Sorry this chappy's a day late! My internet hasn't been working for a while now, and it only started working today. Be glad. This chapter could have been updated much later.

Well anyway, this isn't my favorite one, but I hope it's enjoyable. The title's my favorite part, since I couldn't think of anything else. Oh! And for future preference, there IS such thing as dandelion wine! It's good! It's like alcohol blasted water! Yum. Sorta.

AND OMIGOD. THEY'RE DUBBING NARUTO! Can you believe it? It's going to air on Toonami sometime between July and September. NOT COOL. I would be much happier if it was on Adult Swim. Anyway, if there are any Naruto fans reading this, please review and tell me your thoughts! I'll be sure to respond next chapter, so we can have a little side chat about WTF is going to happen to the awesome-as-it-is-now anime.

EPISODE 9: ((-4,"1#>:0!.-))

OPENING

CONTE: ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP, QRS, TUV, WX, Y and Z. Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me.

QUENT: Yeah baby yeah! I'm feelin' it! I'm on FIYA! (translation: fire)

(OLD CITY)

AUDIENCE: Dammit Hubb! This city is getting really old! Everyone else has left, what the fuck are you still doing here?

WHORE: I'm a whore.

HUBB: No dip.

WHORE: So why are you here?

HUBB: Story time! Yay!

WHORE: Okay. Here goes! (ahem) Everyone is different. Bobby is different. He's about to get his head blown off by aliens. But Maria is about to get her eyes gouged out by knife wielding ass holes. Everyone is different.

HUBB: That was beautiful. And for that, here's 300 bucks.

WHORE: I should've been an author. But my Mary-Kate Olsen lips are too cool for that field.

(FLARIN' BAR)

HUBB: Apple juice, please.

CHER: I saw a few hobos the other day. They were wolves… too.

QUENT: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

CHER: Isn't it?

(OUTSIDE)

BLUE: Oh no… MORE protagonists!

CHEZA: A friend! Like, omigod a friend! It's another protagonist!

BLUE: I hate you! (bite's CHEZA'S hand OFF)

CHEZA: Oh dear. (REGROWS her hand SOMEHOW) Anyway, did you know you're a wolf?

BLUE: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

CHEZA: I know…

(INSIDE)

ARMY MAN: There are wolves outside.

SAME MAN ONLY DIFFERENT: Maybe we should call the general and tell him instead of shooting at them.

ARMY MAN: Good idea.

SAME MAN ONLY DIFFERENT: Cher is useless.

ARMY MAN: I feel you.

CHER: I resent that!

(CAR GRAVEYWARD)

KIBA: Okay youngin's let's spread out! Hut hut! 24 16 and hike!

TSUME: Good attitude.

(KIBA, TSUME and HIGE exit RIGHT STAGE)

CHEZA: Wooh, that dandelion cake and wine sure was filling! I'm stuffed!

TOBOE: Does that make you a cannibal?

CHEZA: Probably. (shrug)

TOBOE: (shrug shrug burp shrug) I had a kitten.

(OUTSIDE the YELLOW TONKA BUS)

UNKNOWN FOR NOW KID: Geoffrey Hapuhazu no naka Kami Kashinkatinka Dimpu Mamalapako Hippieomgporngrnrg the third, let's meet up in town!

GHKKDMHIII: Good idea, Kevin Pasdeda Lamenka de mor Depentdata Comoestasmuybienytu Frass Ilieyokukakukokukukuke Bort!

KPLDCFIB: Let's go! (they SPLIT UP)

ONE-SYLLABLE NAME KID: Noooo! What about me!

GHKKDMHIII/KPLDCFIB: I don't think so, your name is so not kewl enough to be in our posse! You suck, Kort Ki!

KORT: Shit! I'm screwed!

(ALLEYWAY)

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: Those kids… were no ordinary kids…

SIDEKICK MAN: Tell me about it. I mean, I've heard of people pulling off The Matrix, but that was ridiculous!

