Despite our efforts, we wind up on a day train Friday morning. Cosima promises to keep me well entertained for the ride. I wind up quizzing her on her coursework and she helps me with mine. A night train, I think as we while away the last few hours, would have been more fun.

The closer we get to Munich, the more jumpy Cosima seems.

"Cosima… is your Aunt aware of you being lesbian?"

"I doubt it… my parents said they wouldn't tell unless I gave them permission."

"Is that why you're nervous?"

"No. Supposedly Munich is very gay and lesbian friendly… Aunt Ursula is very… liberal. Chances are… it's not a huge issue." Cosima tilts her head. "And I figured we'd just say we were friends… if we think she'll have a problem with it."

"So… what is it?" I ask, now curious what has put Cosima off going to Munich. It seems otherwise like a trip she'd like to take.

"Aunt Ursula is a… nudist. Or a naturist. I cannot remember what word she uses." Cosima winces, head resting in her hands. "Like both her and her husband were... "

"They are… naturalistes?" I repeat imagining the awkwardness that awaits us.

"Aunt Ursula is… her husband had a heart attack like… 20 years ago. I never met him." Cosima shrugs. "But knowing he was a naturist… maybe for the best." Cosima makes a face and I try to resist laughing at the absurdity of it all.

"So… you… went to a nude beach?"

"A clothing optional beach not too far from San Francisco. So you can imagine 12-year-old Cosima being extremely embarrassed."

"Yes. I can." What adolescent wouldn't be?

"I mean… my parents apparently… go to those beaches without me now… but they were at least discreet. Aunt Ursula was just like… naked." Cosma gestures it out, and while her face remains calm her eyes show more than a little distress.

"So… you were...embarrassed."

"Exceedingly." Cosima nods quickly. "After that, seeing Aunt Ursula? No thanks."

The train conductor announces in several languages that we are nearing the station, and we make to gather our belongings. I hold Cosima's hand with my own. I don't want to be apart from her I find. Not at all.

We step out of the train station, it's Friday evening. Ursula had booked us a day train and not a night train. Likely due to costs. The amount of intimacy Cosima and I had been able to have was limited.

I find I am interested in the buildings, the architecture. Munich is old, and beautiful. Cosima too looks around us. It is not a place I have ever been, but it is beautiful. I wonder what Cosima will think of it.

"OK. This is actually pretty cool." Cosima laughs. "I guess we'll get beer and sausages now?"

"We will." I agree quickly. "C'est beau!" I remark happily. And we wait for Cosima's auntie.

"Cosima!" A middle aged woman calls happily. Her hair is sandy and liberally grayed, her body strong looking. I wonder briefly if she resembles Cosima's father and then decide that it does not matter. Cosima recognizes her instantly, she drops my hand and tenses.

"Hi Aunt Ursula… I… brought a friend. This is Delphine." Cosima points to me.

"French? New friend?" Ursula's English is accented but clear. She looks between us quickly and then smiles. "OK. My house has room. Dinner will be good tonight. I made potato dumplings. I remember you loved them."

I nod and look at Cosima. Friends. I guess… I guess that is safer.

"The ...oh those were good. You made them for me every few days when you visited California." Cosima thinks for a minute as she remembers. "Cabbage too?"

Aunt Ursula smiles widely. "Yes Cosima. Cabbage too… Tomorrow I will cook for you and your friend again. Tonight, you get some rest. Long train ride. Do you like beer?"

"Yes. I do." Cosima smiles. And whatever her eccentricities, Ursula is hospitable. She guides us to her car, and drives us home talking about Munich and how much fun we can have in the city the whole time.

"Really beautiful city. Lots to do. University city, so lots of young people." Ursula rattles on about Munich, which was good I think.

I reach to hold Cosima's hand. Thinking we are discreet, Cosima lets me. I wonder why her Aunt doesn't know. Her parents certainly know Cosima is a lesbian.

We climb out of the car, and Aunt Ursual insists on carrying our backpacks. She stops when she reaches the step and looks between us again. " Freundin ?" She looks at Cosima. Prompting her.

