P.S. Oh! I almost forgot! I take notes for every chapter so I won't have to jump from my TV to my Compy and so on… so in the middle of writing the parody I realized I watched the wrong episode! SO I had to go back and do it again! Can you believe that! Gwar!
EPISODE 10: The Moon is a Planet
OPENING
CONTE: Dammit, this whole 'Stray' thing is starting to get old! Time to get jiggy with it! I mean, get your eagle on, girl!
CHER: Woot!
(In a CLEARING)
ARMY MAN A: This makes six shells! Whee! Lookit me, I can count to six!
ARMY MAN B: I can count to G!
ARMY MAN C: You dumb? I can count to purple backwards!
ARMY MAN B: If you're so smart, why don't you go into the Forest of Death?
ARMY MAN C: You dumb? I'm not in the mood to die now!
ARMY MAN A: I am.
ARMY MAN C: You dumb?
NEZE: So it would seem…
(In the FOREST OF DEATH)
HIGE: This place is so totally depressing! It needs more drugs.
TOBOE: Dude, you're so messed.
CHEZA: I totally need some of that wine...
TOBOE: (Pulls out JOINT) Me too... (LIGHTS it and starts SMOKING)
TSUME: Hey Toboe, wanna get dirty later?
TOBOE: Not really, I've already had my share of premature orgasms.
TSUME: Shit!
KIBA: I wanna make love to the moon.
TOBOE: Woah friends, now that's a little extreme!
KIBA: This anime is a little extreme.
HIGE: Argh! Hunger!
TSUME: Don't worry Hige, I've got tons of nail polish if you get desperate.
BUG: Attack!
TOBOE: Eek! Save me Tsume!
TSUME: (he DOES) Cheza do you want to eat this?
KIBA: (PUNCHES TSUME) Cheza doesn't eat bugs!
CHEZA: Um, actually I do, but if you say so…! Teehee!
HIGE: (sigh) There's no light in this pimp house…
(In an UGLY ROOM)
EVIL MAN: Quent, what the hell was that gun thing all about? And your dog too! Killin' people off like there's no tomorrow!
QUENT: Well shucks, I guess the wolves made me do it.
(FOREST OF DEATH)
TOBOE: Dammit Tsume! Did you have to be so rough? I'm in so much pain!
TSUME: Sorry kid. I couldn't help it!
CHEZA: Here let me help you! (STROKES TOBOE)
TOBOE: Oh! It feels so good! Oh yes! Yesyesyesyesyesyes! Oh Gods!
HIGE: Wow… that was… some reaction.
TOBOE: Will you shut up! Can't a wolf have an orgasm in peace around here?
KIBA: (monotonously) We're in the Forest of Death. There is no peace in this place.
TSUME: What are you, possessed?
KIBA: Something like that.
(PRETTY PLACE)
DARCIA: Awaketh, fair princess!
CHER: Will you shut up! You've been saying that for the past ten minutes!
DARCIA: Sooooorry! I was just TRYING to get the cues right.
CHER: A first. I'm surprised.
DARCIA: I decided to turn over a new burger.
CHER: I think you mean leaf.
DARCIA: No… I'm pretty sure I mean burger.
CHER: You need help.
NEZE: So it would seem…
(FOREST OF DEATH)
HIGE: (singing) The trees are alive with the sound of hyperventilation!
CHEZA: Oh! I'm so faint! I should've grabbed that bug when I had the chance!
TSUME: I hate you Kiba.
KIBA: Well… I love you!
OWL: Holla youngin's. It's time for you to start walkin! W00t w00t!
HIGE: Oh, you seem like such a good rapper! Marry me!
OWL: Fuck no way! (flies off)
HIGE: Noo! Wait for me, my love!
TSUME: Hige! I have a score to settle with you! It's not over until the fat Cheza sings!
CHEZA: (eats a HUGE BUG and begins to SING)
TSUME: Shit! It's over! (follows HIGE for no APPARENT REASON)
(ELSWHERE)
OWL: Riddles Riddles Riddles Riddles Riddles Riddles Riddles Riddles-
TSUME: Dammit Toboe! Just howl already!
TOBOE: w00t w00t!
(BACK at the OTHER PLACE)
CHEZA: I'm dying! Oh! That bug was too much!
OWL: I can lead you to a juicy plot place…
KIBA: Well why didn't you say so? (follows OWL)
(At a CAVE)
TSUME: That's one hot cave.
HIGE: Looks kinda bright.
TOBOE: What the shit are you on?
HIGE: It was the only grass in sight and I was so hungry! I'm sorry! I couldn't resist!
OWL: If you don't go in this cave, this series won't live to see episode 11.
KIBA: Well I guess we have no choice!
(DARICA'S PLACE)
DARCIA: BEHOLD! (whips out his handy THING)
CHER: Wow! So much data!
DARCIA: Though she is a unique specimen, it is quite impossible to have this much information on a simple rice-lunar flower. Somewhere in this mass of information, you will find that the saying is actually turning over a burger, not a leaf.
CHER: I've seen wolves before.
DARCIA: You are such a fool. We're on episode 10, not 1! Everyone's seen a wolf by now!
CHER: Oh. Shit! I've been reading the wrong script the whole time! No wonder I have no idea about what the fuck is going on!
