We spend Cosima's second weekend in France at Musée D'Orsay. Monsieur and Madame Lalonde were pleased as usual that I had taken a polite interest, and was making sure their guest saw and enjoyed Paris. I was saving the Eiffel tower until it gets just a bit warmer, but unlike some of the previous students Cosima doesn't try to push me. Doesn't ask to see particular parts of Paris. Simply asks me 'Where next?' and is happy to come along. Cosima was a joy to be around, and I found myself trying to schedule more blocks of free time for our adventures.

"OK. I actually find that way less overwhelming than La Louvre." Cosima admits to me with a wry grin. "I swear I'm still going to have to go back to La Louvre another half dozen times to try to see anything. And.. the Mona Lisa does nothing for me as a painting."

"You're not the only one." I giggle. But it's getting late."

"You have to go?" Cosima notices me checking my watch and asks. "So… hot date?"

I snort briefly, before responding honestly. "I am supposed to be home for dinner. I said I would be. It doesn't matter. Sébastien won't be but… he is a musician. I guess it's expected of him."

"Maybe. Maybe being the brainiac kid has its disadvantages." Cosima shrugs. "I need a favour."

"Anything." I had given up speaking French with Cosima, at least when we weren't being watched. Not that she couldn't but it was so much easier for her, and her desire to bend the rules a little somehow didn't bother me.

"What time is it back in California?" Cosima asks me, while looking like she's intently trying to calculate the difference herself.

"Euh… subtract… nine hours?" I offer somewhat helpfully.

"I need to make a call." Cosima looks at me with a small grimace as we stroll back towards the metro station.

"So… make a call." I gesture towards the nearest pay phone. Certainly, that is not complicated.

"I want you to...guard the phone. I don't really want the Lalondes' knowing. And… It's private."

"I won't listen." I promise. "I'll just… hang around."

"Thanks Delphine. Tu es tres gentille." Cosima compliments me, and even her atrocious accent makes me smile. I cannot help it, Cosima's joie de vivre is contagious. I was enjoying my stint as volunteer tour guide more than ever before. And maybe, maybe that was enough.

Cosima dials, still jittery, and I sigh. I don't really need to bear witness to Cosima calling her lover back home. It seems inappropriate, so I turn my back and people watch for a while instead. But the conversation becomes difficult to ignore.

"Hey Lori." Cosima begins. "Yeah… yes I know you told me not to go to fucking Paris. I know… Yes. Can we just talk… for like ten minutes?"

Less than ten minutes into Cosima's call I began to regret my decision. Certainly, Cosima didn't actually need me to guard the pay phone while she made expensive long distance transatlantic calls. And this call seemed like it was not going well. This was uncomfortable and it was far more than Cosima's lover being a woman.

It leaves me uneasy. I had imagined a great love story for my incredible, passionate, energetic Cosima. What I was forced to witness seemed very off.

"You know I love you!" Cosima says loudly into the phone. "I just… it was an amazing opportunity for me. And…. that's not fair Lori! You… you have your Master's convocation. You have big things going on this summer… Yeah I know I am going to miss it. We can celebrate in September when I get back...No. I haven't!"

"Cosima are you OK?" I ask softly under my breath. I find myself disliking this Lori more and more by the minute. Cosima had to see that whatever romance shr had had was waning into something else.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Cosima tells me, brushing off my concern. "That's Delphine. Her family live in the apartment above my host family."

I sigh and avert my eyes again, but it does nothing to block Cosima's voice, as the conversation turns again.

"No. Delphine is my friend. Lori… Lori… stop." Cosima begs quietly into the phone. "I only have so long… I don't want to fight with you. You know I'm yours… Wait? What? You slept with who?!"

Cosima's voice goes quiet again, and I try hard not to listen. This is not my business. And Cosima deserves her privacy.

"Yeah. OK. I love you too. I'll… I'll try to call again next week. Bye baby." Cosima hangs up the phone finally.

"I… I am sorry." I offer softly, moving to put one hand on Cosima's shoulder as she exits the phone booth.

"It's...it's fine. Lori is like that sometimes. She can be kind of intense." Cosima tells me, brushing it off.

"She sounded very angry." I summarize quickly. I wonder if the call was even worth it, but when I look at Cosima she seems calm about it again.

"She is. She… she didn't want me to go on this exchange. Even though it's only four months." Cosima sighs. "And… she's older. I'm going to miss her Master's convocation. And… she gets jealous pretty easy."