"Umm yeah. Freundin." Cosima looks a little sheepish.

"Girlfriend." Ursula nods. "OK. So one bedroom. I won't make up the second bed then. You won't be using it."

Cosima is stunned, and so am I as we are led to Ursula's guest bedroom. A large bed dominates the room and once she's placed our bags down on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed she begins rummaging for a second set of towels.

"So.. you're … OK?" Cosima looks at her aunt.

"Yes. I am OK. I know other homosexuals. It is fine." Ursula brushes her off. "Your cousin's wife has a homosexual brother."

"Really? Andreas or Torsten?" Cosima asks. And while she'd told me she doesn't really know her cousins she is familiar enough with their names.

"Torsten." Ursula responds without comment. "He and Claudia see him often. He is a great uncle to their daughter."

"Yeah… My cousins have kids… One has one and the other has ...two?" Cosima tries to remember.

"Yes." Ursula nods. "Both my sons are married. Torsten is still in Munich. Andreas is in Switzerland. We will have dinner tomorrow… so you can see your cousin."

"Wow… OK." Cosima nods. And it makes sense, I think. To let Cosima meet her family. I wonder if I should have stayed home, let Cosima have this time to reconnect. And yet, I don't regret coming.

In the kitchen Ursula proudly points at a framed picture featuring three small children. "My grandchildren - Annika, Max and Lena." Ursula says this quite proudly and she seems like a normal grandmother to me. So what if she wants to frequent nude beaches.

"They're cute." Cosima says after a long pause.

"So… Cosima… How do you like Paris?" Ursula is far more eager to get to know Cosima than the reverse, and I wonder if she'll have luck. Or if Cosima will brush her off.

"I… love it." Cosima smiles genuinely. "One of the best experiences of my life."

"You are in science, like Torsten… Good?" Ursula seems eager to engage her niece, and I find I do not understand Cosima's reluctance to come here.

"Very good." Cosima agrees. "I study life sciences… and I love it."

"And you Delphine?"

"Biochemistry." I answer quickly.

"Delphine is going to be a doctor." Cosima tells her aunt.

"That is the plan." I agree.

"Good." Ursula nods. "Two clever girls… Well, I will get dinner ready." And with that Ursula moves to cooking leaving us in relative silence.

We eat dinner and Ursula proves herself very hospitable. She leaves a city map and a spare key by the front door, in case Cosima and I wish to explore the city. She encourages us to take a walk, circling her approximate address on the map after supper, and Cosima and I agree.

"Too many hours on a train. It will do you good." Ursula encourages us, even as she begins cleaning up in her kitchen.

We do, strolling the streets with a flashlight tucked into my purse. But I feel oddly safe here.

"Ursula is…cooler than I remember her." Cosima admits to me several streets from her aunt's city home.

"She is kind.. A normal grandmother."

"Until she's nude gardening." Cosima mumbles out.

I cannot help it, I laugh. "We'll close the blinds."


In bed that night Cosima is more enthused than ever, kissing me, touching me. I draw her to my mouth, and let her. It's getting easier, I think. To know what to do, how to move… and Cosima. Her reactions to me stir more arousal. She whimpers when she touches me and it thrills me. I take her in and she works me, while I cling to her shoulders and watch her. But it takes too long, I think. And Cosima looks at me with concern when it drags out longer than expected.

"Are you OK?" Cosima mumbles at me, looking into my eyes as she continues to move over me. "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong… I just… I can't… I'm trying." I tell her in quick words, the wrong words. I look at her brow furrow at me.

"Hey, it's OK… just relax." Cosima croons at me as she works me closer to orgasm. Part of me wonders if I should just insist that Cosima must … come first. But I relent to her passion.

"I'm trying."

"OK…" Cosima mumbles at me, ducking her head down to suck me into her mouth, it seems to be easier this way. Especially after she begins moaning into me. Or maybe I just become overwhelmed with sensation, I cry and eventually climax under her insistent attentions.

