Whoosh! Another chapter! And this one's relatively short (like, half the length of the last chapter)…man!
I've got my finals and the SAT coming up, so I will probably not update as much as I used to. Wahh!
Read on!
Disclaimer: Kishimoto's awesome, yeah! And Naruto belongs to him and him ONLY!
Chapter 9 Epilogue
A wagon jilted along the road. It rose and crashed and swung side to side, rolling on without the slightest concern of exactly how many rocks its wheels have grated over and how many people are pulling it forward. So far, the blue birds that lazily alighted on the wagon found it amusing to watch the big fat cat drag the wagon with its tail.
Hiyari sat on the ledge, watching the way ahead, as Tou thumbed through a stack of paperwork, a frown on his face, and Sakura hunching over Sasuke, one hand on his arm, another denting Kumo, face, and said, very, very slowly, "Do. Not. Do. That."
"Warning taaaakkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn," Kumo moaned as she slumped backward, colliding into Kakashi, who had his nose buried into Icha Icha Violence, or, you could say, stuck to the book by a blotch of Iwagakure blackmarket superglue (with a complete warranty to prove that it sticks).
"Let. Go," Sasuke said, the Uchiha bastard ever present, and glared partially at Sakura, partially at Kumo, and mostly at Itachi.
The Uchiha Akatsuki stared blankly into space. He was obviously very angry about something, but nobody knew exactly what it was all about. There were eggs plastered to his fine black hair, unhealthy-looking quagmire mush stuck to his clothes, a branch of poison ivy wrapped around his throat, and two stretches of chains that looked awfully heavy wrapped tight ALL over him. Smack dab in the middle of his forehead a piece of red jewel glittered. When Kakashi saw Tou glue it to the Uchiha's forehead, his face turned a humorous shade of red. In fact, when all males and females present saw it (except Gai, of course, who has no sense of anatomy AT ALL), their faces went tomato red.
Yep, it had a rather suggestive shape that is almost, well, actually NEVER seen before in shinobi business. As it happens, Tou orders goods like this from the PBME and other associations of Kumogakure Underground all the time, and seems to care less that it resembled something distinctly…uncomfortable to the eye.
What is the function of the jewel? It simply stopped chakra from flowing into Itachi's eyes, which is the only reason why he hasn't yet ripped out Tou's throat for putting that ridiculous article on him and Amaterasu'ed the one who invented this stupid thing, whoever that is (who also happens to be closer than anyone thinks, for she's slumping on Kakashi right now, rubbing her dented face.)
Rasen groaned as Kakashi shouldered Kumo off, and the ANBU Captain fell like a piece of paper onto him. Suiken, sullenly wrapped in bandages from head to toe, could only make little noises to demand for his thirst (which has been ignored for the past FIVE HOURS).
Yep. The Konoha shinobi returning from a glorious HLKIA mission were really happy. Fate just hate to let people like Rasen and Suiken die, because the hooded, creepy, floating, dead-looking boney old men hovering above the model of the world had plans.
Now if only they could drop a hint into Kakashi's head to un-stick his nose.
"Don't you think that this is kind of stupid?" asked Kumo, marching Itachi right through the Konoha gates. "I mean, nobody's even bothering with us!"
"Really dobe?" scoffed Sasuke, who had really wanted to volunteer steering Itachi through until Kakashi nicely pointed out that Itachi, in his current…dysfunctional state…would probably get killed before he reaches the gate.
"Oh for goodness sakes!" Sakura glared at the two Uchihas (Sasuke and Kumo). "Stop acting like little kids! Shinobis shouldn't care about glorifications and, and, and make childish remarks like that," she finished lamely, not really wanting to offend Sasuke who, after all, is still her crush.
"I'm not a shinobi," Kumo pointed out (and to the horror of general society, she spoke the dreaded words spoken by every female in movies where people tell them that "No man can cross this bridge" or "No man can survive these woods"…whereas the females just walk through and come out alright). Now, Kumo pointed out: "I'm a kunoichi."
Itachi twitched.
Sasuke glared. "You know you just used a really stupid pun, right?"
Kumo opened her mouth, and shut it as Gai struck a dramatic pose, teeth sparkling, and punched the air. "ALRIGHT! LAST TO THE HOKAGE TOWER IS A HARD BOILED EGG!" And he whirled away.
Slowly, Rasen turned to Kumo, his face going through a fast transition of shock to understanding to great confusion. "Is he always like this?"
"Always," replied Kumo.
Hiyari shuddered. "I want to be a shinobi, but I don't wanna be a shinobi like him."
"Neither would I…" mumbled Suiken, carried on Kakashi's back like a sack of jellybeans. "And if you would please be more gentle, thank you very much…" The spirit of grumpiness had descended upon the company, mainly because for the past two days Tou had been filling their heads with scientific mantras about quantum physics and the laws of gravity, whereas all his cat did was occasionally mistake Suiken for a very big, white rat. You can imagine that, yeah?
As one, the group faced the Hokage Tower, very slowly, and eventually Kotetsu and Izumo walked up, took one look at Uchiha Itachi in egg, mush, poison ivy, chains, the suggestive jewel, and decided not to say anything other than: "Errrrr…"
"Right!" grinned Kumo cheerfully, and gave Itachi one mighty shove.