"What does she have to be jealous of?" I raise my eyebrows.

"I… I get attention back at Berkeley. From girls. From guys… She hates it. Like I cannot even go out with my friend Karen anymore. It's a little excessive but she's ...scared I think." Cosima shrugs. "And I am younger so she… she thinks I am looking for the next thing. And… I'm not."

"Sounds… complicated."

"It is…" Cosima nods. "Anyway. Let's hop the metro home. I bet the Lalonde's have dinner ready for me. I haven't called them to say I wouldn't be home.

"How old is Lori?" I cannot stop myself from wondering. Maybe I should just let it go.

"Uh.. like 25." Cosima brushes it off. "I turned 20 in March. It's not like a huge gap. She just… gets like this."

"Non. Not huge." I agree. But it is significant, perhaps. "How long have you been together."

"Umm a year-ish." Cosima wiggles her fingers as she gestures out to the side. "It's kind of hard to draw the line to exactly when things changed. We met through the LGBTQ centre on campus, volunteer stuff."

I nod pleasantly. And wonder just what Cosima sees in someone who can be that angry with her. But perhaps I have just seen a fight. A bad day.

"Anyway. Lori… Lori will get over it. She'll apologize and cry on the phone and tell me she needs me." Cosima smiles at me, seeming very calm. "This.. this is just another fight."

"D'accord." I agree, switching back to my native tongue as we approach the metro.

"Anyway. I was wondering, can I borrow some of your books?"

"Like… text books?" I ask curiously. "They are mostly in French, Cosima. You might find it very challenging."

"Like… French children's books. Start me off nice and easy. Maybe some newspaper articles." Cosima laughs.

"Come home with me, I'll find the old boxes." I offer. That much I can do.


We laugh hard as we descent out of the attic. We'd thumped around going through boxes for the better part of an hour. It was impossible not to play along, to have fun.

"Passe-moi la boîte." I urge Cosima in French, motioning for her to pass me the box. Cosima hands it down to me and then clambers down herself. She reaches for my hand to help her down the last few steep stairs, and I offer it gladly with a giggle.

We look a mess, slightly dusty from the attic. A box of childhood books, of contes and fairy tales in my hands.

"Delphine!" My maman looks me over in horror.

"Quoi?" I ask innocently, when she shakes her head at me.

My maman looks at Cosima and then back at me, she sighs, and reminds me. "Your cousin's wedding is next weekend, Delphine. What were you two doing in the attic?" My mother looks over Cosima, taking in the grunge look, the short hair, the thick glasses. Her expression shows that she finds Cosima far less impressive than I do.

"I should go. Merci pour les livres, Delphine.. I'll umm… return them later." Cosima excuses herself awkwardly and quickly heads downstairs to exit the building and return to the Lalonde's apartment.

"Elle est un peu bizarre." Maman makes her opinion of Cosima clear. "None of the other American girls looked like that."

"I think the last girl.. I think she was Canadian, maman." I answer in English. "The one that Sebastien liked." Liked, was an understatement. Though, Sebastien and Tina had spent most of their free time in his bed. Not exploring Paris.

"I remember her." Maman nods. "Belle fille. Un peu bruyante." She wrinkles her nose for a moment and I laugh.

How maman could forget was the question. If I had to listen to my brother have that much loud sex ever again I was going to move out.

"Do you have a date for the wedding yet?" Maman asks me instead. The English probably to keep Papa from catching on to whatever we were discussing. "What about Marc? He keeps asking you out. Il est beau, Delphine."

"Non. I don't want to go out with Marc." I grimace. Marc has been asking me out every few weeks for the last six months since he came to Paris from Geneva. If I asked him, I would never get rid of him now.

Maman looks at me and sighs. "I said you were bringing a date when I RSVP'd two months ago. I thought… I thought Marc would wear you down by now."

An idea strikes me suddenly, and I look my mother straight in the eye. "I'll have a date. I'll bring Cosima."

My mother looks at me in horror for a moment. "But that girl…. Delphine… I think she is…" And she trails off gesturing slightly, perhaps Cosima was far more obvious than she thinks.

"She's what, maman? It will be good for Cosima's French practice to come with us." I add innocently, furrowing my eyebrows. The perfect picture of the obedient daughter.

My maman sighs, shaking her head. "C'est rien, ma grande. Don't worry about it."

And I know, like it or not, Cosima will be coming with us.