Moving on with this chapter. Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts but please note, all guest reviews will be removed.
xii
The wedding was a happy event. Delphine made a beautiful bride and Ross was a nervous groom in a newly-bought, ill-fitting suit, and although I'd heard of people crying with happiness, I'd never known anyone who did except Dell. She exchanged her vows with tears wetting her cheeks and afterwards, as we toasted the happy couple, her whole face glowed with joy while her eyes brimmed with what Hop Sing called, "Happy tears." Afterwards, when Dell and I danced, she confided, "Adam, I never thought I'd see this day. I've waited so long to marry Ross, so long, that it's hard for me to believe it's real."
"It's real," I said, chuckling. "It's Ross who's been thrown for a loop, dropping the ring, flubbing up his vows and having to say them again—that boy's a mess. But he's happy. And I'm happy for both of you."
Dell looked to where Ross, with a wide grin, stood at the punch bowl accepting congratulations on his new bride and seeing who was also there, probably discussing ranching. "He is happy, isn't he?" Dell asked.
"Yes," I said, and Delphine smiled and then thanked me. I asked what for, and she said for being Ross' friend, his only true friend. And hers.
Ross and Delphine stayed for about two hours and they left in one of our buggies. Hoss and Joe and the other young men had tied old shoes, both human and horse, and strung clattering tin cans to the back. And despite Hop Sing's complaint it was waste of food, we tossed rice as the couple raced to the buggy. The wedding guests stayed longer, a few overstaying their welcome until finally, about midnight, the last guest rode off, tipsy from the spiked punch and champagne toasts and filled with free food.
The whole shindig had been a matter of great planning and I had tried my best to avoid any of it. Although the wedding ceremony and dancing along with the wedding cake baked by Hop Sing's number 3 cousin were inside with the musicians, the yard had been filled with trestle tables and make-shift tables of wide planks balanced on barrels and covered with all our tablecloths and then bed sheets. Every chair from inside the house and the bunkhouse had been dragged outside along with benches and just about anything else a person could sit on. But it worked out as the ranch hands, ours as well as Orson and Nate who were going to bunk down at the Ponderosa that night, took their plates and sat on the bunkhouse steps or the inside bunks to eat, making sure they had constant refills from one of the beer kegs.
I was surprised there were so many people in attendance but over the years, Delphine had been diligent attending church and helped on committees and wielding her needle at quilting bees where it seems women discuss things kept from men. I imagine Delphine had bemoaned her unmarried status many times, received endless advice from all the other sympathetic women who then felt as if they had a part in promoting the nuptials. And while working at the Gillis' store, she made friends of the regular customers passing the time pleasantly while ringing up a sale. Despite Mrs. Gillis not being overly fond of the pretty young clerk since her husband definitely was, Mrs. Gillis had no issues filling her plate many times over. It seemed she also liked to knock down a few tall glasses of beer. But the biggest problem was seating her as her wide hips took up the space to seat three people. As for Ross, the ranch hands and me and my family, well, we were there for him. Made me wonder who would come to see me married as I wasn't sure what true friends I had anymore.
There had been talk about riding up the mountain and holding a shivaree, but fortunately, the plotters were either uncomfortably full or too damn drunk to make or even endure the pounding and clanging that would be required, so Ross and Delphine had a peaceful wedding night in each other's arms. I was truly happy for them and in a way, I felt discharged from duty so I could turn my attention back to my life.
The passing days between my incident with the Indian woman and the sweat lodge were anxious ones for me. With each sunrise I doubted myself and my memory, more and more as her lovely face with her large doe eyes faded. I know what intense heat can do, how it can make a man delirious and see things that aren't there. Or are those things really there but a man can only see them when he's close to passing to the other side? Many nights afterward, I'd wake up and wonder if the woman had been real. I had touched her, felt her hand, seen her face, desired her…but that was crazy. Some naked Indian woman didn't walk out of the trees and come to me. Who was I to be chosen for what I felt was her desire to couple, to lead me away from my life and into hers? It made more sense that she wanted to lead me into the darkness of the trees where some brave waited to slit my throat and slice off my scalp to hang from a war lance. No elk men appeared again in the Ponderosa yard nor did gigantic wolves devour any steers or men. Our herd was plagued by the usual natural enemies, wolf packs, pumas, bears and disease.
