Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, I wouldn't be using Itachi would make up with Sasuke, and SasukeXSakura would be an actual pairing.
After Seimei Uchiha's death, his younger sister, Rin, has to deal with her phsychopath mother, who abuses her on a daily basis, and a father who is too preoccupied with his missions. Rin is all alone to find the truth. SasuSaku. Future fic.
I am so sorry.
I can't stand living this world for any longer.
I was never a great son or brother.
Living with the pain as a Shinobi and taking lives of others,
good or bad, I can't bear the pain anymore. I can't help but feel guilty.
Dad, you were so proud of me when I made it as Jounin even though you
never showed it.
Jounin going on ANBU means taking more lives of others. I can't kill another soul.
That's all I ever do.
Kill during the day, then sob and mourn in the middle of the night.
I hope you understand.
I've been thinking a lot about the pills in the bathroom cabnet under the sink.
You know, the really strong pills for migraines.
I'm scared. I want to die, but I don't.
I was nothing but a burden to you guys anyway.
Mom, I know you must be freaking out right now, but don't.
Rin, stay in school and accomplish your goals.
Dad, the way that you treated me.
At first I thought you hated me. But now,
I realize that you did it for my safety and others.
Remember when you and I got into that fight about how I shouldn't take the Uchiha Katanas that has been in our family for generations to one of my big and important missions? Well, it's in my closet behind my shuriken and kunai collection.
I thank you for raising me the way you did.
My life has been great up until I became Jounin.
Three and a half of years of suffering, yet I've survived this long.
The pain is just unbearable.
I've tried many other ways to help relieve the guilt.
Obviously, nothing helped.
Well I love you guys and I hope you got this letter.
Mom, Dad, Rin, I love you guys so, so much.
Please forgive me. Bye.
- Seimei
PS: Did I tell you that I was sorry?
I scanned my eyes over the note again. My fingers trace along the writing of the note. Opening my kunai holster, I stuck the note in there. There were relatives, friends, and people who claimed that they knew Seimei, walking all over the place, some wearing black, others in their ANBU uniforms; like Dad. Some with tissues held up to their noses and some comforting others.
This was my brother's funeral. And there was nothing to be happy about. Except for those who came to witness that my brother was dead and jump for joy. The ones who were jealous because he got all the "action" and the girls.
Everyone around here was sad as far as I could tell. Everyone except me. I don't feel love and sadness towards my brother anymore. I hate him. I thought he was brave and smart. But I was wrong. I wouldn't call suicide brave or smart. As far as I'm concered, he was a coward. Choosing something permenant for a temporary problem. I hope I never turn out like him.
I look over at the coffin and Mom hovering it, crying like there's no tomorrow. Dad was behind her, trying to take her away from the coffin and calm her down.
Do you see what Seimei's death is doing to our family? Mom will never get over this! Kakashi-Sensei walked up behind me and gave me a tight squeeze on my shoulder. I turn around to meet his gaze. I sighed. He won't even take off his mask to show appreciation.
"I'm sorry," he said. I shake my head. "No. There's nothing to be sorry for. As far as I'm concerned you didn't do anything."
"Well, I was surprised when I didn't see you cry." he said, scratching his head. Again, I shake my head. "Someone who lived a perfectly good life and killed himself because everything wasn't how he wanted it. Other people have it worse but live through it. Honestly, I wouldn't waste my tears over that. Brother or not."
He gave me a half smile. "You're just like your father." He walked away to help calm down Mom. Father walked towards me. He ran his fingers through his now messy hair and then traveled down to his temples and rubbed them. "Your mother," he sighed, "I can't handle her sometimes." I nodded while opening my kunai holster and grabbed the note. "Here." I say, handing him the note. He took it but just stared at it instead of opening it. I decided to speak, "Uhh, yeah. I decided to give that to you instead of Mom. She wouldn't take it as well." He glanced at me and opened it. "This is from Seimei, isn't it?" I decided not to say anything. He began to read it silently to himself.
"Sasuke," says a familiar voice. I look at the direction of where the voice came from. Dad jumps back a bit before looking at person who called for him. "Hey," he whipsered. Naruto walked up to Dad and gave him a friendly hug. "I'm sorry," he said, patting Dad's back. Dad didn't say anything but gave Naruto the note. He read it silently and then looked back at Dad. "So he wasn't murdered. He killed himself." Dad nodded. Everyone thinks that he was murdered. Even Mom. She probably thought that it was one of Seimei's enemies who killed him. Dad looked down at me and so did Naruto. "Hey Kiddo," Naruto said, as he noogied me and messed up my hair. "You must be sad. You and Seimei were best friends." Naruto finished. I nodded and then looked over to my right and found Hatori, Naruto's son.
