Yay! The fourth chappy is finally here! I really didn't like this one, and I think I'm starting to hit a humor dry spell. I need you people! Send me your ideas! I need them! And the reviews... they help too! If you wanna laugh more, review!
Anyway… the fourth Wolf's Rain DVD comes out today, to go with the fourth chapter. Ugh I have problems. But who cares because I'm going to BEST BUY!!! I totally am in love with that store…! (Yes, I am fully aware that I have… problems.)
EPISODE 4: Gundams in the Outfield
OPENING
CONTE: Dude, I am like, so 80's.
KIBA: Dude.
(we actually don't see OUR HEROS, but we do SEE SNOW)
AUDIENCE: It's snowing!
(finally, we see OUR HEROS. First they RUN, then they TROT, then they WALK, then they DIE! Actually just kidding not yet. Eventually, it SNOWS AGAIN, and OUR HEROS take shelter in a CAVE)
TOBOE: I'm so hungry!
HIGE: I feel you man. It's been like, three hours!
TOBOE: Ugh, that's so terrible!
HIGE: Sing it to me sista!
TSUME: Shut up youngins, you're doing my head in!
KIBA: You know, I've been a full DAY without food. Thanks to moonlight. I LOOOOVE moonlight! (giggle snort)
TOBOE: That's insane. I was seriously starting to question your humanity, but now I fully know you are not normal.
KIBA: Of course you were questioning my humanity! I'm a wolf dammit!
AUDIENCE MEMBER: (chewing LOUDLY on POPCORN) What the fuck? Wolves?! Dammit, I want my money back! (he LEAVES)
TSUME: Well anyways, we could… always give each other MAKEOVERS! (FANGIRL SQUEAL) Omigosh, Toboe, I'm like, totally doing your hair! (giggle snort laughter blink blush giggle)
TOBOE: Wait a second…! Why not Kiba?
TSUME: Because even this early in the series, he's been deemed far too hot, sexy or adorable by the female viewers. By violating his looks, I would upset the female audience. Not good for the money making business! Money faux pas, like totally!
KIBA: (stunned) Woah.
HIGE: I need food. (HIGE sets out on a JOURNEY OF DISCOVERY)
TOBOE: Crack team, coach.
KIBA: No dip.
(in the OUTFIELD)
(our HEROS (cough hrm) come to a giant, old MOBILE SUIT)
TSUME: You're not seriously going to eat that mobile suit?
KIBA: I need my daily percent value of iron. (bites through METAL)
TOBOE: Not as tough as those hamburgers Granny used to give me.
TSUME: I'm not risking braces. (walks AWAY)
TOBOE: Tsume, get your hot ass back here.
KIBA: Toboe's in looooooove.
TOBOE: I need you Tsume, don't go!
TSUME: You're too emotional. Leave me.
TOBOE: Fine, don't save my ass later on. Loser. (TOBOE still follows TSUME)
(in the WASTED OUTFIELDS)
OUTFIELDS: We are totally wasted.
TOBOE: Ts-ts-ts-tsume! (TOBOE steps on a CLICKY BUTTON THING) What the fuck?
AUDIENCE: Oh shit… Hey that's a land mine kid you're gonna blow up!!!
(ALAS, TOBOE does not BLOW UP)
TOBOE: Jammin'… but something tells me that clicky button thingy is going to endanger my life! Save me, Tsume!
TSUME: Dammit! I was playing kick the can, and actually having fun! Fine, I'll just pretend to save you. (he DOES)
(in a FANCY SHMANCY RESTURANTE)
CHER: I'm taking a vacation.
HUBB: Where to?
CHER: Paradise, no shit. (eye roll snort sigh)
(silence silence)
HUBB: I think I saw a few dogs the other day.
CHER: That's enough Hubb! Don't talk to me about those… animals…
HUBB: What the hell? You're not even allergic!
CHER: I'm allergic to you, though. (she LEAVES)
HUBB: Nooo Cher! You forgot to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight! Waah!!
CHER: Suck it up, freshman.
(on what seems to be a HIGHWAY)
TSUME: Nyyyaaaar! Vroom vroom! Zoom zoom! Whoosh! Cackle cackle rarr!! (he PROCEEDS to make ODD CAR NOISES)
TOBOE: Shut up! You're wasting your breath! We have an evil ROBO-MAN on our tail!
