Mistake of Light
Chapter Three: Keep the door closed and lights on at night
I keep having these dreams lately, dreams that are most unpleasant. Maybe they're not dreams, they're nightmares. They're one of the many things troubling me now, but it doesn't change really, I am still thinking about Muraki. Muraki is the one in my dreams. AHH! How I want to scream! How I want to strangle that man!
In my dreams, he does things to me in which I cannot get out of my head. I don't want to remember but I can't forget. The way he makes my body shiver with complete fear. The painful fire that develops when he speaks into my ear, whispering devilish words of all the things he wants to do to me. And how he makes me think I would rather die than to be taken by him. My heart shatters when he runs his hands down my chest, those hands that are strangely warm. Everywhere, every part of me, I can't escape from him. I can't walk away, run away; I can't even take my mind away. Terrorizing me with his laughs that ring from my ears down to my spine. I would kill myself if I had the chance.
But what I fear the most is not what happens in the dream but the end of the dream. Every time, he takes me and I can't get away. I struggle but it is as to him that I'm not moving. Then a horrifying image plays across my vision with Hisoka's face, a disconcerting face. I see him turning his back on me, and with a silent scream I am made to come back to reality with the pain piercing my heart. Panting, I would fear because I remember every aspect of the dream as if it was true, as if it just happened. Holding myself, as if to keep myself together, I would tell myself that it wasn't real, that it will not happen. And then for the rest of the night, I wouldn't be able to sleep; I would just keep thinking and wouldn't stop. I would usually feel hot and cold, wrapping the covers around me for security.
The more I think the more I feel like I'm reliving the experience. Sometimes tears run down my face at recalling the pain and most of all Hisoka's face disregarding me.
Hisoka...how much pain did he suffer from Muraki? I would like to do anything to make his pain go away, to take his pain; I wouldn't mind suffering for him. My heart constricts at the thought of how Muraki tortured him. For many dying people and the dead I feel sympathy. For Hisoka, I can only say it's more since I love him so. I do love him, and I'll protect him; that will not change. And if I can protect him, there is a chance that he will stay with me.
-End chapter three- My only hope is that he doesn't leave me...
I don't know why these chapters are so short, usually I have a lot of say like my other fics. This one's the shortest. I don't get it really. I hope the next chapter is longer; I have a feeling that it might...
