Chapter 2- "Everyone has sex after weddings!"
After the ceremony, everyone gathered in the hall across the road for the reception. Emily and Ross walked through the door to more cheers and applause, and began making their way around all the guests, thanking them for coming, and laughing and talking.
Monica and Chandler stood at the buffet, trying to find a suitable time and place to slip away to Chandler and Joey's hotel room. Suddenly, the moment came- Ross and Emily were busy talking to senile old women and Joey was very busy with the leggy brunette. Everyone was deep in conversation with everyone else, so no one would notice if two twenty-something New Yorkers suddenly disappeared.
They smiled at each other, and started making their way out of the room. Just as they reached the lobby, they saw Rachel sitting on a couch. Her nose was running and she was snivelling. Monica gestured to Chandler that she would be one second, and sat down next to her. Rachel looked at her.
"Hey honey how are you?" Monica hugged her friend. Rachel sniffed.
"I've been better. I just can't believe it's over between us! Forever! I mean, Ross is married now! I always thought things would work out between us in the future you know? But now…" she sniffed again. Monica sighed- she could see her plans for the night fading rapidly.
"Ohh honey it'll be ok! You wanna talk about it?" Rachel nodded.
"Ok, just gimme 2 minutes I'll be right back" Monica got up. This was gonna be hard.
Chandler was hanging around in the doorway, getting a number of odd glances. "Hey, enjoying the party?" he asked a man who was walking through the lobby. The man flicked his hair back, looked Chandler up and down and smiled.
"Oh, it just got better!" He winked.
"Oh nononono! Nyeha……" Chandler laughed awkwardly "I'm actually just waiting for my…friend…she's a girl…we're going to have sex…" He winced as he realised what he had just said. The clearly gay guy winced too, said a quick "whatever" and walked on. As soon as he had passed, Chandler jumped up and down in fury- why did he attract gay guys?
"Trust me to inherit my mother's ability to attract young men and my father's ability to attract…gay men," he muttered. Ah well at least this embarrassing ordeal was for a good cause- he was gonna get laid!
At this point, Monica came up to him. He slid towards her in what he hoped was a suave fashion (but actually made him look like his shoes were stuck to the floor) and said "Why hello. Ready for the Chan-man love?". Monica raised an eyebrow, took a deep breath and said "Yeah honey about that…I'm gonna have to take a rain check"
"I'm sorry what?" Chandler couldn't believe he was being blown off! Yet again!
"I'm sorry…Rachel really needs me right now and I've decided I'm gonna be with her tonight."
"But…meh….I…" Chandler was burbling incessantly "You…I…come on…everyone has sex after weddings!"
Monica took a step back. "What?"
"Yeah!" Chandler continued "After weddings…everyone has sex! Sex sex sex! You're breaking the tradition! Don't leave me hanging!" He frowned at the last part.
Monica smiled "I'm sorry but I'm going to go see Rachel- she's not doing too good. I'll see you tomorrow"
Chandler's reply was something along the lines of "nnyehh", and he watched Monica go to comfort Rachel. He knew it was fair enough but still. He sighed. At that point Joey walked past.
"Hey man how's it going? You getting your post-wedding sex tonight?" He grinned "I know I am- that bridesmaid can't get enough! So what you up to? You look kinda hot are you ok?"
Chandler rubbed his face "I'm so hot and…desperate…that that gay guy over there is starting to look appealing. "
Joey looked at the prissy guy and raised his eyebrows. "Dude, I could not imagine what it's like to be you. I'll see ya" he said, and followed the bridesmaid.
Chandler returned to his hotel room and got into his pyjamas. Yes, his pyjamas. At 9.00.
