Mou… so sorry, this is a day late! (shoots herself) (revives). I'm so sorry! It's not like I forgot, I would never forgot, I just wasn't able to cause I was away from my compy! Sorry friends! So yes, to make up for this updates will come a day sooner for the day lost. Yay.
Anyway, just read the chapter. This one is my personal fav.
EPISODE 8: Song of Waffles
OPENING
CONTE: This episode is about singing, therefore being my favorite episode! Although they don't sing very well… hey, you can't deny you watch the beginning of American Idol JUST to see the bad people! Huh? Huh! I mean, they SUCK! They totally SUCK! But it's sooo fun to watch I mean, totally! The way Simon disses them… He's totally hot by the way… TACO BELL!
(SOMEWHERE) (This is getting really old, isn't it?)
CRACK LADY: ABC! Easy as 123! Baby! Whoosh ouch! Burn baby burn! DISCO INFERNO! Tsss…. Hot!
(AMRY-TYPE SOMEWHERE)
CHER: Those kids... were no ordinary kids…
GENERAL: Tell me about it! Did you see the way they dressed? Sooo 90's! And that one wearing the black! 70's!
CHER: That's actually not what I meant… I mean, Cheza was happy with them!
GENERAL: People who dress like that usually do heroine so… yeah.
CHER: I think they we're wolves.
GENERAL: You are a fuck up.
CHER: Dip.
(in the SKY)
FLYING ROBOT: Kill the rebel scum! Kill! Huh? What? Oh. Sorry, wrong planet! (1)
CHEZA: Those constipation pills sure have their fair share of side affects! I feel totally suicidal! (she TRIES to JUMP OFF a CLIFF, alas, FAILS SOMEHOW)
HIGE: Isn't it sooo cool, the antennas Cheza has? I think they're totally sexy.
TOBOE: I don't see them.
HIGE: You must be blind.
TSUME: I'm feeling really bitchy right now. Kiba! I want to have a catfight with you.
KIBA: Ok fine. (ahem) Oh. My. God. Tsume, where the fuck did you get you're hair dye? It totally reeks!
TSUME: Actually, I got it at CVS.
KIBA: Oh really? That's kewl.
TSUME: Oh I totally know- Wait a second…! I hate you Kiba! (huff fume)
KIBA: Cheza's going to lead us to paradise.
TOBOE: Paradise? Oops. Thought we were going to Chuckie Cheese's… ha, oh well…
CHEZA: …If you're looking for the goodies keep on looking cause they stay in the drawer… oh oh… oh oh…
KIBA: Woah. It never said on her packaging that she came with a Jukebox!
TSUME: I love My Goodies!
HIGE: It's making feel drowsy despite the loud siren and techno beat…
(SOMEHOW, EVERYONE goes to SLEEP)
TOBOE: I'm dreaming of sitting in a fire waiting for Granny to eat me! Anything for Granny!
HIGE: I'm dreaming of raping underage girls! Woohoo!
TSUME: I'm dreaming of killing innocent animals for the sake of killing!
KIBA: I'm dreaming about… what's happening right now.
(At the MARKET) (See? I totally know where we are!)
ARMY MEN: Okay people… Stick 'em up! I want all of your Best Buy dollars and any goat cheese you have! Oh… you have cream cheese? That's kewl.
TOBOE: I'm afraid of cats. (SPYS SOMETHING) Oh look a wolf fur jacket! Cheza will looove that!
(in an ALLEYWAY)
TOBOE: I bought Cheza a present!
HIGE: Me too! Maybe now she'll like us as much as Kiba!
TOBOE: She'll like my present more.
HIGE: (gasp) !
TOBOE: What is it, Hige?
HIGE: Oh, it's just a trashcan.
TOBOE: We should run. I'm afraid of trashcans too. (they DO)
(At the TREE OF LIFE 2)
TSUME: I'm awake.
CHEZA: You slept the longest.
TSUME: No dip.
CHEZA: I can see your ass.
TSUME: The point.
KIBA: Tsume… I thought you should know… I didn't wake you up because you looked so adorable when you were sleeping! I was fighting the temptation to go perverted on you in your sleep.
TSUME: Thank you for the assurance of keeping my virginity later on.