Eventually, I thought less and less about the cave and the petroglyphs as I became more involved in running the Ponderosa and over time, was distracted by different and varied women. Some women I was drawn to were not the type one married and others would have made wonderful, loving wives, but for someone else, not me, much to my father's anguish as he longed for a grandchild. As for Ross and Delphine, once they had settled in, I would stop by to see them and accept Delphine's invitation to dinner. Ross and I would discuss cattle prices and new ways to keep cattle healthy. Water was a big issue on Ross' land and he showed me his plans for digging a new well, asking for suggestions which I gladly gave. Delphine would tease us about not being interested in anything but animals and land, but it was obvious she adored Ross, still fussed over him and that Ross liked the attention. They truly seemed happy together and Ross quickly turned the Walking M into a profitable working ranch, breeding hardy cattle that called in high prices and many ranchers paid the stud fee for use of his bull or one purchased one of its offspring. But life is a funny old dog and turns on a man, baring its fangs. If only Ross had more experience, he wouldn't have lost almost half his herd to fog fever.
It was a dry, miserable summer and the lower pastures were grazed-out. Taking hay out to the cattle almost broke us. My father and I sold off as many head as we could, taking a massive loss, and we spent hours poring over the books, watching our profits diminish. It was all there on paper and my father swore that soon, he'd have to start selling off land just to stay in the black. Hoss and I even had to take the buckboard to Idaho to buy hay. And then there was the water. We have many lakes on the Ponderosa, some spring-fed but most fed with creeks that surged with winter melt but those had long-dried up. But the receding lakes was a problem on its own. Some of the animals would wander to them and walk out on the lake bottom but the thick muck in some places would often founder the cattle which became stuck up to their knees and they would struggle, becoming more and more deeply mired. Then, once darkness fell, the wolves, being lighter than cattle, would attack the trapped steer, tearing at them, dragging away what they could and all we'd find is parts of the dead animal
But Ross, once his lower pastures were nothing but dirt and dead grass, drove his herds up to Goose Creek where the grass was thicker, lusher, but after a day or two, the cattle began to die, bellowing and moaning. Most of his steers, the cows, the calves, even his prized bull succumbed to fog fever and within two weeks, Ross' herd was decimated.
Ross showed up at the Ponderosa one morning, shattered.
"Ross, what happened?" He had dismounted and looked at me, tears in his eyes. "Is it Delphine?"
"No," he said, running a hand over his face. "I lost just about everything, Adam. Everything. All my cattle, my stud bull, my young calves…all of them. Dead. They all died and I...there was nothing I could do to stop it."
"Ross…I…come sit down." We walked to the porch and Ross dropped into one of the porch chairs. My father stepped out on the porch and when he saw Ross, he knew immediately something was wrong and went back in for a bottle of good whiskey and glasses.
Ross broke down as he told us what he had done and couldn't understand why almost all his cattle had died. My father and I looked at each other over Ross' bowed head. We knew why and with great sensitivity, my father explained about fog fever or what some ranchers called lung fever. He said that it was a certainty all the ranchers in the whole Nevada Territory had lost cattle due to the drought or wolves or whatever came down from the mountains hungry for fresh meat, and my father said he would help Ross recover; we had a few steers we could spare. But Ross declined, said he had to stand on his own and had some money put aside to start a new herd. And now that he understood about fog fever, well, he wouldn't let it happen again.
But just two years later, black leg struck and the animals who had contracted it had to be shot, it was so contagious. Then they had to be burned. The stink of the rotting flesh would lead us to either a dead animal or one close to death and the smoke from burning beef hung over the land. I kept meaning to go see Ross, ask him how he was managing but I found it difficult to get away. My father needed me on the ranch and the Marquettes lived quite a distance.
One problem with living such a distance from town was that Delphine couldn't prod Ross into attending church regularly. He said waking up that early to ride for over an hour just to get a far as the Ponderosa robbed him of too much sleep. But he often did go, sitting silently beside Dell during services. But every so often, Dell would drive their buckboard to the Ponderosa and ride to church with my family and other times, Ross would bring her and come pick her up, occasionally staying for a light dinner. But one Sunday, after five years of married life, Delphine didn't show either at the Ponderosa or at church and then another two Sundays went by without her. My father mentioned it but I gave it no more thought, only noting that I needed to ride up and see them soon; it had been a long time since I had talked to Ross.
