Biker Mice from Mars

Hard Luck Trilogy

Part 3

What's His frequency Karbunkle?

Chapter 10

Floating high above the Earth in a stationary orbit, carefully hidden behind Alien Cloaking and sensory Scrambling Devices so that none of the Missile Firing Monkeys on the planet below had any idea it was there, sat the Massive, and Ugly Plutarkian Storage Bin!

Sitting up on top of one of the vertical support struts of the bin sat The Current Limburger Tower, just above the long transparent dimensional matter transporter tube of the bin's massive bucket-like storage area.

Near the top of the tower sat Limburger's Large Corner Office, and in the office sat the just as Massive and Ugly Plutarkian, Lawrence Limburger himself. Limburger was sitting at his desk with his fat finny feet upon it while he leaned back in his chair and stuffed his fat face with his favorite snack, slime worms.

He was giving his latest progress report to his boss, the Plutarkian Command High Chairman, Lord Camembert, who was currently staring back at Limburger from his side of the Supersized Communications screen in the office that took up almost the entirety of one wall.

Camembert was doing his best to bite back his anger as he took in Limburgers annoying report, which was full of frustrating pride and self-praise. Limburger knew this and was milking it for all he could.

"And as you can see from the details of my report, being given to you via my Scientific Sycophant, Dr. Karbunkle, I have been delivering copious amounts of valuable materials from the city of Chicago, which I am so Proficiently and Promptly Leveling completely unhindered." He said with false modesty.

Limburger paused in his pompous self-promoting prattling to shove another handful of slime-worms into his mouth and to give Camembert a just as slimy sneer. Camembert was biting back his frustration at having to sit thru this. He much preferred the more normal discourse where he was the one getting act superior to the normally constantly failing Limburger.

Karbunkle standing over in a corner with his ever-present floating console was busy transmitting Limburgers Delivery Info across the vast distances in between Earth and Plutark, and for once wasn't exaggerating the actual amounts.

"Yes, we are most, satisfied, with your current miraculous turns of fortune." Camembert grumbled with a scowl on his fishy face that all but screamed that he didn't share the same sentiment personally.

Limburger didn't miss this, and he internally relished it, because it wasn't something that happened very often if at all if he were honest with himself. "I humbly appreciate your appreciativeness My Most Beloved High Chairman." He cooed insincerely. He could literally hear Camembert scrape his needle-like teeth together. His sneer grew a few more notches.

He crammed another handful of worms into his mouth and leaned back in his large chair even further, its supports strained under the substantial load being pressed upon it. He could tell that his stroking of Camembert's nerves was reaching a breaking point. Time to deliver another savage strike to them. He was going to enjoy this.

Limburger glanced at Karbunkle and suitably raised an eyebrow. The Doctor nodded his misshapen head and gave a thumbs up. He got more comfortable in his chair, which had the desired effect of just annoying Camembert even more.

"Yes, My Dear High Chairman, as you so unpretentiously pointed out, the irritable initiates of my, erm, somewhat over-exaggerated disappointing delivery of requested materials is at long last in the final process of being decidedly dealt with!" He declared and then waved his hand towards the now rising platform coming up thru the floor right on cue.

Feeling very pleased with himself, Limburger reached down and took a fresh full bowl of Slime Worms from a drawer on his desk. As he shoved more worms into his maw, totally missing the looks that crossed Camembert, and Karbunkle's faces.

"As you can so plainly see, I have at long last apprehended those miserable mice once and for all!" The self-pride was all but oozing off him at this point.

"Mouse." Camembert said flatly. Karbunkle tried to hide behind his floating console. Limburger nearly choked on his worms. "I beg your pardon?" He spluttered. "I said mouse, as in singular, not plural." Camembert replied a tone of anger laced enjoyment in his voice.

"There is only One Mouse on the Platform, not three, and I don't recollect any of them being BLUE!?" He sensed a turn of events, back to a more normal flow and he was looking forward to returning to the status quo.

"WHAT!?" Limburger bellowed as he spun around, and sure enough, instead of 3 mice, there was only one. A blue unconscious one awkwardly, and painfully held against the metal poles.

"Aaahhh!" He cried out as he overbalanced his chair and went crashing onto the floor, sending his big bowl of slime worms flying to splatter all over his office!

"LIMBURGER, what is Going On, Explain Yourself!" Camembert roared out from his side of the now slime worm smeared screen! Limburger vaulted to his feet and bolted around his desk. "Ah, ha-ah!" Thinking fast to keep control of the situation, albeit it now being a big falsehood, or to be more accurate, an out and out LIE!"

"Uh, did I say Mice, why no, no I simply Misspoke, yes, that's it!" He blurted out the words as fast as he could think them! "Far, far too dangerous to keep them all together, No I keep them separated it keeps their morale low, oh yes, I never meant to imply that I Ever had them all together at Once, oh no never!" He was all but stammering uncontrollably at this point.

