Disclaimer: Descendants of Darkness is not mine. I'm not brilliant enough to create such work, but I can did to the following.
Mistake of Light
Chapter One: I don't want to see the Doctor
I am so afraid, so frightened. I fear what is to come and what will become of me. I am disturbed, disgusted. Muraki, that man haunts me. I still don't know what he wants from me. All those innocents he killed, was it because of me? I like to think that it would be thinking too highly of myself, that it wasn't for me, but Muraki said it himself. Every clue he leaves behind leads me to him. He does this purposely. Now, I'm apprehensive. I don't want to take up any missions in fear of meeting him. I don't want to see that man. He makes me feel like the darkness itself is engulfing me. I am extremely uncomfortable near him. He chokes me. And when he touches me, I shiver, because I feel cold even though strangely his hands are warm (I have thought many times how truly strange that is, his hands are warm, but his heart is cold). I don't even want to be in the same state as him. I hate him! I don't want to see him!
"Tsuzuki?" I look up. "You alright?" I see a worried expression, and I realize that I have curled up in the corner of my room.
"I'm ok," I say with undeniable sad eyes.
"Then why aren't you out there eating the desserts I bought?" he questions calm and slow, his voice normal, though I often think its low and deep tone unfitting for him, but I've become familiar to hearing that same voice in my dreams.
"I'm there!" I suddenly leap up from my retreat and is smiling. Somehow food seems to cheer me (but I can't say it always will). Maybe it's because before I finally died I ate and drank nothing for eight years. Maybe...but then I think I've always like food. Can't live without it!
"Tsuzuki?" I look at him, needing to look down to fully see his pale face and brilliant green eyes. "You weren't thinking about Muraki, were you?"
I shift my eyes away almost ashamed to tell my partner, my friend, the truth. The truth is that I always think about Muraki, whenever I have time, at least once a day. I'm not afraid that he'll think of me as a coward (I know I am anyways). But I'm afraid of losing him; I'm terrified by the idea of not having him with me, shunning me because of what I am, like the rest of society.
From the moment Hisoka and I became partners I knew that he is important to me. I know not why but I need him. I feel as if he is the one who saves me, who can save me.
I also care for him deeply. Even though he can be somewhat harsh to me I have already gotten used to him, that it'll be impossible to live any other way, impossible to live without Hisoka... Am I exaggerating? Maybe I am...
"Tsuzuki, would you stop dazing off?"
By habit, I scratch my head. "Sorry."
"Plus, if you stand here any longer, all the food will be gone."
I look at him with my strange violet eyes, knowing full well that they seem larger and pleading. This is a habit too.
I can hear him sigh like he does all the time when he is annoyed or exasperated with me (I hear it a lot). Then he proceeds to leave me, walking out the door with a shake of his head. But I follow him, my invisible talk wagging back and forth. Sure, I look childish, but being a child is the only time I can smile and feel happiness.
-End chapter- I want my sweets...
