May 1997
The courtyard is not where I would have usually chosen to study. I flip through the pages of my newest textbook. I sigh, usually better at concentrating than this. Instead I move, letting myself swing on the covered garden swing, enjoying the grounds that my family does little to upkeep, but nonetheless enjoy regularly.
"Bonjour Monsieur Lalonde." I greet the elderly neighbour from downstairs as he enters the courtyard carrying a large suitcase. I don't even need to look up. I recognize his walk.
"Allo Delphine." He waves behind him, a girl approaching, with short dark hair and large glasses. "This is our new host student, Cosima."
"Hey! I mean, bonjour." The girl tries to correct herself, her accent is awful, American probably, but she seems pleasant enough as she crosses the courtyard to shake my hand. She wears a short red dress over tights with clunky boots. Multiple rings litter her fingers. I take a moment to take her in. Not quite what I was expecting.
"Bievenue Cosima. Enchantée." I greet her with the same words that I have used on the last six students to live with André and Marie-Claire Lalonde. It was always the same story, they'd come, they'd practice their French, inevitably I would be asked to show them around, I would, and the boys would try to sleep with me. They would get angry or annoyed when I refused. The one other girl they'd had had shown little interest in me, once I'd shown her around. She'd taken an unsurprising interest in my younger brother Sebastien and the two of them had spent the last three weeks of her time here making love as loudly and obnoxiously as possible.
Cosima smiles back, taking my hand, "Enchantée."
"See?" André grinned, "You've made a friend already."
This is, of course, bullshit. Cosima is just another in a line of students just passing through. She'll probably try to bed Sebastien within two weeks, and then there will be an inevitable falling out. And I will have to listen to all of it. The screaming. The headboard hitting the wall. The inevitable fighting and sulking. I cannot say I am looking forward to any of it, so I say nothing. Perhaps, perhaps Cosima will surprise me.
She's led away, into the building. She's lucky to have been placed in such a nice area. I return my attention to the book, not used to reading this material in English, I find myself exhausted by it.
I wake to a small hand gently shaking her shoulder.
"Umm Delphine. Tu va … umm you're going to burn if you don't wake up." Cosima's voice rings clearly as I blink my eyes, blearily forcing myself up off the bench.
"Oh… Merci. I'm sorry. I - I forgot. And I am not supposed to speak to you in English." I apologize quickly, myself up to her feet.
"Honestly?" Cosima giggled, "My French sucks... I actually decided to do this exchange to bum around Europe by train on the weekends. And like meet people."
I smile back, "You're not the first one." I admit with a wry grin. I think back to those boys, their stupid lines and interest in bedding French women more than their studies. One had travelled to Italy and Germany on the weekends, managing to have several small affairs in the months he was here. He'd tried with me too, but ultimately I'd left him unsatisfied.
"But I'm like happy to end up near you. I mean, they're nice old people you know. But having you upstairs kind of makes it for me. I mean, Marie-Claire said you're nice to us students, that you show us around when you have the time." Cosima shifts, almost nervously as if she expects me to reject her outright. It's a funny thing to say, when we've only just met.
I laugh. "Yes. I do."
"Mostly guys though, they said. I hope you'll, like, show me around anyway. I mean, I see you're reading some pretty cool shit."
"You like genetics?" I ask. Cosima certainly seems intent on eyeing my book, left open on the swing next to me.
"I am going into my second year at Berkeley. Bachelor of science in life sciences."
"Same… Well biochemistry, and here in Paris." I nod.
"Let me guess, you're going to be a doctor?" Cosima looks me over curiously.
"That is the plan." I respond with a smile. "Medical school. My parents want that for me. And I want it too…" More than that, it's what is expected of me.
Cosima reads easily between the lines. "But?"
"Maybe… maybe there's more to learn or do. Maybe I want to work in research." I wonder aloud. Certainly I wouldn't have to deal with nearly as many people that way. But it wasn't what was planned.