ROBO-MAN: I'm coming for yoooooou! Nyarharharhar!!!!
(our favorite WOLVIES come to a BIG ASS DROP OFF)
TOBOE: We're going to have to jump!
TSUME: NEVER!
ROBO-MAN: Nyarharharhar!!! BOOT!!! (ROBO-MAN PUNTS our favorite WOLFIES)
TSUME: Wheee! (he LANDS, and starts to BLEED) Ow! My legs! My legs!
TOBOE: Shut up, fool!
ROBO-MAN: You can run and hide, my pretties, but you can't stay away forever! Jajajajajaja!!! (he RETREATS)
(the AUDIENCE is shown pictures of DEAD PEOPLE)
AUDIENCE: Unnecessary.
(SOMEWHERE)
HIGE: I've been thinking Kiba-
KIBA: THAT'S a first! (giggle giggle snort snort)
HIGE: Dammit, stop interrupting me! I was thinking… we should go for some Taco Bell man.
KIBA: Totally. Hey, did you know I ATE the Taco Bell dog?
HIGE: That's to cool for school, yo.
KIBA: I know… (KIBA has VISIONS of the TACO BELL DOG served with SEASONING and OTHER ODD IMAGES)
HIGE: What the fuck was that?
(RUINS)
TOBOE: Run Tsume, run! Dammit, why the fuck are you so slow?
TSUME: Shut up moron! I'm going as fast as I can!
ROBO-MAN: MISSLE!
ICE BRIDGE: COLLAPSE!
TSUME & TOBOE: FALL!
AUDIENCE: Action, baby yeah!
(SOMEWHERE AGAIN)
KIBA: (gasp)
HIGE: I know! I smell it too! TACO BELL!
(KIBA once again, sees STRANGE TACO BELL related IMAGES)
KIBA: This place was an old war zone.
HIGE: Irrelevant man. Totally irrelevant.
(in an ICY CAVE)
TSUME: (waking up) Where am I… Who… am I…? (when he sees TOBOE LICKING HIM, his memory is JOGGED) What the fuck yo! Not cool.
TOBOE: Curses! I was having fun too! (INSPECTS TSUME) You have a sexy body.
TSUME: I know, but it's too goddamned sexy for you to look at! (he ROLLS OVER, giving TOBOE a nice view of his ASS)
TOBOE: Dude, I am like way too spoiled.
FANGIRLS: We love you TOBOE! Eeek! (faint faint faint faint)
TSUME: I hate you, Toboe! You stole everyone's attention!
TOBOE: I love you.
ROBO-MAN: Heeeeeere's Jhonny!
TOBOE: Time for an anime-esque scene!
(OK, picture this. And OLD MOVIE setting, in which the LADY is WITH A CHILD (pregnant is what I mean), and the MAN is dressed REGALY. ARMY MEN have come, and the man bravely PRETENDS to risk his LIFE for his WOMAN. In this case, TSUME is the LADY, and TOBOE is the MAN)
TOBOE/MAN: I'll distract them, so you can get away!
TSUME/LADY: Don't do it, Samuel!
TOBOE/MAN: Do not worry, Elizabeth. I would risk my life for you… and my child.
TSUME/LADY: I love you, Samuel!
TOBOE/MAN: And I you. (runs OFF to make DISTRACTION)
(in SLOW-MO)
TOBOE/MAN: Huff… run… huff… SHOT! (he is SHOT DOWN by ARMY MEN)
TSUME/LADY: Nooo!!!
(FREEZE-SCREEN)
(BACK TO… WOLF'S RAIN)
ROBO-MAN: Nyarharharhar!! I shoot at thee! I shoot at thee!
TOBOE: Haha! Sucka! You can't get me! Nyahahahaha!!
TSUME: (making a 'RUN' for it) NOTICED!
ROBO-MAN: I will kill thee!
KIBA: Never! It was YOU! It was YOU who destroyed the TACO BELL! I will KILL YOU!
ROBO-MAN: Never! Die fool! (he FIRES AWAY at KIBA)
KIBA: (begins to SCALE WALLS) You can't get me! Nanananana!
AUDIENCE: Shit yo, how the hell is he doing that?
KIBA: Full moons of course! They provide me with the daily nutrients and vitamins I need! I love the full moon, it gives me good strong bones!