"Sasuke, Rin, I can't stand it anymore. Let's go home." Mom says. Dad sighed and looked over at the coffin. Is it just me, or do I see his eyes watering? Never in my fourteen years of living, have I seen Dad cry. There it went. One tear fell, followed by another. "Sasuke." whispers Naruto. Mom starts sobbing on Dad's shoulder.
"Come on," Dad says, "Let's go. I can't stand to be here any longer." And with that, we left.
Everyone at the dinner table was silent. Even Mom was, and God knew how much she loved to talk. I toy with my food a little bit. The sadness all around me is making me lose my appitite. I have to admit; I do miss him. Mom glances up at me. "Honey, you need to eat. If you don't, you'll get sick and eventually die." I roll my eyes. Is that what's always on her mind now? "Sakura," says Dad, "you're overreacting." He turned to look at me, "Rin, eat as much as you can. There won't be any snacks after dinner." I stand up and place my plate in the sink. Mom sighed and began, "Rin, I know you're sad about Sei-"
"No! I'm not sad. I'm angry. I don't feel sorry for his death. I feel sorry for him. How he could just choose that! Without even saying anything to us that he was having problems! I hate him." I say, looking to see Mom's reactions. A tear fell from her emerald eyes, "What are you talking about?"
"Didn't anyone tell you? He wasn't murdered. He killed himself Mom, he commited suicide." I look at Dad, "Give her the note."
"What note?" She asks, looking at Dad. He sighed, "Damn." He took out the note and handed it to Mom.
After finishing the note, she threw the note behind her and started sobbing, tears dripping onto her food. Dad glares at me. I knew how much he didn't want Mom to know, but she's Seimei's mom too! She has a right to know. He wouldn't avert his gaze. I don't like that look. "She was going to find out sooner or later." I say. He closed his eyes and sighed. "I think it's time for bed." he says, standing up to put his plate in the sink. My eyes widen, "What? Why can't I stay up for a bit longer? It's only..." I glance at the grandfather clock in the living room, "8:46. My bed time's not until nine." He rubs his temples. I could tell he was frustrated. It was in his voice and eyes. "Close enough Rin, don't argue with me." I crossed my arms and left the room and into my own.
"Seimei," I say, tracing the frame of the picture of him and I; sitting in a flower field with Sakura trees making shade everywhere. "Why did you leave?" I whisper. "You are so selfish?" I chuckle a bit. Listen to me. I sound selfish myself. I lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Seriously though, I bet he never thought about how his death would effect our lives. So selfish. We will never be the same.
I close my eyes and drift off into sleep.
The sun's light shone brighter than any other normal day. It's rays casted through my window and curtains onto my face. I grab my pillow and plunk it over my head. As if on cue, my alarm clock went off. 'Great.' I thought. Another day of mournings and "I'm sorries" for me.
"Rin! Wake up!" Mom's voice rang.
"I'm awake, I'm awake." I get out of bed and walk out into the dining room and sit at the table. "Good morning, Sweetie. I made you fried rice and scrammbled eggs, your favorite." She said, taking off her pink apron. I groan and lean back in my chair.
"I'm not really hungry, Mom."
She stopped immediately, almost dropping her spatula. "But Rin, that's your favorite. Does it not smell good? I can make a better batch. Please, tell me what I did wrong!" she says, throwing her hands into the air and then covering her eyes as she cried into them.
"Mom, it's not that. I'm just not hungry. Please stop crying."
She grabbed the pan on the stove, full of rice and scrambled eggs and threw it across the kitchen. I jump at her sudden actions. "Mom," I whisper, "I think you need to see a therapist. I'll call someone after training. You need to see someone ASAP. Before you hurt yourself and others."
"No!" She screams, "Why aren't you acting like yourself? Was it something I did? Why are you changing? I loved you the way you were! You used to always smile and laugh! What's wrong with you Rin?" She grabs her pan and holds it in the air above my head. I can see steam coming from the sides of the pan. "Crap." I say aloud. She was going to hit me. My own mother was going to actually hit me!