The Konoha-Kumogakure team walked through the gates just like that.
"Errrrr…" said Naruto, blinking at Itachi, eyes fastened in frightful rigidity to the red jewel.
After the YOU WHAT! echoes faded away, Kumo thumped Naruto on the head and stuffed a bill into his hands. "Buy yourself more ramen," she said, "and this is a dream." Then she shoved Itachi away from Ichiraku and joined the glowering Konoha shinobis.
Sasuke's glare, which had been on his face for the last sixteen hours, intensified. "I would have preferred it that you didn't tell HIM, of all people."
"I…don't see what's wrong with that," Sakura muttered, shooting worried glances from one Uchiha to another to another.
"It's against protocol," spoke Tou, "Konoha Shinobi Rules Volume 8, Chapter 45, page 3961, line 4: all captured nikunin must remain secret until approval by Hokage to release information. Punishment upon violation of procedure. For the rules of punishments, please see Konoha Shinobi Rules Volume 98, Chapter 72."
People stared. As one man (with woman implied), the Konoha shinobis thought, How the hell did he learn about OUR rules!
As one man (woman implied), the rest of the people (excluding the fat cat), thought, I really don't like this guy, cause he might be the death of me. I just know it. When there's someone who sticks to the rules ALL THE TIME and isn't some humble, humorous guy, then I am dead meat. Of course, Rasen merely thought, This is the one part about Tou-kun that I DON'T miss.
Itachi just stared.
From the ramen stall, Naruto made attempts get up, but finally found that, after just one bowl of ramen, he couldn't! What the – And as his face transformed into a myriad of interesting colors, Sakura sighed.
Painfully, the Konoha-Kumogakure team and missingnin and cat and Tou and Rasen and Hiyari and Suiken slung over Kakashi's shoulder marched on.
Black Ryoki #3 glared murderously at the feudal lord of Thunder Country. In fact, the feudal lord would be in itty bitty pieces everywhere by now if Reibane hadn't kindly taken away BR #3's weapons.
"You can't help it," said Reibane, "the princess is getting married to Lord Onawa." Ryoki-san and I have worked SOOOOOO hard for this!
"But I fucking like her!" whined BR #3.
"Errr…there's a LOT of women in the world, you know." And Reibane added quickly, just in case, "a LOOOT of girls, too." It doesn't look like THIS one's going to the Society of Misbegotten Lab Experiments…oh well.
"I don't give a damn," answered BR #3, not taking his eyes off the feudal lord who fidgeted nervously under the sheer tension in the room.
Sighing, Reibane put his arm around BR #3. "I'm really sorry about this," he said, "don't blame me. Blame Kumo-chan for cloning Ryoki." And he broke Black Ryoki #3's neck.
"I…umm…." Kumo welted under Tsunade's glare and the wrinkly look that two other pairs of eyes sent her. Plus there was a mummy man staring at her with one eye. The combined effects were quite scary, for even someone like Kumo. "Alright."
"So it's agreed."
"So it is."
"Hai," Kakashi confirmed.
"You are dismissed, then."
"Hai," complied Kumo.
The wrinkled eyes deepened their stare.
"Errr…yes?"
"You can let go of the Uchiha now," Tsunade said, her tone unreadable.
"Well…" Kumo sweated. "You aren't going to kill him…right?"
Five minutes later, the door to the conference room opened, and Kakashi and Kumo were tossed out into the hall.
Sakura had taken Rasen, Hiyari, and Suiken to the hospital with the company of Jikiri Tou, which left Sasuke to glance up in irritation, sitting alone on the bench outside the conference room.
"Well?" Kumo gasped indignantly at the glaring Uchiha.
"It's not like there was anything else I could do! They are probably going to kill him!"
"Hn."
"Yeah."
"Not without a trial first," interjected Kakashi.
Sasuke sat in sullen silence. Itachi will be executed, for sure.
He deserved it.
The door to the conference room opened. Four ANBU marched Itachi down the hall, and Shizune peeked out. "Sasuke-san?"
Nodding, Sasuke stood up and entered.
Tsunade, the village elders, and another man were trenched heavily in conversation, yet as Sasuke entered, a quietness fell, and the Godaime's gaze returned to Sasuke. "I don't like wasting my time," she began, "so I will get straight to it. Uchiha Sasuke, Kakashi has reported of your use of Orochimaru's cursed seal during your fight with Uchiha Itachi. You disobeyed his direct command to act as a team and attacked Itachi on your own. In activating the cursed seal you also put your own teammates in the line of danger. Uchiha Sasuke – "
"Hai."
The Godaime leaned forward, eyes promising pain.
"Will you abandon Konoha once more?"
Sasuke looked, really looked into the Godaime's eyes, for the first time since he entered the room. Will I abandon Konoha once more? It was a question that plagued his mind throughout the mission. But now, in this room, he was more ready than ever to answer.
"I will stay."
The elders nodded. The mummy-man gave him a calculating gaze, and Tsunade's face broke into a small smile. "No?"
