlobe. Spoke in a low rumble against her neck. "I need these pants off and your legs spread wide. I want you wet. Hot. Ready. Now."

She was on her back, shirt pulled up so he could lick her nipple as his hand pulled down her leggings and slipped between her thighs. Leia laughed a deep, throaty, guttural laugh. It was almost a purr.

He had an early morning call. Prep his team. Coordinate the schedules, equipment, weapons. Confirm latest intel. Get everyone out in time. Get everyone back in one piece. But until then there was Leia. This bunk. Her body. Her voice murmuring his name. Right now, he had everything. Nothing else existed outside this room.