Author's note: So, Sarah knows. Jack has cheated on her. What will happen next? Will she say something, or will she keep it inside? Does she confront Jack or does she pretend that it never happened in the hope that he will still be there? Read on to see (and, yes, the change in POV is intentional)… Son Coeur Brisé, my interpretation in three parts. Now, the second part. – Stress
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Son Coeur Brisé
(Her broken heart)
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And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
II. SILHOUETTE INCOMPLÈTEMENT PARFAITE
(imperfectly perfect silhouette)
Sarah sat at her window. She sat there, purposely brushing her long dark hair forward to hide her tear-stained cheeks. It had been three nights she saw them. It had been three nights. Jack had yet to call for her.
This, of course, was a good thing.
It had taken those three days for the truth to be fully comprehended. She finally understood. Jack had cheated on her. He had found another girl.
That first day she felt numb. The initial pain she experienced as her heart shattered faded into an eerie indifference. What did it matter, really, if he found another girl? She did not own him; he was not her property. He belonged to the streets of New York and it would them that eventually claimed him. It had been foolishly naïve of her to assume that she could change that. She should have known better.
Why, then, did she spend that sleepless night envisioning him intertwined with that girl. Her.
The second day she felt hatred, sheer hatred that would have frightened her if she wasn't so angry. The cold numbness melted away as her emotions blazed. She paced up and down the apartment building steps, fuming inside, until she found herself atop the roof. And then she hated even more.
She hated him for doing this to her, for making her feel this way. She had silently passed her heart into his hands that first dinner he shared with her family and all he did was squeeze. And she hated him for it.
I hate him.
Her face flashed before Sarah's eyes. Though she had only seen her the one time, her image was burned in Sarah's memory. Every curl, every freckle, her very essence was vivid. She had taken Jack from Sarah – she would never be forgotten.
I hate her.
But, of them all, she hated herself the most. Perfect Sarah Jacobs, she taunted, so darn perfect that she'll let anyone walk right on her. 'That's OK, Jack. Go and dally with that girl behind my back. I don't mind. I'll just wait here by my window until you grace me with your presence.' It was her fault, too. More, really, because she let it happen. She could have confronted them then but she didn't. She was silent.
Silence was her self-defense.
I hate me.
But the third day, the third day was utter grief. The tears came and fell almost without her realizing it. She hardly noticed when her brothers left for their selling or when they returned later that day. She remained curled on her bed, crying. She spoke to no one if they approached her. They all wondered what was wrong the normally smiling girl but only David thought he knew. The rest of the family eventually left her to her sorrow in favor of their supper. Nothing they could say would move her from her window side.
She cried straight through the evening. With every tear she shed it was as if a piece of her heart was recovered. It would not heal immediately but it was a beginning.
Her mother came to her side shortly after the sun had set for the night. She brought Sarah her supper and sat in on her nightstand. Sarah barely registered her presence.
Esther Jacobs looked sadly upon her daughter. She recognized Sarah's current disposition; she had, after all, been a young girl once herself. She, too, knew what it felt like to have her heart broken. Sarah would recover from this devastation, she knew. Now it was her job, as her mother, to help her realize that.
But Sarah didn't want that realization. In her pain, it was hard for her to remember that she was not the first girl in this situation; hers was not the first heart to break. She denied her mother's advice and turned her face away. Esther lovingly patted Sarah's long brown hair and kissed her goodnight. She would try again tomorrow. Hopefully, by then, her daughter would be prepared to listen to some sort of reason.
The seconds turned to minutes, the minutes to hours and, eventually, no more tears came. The apartment was quiet with only the softly muffled snores of her family keeping her awake. She no longer was lying on her bed. Sleep was eluding her, she knew it, so she sat up and stared up at the moon. It was strangely calming.
So focused on the tranquil beauty of the moon, Sarah wasn't aware of her visitor at first. But the step of the fire escape creaked and her attention was brought back to the earth. Just outside of her window, silhouetted against the moon, was a young man.
Jack.
The fragile heart she had fought to piece back together for the past three days crumbled and fell away. He had come for her. As if nothing was wrong, and everything was right, he had come for her.
Her breath caught in her throat and she rested her hands on the window ledge. He smiled at her through the glass, obviously surprised that he had found her awake. He told her once before that he enjoyed watching her sleep. He never stayed over at the Jacobs' apartment but found it soothing to sleep on the fire escape outside her window, waiting for her to wake up in the morning. He said it made him feel content; he never asked to come inside. She felt loved and safe every time she had she found him out there; she never invited him in.
This time was different. She needed to prove to herself that he was there for her. While it was easy to act indifferent when she just suspected that he was cheating, it had nearly destroyed her to see him with another girl. Deep down she had held onto the hope that it was all a misunderstanding. And here he was, at her window, intending to watch over her, to be with her.
Their eyes locked and, under the light of the night's moon, she saw his lips curl upwards. Her own mouth betrayed her and did the same. She slowly lifted the window pane and continued to look at him. Without a word, she gestured for him to come inside. He climbed in and wrapped her in his arms. She didn't say anything to him. She couldn't.
Silence is her self-defense.