"No," sighed Sasuke, "I won't abandon Konoha again."
Because I am not alone.
"ARGH!"
The door crashed open, Kumo landed in a heap on the floor.
"Feh," Sasuke smirked at the look of utter rage on Tsunade's face, "dobe."
Uchihas are bastards, but at least Uchihas look out for one another!
"Hai." Sasuke murmured, "Uchihas look out for one another." He cleared his throat. "Tsunade-sama, I have a request…"
A shadow snuck into the Hokage tower. It wheedled up the stairs and engaged its way into the Godaime's office, where the Hokage, one elbow on the table, drowned down another round of alcohol.
Her eyes snapped open at the shadow's approach. One fist tightened. "Nani? Kumo, don't you have somewhere else that you could be at? My office is not the place for pranks."
Sheepishly, the shadow detached itself from the wall, and Uchiha Shingen Kumo scratched her head as a grin found its way to her face. "Ah, Godaime-sama."
Tsunade's eyes snapped open. Kumo almost never address people by "sama" or the like…unless she wants something…
A knock sounded on the door.
"Enter."
Uchiha Sasuke walked hesitantly into the room, halting as his eyes landed on Kumo. "Dobe?"
"Oy…"
For a moment the two Uchihas stared at one another. "You first," said Kumo.
"Tch," Sasuke snorted, stepping back to indicate that he would rather talk after her.
Tsunade massaged her forehead. "You two. Just TALK."
Another exchange of stares, and then Kumo spoke up. "Can you pardon Uchiha Itachi?"
"WHAT!" screamed two voices in the room.
Sasuke glared sourly at Kumo. "What the hell!"
Sighing, Tsunade put down her sake bottle. "Sasuke asked me the same thing this morning." She gave both a look. "Why?"
"He's…one of the three last Uchiha…errrggghh…it might feel a bit lonely without him, ya know," Kumo conceded sheepishly. And then…"AHA!" Kumo shouted, pointing a finger at the reddening Sasuke. "So you asked her, too…eh! And why are you so against it when I ask her! Maybe she'd agree, huh?"
"I won't," Tsunade dropped the words stonily.
The two Uchihas gulped.
The Godaime sighed. "You should understand. Itachi is an S-class criminal, an Akatsuki. He MASSACRED the entire Uchiha clan. He has killed countless others. Would anyone pardon him? Even if I do, the ninja world will heave into an uproar. There is no way that Uchiha Itachi can stay in Konoha as a civilian, even under house arrest. He is too dangerous for that."
A third exchange of glances, and Kumo leaned forward. "What if…Godaime-sama…what if I have a proposal that you can not refuse?"
It was odd, to say the least.
The villagers stopped whatever they were doing as a procession of Kumogakure shinobis marched through the Konoha gates. In the lead, Uchiha Shingen Kumo shot grins everywhere.
Never in the villagers' lives (except during the war), did they see such a huge procession of Thunder Country shinobis traveling leisurely into Hidden Leaf. And here they were.
But not all of them were shinobis. Trailing near the rear were an immense retinue of cloaked figures wearing colorful badges that said things like BIAS and PBME and The Society of Wine Craft (which, by the by, carried over thirty crates of heavy liquor toward the Hokage Tower).
Also with the procession was the Raikage, who, rather donning the tradition, somber costume of all kages, dressed up in normal shinobi attires with a fat cat perched on his shoulder (which, as some closer standbys observed, seemed to be depressing his shoulder at a great angle).
Approximately seven hours later, a group of Konoha shinobis took off toward Kumogakure, along with some willing entrepreneurs and a few beggars and muggers and eavesdroppers and nearly Naruto (who really wanted to join the PBME if Sakura didn't punch his head into his neck).
And, in a lonesome little spot on Konoha street left empty by the previous enterprise, Rasen stood pondering with Hiyari and Suiken by his side. At a holler down the streets he turned his head and waved toward Kumo. The Uchiha had at her hands another Uchiha, the infamous missing nin Itachi.
"Well…" Rasen said conversationally, "do you think this spot is good?"
"I will be the best," said Hiyari and Kumo confidently at the same time.
"With a waiter, of course," murmured Rasen, shooting an amused glance toward Uchiha Itachi, whose eyes twitched madly as the sense of wrongness pervaded his mind.
Suiken circled the Uchiha warily, eyeing him up and down. "Definitely waiter material," he said, "my uncle ran one of the biggest restaurants in Kirigakure, I would know. Shinobis make excellent waiters when you train them to do so."
With a laugh Rasen ruffled Suiken's hair. "Then I guess you are in charge of that."
"And I will be the Chair of Finances, of course!" said Kumo enthusiastically.
"I will help at the kitchen," Hiyari spoke, glaring at Kumo.
"Ahh..." Rasen nodded, smiling.
END
Author's Note:
Wwheeee! "From Thunder to Leaf" is finished! And, if you really want to know, there will probably be a sequel, since there are some ends in here that I haven't wrapped up yet.
Any questions? Sorry I had to torture Itachi with all those..urr…accessories.
See ya!
Raofee