I don't bother to try to hide the tears, Cosima kisses my cheeks when she's done. And then my mouth.

"Oh…" Cosima sighs. "I…I love you." She snuggles into my neck and I hold her happily. My fingers play in her short hair, now long enough to grasp.

I adjust our position, squishing Cosima down underneath me. She smiles at me when I touch her. And this… this is easy.

Cosima comes twice, under my hands, under my mouth and I am ecstatic at the sight of her face.

"Oh Delphine." She wraps me in her arms and kisses my head. And I wonder what comes next.

The morning brings more exploration, of München, of Munich not of each other. Ursula is welcoming and even her son Torsten and daughter-in-law Claudia get in on playing tour guide for us. We are toured around, we take two vehicles. Ursula's and Torsten's. We see churches, medieval buildings, parks… museums. It is a whirlwind. Cosima's cousin is enthused to meet her and I quickly become aware none of them seem to have any issues with our relationship. The ground having been well-cleared by Claudia's clearly much adored brother.

"I mean, last time I met Torsten I was… a little kid." Cosima shrugs. "He was a teenager."

"It is good to get reacquainted." Ursula is enthused about this miniature family reunion, and I find myself swept away by the joy at it. I watch Cosima's reluctance melt away under their kindness, and with her hand in mine I begin to enjoy it too.

We settle back at Ursula's while a traditional bavarian dinner is being prepared for us. Urusla flitting between the kitchen and the garden, switching off with Claudia so they have time to visit. The children play in the garden, a shed contains toys for them.

"This is better than I thought." Cosima admits quietly to me when we're left for a moment. "I mean, I think… I was unfair to Aunt Ursula."

"They are kind, Cosima." I tell her. "I like them. This…this has been lovely."

"Yeah. Maybe I'll come back a weekend before I go." Cosima speaks thoughtfully and I nod enthused. I think… that would be good, for both of us.

"Cosima! Play!" Annika grabs her by the hands and pulls her up to play. Somehow equating Cosima's youth and energy into her being the best playmate of the adults. I think somehow the child might be right.

Ursula fusses over Max who she informs me is three years old. I find the happiness radiating off these people contagious. And I wonder, what would my life be with Cosima? Would this family become my family?

Torsten sits next to me when he sees that I am not playing. "So what do you do?" I ask Torsten bent on politeness while Cosima is giving his elder daughter a spinning piggyback ride in the backyard. I see a bit of likeness between his face and Cosima's. And that too makes me like him more.

"I work for Zoologische Staatssammlung München. " Torsten tells me simply. "It is good work, and Claudia and I raise our children. That… that encompasses my life. With… little children there is little time for much else. We are just beginning to read more now that they are bigger."

"Cosima!" Annika shouts as Cosima spins her around, winning over Ursula and the child's mother with her attention. The child's English is still rough, but she manages well enough to communicate to Cosima in German and broken English.

"You should go to Starnberg." Claudia tells me when Cosima and I sit at the table. "Or Lake Walchen. You could go hiking, go swimming." Claudia, I soon learn, works in publishing quite happily. And her children are both in kindergarten, though only Annika is old enough to have to attend.

"Oh that is a good idea… maybe tomorrow?" Ursula suggests. "If you cannot take the S-Bahn, you can borrow my car. There are other lakes, closer ones if you like."

Cosima's eyes widen. "I couldn't do that."

"You are family… You are good driver? I hope." Ursula laughs pleasantly and I see Cosima look panicked. As I recall she is not a confident driver, but that doesn't have to matter.

"I could drive us." I offer. "If you want to go."

"I feel like we've barely seen München." Cosima explains quickly, and I take her explanation for granted. After all, this is her trip. I am just here for her.

We don't make love that night, too exhausted by the energy expelled in the visit. But I spoon myself closely behind Cosima and feel just as satisfied. Her fingers grip my hand to her chest and I am lulled to sleep by her heartbeat. I will be reluctant, I think, to return to Paris this time.