It was a cold morning and I was riding into town to see Sheriff Coffee; in bringing down steer from the upper pastures, our count was off; too many cattle were missing from our herd and may have been rustled. I met Dr, Martin going the opposite way on the road. None of us were in need of his doctoring so when he stopped his buggy, my assumption was he just wanted to pass a few minutes in pleasant conversation. "Morning, Paul" I said. "What are you doing out this way?"
"Checking on Mrs. Marquette."
"Why? What's wrong?" My heart dropped; I should have checked after she hadn't shown for church but she was a married woman, I told myself. Delphine wasn't my responsibility and yet the mantle of guilt was heavy.
"She lost a child a few weeks ago. Poor thing, no mother to help her, no one nearby, but at least she wasn't far along. But she's taken it hard and not getting on as well as I'd like. Well, it's a long way and I better get on. Give my regards to your father, will you, Adam?"
"Of course." After Dr. Martin rode off, I paused, holding my horse back. He tossed his head and even turned a circle wondering, I'm sure, why we were in the middle of the dirt road on a chilly day. "Let's go, boy," I said, turning his head back toward town. I'd visit the Marquette's tomorrow, I told myself but actually, it wasn't until almost a week later and armed with one of Hop Sing's applesauce cakes, that I visited.
As I approached the house, I noticed the entryway sign connecting the white fence was changed. It no longer bore a Walking M design but was now the Silver Dollar with the $ sign indicating the brand and on horseback, I had to duck my head. Delphine was sitting on their porch, a heavy shawl wrapped about her shoulders, and upon seeing me enter, she stood, smiling. She was so thin and pale that even if I had no idea about the miscarriage, I would know something was wrong.
"Hello, Delphine," I said, swinging down from Scout and tying him off.
"Oh, Adam! It's good to see you." She approached me, arms out and I embraced her, kissing her cold cheek. It reminded me of kissing a corpse at a wake but I pushed the thought from my mind.
"I know it's been a while; I've been derelict, a poor friend, but here," I said, handing her the box I held by the twine. "From Hop Sing's kitchen but really from all of us. Applesauce cake."
"Oh, thank you, Adam. And thank Hop Sing for me. Come in. I'll put on some coffee and we'll have a slice."
We walked through the house to the kitchen and I noted again how much Delphine had added to the house, the beautiful carpets and wallpaper, the heavy brocade drapes and polished mahogany furniture that Ross often grumbled about having to order from back east or San Francisco. The kitchen was warm and friendly, bright flowered curtains on the window that faced the east. Delphine quickly went about grinding coffee beans and filling the coffee pot while I pulled off my gloves and trail coat, hanging it on the back of the chair and placing my hat on the table. She chatted away about how well the herd was doing, how Ross had already secured a buyer, a rancher in Idaho for half the herd of 300 steer. Ross was also looking into buying more acreage but she didn't think it was a good idea.
"What do you think, Adam?' Delphine asked as she put out two small plates and cups and saucers. "Do you think Ross should buy more land?"
"I really don't know, Dell. It depends on how the finances stand. So, Ross already has 300 head. That's good."
"Yes," she said smiling wanly. "He said, he received money from back east."
"I noticed he's changed his brand." I watched her carefully as she was avoiding looking at me, had actually turned her back and gone to the stove to check the coffee.
"Ross said the old brand was bad luck, that calling it the Silver Dollar ranch was better since money draws money." She pulled a knife and came to the table where the cake sat.
"I really came out to see you, Delphine." She stopped slicing the cake while the coffee boiled, filling the air with that wonderful smell coffee has.
"Oh?" Dell stood awkwardly and then turned back to the stove and picking up a dishtowel, pulled the coffee pot off the stove and placed it on a metal trivet on the table after pouring us some. Then she sat, looking straight at me. "Why, Adam? Why did you really come out to see us, to see me?"
"I heard, well, I ran into Dr. Martin and he told me about your…" I didn't know how to talk about such things. "I'm sorry you lost the child." I stared into the coffee cup and then sipped some. It was piping hot and a few grains had escaped the spout's strainer and hadn't yet settled on the cup's bottom.