KIBA: Hey, that's what I'm here for. I'm the sex god of the series, after all. I mean, my hair, my eyes, my shoes…
AUDIENCE: They are not sexy!
KIBA: …I mean, my knees…somehow…
HIGE: We're back everyone!
TOBOE: A rabid trashcan was stalking us.
(AMRY CAMP BASE PLACE MAYBE)
CHER: One of my secret hobbies is looking at photos of dead people! By the way, I'm schizophrenic.
(At the TREE OF LIFE 2)
TOBOE: Do you like my present Cheza?
CHEZA: No! I hate it! It looks terrible!
TOBOE: I thought you were blind though…
CHEZA: Just shut up you bitch! That coat is making me pissed off! (her eyes EXPAND, and the COAT bursts into FLAMES) Okay…. Next!
TSUME: Here are some boots…
CHEZA: Omigawd! (squeal snort giggle laughter) Uggs! I've wanted these for ages! I love Uggs! Yay!
CRACK LADY: Badda bing Badda boom, Michael Jackson impersonator 2325663254.789 has arrived!
HIGE: Woah.
CRACK LADY: Wolves…
DARCIA: Totally MY line… I mean uh, sorry, gotta go… place…
KIBA: OoOoK! ANYway, why are you here Crack Lady? More importantly, who the fuck are you?
(FLASH to ARMY PLACE PROBABLY)
CHER: I'm still looking at dead people!
(BACK at the TREE OF LIFE 2)
CRACK LADY: I'm a hanahaheroine lady. But that's irrelevant. I came to tell Cheza she's perfect.
HIGE: I totally know! Her curves are so well balanced!
CRACK LADY: Actually that's not what I meant. So go fuck yourself.
HIGE: Oh. Ok.
CRACK LADY: What I mean is Cheza was a perfect breed of her kind. A perfect mix of rice and a lunar flower.
TSUME: Wait a second, I thought she was 100 percent lunar flower?
CRACK LADY: That is incorrect. Go fuck yourself. You see, Cheza has to have the right… genes to open the gate to the Everlasting Taco Bell, and rice is just as nice as a lunar flower.
TOBOE: Well why not like, cauliflower or something else white and edible?
CRACK LADY: Who eats that shit at a fast food restaurant? Go fuck yourself.
KIBA: I don't think I like this. We'll have to choose one. I'm thinking of a number between one and ten.
TSUME: Four.
KIBA: She's a lunar flower.
HIGE: Wait a shit-second! We were supposed to run from the human forces approximately… (LOOKS at WATCH) (Not like he HAS one or anything) 2.67 seconds ago!
CRACK LADY: Shit! Run everyone!
(EVERYONE does SO, doing the MATRIX as well)
(UGLY HOUSE)
CRACK LADY: Can I take off my sunglasses now? It's getting sorta dark in here. Also, I was supposed to take them off during the LAST scene but SOMEONE started a game of 20 questions!
HIGE: (picking his NOSE) What…?
CRACK LADY: (TAKES OFF SUNGLASSES) (her EYES are NEON PURPLE)
KIBA: Purple. That's totally hot.
CRACK LADY: Thank you. Anyway, my whole life story is: I was grown in some jar of green water, lined up for execution, escaped somehow, and made money by doing Michael Jackson impersonations. But the thing is, I haven't been very healthy lately. If I could have some organ transplants from Cheza, all would be well.
TOBOE: You're a selfish bitch. Go fuck yourself.
CRACK LADY: Shit! You just beat me at my own game!
(OUTSIDE)
CHER: Hm, let's see… Map Quest says a bonus plot location… should be… here. (she STOPS) Woah. That's some juicy looking plot location!
TSUME: Matches? Would you like some matches?
TOBOE: Fingernails?
HIGE: Crack?
CHER: You must be wolves.
KIBA: Shit! Run everyone!
(They DO)
CHER: Woah. Cheza flew right past me and I could have whipped out my handy shot gun and shot her. Oh well. Stupid Map Quest!
(CRACK FLOWER HOUSE)
CRACK LADY: I'm… dying.
(In an ALLEY)
CHEZA: Huff run huff…! Shit! That lady's dying. I could've given her my 17th kidney…
(INSERT LONG SILENCE)
CHEZA: Kibaaa! Cheza-chan has decided to come with you! Is that alright?