"Limb..." Camembert started to yell back at him, but Limburger cut him off! "Oh, much to do, calls coming in, and Mice to dispatch, I really must go!"

Limburger made a slashing action, cueing Karbunkle to cut the call! Camembert blipped off the screen a second later. The after image of his reddening face staying on the screen before fading away.

"KARBUNKLE!" He screamed out. "Where are they, why weren't you watching them, this is all your fault!" The scientist gawked back at him from behind his goggles! "My, Fault?!" He shot back. "You told me to come up here and help spice up your progress report, I left that Blue Fool behind to guard them!" He snapped and pointed at the drooling and passed out Hard Luck. Fully laying all the blame on the unlucky Martian.

Limburger turned and stomped over to the platform, clenching his fists, trying to keep his temper from boiling over! "Oh, why does this always happen, WHY!?" He snarled and turned back to Karbunkle.

"I will program the robots to recapture the rodents immediately!" He said quickly and moved to his console. "NO!" Limburger shouted! "Not Capture but Destroy!" His mask almost looked it could start to bubble from the anger cascading off him.

"I want them DEAD!" the office walls shook as he bellowed! "Killed, Murdered, Exterminated, push the robots up to full lethality, they can bring me the gory pieces!" A depraved sneer took hold of Karbunkle's face, and he started inputting commands on his console.

Karbunkle's expression suddenly changed, and he slowly raised his claw-like hands up and stepped back from the panel. "I think we have a more pressing situation to deal with my Cheese Flavored Commandant." He whimpered.

"Situation, what Situation, You dimwitted domestic?" Limburger growled. "The Situation of Me standing behind you with a blaster aimed at the back of your big fat head!" Throttle's raspy voice snarled in reply.

"Oh, That Situation." Limburger groaned and slumped his big shoulders, and slowly raised his hands up into the air as well, and turned to face the Armed Martian behind him. Sure enough, there was a Mouse with a Big Blaster there. Only now it was pointed right at his nose! Being held by a Very Angry Looking Martian.

Limburger stared down the barrel of the blaster literally in front of his nose, then looked up and stared directly at Throttle. "Is there something I can help you with, my dear fellow?" He replied calmly.

Throttle returned his stare and raised a furry eyebrow in mock concentration. "Oh, gosh let me think." He said while pretending to consider the question. "How about you turn off the Killer Robots, let my friends go, and you and your cronies surrender and spend the rest of your filthy lives in a Martian Prison doing Hard Labor?"

"Hmm, Tempting, very tempting, but no, I think I shall decline the offer." Limburger replied with an annoying defiant look on his masked face. "I don't think you quite understand your position Lard Ball, I aint giving you a Choice, claws where I can see 'em Buzzard Boy!" Throttle barked out and pointed the blaster at Karbunkle, whose hands had been slowly moving towards his device floating in front of him.

"I feel that there is something that I should point out…" Karbunkle tried to interject but was quickly interrupted. "Shut Up Karbunkle!" Both Throttle and Limburger shouted out. The Demented Doctor mumbles something under his breath about not being listened to, which no one was doing anyway.

Throttle gave Limburger a push, almost knocking him off his feet only to be saved by bumping into his desk, He then gestured for Karbunkle to join his boss. Karbunkle made to bring his console with him, but a growled "Leave It" from the Mouse with the blaster convinced him to leave it where it was.

The Inventor took a place next to the Plutarkian in front of the desk, and both raised their hands into the air at the prompt of the pointed blaster. Throttle jerked his head towards the platform. "Let him down!" He ordered indicating the knocked-out Hard Luck.

"I need my terminal." The Devious Doctor said while pointing at the just-out-of-reach floating device. "Use the access hatch." Throttle said while pointing at the area with his tail.

Karbunkle looked at the smoking mess of fried circuits and wires. "You're joking, right?" Throttle looked too and a guilty grimace crossed his furry face before quickly putting the serious look back on.

"I really must protest against this most uncivilized and barbaric behavior; I am sure there must be some form of galactic convention or agreements about this sort of callous treatment!" Limburger abruptly interjected. "I don't recall ever signing anything like that." Throttle replied and empathized this by poking Limburger in the nose with his blaster.

"I shouldn't expect any less from you cretinous cave mice." Limburger snarled. "Why we didn't wipe your miserable race from the face of Mars when we had the opportunity baffles me to this day." The Pure Malevolent Hatred all but oozed off The Plutarkian Plunderer as he said it.

"Guess we're just lucky you Slimy Bottom Feeders royally screwed up; I should think you of all Stink Fishes would be used to that by now!" Throttle rasped in response.

