Just another RENTfic

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing, I tell you!

"He-lllooo Mark!" Maureen leapt into the loft because she can defy time and space, duh. And, of course, she is always hyper and clingy despite the fact that she is dating Joanne.

She immediately began to grip his legs tightly and refused to let go. He didn't mind, however, because he was stoned out of his mind. He had also become a mime, and so couldn't yell at her anyway.

Roger was, of course, being angsty and depressing. When is he not? I mean, his girlfriend gave him AIDs and killed herself! You'd be angsty too.

He was also playing his guitar. What was he playing? Well, thank you for asking. He was playing a completely SUCK song by the authoress. 'Don't be so hard on yourself, Authoress. You are sooo cool.'

Yeah, that's what you're thinking.

Actually, this song was SUCK, because not only did it SUCK, it was entitled SUCK. It went something like this:

"SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK SUUUUUCK"

And he so played Musetta's Waltz, thus ensuing a tear-cry moment. So, start sobbing.

NOW THAT WE ARE DONE, let us re-enter the living room- actually, the everything room, because it is a loft, and a loft includes one room. Where do they go to the bathroom? Who cares! They're all bisexual anyway.

So, with Maureen still clinging to Mark, who was now 'pulling a rope'. Tee hee. Mimes are fun.

So, as we come back to reality- or, er, this strange parallel dimension we are in- Collins and Angel enter the room.

Collins took one look at the scene- Maureen clinging to Mark's legs, who apparently was inside a small box, Roger crying over his guitar (Did we mention that loft's only have one room, despite the fact that it had two before?) and that creepy guy from American Beauty filming everyone from a corner and muttering under his breath- Did we mention him? Oh, don't worry, he's everywhere you are- dropped his joint (Did we mention he constantly smokes weed?), calmly grabbed Roger's guitar, and beat them all to death with it, including Angel, who has done nothing in this fanfiction to contribute to society.

Benny, having decided it was time to collect the rent again, opened the door.

Seeing the dead bodies sprawled everywhere, Collins joint still smoking on the ground, he decided one thing.

"That's it. I'm becoming a hermit."

A/N: Did that make any sense at all? No, but it wasn't supposed to. It started as a parody of all RENT fanfictions and ended up as a bloody deathfest. Please, for the love of god, review. It makes the days in this padded bunker all the more bearable.