"I don't know what I want to do yet. I like my anthropology courses a lot. Biology or chemistry is probably more useful though." Cosima tilts her head. "I think it's OK to just figure it out as you go. I mean, there's plenty to do in the sciences. And if I struggle I'll just go into experimental cloning. I mean if I don't mind 277 attempts for one cloned sheep." Cosima laughs at her own joke.
"I see you've been reading about Dolly too." Delphine laughs before continuing. "You don't feel the need to plan?"
"Not now." Cosima laughs. "So… are you going to show me how to get to campus?"
"I can do that. But don't you have a map? You always have maps. The students I mean. And it's easy, we take the metro."
Cosima winces. "I'm like really bad at reading maps. I will end up halfway across the city in the wrong direction bad."
Something about Cosima makes me respond quickly, wanting to put an end to her fear of getting lost in Paris. "I'll help you!" I tell her firmly. "I won't let you get lost."
"Good." Cosima agrees, looking at me intently. I find myself feeling oddly at ease, despite the intensity. Perhaps this would be different than usual.
"Hey, Delphine!" Cosima meets me outside the science building on campus. She's been learning her way around well for the last week. Certainly well enough to figure out where to fnd me.
"Bonjour Cosima." I look up, I can't deny that I am pleased to see her.
"You just finish a lab?" Cosima wonders aloud, quickly moving to keep pace with me as I exit the building.
"Yes. All done." I nod. I should be studying in the library. But something stops me. Maybe, maybe there is time for just a little fun.
"You done class for the day?" I ask. I know most days Cosima will only have courses in the morning. It's her job to occupy the rest of her own time here. Though I am fairly certain they run some sort of activities for the students. Whether they attend is another story.
"Yes. And I spoke French or tried to all morning. Let me talk English?" Cosima asks hopefully. "Otherwise we cannot manage to talk genetics or cloning. No way. I do not have that sort of vocabulary in French yet."
"What are you up to? In your classes?" I ask, wondering just where Cosima's French ability is sitting at present.
"We're up to the imparfait and passé composé. It's still review for me. Which is good. But much more and I will be lost." Cosima smiles wryly.
"You can do it. You're clever." I try to assure her.
Cosima stops, scuffling one boot on the ground as she asks. "Want to grab some food?"
"Yes." I answer decisively. "I would."
"Great. I'm like starving." Cosima smiles again. "And lunch with you sounds pretty perfect."
I blush, unable to help myself. Cosima certainly seemed inclined to flatter me.
I lead on, to a spot not far from campus. One that I know Cosima will enjoy, and likely want to introduce the other summer exchange students to.
"Oh perfect." Cosima looks around when we arrive. "C'est...parfait?"
"Oui." I nod, and quickly order for myself. I watch Cosima do the same. She occasionally stumbles over her words but manages fine without my help. Her pronunciation is fine, but heavily accented. It may improve over the four months she'll spend here.
"So, still dreaming of pushing through your degree and doing med school as quickly as possible?"
"Yes." I nod quickly. "I even started university early. At 17. I'll be done with my baccalaureate when I am 20. Then I'll start medical school the following term." I tell this to Cosima quickly. This is something everyone knows. Something my musician brother cannot fathom doing at all, but it is expected of me.
"You start early and you're still working through the summers to speed it up?" Cosima tilts her head at me, a cautious look on her face. "Why?"
"Because I want it." I answer honestly. "I want it over with, I'll be a doctor. My parents will be delighted I amounted to something. And then… then I will figure out what I want to do with it."
"You'll have choices in medicine. Yeah." Cosima agrees. "But… you won't be reading about genetics and cloning much."
"Probably not." I agree. Unless I find a way to get back into research, I add quietly to myself. Perhaps medical research wasn't quite as prized as being a medical doctor. But I could do both.
"I think you could do with having more fun, Delphine Cormier." Cosima tells me bluntly. "I am going to make it my personal mission to get you to have more fun and slack off a bit while I am here."
"But my courses…"
"Won't suffer. I have to study too, right? But we'll find the time." Cosima tells me. I watch her take a bite of her sandwich, the smile on her face makes it worth it. "Oh god. This is delicious."