"Very Droll for a Diseased Vermin, but I shouldn't expect anything even remotely approaching Clever to be spouted by the likes of You!" Limburger fired back with. Throttle just snorted and shook his head with a disappointed grimace. "I think all the times we've brought this Eye Sore of a Tower down on your Scaly Head has really taken its toll on you Reek Face!" Throttle said with a smirk.

While this little back and forth insult match was going on, Karbunkle had been swiveling his thin hips back and forth in an odd way while sneaking glances past the two insult hurling adversaries. A barely audible click came from his pocket followed by a delighted wheeze escaping from his ugly face.

"Checkmate," Limburger said with a very nasty smile spreading across his fat face. "Oh No!" Throttle sighed. That unpleasant feeling that He just got played for a fool again crept over him. He really HATED that feeling!

He had to admit he hated the feeling of Hard Luck's paws around his throat squeezing the breath out of him more though! "Gurrgghhh!" He choked as Hard Luck tightened his grip as he leaned forward as far as he could.

"Took you long enough you gangrenous gibbon, I wasn't sure I could lower my intellect to keep up that low of a level of verbal debate for much longer! "Limburger complained as he straightened his tie and smoothed his suit out. One must always do one's best to look professional.

"You are just lucky I am such a good dancer." Dr. Karbunkle answered as he took the Robo-Rodent-Remote out of his pocket and pointed it at Hard Luck. A pained expression took hold of the Blue Martian's face as he increased the pressure around Throttle's throat.

"Just stop your feeble excuses and end this tan pest's existence now, if you can be bothered." Limburger moaned annoyingly. Karbunkle shrugged and waved Goodbye at Throttle and slowly pushed a dial-up on the remote.

Throttle, on the verge of passing out, reached up and weakly tried to pry Hard Luck's fingers from his throat! His knees started to wobble! A gasp escaped from him as his feet slid out from under him! Hard Lucks' hold slackened slightly as he let Throttle's knees fall to the floor!

Like a whip cracking, the paw holding the blaster jumped up, and Throttle opened fire at His real adversaries! Energy Bolts Slammed into the walls, desk, and Big Communications Screen on the wall, all of them exploding under the barrage!

"AHH!" Cried out both Limburger and Karbunkle as they threw themselves down to avoid the same fate! Hard Luck's bandage-wrapped tail shot out and wrapped around Throttles blaster holding paw and tried to pull the blaster before it could zap his masters!

Throttle's muscle-filled arm fought against the pull for a few seconds, until the fight ceased and the tail pulled Throttle's arm with it, until Throttle's arm moved with Hard Luck's tail, and blasted away at the platform behind him! A large section of it Exploded and power shut off to the poles magnetically holding Hard Luck captive!

Throttle rolled forward, pulling Hard Luck with him, just as the platform fell thru the shaft in the Tower Floor and exploded as it fell! Hard Luck lost his grip on Throttle and went flying in a disjointed somersault in a tangle of arms, legs, and tail!

Hard Luck crashed into the Floating Console, shattering it in an explosion of sparks and shattered electronic components! "NOOOO!" Cried out both Limburger and Karbunkle! Karbunkle for the horror of seeing a beloved piece of technology destroyed, and Limburger for the fact that he was once again losing control of the situation!

Limburger charged forward and tried to wrench the blaster out of the dazed Throttle's paw! A tug of war broke out between the Muddled Martian and the Panicking Plutarkian!

"Give me that weapon, you moronic mole!" Limburger yelled. Karbunkle stabbed a bony finger at the buttons on the Robo-Rodent-Remote! "Get Up, Get Up, Get UP!" He whined, trying to force Hard Luck up to help out his embattled employer!

"Uuuhh, nuhhh!" Hard Luck whimpered as he feebly rolled back and forth, further crunching the crushed console under his metal spine, and scarred back. Karbunkle snarled, shoved his remote into a pocket, and knelt and tried to lift Hard Luck up by his shoulders! "Get up you good for nothing gaffer!

Meanwhile, the epic battle between Throttle and Limburger continued! Each had both hands wrapped around the much fought-for blaster which waved around, with the dangerous part thankfully pointed up at the ceiling!

Each was doing their best to rectify this and point it at the other! Horrifyingly, Limburger was Winning this fight! Throttle, after the extremely tiring and painful last couple of days, who would normally easily outmuscle the overweight Limburger, just didn't have the energy left in him to win this!

"Yes, yes, yes!" Limburger all but squealed with delight as he used his massive frame to slowly pull the blaster down towards Throttle's head! "Just a Few more inches!" He was literally salivating as he forced the blaster down, getting closer, and closer to messily making the Martian's head into a fried mess!