(In the CAVE)
KIBA: Dammit! We're going in circles!
TSUME: How do you know?
KIBA: Because then the episode would be boring and too short!
TOBOE: Woah… calm down partner. No one asked you to get all PMSish in the middle of a crisis!
KIBA: Actually, Cheza did.
HIGE: I see light!
TOBOE: Hige, go in a corner and count you fingers. Tell me when you get to ten.
HIGE: Oohkhay! (DOES SO) 1, 2, 3, 4 ,7 ,9, 15! Argh! Dammit! 2, 1, 3.14, 7…
TSUME: Kiba, will you start acting like the leader of our pack?
KIBA: No shit Tsume. I've been doing so! I'm a male!
TSUME: Not with those titty lumpkins!
KIBA: (looks at HIS CHEST) Omigawd! My pecks have outgrown me!
TOBOE: You guys… we're… not alone…
BUG: Attack!
CHEZA: No! Please! Toss me up to higher ground!
KIBA: Okay. (DOES SO)
CHEZA: Whee!
KIBA: Okay team! Battle formation SASS (Stereotypical Anime Situation Shit)! Let's do it!
(EVERYONE ASSEMBLES)
HIGE: Uh Toboe… I still haven't gotten to-
TOBOE: Forget it, it's not important anymore. For now, just focus on making those baddies on the other side of the cave die.
TSUME: Ready when y'all are!
KIBA: Ready…. POSE!
(Our HEROS strike many different POSES. They are SO FLASHY, they somehow DESTROY THOUSANDS of BUGS)
(2 minutes later)
KIBA: Oh no! All this exercise is making my titty lumpkins harden and shrink! I can't do my killer flashy moves anymore!
CHEZA: This one will help you! After all… I have to do SOMETHING!
(CHEZA tries to JUMP down to her COMPANIONS, however, OVERLOOKS the large, gaping HOLE. She falls into it, and SOMEHOW, the WOLVES follow suit)
HIGE: I see light!
TOBOE: Hige will you stop with the light and- Omigawd! So do I!
CHEZA: We made it!
TSUME: Okay everyone! Time to get entirely OOC!
KIBA: Whee!
(4 WOLVES jump into CONVENIENTLY PLACED POND. CHEZA takes a different route, by walking in SLOWLY and striking a PORNY pose. ALL is amazed)
(DARCIA'S PLACE)
DARCIA: Cheza's gonne die soon.
CHER: She's not the only one…
(PROMISED LAND)
CHEZA: Sleep, my precious wolves… while you can… (MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
OWL: Park it like it's hawt!
ENDING
DIRECTOR: Oh shit, someone call 911!
CHEZA: This one had an accident!
DIRECTOR: Of course you did! You ran over the main character!
CHEZA: Ahahahahaha!
PREVIEW
KIBA: Aw dammit, why the hell do I have to do the preview with a cross-dresser in it!
CHEZA: Oh don't say that Kiba! I happen to like cross-dressing! In fact, I'll let you in on a little secret. (whispering) I'm a man!
KIBA: Holy FUCK!
CHEZA: Teehee! Juuuust kidding!
Whoosh… it's OVA! I actually really enjoyed that chapter. I hope you guys did too. It was hott. But ARGH! Cheza is the most annoying character to freak around with because she's already messed up. Now don't get me wrong, I like Cheza. It's just that her lines are so corny it's hard to make a parody off of them. So if you have any Cheza-altering suggestions, drop me a review! I'll take it into consideration and warp her personality. Holla!
toboe's-fan - Yay! Thanks so much for the review! Sorry if the chapter was a little dissapointing though... anyway... Yeah! Yeah.
Moondog186 - Thank you for being honest with me. I hate it when people lie and tell me it was good. I'm a little blunt, so I don't mind when people tell me the straight out truth. I was a little bit pissed with the owl during this episode, so sorry if it was a dissapointment. oh and do I have plans for Blue and Toboe! Nyahaha!
VASH THE STAMPEDE 63 - Thanks for the reivew! I did incorporate your idea into the ficcy, so thanks very much. Ugh, your Toboe just kicks ass. Thanks again!
Buddi-chan - Wai! (hug) Thank you so much! And corruption of the mind is my hidden skill of DOOM! Hahahahahahaha-okay now it's getting old. Thanks for the review!
Miss-Ashleychan - Yay! You reviewed! Anyway, I'm glad you liked that part. Oh and do I have something planned for Taco Bell... (maniacal laughter) Just wait for the next chappy!
neolotus - I'm so glad you think so! Thanks so much for the reivew!
Kawaii Elf Girl - Yay! (glomp hug) Omigawd! We have to go to that place place. Oh and we've already had a little party so I guess I can't respond to the call part. EXCEPT! I found Final Fantasy 7 on the net, only it was used, I can't find any new ones. But it's cheap so that's kewl. Call meeee!
Ooookay… I don't know what else to say… so review!
P.S.S. Sephiroth from Final Fantasy 7 is the new hot guy. Just thought you should know.
P.S.-oh screw it. Has anyone played Star Ocean 3? If so, tell me who your favorite character and coupling is! Yay!
'Kay now I'm done. Peace Out.
