This is dedicated to Manderz… because you're in NB, know that all Sho needs is a good rape from Kenzan, Judai has a mushroom head, Manjyome has the most feminine legs I've ever seen, and that Centroid Vechroid and Steroids. )
Warning: Everyone is… extremely out of character… for reasons of CRACK.
Perhaps it was just a very messed up dream induced by the extreme amounts of anime he had been exposed to recently… or maybe he was just slowly going insane. But what if he was the sane one and everyone around him was going insane?
It certainly seemed to be the last option, at least in Misawa's eyes (although he had to stop to think for a moment to make sure he was still him). After all, he wasn't the one dressed up in a crazy costume; or at least he didn't think he was. He looked down to see what he was wearing, and realized it was the costume he had adorned during the cosplay duel, yes the Amazoness Pet Tiger suit. It took him a moment to realize that he what exactly he was wearing.
Well, stranger things had happened, he had to admit, but Misawa didn't remember putting this on this morning.
Was it even morning anymore? Where the hell was he anyways?
For lack of better words, he was utterly befuddled. He probably hadn't felt this perplexed since after his duels with Taniya and had tried to drink the sauce (when he had realized he was drinking sauce, he was quite confused as to how he even got it in the first place).
But going back to his tiger suit, Misawa knew that a) someone had convinced him to put it back on or b) he had joined the ranks of the insane. By the insane, he was currently referring to Yuki Judai and Manjyome Jun standing in the distance. They appeared to be dueling each other; however Manjyome was dressed up as Kaibaman and Judai as the Time Wizard. They were yelling obscure things at each other that didn't quite string together correctly to create real sentences. Misawa could swear Judai was yelling something about Manjyome looking very cute in a shitty sort of way… or at least that's what he understood. For all the logic in him, he could not figure out what Judai was attempting to say.
Of course, this didn't help his situation much. They appeared to be standing in a white abyss of… fog. Was it fog? Using a pawed hand he swiped at the thick gas swirling around him. Momentarily he felt like a mime doing a strange dance. Where the thought had come from, he had no clue, but that was entirely beside the point. Now that he had moved a bit more than his head, the substance he decided was "fog" was beginning to clear and… things began to make even less sense. Outlines of shapes began to appear around him and from what he could tell it was something akin to the interior of a Shinto shrine; except at least 100 times bigger.
Misawa sighed, deciding that although going near Manjyome and Judai seemed like a scary idea at the moment, it was the best thing he could think of. Sluggishly he made his way over to the two.
"And now I summon Bakura in attack mode!" Judai shouted dramatically. "Because of his special ability, I get to throw rocks at you!" The brunette began pulling rocks from his pockets and throwing them at Manjyome. None of them hit, but Manjyome certainly made a very dramatic display of pretending they did. Misawa ignored this however and looked at the "monster" Judai had placed on the field. It appeared to be a man of slight build, with white hair and a ghastly blue and white striped shirt. His eyes were large and brown, and he looked like a pleasant fellow. "Also, it allows me to summon Yami no Bakura AKA Zork to the field, but only in defense mode because if I take him out of that he might hurt me," Judai explained as a second white haired man was summoned onto the field. This one had a slightly meaner look about him… and his hair seemed much more untamed and almost bat-like.
"That's very logical of you, dumbass," Manjyome stated in almost awe of his opponents move. Misawa looked up in a bit of confusion. Since when did Manjyome Thunder talk to Judai with "almost awe" in his voice?
"Why thank you, dear," Judai replied cheerfully. Then in a voice quite unlike his own, Judai stated; "I end my turn."
"And so it is mine," Manjyome looked usual serious self for a moment, and then began giggling like an insane schoolgirl. Unless you happened to be Marufuji Ryo or Tenjyoin Fubuki, then it was like one of their fan girls.
"And what amuses you so?" Judai asked, in what one could call a curious voice… only it sounded more like he was trying to murder him with his voice. Manjyome fell over in his fits of giggles, and Judai seemed to be taking this as something that was completely normal. Misawa decided he didn't want to watch this anymore and wanted his friends to stop being more insane than they usually were.
"Stop it!" he sounded more childish then he ever could have wanted to and suppressed a groan. He regretted speaking now… seeing as his two freaks of friends were now staring at him with wide eyes.
"Oh my god," Judai whispered, pure shock in his voice.
"Don't use my name in vain," Manjyome whispered back in the same voice. Of course, by whisper I mean the two of them were doing that large fake whisper… Although, neither Misawa nor myself seem to be able to recall the word for it. Speaking of Misawa, he was slowly shuffling away from the two.
"I can't believe that tiger can talk," Judai stated. Misawa paused. Had he heard that right?