"You aren't my daughter! Get out! Now! Give me my daughter back! Why are you in her body!" She swung her pan and hit me in the side of my head. My head rung in pain. Not only from just hitting me, but because it was hot also. My hand skims over the side where Mom hit me and hold onto it. I scream out in pain. Small streams of blood flow through my fingers and into the wooden floor.
"Oh my God! Rin, I am so sorry!" She fell to the floor crying her eyes out. I tune out her crying and concentrate on my head. I feel drowsiness come over me and fall unconscious.
"Rin." A faint voice calls out.
"Rin." It calls again. My eyes slowly open and pull the covers off. "Oh my head." I murmer. I massage my temples where bandage lay wrapped and sit upright.
"No Rin. Lay back down," the voice says, pushing me flat on the bed. "Where am I?" I focus my eyes on the person next to me. "Dad? Where am I?" I ask.
He sighs and leans back in his chair, "You pretty much fainted. Mind telling me what she did to you?" He asked, pulling the covers over me again. I stop to think a bit before answering him. "Mom, she got mad. Saying stuff like "You're not my child!" and "Get out! Why are you in Rin's body?". And then she hit me with her frying pan in the head. That's all I remember." Dad just nods and looks out the window. "Where's Mom?" I ask.
"In the room next door. She's going to start taking therapy and see if that doesn't help. So, are you sure she didn't hurt you anywhere else?" He asked, running his hand through his hair. I think for a bit but nothing came to mind. "Nope." I say, still rubbing my head. I cringe a bit by the pain but calm down about five seconds later.
"Is Mom alright?" I ask.
"Yeah. Listen, if that ever happens again, I want you to run to the Uzumaki's house, okay? Then call me from there." I nod.
Knocking sounds appeared at the door. "Come in." Dad said, looking back to see who it was. The door sung open and in came Naruto, Hinata, Hatori, and his older brother Kazuma who was holding a bouquet of lilies. Hatori and I are in the same squad with Kakashi as our Sensei. Kazuma was a Chunin about to be Jounin. Naruto came in with a wide grin. I smile a bit. Naruto's smiles always made me feel better in awkward situations. "Hey Kiddo," he started, "How are ya? You feel any better?" he asks. I sit upright and smile. A small serge of pain ran through my head again. "Yeah," I lied. The last thing they need is to worry about me. Naruto has his own family to take care of. Kazuma hands me the lilies. I smile. "Thank you. You really shouldn't have." I say holding the lilies to my nose and took a good sniff.
"I love them. Thanks." Kazuma smiled. "No problem."
"Anyway," Naruto says, changing the subject. "The way that Sakura reacted towards Rin, do you think it has something to do with Seimei's death?" asked Naruto. Dad rubbed his head and then closed his eyes but did not fall asleep. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't been such an ass towards Seimei, I'd think he'd live a better life. If only I wasn't so short tempered with him and the way I treated him. I just didn't want a repeat of my life all over again, only with his life."
"No." I speak out. "Why should you blame yourself? He chose to kill himself. It's not like you abused him or anything. Seriously, we're talking about a seventeen year old who made straight A's, the best at Taijutsu, lives in a friggin' mansion, and has all the babes. You can't tell me he lead a horrible life! He had everything he ever wanted. And if he had any problems, don't you think he would have came to you or Mom? Think about it. His death has nothing to do with you. He just threw his life away as many other people continue to live a death threatening life and still survive. Look at you, Dad. You survived Uncle Itachi's massacre. He still may be alive today, but living with all the guilt and no relatives to live with. You survived. Seimei was nothing but a coward. I can't believe I was related to him." I say. Naruto, Dad and the others were staring at me in awe. Okay, I was trying to make a point, not a speech. Well, I better have gotten through to him. I have one freaked up parent, I don't need another. Not that I'm saying Dad would ever turn out that way. I have full trust in him.
Later that night I got to come home from the hospital. I am sitting alone at the dinner table. Dad's in the living room, writing his report from the last mission he was assigned. I lower my head to look at my food. Ramen. Seriously, is that all guys know how to make? You'd think they'd get tired of it. I grab my spoon and dip it into the steamy Ramen. A grunt came from the living room followed by some cursing. Foot steps then made their way towards the dining room.