Throttle's head cleared slowly as he struggled against the Fish and the pressure pushing the blaster towards his head! Thinking quick, he did the first thing that came to mind! He jerked his head forward and bite Limburger right on his nose! His big mouse teeth sinking in deep!

"YEOWCH!" Bellowed Limburger! "By Dose, By Dose, Leb Go By Dose, OUCH!" His big head shaking back and forth!" "Grrr, Grrr!' Throttle growled thru a mouth full! Their tug of war turning into an unbalanced Tumble!

In the Struggle, Limburgers gigantic gut jostled around like a big bowl of jelly on a rollercoaster! His fat bounced around, causing both Throttle, and Himself to lose their grip on the blaster! It flew up above their heads to fall by their feet, and to get kicked and go spinning across the slime-worm-covered floor!

Karbunkle finally managed to get the equally unbalanced Hard Luck up onto his mismatched feet! Limburger pushed at Throttle! Rip went Limburger's Grotesque Human Mask, His true fiendish Fish Face now on full display!

"Ow, ow, ow!" He uttered as he danced around, holding his sore proboscis with both hands! Throttle bent over with paws on his knees, spit out the torn mask, and gagged as he tried to rub the awful taste off his tongue with both paws! "Oh, Cheese, now I know what the Bathrooms of Quigley Stadium must taste like after a BROWNS Game!"

Karbunkle stepped away from the swaying Hard Luck and pulled the Robo-Rodent Remote from his pocket and jabbed at it with a bony finger! "Get HIM!" He yelled and pointed at Throttle!

Hard Luck's head wobbled like his neck was a rubber band, but his painfilled wide open green and yellow eyes tried to focus on his target! His metal antenna arced with electricity! It jumped from his head and slashed across the room, sending sparks and smoke flying as it left a charred scar on the walls and ceiling!

Karbunkle squawked and threw his hands around his head and ducked down to avoid the bolts! Limburger, nose cupped in hands bent over, did the same! Throttle already half ducked took in the situation, and what shelter he could and tried to think of what move he should make!

He half made a dash for the doorway leading out into the hall, while trying to grab the blaster with his tail, but Hard Luck somehow managed to track this and sent a bolt of lightning at the blaster, singing the tip of Throttle's tail!

"Ahh!" He gasped and pulled the smoking end of his tail up and blew on it! An Unhappy look crossed his furry face. He looked at the slowly steadying Blue Martian and the two adversaries in the room. He thought of a plan, and he didn't like it. "Oh man, this is gonna hurt!" He sighed.

He jumped back into the office, right next to the still cowering Limburger, he spun around, putting his backside right into Hard Lucks gaze, the flash of red of Throttle's shorts thru the large ripped and burned hole gave him something to focus on!

Ker-Zap! Another bolt of lightning broke from Hard Luck's Antenna! It hit its target dead center! "YEEOWOUCH!" Throttle yelled as all his fur stood on end! He reached out and grabbed Limburger! The Electrical Current Swirled around them both! "AHHH!" They both cried out!

Limburger's wide back bounced off the remains of his desk, and he and Throttle fell towards Karbunkle! Hard Luck took a step forward, his flesh & fur-booted foot stepped right onto a big pile of extra slimy and slippery slime worms! His foot shot out from beneath him and he tripped forward, his electricity going out of control!

Hark Luck crashed in the Thin Inventor, who let out another squawk as He and his Robo-Rodent-Slave tumbled into the spinning Throttle and Limburger! With a Colossal Thump, all 4 of them smashed into a big pile on the slime-worm-covered floor! Electricity arcing all around them!

Sparks snapped around the pile of bodies for a few seconds before all that was left was a sound of painful moans and a smell of singed flesh, fur, and fish that now permeated the office!

"Ugh, get off me, you addlepated Analyst!" Limburger growled as he pushed Karbunkle off him as he crawled to his knees! Hard Luck, unconscious again, rolled off The Scientist and landed next to the prone but slightly twitching Throttle still laid out on the floor.

"Oh, where is it, where is IT!" He growled as he searched the messy floor, with one hand groping around and the other still holding his sore fish nose. "It's right here." Throttle moaned and held up the big blaster in his right paw and once more pointed it right at the Plutarkian's nose. Limburger's red inhuman eyes grew big before half closing in tired defeat. "Oh, bother." He sighed.

He swiftly turned to yell at Karbunkle to do something, but he was greeted by the Sobbing Scientist, sitting on the floor, and looking at the crushed and broken remains of the Robo-Rodent-Remote in his hook-like fingers. "This just isn't your night is it, Worm Breath?" Throttle laughed while falling back onto an elbow but kept the blaster rocksteady.

A Vicious snarl grew on Limburgers face before it fell off and his fat head fell to the ruined carpet and joined Karbunkle in having a good cry.

TO BE CONTINUED…