Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except Kay and Layne. The rest belong to J.K. Rowling

This is my second Fanfiction and I wanted to do sort of a really funny one. So this is my attempt,

The Reason War

"Parker, I need your help,"

"No, I'm sorry Malfoy. There is nothing I can do about your stupidity,"

HOLD ON!

Let's freeze for a minute,

Kay Parker: 17 years old

7th year at Hogwarts,

Best friends with Harry Potter,

Gryffindor,

Draco Malfoy: 18 Years old

7th year at Hogwarts,

Best friends with Blaise Zabini,

Slytherin,

The only parts that don't really mix are the last ones,

Gryffindor + Slytherin NO WAY IN HELL!

So you see, the two don't talk unless their attempting to make sure the other's bloody death comes quicker,

And it's even worse for Kay Parker and Draco Malfoy. They've always hated each other,

In first year, she put a rat in his bed

In second year, he gave her a bright red nose,

In third year, she turned his hair green

In fourth year, he dumped ink on her head

In fifth year, she used a spell to make him sing and dance in front of everyone

In sixth year, he sent flowers to professor Snape saying they were from her,

But now it was seventh year. They've both changed. Matured. Grown up and been able to forgive each other

Oh, no wait. This isn't "The Happy Elf in the Forest of Rainbows" by I. M. Happy.

This is the real life of two teenagers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

And they don't just have a good cry then forgive each other.

One of the few things they had in common was their motto,

"Don't Cry. Get even,"

So, now you know that they could never be friends, go out or even lend the other a pencil, let's get back to the story,

"Parker, I need your help,"

"I already told you, Malfoy. Your stupidity is so bad I can't do anything about it,"

"Very funny," he said sarcastically,

"I try. What do you want?" she asked, looking up from her sketchpad

"I already told you. I need help," he said, slowly, as though he was talking to a preschooler,

"I'm glad you can finally admit your problems. It takes a strong woman to do that," Kay said, clapping fake happily,

"Will you just stop insulting me and listen?" he asked,

"No, but carry on," she said,

"As I said, I need your help. Bad," he said, quietly,

"Yes, that's the third time you've said that. One more will be a record," she said, bringing her legs up on the chair and sitting cross-legged,

"I made a bet," Draco said, "And I have to win it,"

"And with whom did you make this bet?" she asked,

"Blaise,"

"And the bet was?"

"Who can find the hottest girl to go to the ball with," he said, not looking her in the eye,

"So you want me to set you up with a hot girl?"

"No...I was thinking more you actually BE the hot girl," he rubbed the back of his neck,

Kay looked at him for a moment before busting out laughing,

"This is a joke, isn't it?" she asked, through laughs as she wiped tears out of her eyes,

He thought about it for a moment, "No,"

"Ok...no," she said, standing up,

"Will you at least think about it?" he called after her as he ran to catch up,

"Sure," she paused, "I thought about it,"

"And?"

"No,"

Kay turned a corner and continued walking. He still walked next to her,

"Why not?"

"There are so many reasons. But I think the obvious one is I don't date girls," she said, smiling,

"Shut up, half-breed," he said,

"Reason 2: We can't go for seven minutes without insulting each other,"

"That's not true!"

"Reason 3: we never agree on anything," she said, counting them on her fingers,

"Sure we do," he argued,

"No we don't," she replied, in a calm voice,

"I see your point. What's another reason?"

"I'll let you know. I just don't see why you can't ask one of those sluts in Slytherin?" she asked, stopping under a tree in the courtyard and sitting down. He did the same,

"Well, I would. But I already slept with most of them and never spoke to them again,"

"Reason 4!" she exclaimed, "You're an ass hole,"

"You know, we actually have a lot in common," he said,

"Our bodies are both 90 water?" she asked, putting her hair up in a messy bun and sticking her pencil in it, (a/r I know it's ninety something percent water but I'm not sure the exact number,)

"We both can't have dairy," he said,

"Wow! Let's be best friends!" she said, sarcastically,

"You're impossible," he said, exasperated,

"Well, it's better than being dead inside," she said,

"I am not dead inside," he whined,

"You're right. So how many girls did you sleep with and never talk to again?" she asked,

"Only five," he held up five fingers,

Kay looked at him, narrowing her eyes

"Plus two," he said, adding on two fingers,

"That's great. Will I be lucky number 8?" she asked,

"If the night goes alright..." he shrugged,

She smacked him upside the head,

"You know, Parker. There are people at this school who think we go well together," he said, rubbing his head where she'd smacked him,

"When you find out what they're on, let me know," she said, standing up and walking away,

"Parker, wait," He called, "I've got an idea,"

"Alert the Prophet! Draco Malfoy had a significant thought!" Kay said, turning around and stopping as he approached her,

"Ok, how about we each come up with as many GOOD reasons as we can that we can or cannot go to the dance together and by the end of two weeks, whoever has the better reasons, wins," he suggested,

Kay laughed, "Alright,"

They shook on it,

"So how much do you owe Blaise if you lose?" she asked,

"I have to go up to four girls and say 'I'm a pretty little girl,'" he said,

Kay laughed, "I'm going to enjoy watching you do that. I just gained a whole new respect for Blaise Zabini. Give him my regards," she said, before walking away,