FINE-PRINT READER MAN: Full moon can cause side effects such as craziness, corny-ness or even severe cases of OOCness. After certain amounts of doses, lunar flowers will die. Please consult your physician or pediatrician if side effects do not wear off, or if flowers proceed to die too soon. The solar system will not be held responsible for any deaths or losses of paradise.
(after this scene ends, HALF OF THE AUDIENCE will bask in the FULL MOON and TRY TO SCALE WALLS. NONE OF THEM will SUCCED)
(ELSEWHERE NEARBY)
HIGE: Tsume, I SUMMON THEE!
TSUME: Shut up loser, I'm coming.
(ACTION PLACE)
KIBA: Observe my awesome techniques! (KIBA shows off HIS MAD SKILLZ)
ROBO-MAN: It appears I am out of ammo…
(silence rumble grumble silence)
ROBO-MAN: Hmm, I wonder what that noise could be…?
(ROBO-MAN turns his head, only to see a WALL OF WATER COMING straight for HIM. Oh the HUMANITY!)
ROBO-MAN: Oh shit.
(ROBO-MAN is SWEPT AWAY by the POWERFUL CURRENTS. The WOLVIES are VICTORIOUS… for now…)
(In CHER'S HOUSE)
HUBB: This place needs some serious redecorating. (INSPECTS CHER'S DESK) Oh! Look at this conveniently placed plot token of a pagan book! Score for me!
(In the SNOWLY LANDS)
ROBO-MAN: RESURFACE!! (gasp gasp breathe dysfunction twitch gasp) H… hark… (ROBO-MAN DIES)
KIBA: (does a VICTORY DANCE) Go Kiba, it's your birthday, not really, but what the fuck…
AUDIENCE: The fuck? That's not how the song goes…!
(On the PATH TO PARADISE)
TSUME: How come you always have the answers for everything, Kiba?
KIBA: I read.
HIGE: Nerd!
TOBOE: I love you, Tsume.
ENDING
(HIGE is filling is for KIBA, because LAST TIME he was ARRESTED for INDECENT EXPOSURE)
HIGE: Huff… run… huff… (he eventually COLLAPSES because he ATE too much RAMEN before the ENDING. He barfs and barfs and barfs, until he is SO SKINNY, that he just ISN'T HIGE ANYMORE.)
DIRECTOR: Damn! Tsume, you're filling in next time!
TSUME: (STILL filing nails) Yea yea sure sure, put a sock in it old man.
LOL, that one… wasn't as good. But I loved the ending! Teehee! I really don't know what to do for Tsume when he fills in though… Help me reviewers! I need the inspiration. Fuel my fires baby! Bring me the matches! A jump-start! Anything… SO REVIEW. Jeez, I wonder how many times the word 'review' appears on Probably a lot, yea. Earn a cookie if you count (yea sure, no one's going to do this but w/e, some people have too much time on their hands).
Ryogas-Baby-Gurl – Waaii! A cookie! YAY! Yes, yes, I too loved the flashback part as well. Thanks for the review! (hug)
Black-rose23 – Ah good question. Blue meets Toboe later on, but that was just sorta like a warning incase people don't really like the idea of that pairing. Thanks for the review!
Nanaki – I'm so glad you like it! YAY! (gives a
balloon)
- … Okay…. How do you even know if I'm white or
not? I honestly do not think that's a good thing to say. But
whatev. I was just writing the way I talk… and I find it amusing
since it's totally different from the way they talk in Wolf's
Rain… teehee!
–Well, yay. I'm happy that you find it so
enjoyable, since I can't laugh at what I write… hee… But please
do tell your friends about it! That would make me super happy!
Cat
– My thoughts exactly. Thanks for the review.
– I am super
happy you reacted that way… because that was the intended response…
along with laughter.
– Why Tsume is metro is still unknown to
me. And yes, being random is good. Thanks for the reviews!
Anonymous – Dammit! 'Annyomous'… spelled wrong on word! Argh… that is annoying the hells out de moi. Anyway… Thanks so much for the review! I totally love you people…
Whiskers – I say these aren't funny because I suppose I don't find them funny. It's rare that I actually laugh at my own work. But I'm glad it makes people laugh! Thanks for the review!
Man… you people rock!
Next Update: CHRISTMAS! XD XD XD
