Disclaimer: Not mine.

Authors Note: Sorry about the massive delay. I should be able to do weekly updates now. Thank you all so much for the reviews. Please let me know what you think. Thank you!

Sara pulled Grissom's car into his driveway and put it in park. She looked over and couldn't stop herself from staring at the sight before her. Grissom had fallen asleep, or passed out rather, just after they left the bar. His head was turned so that Sara could see his face. So many emotions passed through her – longing for the man she knew she could never have and frustration with not understanding why; loving him still even though and more frustration with not understanding why. The usual Grissom involved emotions that go through her. He looked so peaceful just sleeping there. She didn't know why, but she started to feel a bit guilty for looking at him without his permission, like she was doing something wrong. She shook her head then decided to wake him up. There was no way she was going to carry him and she certainly didn't feel right with leaving him in the car.

She gently put her hand to the right side of his face. She called his name and got no response. She began to rub her thumb against his cheek, hoping that would help in waking him. Instead, she realized touching him was not such a good idea. She was starting to get too much pleasure from it, and the guilt came back. Just as she decided to withdraw her hand his eyes flashed open. She blushed with embarrassment.

"Um…hi, we're home. Well, your home that is. My home is well…" As she trailed off she cleared her throat. "You think you can make it inside?"

He hadn't moved a muscle, his eyes fixed on her. He didn't answer her and she was becoming incredibly nervous. She undid her seatbelt and started to get out of the car when his hand stopped her. She looked to his hand then met his eyes.

"Thank you, Sara, for everything. You know, I don't deserve you."

She wasn't quite sure what to say. His hand was still latched onto her arm. She knew he had to be drunk but he spoke so clearly and seemed so sincere. Who knows, maybe Grissom just has a high tolerance for alcohol, a very high tolerance.

"Um, look Griss, you don't have to thank me. Let's just get you inside. Okay?"

He closed his eyes and gave her a slight nod. By the time she made it around to his side of the car, he was out and leaning against it. His eyes met hers again and she cursed herself for not being able to look away. "I'm not drunk Sara. Yeah, I've had a few drinks, but I know what I'm saying…" He paused and put a hand on her cheek. "…and I know what I'm doing."

Her knees suddenly became weak and she tried to speak but couldn't find her voice. He looked around and then spoke. "But since you seem to think I've had too much to drink, I'll let you make me some coffee." He removed his hand from her cheek and took a step then lost his footing and fell back against the car. That was enough to snap her out of it. She grabbed him around his waist and let out a small laugh. She was pleased to see the smile on his face too.

"Okay, Mr. I'm not drunk. I guess I do need to help you inside."

"Yeah, I think I'll let you." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she put an arm around his waist and walked him to the front door. Once they got inside he told her to make herself comfortable. He stumbled off to the bathroom.

She decided coffee wasn't such a bad idea. She fumbled around his kitchen and surprisingly found everything she needed. While waiting for the coffeemaker to do its thing, she found herself pondering a few questions. Is this really happening? What was with him touching my cheek? Should I really be here? Maybe I can leave now? Maybe I should leave now? She shook her head and spoke out loud. "No, this isn't about me. He needs to talk about what's bothering him. I have to be here for him."

"What if it is about you?"

She jumped at the voice and quickly turned around grabbing her chest. "Jesus, Grissom! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry." He took a seat at the breakfast bar. He rubbed his hands through his hair. "Sara, I need to talk to you. I…I don't want to make you uncomfortable but…I need you to know what's going on with me."

To say she was stunned beyond belief would be an understatement. "Um, okay. But, how is this about me?"

"Not all of it, but partly. This is going to be a long story but, if you have the time, I'd like to get it out." He sighed. "I need to get it out."

She was very confused and a little scared at what he had to tell her. She spoke softly then moved close enough to him so that she could put a hand on his. "Grissom, I'm here for as long as you need me. You know that."

He smiled. "I know. I don't understand, but I know." His smile quickly left his face as he began to tell his story. "I've never told anyone this before, but I've been a father."

She almost spilled their coffee that she was pouring. "Father, as in fathering a child?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, Sara. His name was Anthony." He paused and smiled as he thought of him.