"The pastry is too." I tell her softly. "It's from a patisserie across town."
"I will definitely try that." Cosima agrees.
"What do you miss about California?" I ask, swinging my legs from the bar stool at the cafe. I don't know that much about Cosima yet, and it seems I will have the chance to learn.
"Other than my friends?" Cosima gets a mischievous look on her face.
I startle briefly at the look. "What? What is it?"
"I'm going to miss sex. Definitely." Cosima tells her bluntly.
"Why? You'll have opportunities here. Plenty of them." I laugh. "You're an Americaine in France. You'll have men interested." I leave out the 'fille façile' reputation Americans have here. Aside from that, Cosima is beautiful and vibrant, she'll have plenty of offers.
Cosima becomes briefly awkward. "I'm…. I'm sort of involved with someone back home."
"Oh!" I try to contain my surprise. I shouldn't be. Clearly Cosima and I have our differences. That could complicate her trip, it had for others.
"I … I can't really. It would be wrong." Cosima tells her softly. "And I don't want to ruin things because come September? I'll be back home."
"It could just be for fun. You don't need to worry about a sort of someone back home." A sort of someone, I thought, didn't sound like enough of a reason if sex what otherwise something Cosima wanted to be having. But perhaps Cosima was in love with him. That is probably enough. At least she'll want a friend, I rationalize to myself. I'll be able to spend more time with her that way.
"Like I'm going to just have to live like a pathetic virgin for four months." Cosima scoffs. "I haven't gone that long ever."
"Virgins are pathetic." I agree instantly. Maybe I am pathetic. I certainly waited long enough that it was now a problem. And I certainly don't want Cosima to know that . Why would I want to embarrass myself by admitting the truth in front of this impossibly cool girl?
"So just no boyfriend right now…? You just get it on with whatever man you like whenever you want?" Cosima looks me over curiously. "I just… I figured you'd probably be the boyfriend type."
"Not anymore. And yes, why deny myself pleasure?" That much is true. There have been no boyfriends in a long time. The latter sounds more like one of my school friends. Not me. I had considered using the exchange students, it had been the suggestion of a school friend. Have sex with them, lose your virginity, get some experience under your belt and then wave goodbye at the end of their term. I'd come close once, but ultimately backed out. And it was getting embarrassing.
Cosima takes a breath, observing me cautiously. "I'm a lesbian."
For a short moment I am stunned by Cosima's revelation, but I try to brush it off nonchalantly. It shouldn't be, after all. Homosexuality exists and I am not an ignorant person. This is France, such things have long been tolerated as long as they're quietly out of sight. Who cares who Cosima wants to make love to? It shouldn't make a difference.
"Alright. This is Paris… you still won't have much of a problem finding willing lovers." I shrug. There was a gay community definitely, I just hadn't bothered thinking much about it.
"I know… here. I want to go to Berlin too. I was told it was a good place to be a lesbian." Cosima mulls this over. "But, I don't want to make my sort-of girlfriend angry. She's so pissed I even went to France."
"You should go anyway." I urge her. "Enjoy yourself. Profitiez-bien d'être ici. Who cares if you have sex or not. There's so much to see."
"When do you enjoy yourself? Any time I see you, you're home or on campus." Cosima looks me over. She leans over on one arm, her free hand gesturing. A very not-american mannerism of hers I find quite endearing.
"Whenever I want." I respond crossing my arms. That isn't exactly a lie. I just don't want to.
Cosima laughs easily. "But how?"
"Other than sex?" I ask unable to keep a laugh from my voice. "I study a lot. I read. Sometimes I go out. You have a lot to see and explore here. France is beautiful. And it's cheap to take the train into Germany or Italy too… you can do a lot while you're here."
"Hmm… maybe we'll find some fun things to keep us both entertained. As long as you aren't too busy." Cosima giggles at me. "We could go to a club! Or… La Louvre. Or both… I mean you'll show me all the sights right?"
"I will happily play tourist with you." I agree with a small smile. This, this will be fun.