There Dad stood, looking more exhausted than earlier at the hospital (If it was possible). "Rin, I ruined my usual routine just to make you dinner, you could at least give it a try." He said, walking into the kitchen to grab some Ramen in the pantry. "Hey, that's your job as the parent." He rolled his eyes and grabbed a pan from inside the cupboard. "Yeah and it's your job as the child to obey. Now eat or else I'll shove that Ramen down your throat." I look at my Ramen and stir it a bit to mix the seasonings. "If you shove it down my throat then I'll probably choke. And if I choke, I'll have to go to the hospital. If I went to the hospital it would only cost you more money. If they couldn't do anything to save me then you would lose your money and...and..." I had a hard time saying the last part. He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. His eyes didn't show irritation, exhaust, or tiredness at all. It showed worry. That look doesn't suit him at all. "You?" he asked. I quickly nod and look down into my Ramen. What was I thinking? I can't joke about stuff like that. He sighed and put the pan away along with the Ramen.
"I...I'm sorry." I say, bowing my head. He said nothing. He just looks at me. He shook his head and decided to speak, "No. It's ok to put humor in a serious conversation. It helps relieve the pain some people feel."
"No. I really am sorry. I was wrong. I shouldn't joke about things like that. Especially if it happened to us in the past. I'm sorry."
He chuckles a bit. Wait, wait, hold up. Chuckle? Did he just chuckle? Since when did the great Sasuke Uchiha chuckle? "Dad, are you going crazy?" He let out a small laugh. I say it again; laugh! No way! My ears must be deceiving me. "No, I'm not going crazy. That's your mother's title."
I gasp, "Then am I going crazy?"
We just continue to stare at each other until we crack up into fits of laughter. After finishing our laughing scene, Dad goes back to the living room to work on his report.
I walk into the living room and look over his shoulder. He stops what he's doing and looks over his shoulder. His eyes are so red; and no, I don't mean Sharingan. He's so tired. "Dad, when was the last time you actually got nine full hours of sleep? I think it's your bed time." He closes his eyes as if falling asleep right then and there, but instead, he opens his eyes and says, "I could say the same for you." I groan and glance at the clock. Nine o'clock. Damn, and when I thought he would actually forget. "But Dad, I'm old enough to stay awake for a bit longer. I mean, I can't sleep. I have a lot on my mind too, you know." I say, sarcasm dripping off of each word. He glances over at the clock and sighs, "Alright." he says, putting his paper work into a manilla folder. "YES!" I stand up and reach my hands into the air, making a peace sign with both hands. "You have until 9:01."
"Wha-?" My jaw drops to the floor. We both look at the grandfather clock when the minute hand reaches one. He looks over to me, smirking. "Time." he says, standing up, "Now, go to bed." I sweatdrop and decide not to take the conversation any further. I would probably be grounded the next time I protest, because I didn't obey the first time. I walk towards my bedroom when I stop, right by Seimei's room. Well, I mean, it WAS Seimei's room. I slowly open the door to see nothing but darkness. I flicker the light switch up but nothing turns on. I left the door open for light and took in my surroundings. His room smelt just like Seimei. How I missed his scent. I look to the far left of his bed and see his computer. I walk up to it and carefully turn it on. A blue screen turns on with his name and a password box below. I type in his name but have a hard time deciphering the password. "Maybe it's Kakashi-Sensei. He was Seimei's favorite teacher and friend." I say aloud, typing in his name. I hit the enter button but a small pop-up appears saying, "Invalid password." I think long and hard about this one. After typing in several other names and objects that were important to Seimei, I stop to think about one that I haven't used yet. Sharingan. Slowly, I pushed each buttons under my fingers and hit enter.
"Yes!" I whisper quietly to myself. Slowly, pushing the mouse up over to the "My Documents" folder on Seimei's computer and click the button. I look over all the documents Seimei has written. "Only one?" I say, clicking on it. My eyes widen. Seimei wrote a letter before he killed himself.
Yo!
If you're reading this, it probably means that I was too late to stop Orochimaru.
He's been hiding the forbidden scrolls. Luckily I retrieved them before he could do anything terrible.
Don't be too late to act fast. I have to believe you can pull this off. If not, the whole village could be in trouble.
The information on Orochimaru is that he's an S-Class ninja. His hideaway is in the Sound Village. You must stop him before he does something terrible.
I have to believe you are reading this.
-Seimei
I decide not to snoop in any more of Seimei's stuff. I don't want to read anything personal of his, even if he is dead. I turn off his computer and go to my room.
I lay flat on my bed and stare at the ceiling in deep thought. "What does he mean "...I was too late to stop Orochimaru"? Instead of beating myself up about trying to find out what he meant, I turn out my small lamp and go to sleep.