"Yes, well…thank you, Adam. I'd rather not talk about it though, if that's all right?"
"Of course," I said, actually relieved since I didn't want to discuss it either. I began to eat my cake but a cloud hung over us and neither of us said anything. "When did Ross change the brand?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.
"Oh, that…about three months ago." Delphine offered a weak smile. "It costs a bit to register the new brand but Ross insisted it would change his luck. He'd built a small sweat lodge and when he came out, he said…it sounds foolish." She flushed.
"What, Delphine?" My blood began to thud in my ears.
"It's…he said the spirits told him to change the brand, change the name of the ranch. I'm surprised they didn't tell him to get rid of me! But Adam, to listen to spirits—that's crazy."
I paused. Was it crazy? "There are people who claim angels or God speaks to them so it's not that unusual for…." I stopped.
"And that's crazy too, isn't it, Adam?" Delphine gripped her coffee cup. "God doesn't come and whisper in your ear!"
I chuckled. "I hope not and if he does, I hope He doesn't whisper to me because he'd more than likely want me to do something I'd rather not, like change the world in some way."
Delphine laughed at that but then she became serious again. "But, Adam. Ross says that not only do the spirits speak to him, they appear to him. He goes out to that cave and communes with all sorts of…well, I think they're demons!"
"Delphine, perhaps we shouldn't judge Ross because he believes in his tribe's customs and ways, the things his mother and, well, others have taught him." I didn't know if Delphine knew about Chogan. "And if he believes spirits speak to him, then who are we to say otherwise?"
"His wife and best friend, that's who! Adam, you need to talk to him, bring him around. Since we lost all the cattle that summer and again this past year, well, he became desperate. Orson and Nate moved on and he's hired on two men I don't like or trust. And that's when he changed, after he lost just about everything. Sometimes I don't even recognize him. And…."
She stopped talking, as if she was afraid. "What is it, Dell?"
"Adam, I…there's something I've wanted to…I've thought for a long time of riding alone to the Ponderosa to speak to you but then, well…things just weren't ideal." She bit her lip and was obviously anxious, perhaps even fearful.
"What, Delphine? What is it?"
"You'll think I'm crazy. But one night when he went outside, I followed him. He went out to that cave and lit a fire and sat there, making some sort of keening sound. And…well, he's so thin and lanky anyway but a cloud of sorts, maybe it was smoke, surrounded him and it seemed like something possessed him, like he breathed it in. His arms grew longer and he stood up, stooping over and…he changed his shape and his eyes...he was more like one of those carvings on that rock wall than a man."
I knew Delphine wasn't lying but yet I couldn't believe such a thing as Ross transforming in an otherworldly creature, a shapeshifter or anything else. Ross was a man and a man stayed that way. "Dell, have some of your coffee and cake. We'll talk but I wish you'd eat."
She chuckled. "You and Dr. Martin. He's pushing me to eat more, to get my strength back if I want to carry a child to full term but I don't think Ross'll ever believe..." She didn't finish her sentence, just took a bite of the applesauce cake. "It's very good. Send Hop Sing my compliments."
"I will." I hoped that was the last I would hear about Lakota spirits and beliefs, good or bad. We ate our cake and I had three cups of coffee. I finished and sat back. "That was good coffee, Delphine, but I better head back. Sorry I didn't get to see Ross."
Then we heard the door open and Ross slowly walked into the kitchen. He didn't smile when he saw me.
"What are you doing here, Adam?"
"Thought I'd come pay a visit. Been a long time and that's my fault." Ross looked at Dell but she said nothing. "Brought one of Hop Sing's cakes. He still claims you're too skinny, wanted me to get you to eat some."
"And that's why you came? To bring us cake?"
"And to see you and Delphine, yes."
Delphine stood up. "Ross, why don't you wash your hands and I'll put on more coffee. Then you and Adam can talk about ranch stuff while you have some cake." She picked up the coffee pot and walked back to the sink, pumping more water and rinsing the pot and filling it back up. "I've been telling Adam why you changed the name of the ranch to change your luck."
Ross seemed to relax then and said, "A piece of that cake might just hit the spot, a little something before lunch." He smiled then, that same big grin that exposed his white teeth. "Good to see you here, Adam. Really good."