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: No, not that! How did I get these wounds when they had no weapons?

SIDEKICK MAN: Um, maybe since you were to concentrated on the piss you were taking you didn't see the weapons?

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: Oh.

(SOMEWHERE)

QUENT: You've grown over the past ten or so years Blue.

BLUE: Most things grow over time, dumbass.

QUENT: Be quiet while I'm preaching to you! I really think we should get those wolves to the SPCA, I mean, what if they have fleas?

BLUE: It's anime, people don't HAVE fleas.

QUENT: Not even the animals?

BLUE: Of course not!

QUENT: My kid was stubborn. He had fleas.

BLUE: He was messed.

QUENT: No dip, now please go do a good deed while I sleep off my hangover.

KORT: Shit! People are killing me!

BLUE: I'm bored, I'll attack them. (she DOES)

EVIL CONSTPATED MAN: You asshole bitch! Always foiling my plans! I'll get you my pretty, I'll get you!

BLUE: You do that.

QUENT: Blue! What kind of good deed was that? What I MEANT was saving some poor kid's life!

BLUE: This is exactly why I hate you.

KORT: Smells like porn in here.

QUENT: It's comforting that you know what porn smells like.

(MARKET)

CHER: What lovely paintings you have!

MAN: Thank you, the one your looking for is inside.

CHER: How nice that you can read my mind… (looks at SMEXY PAINTING) Oh my! I didn't know Darcia was THAT sexy!

MAN: He makes me hard.

CHER: Me too.

AUDIENCE: Wow. TMI… TMI… (too much info)

(UGLY HOUSE)

QUENT: So, you are an orphan.

KORT: No dip! I have the generic anime-orphan look, so it was pointless to ask that question.

(OUTSIDE)

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: Omigawsh it's you!

BLUE: So it would seem…

NEZE: Totally my line…

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: I attack thee! I attack thee! (he DOES)

BLUE: I'm not dead.

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: I shoot at thee! I shoot at thee! (he DOES)

BLUE: Dude, give it up. I'm a protagonist! I can't die. Yet.

EVIL CONSTIPATED MAN: Then I guess I will. (he DOES)

(INSIDE)

QUENT: I hope you find your father someday.

KORT: What you don't know is that I'm your long lost son.

QUENT: I'm drunk I can't hear you!

KORT: You should leave. There's a dead man outside my door. Since it was your dog's fault, you have to clean it up.

QUENT: I still can't hear you.

(OUTSIDE)

QUENT: Blue…

(CAR GRAVEYARD)

KIBA: Toboe and Cheza… they're…. Gone… (he CRIES)

HIGE: It's okay buddy, we'll get through this.

TOBOE: Dudezzz… I'm lyke, riite heear… an' I haav ben… lyk, fo' thee howol thyme.

TSUME: What the fuck happened to you?

TOBOE: Chersa haad sum reaali grate dandeeeleon wine! You shuud haff suum!

TSUME: That's not my thing.

TOBOE: Oookay… buut iff you chang yoour miund, theere's pelentii to goo arououond!

CHEZA: So what's the plan?

KIBA: We're surrounded, so we'll just casually walk out of here and make way for the death forest-

HIGE: Why?

KIBA: Because that's what the script said and we need more obstacles to overcome. Anyway, if we just whistle and waltz on by, they'll least expect that, so we'll do fine.

TOBOE: Iiii'm sououou eksiiiited!

(DARCIA GRAVEYARD)

CHER: Why the fuck did I bring flowers for people I don't even know?

DARCIA: Boo!

CHER: Hey there, sexy.

DARCIA: (singing) I don't want another minute to go to waste, I just want you and your beautiful soul!

CHER: That man needs to get over the fact that he is shallow. Like Hal… from that movie.

DARCIA: I was in that movie.

CHER: That's sexy.

(CAR GRAVEYARD)

ARMY MAN: Kill everything that moves! (NOTHING MOVES) Kill it anyway!