She knew this was going to be difficult. Her heart broke for him but she knew she needed to be strong for him. She took a seat next to him and waited for him to continue.

"I was seeing this girl in college, Lynn. She was the first woman to get my attention. We went out for awhile then things started to get serious. Before I knew it, I wanted one thing and she wanted the opposite. She said we were still in college, that she didn't want to settle down with one guy yet. She said she still had a lot of life to live. So, I broke it off with her. Two months later she came to my door and said she was pregnant with my baby." He took a deep breath and sipped some of his coffee. "We uh…we decided to be friends for our unborn child's sake. She let me go to her doctor appointments with her and I was there when he was born."

Sara looked up in time to see a tear run down his cheek. She couldn't take it anymore, she had to touch him. She put her hand on his back and began to rub in gentle, soothing circles, trying to give him the strength to continue.

He wiped his face and drank some more of his coffee. "After Anthony was born, she started fooling around with the wrong crowd. She got into drugs and before I got a chance to get Anthony away from her, he was dead." He couldn't stop the flow of tears. "It turned out that uh…one of her boyfriends had suffocated him with a pillow to get him to stop crying." He looked up to see Sara's face red and tearstained.

"God, Grissom. This case…"

"Yeah. I just can't take it anymore Sara. I…I can't keep seeing these kids and the sorry excuses for parents that hurt them. I just cannot do it again. I won't do it anymore"

She didn't know how he handled it in the past, but she definitely agreed he shouldn't work these cases anymore. Or wait, he is just talking about these specific cases isn't he? There's no way he would leave CSI, is there?

"What are you saying Griss?"

He looked to her and smiled. "I think I need a change. I've decided to start teaching again, full time." He paused to gauge her reaction. He had expected her to yell at him for thinking about leaving CSI, to try to talk him out of it.

"Wow. How long have you thought about this?"

"Off and on, for the past year or so. This case just helped in finalizing my decision. Ecklie will have my resignation on his desk tomorrow. I uh…I'm also hoping my new change will help in another aspect of my life." He looked to her and took her right hand in his; her left hand was still on his back. "Sara, please…please tell me I'm not too late."

She closed her eyes. "Grissom, this is all so overwhelming." She felt him tense and try to take his hand back but she tightened her grip. She opened her eyes to see his confused expression. "No, Grissom, you're not too late. God, you could never be too late. But this… is all just so damn overwhelming. For so many years I could barely get you to talk about the weather, let alone anything personal. And… and now you tell me about your son and you quitting and wanting there to be more between us. It's just a lot to take in." She squeezed his hand again. "Just give me a second." She smiled at him warmly.

He nodded and understood. "Do you want to move over to the couch? It'll be more comfortable and I think we have a lot more to talk about." She saw the sincerity in his eyes. She agreed and he excused himself to the bathroom again. She grabbed their coffee mugs and refilled them.

As she put the mugs down on the coffee table she sensed his presence. She looked up saw him staring at her from the hallway. She looked closer and saw that he had a picture in his hand. She smiled and sat down. He sat down next to her and handed her the picture. It was a very young Gil Grissom holding a baby, who she assumed was Anthony. She was right. Her eyes started to fill with tears again. She looked to him and found her voice. "Is…is this Anthony?" After he nodded she continued. "Grissom, how old was he when he died?"

He took a deep breath and choked out an answer. "Fourteen months."

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, both with eyes full of unshed tears. Then she pulled him into an awkward hug. "God, Grissom. I am so sorry. I wish I could take all the pain away."

He pulled away just enough to look at her. "You are Sara, not all of it, but you're helping. Thank you." He leaned into her and tenderly kissed her lips. It was quick but it was enough for now.

She smiled and curled into him with her head on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around him. "Good."

"Sara, this is going to sound like I'm moving really fast but, please, just hear me out." She lifted her head to look at him. "Will you sleep with me tonight? Just sleep, I promise. I just…I don't want you to go and I don't know how much longer I can stay awake."

She grinned and lifted herself off the couch. She held out her hand to him without saying a word. He smiled and they walked to his room hand in hand.