Note: Helllooo! Sorry, but I'm bored and it's about half past twelve at night, so what the hell. I just watched Kill Bill volume two, though I think volume one is better. There's so much more blood! Though in 2 she does rip Elle's eye out, hmm… Oh, and isn't the five point palm exploding heart technique so cool? Pai Mai is so cool too! Ahem, think I'll start writing now afore I fall asleep at the computer. Anyhoozle…

Chapter 6

"Wait, Jon, why did you just call Alana 'Lanna'?" Raoul asked suspiciously.

"I don't know Raouly-Poo!" Jon replied. Raoul shook his head.

"Guys, can we just all shut up and get this over with?" Alanna asked. She pushed Raoul over to the massive tub of Magic Scrubby Bubbles TM.

"Eww, I'm soaked now!" Raoul moaned.

"Shut it, pansy!" Alanna said.

"Hmph," Raoul retorted, folding his arms.

"Scrub! Now!" Alanna ordered.

"Ahem, I'm in this story too!" Jon grumbled.

"Yes, we know Jon. Just stick to the script already! I'm trying to watch LOTR! If you don't shut up and finish this thing I'll miss it!" I complained.

"Hey, what's LOTR?" they asked in unison, staring at me with a dazed/confused look on their faces. Alanna then turned back to scrubbing Raoul, who screamed like a sissy.

"Uh, don't call me sissy, sissy!" Raoul told me with a glare.

"Stop COPYING me, pansy!" Jon shrieked.

"Boys? BOYS! SHUT UP!" I yelled. Jon raised his eyebrows at me.

"You shout loud!" he told me.

"I know," I replied.

"No you didn't!" I said, glaring. "Don't leave. Mr Frodo! It's me Sam!"

"Who's Sam? Who's Frodo?" Raoul asked.

"Never mind and shut up!" I said.

"No, this is a fun conversation!" they protested.

"Fine! But not much longer. Give me the ring, Sam. Give me the ring."

"Who IS this Sam?" Alanna asked curiously.

"He's from LOTR."

"Where's LOTR? Is it in Tusaine?" Jon asked.

"No! It's the name of a film…uh, a book I mean."

"Oh. What are films?" Raoul asked.

"They aren't invented yet, Raouly-Poo," I said, smiling as though I was a genius. Because I was.

"Sam and Frodo are sooo gay. Anyway…"

"What's gay?" Jon asked. "Why are they happy? I'm sure lots of people are gay…"

"Oh be quiet you uneducated royal person. Wait a second, I'm insulting the heir to the Tortallan throne here…"

"Yes, you are!" Jon agreed, nodding furiously.

"Wait, I'm a goddess. So I'm more powerful than you. So HA!" I said, sticking out my tongue at him. Jon grumbled something about egotistical goddesses.

"You do realise that I am writing to you to make this longer?" I asked them all.

"Yes," they said in unison.

"I think all the hobbits are gay. Pippin, Merry, Sam and Frodo are sooo gay,"

"Yes, but WHY are these people so happy?" Jon asked.

"Ugh," I grumbled. "Gay means, let me see… What Alex of Tirragen is,"

"Ohhh, a good fencer? So, like, Alan is, like, gay?" Jon asked.

"No, you dimwit! Oh, I give up, you retarded…"

"Hey, stop calling me…whatever that word was. What does the word stupid mean?" he asked.

"It means Jonathan of Conte. Now shut up!"

"What does shut up mean?"

"It MEANS close your mouth!" I said, nearing the end of my patience- which, for your information, is about I millimetre long.

"Wow, this is nearly three pages long!" I said. "I've never written three pages before…"

"Meh. Maybe we should, like, carry on with the plot now?" Raoul asked.

"Good idea," I said. "But that's next chapter, bye!"

They all groaned. This was going to be a long wait for Raoul in the Magic Scrubby Bubbles TM!