(ARMY PEOPLE proceed to kill INANIMATE OBJECTS)

(ARMY BASE)

KIBA: With our sexy Michael Jackson outfits, no one will notice us!

(4 WOLVES and 1 FLOWER do the MOONWALK through the ARMY BASE)

(In the CITY)

QUENT: Dammit Blue, this whole missing thing is starting to make me constipated!

TOBOE: Lookit me!

QUENT: Oh my great fucking god! Wolves are around the freakin' corner!

BLUE: To test how stupid humans are, I'll enter at this moment, pretending to die.

QUENT: Sorry Blue, Taco Bell calls. (he LEAVES)

BLUE: What the fuck?

(SOMEWHERE)

CHEZA: Cool, everyone's here!

HIGE: How do you know? You're blind!

TOBOE: Dude! Her antennae!

QUENT: Time to die! (they DON'T)

CHEZA: Save me, Kiba!

KIBA: (is getting a HICKEY from TSUME) Sorry, not in the mood.

QUENT: Oh I'm out of ammo! (RELOAD)

NEO: Like, The Matrix!

QUENT: Oh the wolves are gone.

DIRECTOR: I thought you wanted to bring them to the SPCA, not kill them.

QUENT: I have PMS, ok! So back off! Hubatcha-no.

(In the CITY)

QUENT: Blue's gone. That was too obvious. Oh well.

DIRECTOR: What… the-

QUENT: I mean! (sadness) Blue…

TOBOE: Howl back youngin.'

WHORE: w00t w00t!

ENDING

CHEZA: (on a SNOW MOBILE) Whee! This one is having fun! (she RUNS OVER KIBA) Oops! This one ran over something! Oh well! Whee! (she RIDES OFF into the SUNSET)

PREVIEW

CHEZA: Club of Life. Another Hobo. Grab the Stripper. Ass-hole Hyper Wave. Youngin's Grind Hard. Fucked or not Fucked? Rave and Party.

CHER: I don't think that was quite right.

CHEZA: Screw you.

CHER: Please don't.

Ugh… that one was pretty bad. It had it's funny points, but other than that it was lame. O. Lame-O. Okay. So review. People. Please? But first! Shout-outs!

Canis Lupis - Where did you go? Limited internet time sucks, I used to have it. Anyway, I'm so glad you loved the fic! It makes me all warm inside!

toboe's-Fan - Wow... here's the update! (cough)
-Haha, I loved that nickname as well. Please don't kill Tsume, he makes these chapters flow better!
-I hated that Robo-man thing. Unpimped. Holla.
-Tsume HAS to be over-dramatic because that makes him all the more OOC! You can't have a good parody with all the characters IC. It doesn't work!
-UPDATED!
-My class loved the goodies thing when I told them about it, even if they didn't get it. I'm glad you like that! Modern day stuff makes me laugh somehow... Anyway, thanks so much for the reivews!

Miss-Ashleychan - Yay! You reviewed! (happiness) I totally have to agree with you, Toboe really does kick ass. Especially in this chapter with all the drunkedness stuff. That was a blast to write. (hugs) I love you!

anonymous - I'm glad you liked it! I really liked Chapter 8, probably my favorite one! Yayness!

Ryogas-Baby-Gurl - There's no need to apologize, I totally feel you! It assures me you actually have a life outside unlike me. (I live for Uchihacest. Don't ask.) Anyway, boxers totally rock! Yay! And yes, look forward to that line in the next or following chapters! It made me giddy, like I was high! (hug)

Moondog186 - Dude, I rock boxers and now socks! Awsome, yo! Thanks so much for the review! (hugs)

Another thing, about my, review, get one in return thing… I can't send reviews anymore! My compy doesn't load the pop-up thingy right, so it only displays where I type the review and nothing else! So as soon as I solve this problem, I'll be sure to review for your fic if you review for me. So sorry! Sure, it's an awesome reason to review, and now there is none! But please, reviews mean much to me, they're the only sanity I have left.

So review!