"Judai…" Misawa began. Judai started screaming like… like… well, an amazingly small child.
"IT KNOWS MY NAME!"
"No, shit head, you told it your name," Manjyome said, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, it's obvious that our king has trained it to speak."
"OF COURSE," Judai exclaimed, forgetting to be amazed.
"'Our king'?" Misawa questioned.
There was a collective gasp.
And some other people, specifically Kaiba Seto and Mokuba, Muto Yugi, and Yugi's friends.
And the Marufuji brothers... and Fubuki… and… well, he had no clue who the hell that last guy was, but he was freaky… and who was that other guy with the dinosaur?
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THE KING IS!" the first random guy Misawa didn't know the name of exclaimed.
"No, I don't," Misawa said almost angrily. Why was everyone so loud?
"Well, there's only one way to fix this," Judai and Manjyome, strangely in unison, clapped much the way a stereotypical gay designer would. "Sho!" Judai called at the same time that Manjyome called "Kenzan!"
And forward came the younger Marufuji brother and the guy on the dinosaur. Misawa assumed the dinosaur lad was "Kenzan".
"Yes?" Sho asked, looking much like an eager little puppy.
"You two, take tiger-man--!" Manjyome was interrupted by the other weird guy dancing and singing "nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh TIGER-MAN!" He was given a strange look and Ryo and Fubuki picked him up and threw him to the side. "Anyways, take him to see the King."
"But-but," Kenzan began. "Why?" The only thought that ran through Misawa's head at this point was "Wow, he's whiner than I sounded."
"Because you're a rapist!"
"Raptor."
"RAPIST. NOW SHUT UP AND GO," Manjyome shouted, pointing in a random direction.
Sho and Kenzan quickly grabbed Misawa and ran.
---
It was quite silent as Kenzan and Sho dragged Misawa towards a funny looking castle. "Funny looking" because it was shaped like a tutu.
"So…" Misawa began. "How about this weather?"
"Nawh, we've had worse," Kenzan said.
"Yep!" Sho piped in. "Much worse!"
"Apparently I'm the only sane one here," Misawa thought. Only he was thinking through his mouth, and thus had said it out loud rather than in his head.
"Sanity is over rated," Sho told him mildly. Misawa raised an eyebrow at this.
"Right," was the only response he could think of. "Who are you anyways? And why was Manjyome calling you a rapist?" These questions, of course, were directed at Kenzan.
Kenzan started screaming, for no reason Misawa could tell of.
"HOW COULD YOU DIRECT QUESTIONS AT KENZAN-KUN!" Sho exclaimed dramatically. Both of them had let go of Misawa, and Kenzan was running around like a chicken without it's head, and Sho was chasing him… Misawa assumed to calm him down, but seeing as everyone seemed to be on something, he doubted it.
What was everyone on?
And why hadn't anyone offered him some?
---
After much screaming, running and whacking, somehow Sho and Kenzan managed to bring Misawa to the tutu palace.
'How' you might ask? Well, it was a long complicated process that involved a water buffalo, packing tape, ice cream stands, and several other obscure objects and a game show host.
Perhaps you don't want to know anymore?
Not that it mattered much. What happened next was much more shocking.
Misawa was forced to sit on the cushioned floor of the throne room. And there, sitting on the throne was…
Asuka
Now, Misawa had been confused several times before… but seriously, he was wondering what the hell was going on.
He wanted to know. Although the logical part of his brain insisted there was nothing to understand.
Everyone was on drugs and was being extremely insane…
Asuka didn't look happy.
"WHY DID YOU BRING A TALKING ANIMAL TO ME?" She shouted. Misawa held his hands over his ears, he didn't know she could shout so loudly.
"Mushroom head and Femme legs told us to bring him here," Kenzan whimpered. There was a pause.
"… I see."
"King…?" Sho asked nervously.
"I… am… going to have to do something drastic," she stated, picking up a baseball bat.
Misawa didn't like where this was going.
Neither, apparently, did Sho and Kenzan.
Who was Kenzan anyways? And why was he a rapist?
Asuka picked up a rubber ball the size of a miniature horse.
Oh yeah, this was not headed to a good place.
Misawa prayed for mercy from whatever sadistic god was up there.
She threw the ball up in front of her… and hit it as hard as should could directly at Misawa.
It connected with hit forehead, and strangely enough he fell forwards…
Well that certainly did not work.
-----
Misawa awoke with a start. Vaguely he realized where he was, which was thankfully in his dorm room at his computer. Apparently he had fallen asleep at the keyboard. Tiredly, he stood up and made his way over to his bed and flopped down. In his state of half consciousness he resolved that he was never going to read dumb books again, nor watch anime before he made his way to his room ever again.
