Forever Wanting More

Author's note: I intended Never Enough to be a oneshot, but now it's spiraled into a quartet. I'll be posting the other two over the next few days. They're a Jack POV and an Ana-Lucia POV.

Sawyer thought she didn't realize.

That he stayed awake for hours every night, watching her sleep. That he regarded her as a trophy in some ways, his woman, the most beautiful woman on the island.

His woman. His. She was, in every sense except that she'd never love him.

Kate knew she was beautiful. Tom had told her often enough. Jack never had, but it had been obvious in his looks. Almost all the island men, even the ones now in love with a different island girl than her, had looked at her in that way. Jack had done it the longest.

Jack did it still.

Sawyer had never been married. He was never overly protective of her. He showed no signs of going insane. Quite frankly, he was hot as hell.

Kate rolled over, attempting once again to fall asleep. As her thoughts became too much for her, she muttered her beloved's name, to the horror of her lover.

As unbelievable as it was, he was her lover. Often. Sawyer, the antagonist of the island, pleasured her almost nightly. She screamed out his name, never letting herself be truly happy.

Some days, she wondered how she'd gotten herself into this mess. In a million different universes, she could have avoided getting on the plane. In so many more, she could have been honest with Jack from the beginning. Or with neither of them. So many different circumstances could have saved her from her broken heart.

When it became clear that he wasn't going to go asleep and stop his own musings, she rose from the bed. He pretended to be asleep. Slowly she walked out of the tent, her barely clad body shivering in the cold. Sometimes, the beach seemed so unsafe.

But it wasn't that that drove her nightly to the caves.

She stepped past Ana-Lucia, over Charlie. Neither of them awoke as she made her way to the cave farther back from the beach.

Jack was a light sleeper. He awoke as soon as he sensed her standing in his doorway, her white underwear and tank top standing out in the dark, dark night. She'd recently done her laundry. Her white clothing contrasted particularly against her skin and dark hair. She looked down at her feet while his gaze hovered on her.

She hated how much she needed him.

Silently he nodded, and she walked quickly across the cold cave floor to lie with him. He sat up as she joined him and she ran a hand over his stubble, his short dark hair. She leaned in and kissed him. For a moment he seemed like he was going to resist, put his conscious above his desire.

But he never could.

After a few more stolen kisses, she pulled away. She didn't need sex, and she couldn't quite bring herself to betray Sawyer that thoroughly. As much as she wanted to.

No, they had their own routine. Jack lay back down on his makeshift bed, and Kate slipped in between his arms. She felt his hard stomach against her back and his face, only inches from hers. She pictured his dark, sad, searching eyes.

Eyes forever searching for her.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Her and Sawyer had tried to spoon a few times. It had somehow resulted in a few bruises, and a few more bitter arguments. Kate felt a stab of victory every time she saw Jack asleep without his quasi girlfriend, Ana-Lucia.

The space by his side at night was hers. Always.

The two men flashed through her dreams. Sexy, dangerous Sawyer. Handsome, dependable Jack. She'd never been in the same place long enough to be so torn.

But to say she was torn was a lie. She'd made her decision, even if she wasn't living with it. She'd made her decision on the first day.

Her sleeping mind flashed to her first love, telling her she was beautiful. Sawyer called her hot, sexy, tight.

Beautiful.

Jack knew she was beautiful.