KIBA: Isn't that what you've been doing all this time…? (KIBA lets the subject DROP)
CHEZA: (begins to have EYE SPASMS) That's so totally hot! Hige?
HIGE: (is PICKING HIS NOSE. He eventually NOTICES CHEZA) Wha?
CHEZA: Yay! Toboe?
TOBOE: Yea sure, but dude, if we get hungry… ladies first…
CHEZA: (UNFLOWER-LIKE GIGGLE of DOOM) Awsome! And Tsume?
TSUME: (filing nails) Whatev, man. Whatev.
CHEZA: Wow, like totally kewl! I now pronounce us, the FELLOWSHIP OF THE FLOWER! Yay flowers! Hippies, all da way! (random PEACE SIGN)
KIBA: Woah.
(MARKET)
CHER: Ugh I'm totally lost. Shit! Map Quest screwed me again!
(ALLEYWAY 5)
CHEZA: I love the dramatic way you fling this dirty cloth over my head!
KIBA: Thank you!
(MARKET)
CHER: I just walked right past the protagonist and the person I need to kill. Despite the odd way they're dressed and Kiba's familiar face, I didn't recognize them. Shit! (TURNS AROUND) Oh. They're gone.
AUDIENCE: How many times has that scenario appeared in a movie? Like… 20 billion… or so?
(CRACK FLOWER HOUSE)
CHEZA: I've come to ease your pain while you die, so it will be over quickly.
CRACK LADY: That's okay. It's the only episode I appear in, I want to have a dramatic exit.
CHEZA: You better get to then cause you don't have much longer!
CRACK LADY: I'm so happy… that I'm… dying… (turns a BROWN COLOR)
CHEZA: Woah! Michael Jackson technique… only the other way around! That's hot.
DIRECTOR: Jesus Christ, Cheza! Get the fucking emotions right!
CHEZA: Oops! Sorry! Tee hee! (CRIES with an UNEMOTIONAL EXPRESSION) I'm so sad…
(OUTSIDE)
KIBA: I don't know what you did in there but I'm here… Hold my hand. It will make me horny and make you feel better.
CHEZA: Sounds good to me.
(OUTSIDE of the CITY)
QUENT: Quick! Blue! Where's the closest porn shop! I'm low in stock!
BLUE: I hate people.
QUENT: Woah. That's a big ass ship that's suspended in the air right there.
BLUE: Tru dat.
ENDING
JAIL MAN: Okay, Kiba! You're free to go, just don't go running naked again.
KIBA: Okay! Whee! (he RUNS) I feel so free! I will always remain free! Free as the wind! Yes! Lookit me go! Freeeee!
PREVIEW
CHER: So I told my daughter not to feed the wolf vodka. So what does she do? She feeds the wolf vodka. So now I've got a dumb daughter, a dead wolf, and no vodka! And now I gotta go to work!
(1) Star Wars clip thing! Yeah. I saw the robot in the anime and was like: 'Shit! That looks a lot like those floaty things in Star Wars!' So yeah. Shout outs!
Miss-Ashleychan – Omigawd, I love you! (hug) You're sooo cool! Yay! I love my Toboe too, especially in this chapter. Thanks so much for the review!
toboe's-Fan – Yay Snoop! I'm glad you responded to that, it made me all warm inside.
–Waai, you reviewed not once, but twice! You are a good example of… humanity? Yeah, that's the word. Thanks so much for the reviews!
like-cairo – Yay fangirly dreams! Hooray! Oh joy. Anway, I'm soooo happy you like it. And yes, pairing Conte an Sakamoto up was a must since they sing so many songs together. And you might have trouble bearing my children since I'm female… Anyway, thanks bunchies for the review!
Whiskers – Yay! Jak is hot. I find cursing funny too, seeing as how little the wolvies curse (to the extreme, i.e. Fuck). So yeah, a turn for the better I must say. Thanks for the review!
Moon Dog – I'm so happy my ficcy lifted your spirits! I feel so touched. Thanks so much for the review!
Oook… hopefully some of you who reviewed last time found out what the prize was… A review for one of your stories! Yeah, I like to return good deeds. And no, that wasn't a one time thing. Review, and receive one for yourself EXCEPT(!) if I have no idea what your fic is based on… like Star Trek for example. I don't know anything about it. Okay kewl.
Just review… people.
