Rule #41a: Feminine wiles are a weapon in unto themselves
Having exchanged their clothes for the comfiest set of pyjamas they each had, the girls soon found themselves sequestered in Mina's room with a million and one pillows and more junk food than they could probably eat. While Toru fiddled with the television in order to get Jiro's phone connected up so they could watch the footage from the day's activities; the others went about setting up their nest-like accommodations in the small room where it would undoubtedly turn into a sleepover. "And…done!" Toru scooted back to lean against the side of Mina's bed alongside Asui as pictures began to flash across the screen. Digging into the chips, the girls sat back ready and waiting to indulge themselves in this sadistic adventure.
"Okay" The footage wobbled for a bit as the cameraman settled down, their fingertips glancing over the camera momentarily before Sero came into focus. Sero stood in the middle of the room where the guys and girls had at some point separated themselves into their respective genders. "Who has it easier? Guys or girls?"
"GUYS!" Came the resounding cry from the girls corner. It almost sounded like a war cry.
"Why do you think guys have it easier?"
"Because when guys have to use the bathroom, anywhere" Ochako replied as she lounged across the couch like a forgotten sock. "All they have to do is unzip their pants and go for it"
"Well, have you ever peed in public?" Mineta drooled.
WHACK!
"Ow!" Mineta whined as he slid down the window from where Asui had flung him. She hadn't even risen from the couch! Still snuggled into Tokoyami's side, her tongue had leapt from the confines of her blanket burrito, wrapped itself around the grape-haired boy and flung him across the room.
"If I could actually tell you how to be girl" Mina intoned from where she sat cross-legged on the floor. "Stay clean, smell good—"
"I smell good right now!" Chirped Aoyama, practically dancing in his seat as he waved his hands in the air.
"—Get your nails done, shave your entire body—arms, legs…"
"That's a lot of shaving" Commented Sato.
"What are we…talking about?" Asui yawned as she finally sat upright, hair all askew.
"Who has it harder guys or girls?" Jiro supplied, her voice sounding a lot closer than the others as she was clearly filming the entire thing.
"Oh, it's definitely easier being a guy. Are you kidding?" She replied as she tried to tame her hair into something less wild.
"Seriously?" Sero turned. "Is it really that bad?"
"Women just have to experience so much more…" Jiro started.
"…Shit?" Yaoyorozu ended.
"Yeah, traumatising things like birth"
"And getting your period every month" Whined Ochako as she flopped sideways. Yaoyorozu silently toasted her.
"Like say, if Kaminari was at a store" Said Jiro, "And a man came up to him and said 'Do you have a girlfriend? And where do you come from—?"
"—He would freeze—!" Interjected Yaoyorozu.
"—He would shit his pants" Jiro amended.
"I would not!" Kaminari retorted as everyone dissolved into giggles.
"So how do we decide this?" Sero asked, turning to the girls who suddenly wore mischievous grins and wickedly gleaming eyes. He appeared almost afraid to finish the question. "How do find out what it's like to be a girl?"
"How about…" Ochako sat upright as her eyes gleamed, her PMS momentarily forgotten. "They run a gauntlet?"
"Gauntlet? What kind of gauntlet?" Yaoyorozu turned, intrigued.
"They could do a whole bunch of challenges—make-up, heels, dress—"
"—But how do we get them to understand periods, ribbit?" Asui asked.
"Ooh! Ooh!" Mina chirped, "We use a labour pain simulator!"
"But where would we get one of those?"
"Hey, Momo…" Mina innocently turned to her friend and blinked her eyes repeatedly as she asked the silent question.
"Oh c'me on, Mina! Momo's suffering too!" Jiro defended.
"But she'd only have to make one! And with enough stickers for everyone! Ooh! And we'd get to make them experience a full set of period cramps!"
"…I do like the sound of that" Yaoyorozu admitted, much to the chagrin of the boys as the girls plotted their demise.
"…Should we be worried?" Kaminari whispered to Sero.
"This suddenly sounds like a bad idea" He replied with a gulp—a gulp he then had to swallow when the girls simultaneously turned on them with matching grins.
"Are ya ready, boys?" Mina grinned.
"Ready—ready for what?" Even Iida appeared nervous.
"To grow some ovaries"
"So Aoyama, what are your thoughts going into this?" Jiro asked, the camera now aimed at the blonde, interview-style. In the end, only a few of the boys had gathered enough courage to take on the challenge set forth by the girls.
"We're about to do make-up and I mean, I'm very confident!" Aoyama sparkled. "It's much easier, cherie! You squirt the skin-coloured cream on your face and you rub it around really quickly!"
"What about the others? How do you think they're gonna do?"
"Kaminari and Mineta have no clue as to what they're doing! Iida & Sero may be my true challengers, but I shall be the dark horse! Neigh!"
The footage was a little shaky as Jiro moved over to interview Sero & Kaminari respectively. Both Mineta and Iida had stationed themselves in front of one of the floor-length mirrors they had managed to scrounge from someones' rooms and now lay lengthwise across the table; propped up by books. An array of make-up lay scattered about the table and Iida was busy spending the time perfectly lining up his tools as Ochako hovered over his shoulder. Those who weren't participating gathered around the room in semi-interest as they set up.
"…I would say I'd do really well in it" Sero replied in answer to the previous question. "But, I think if Mina heard that, she'd jump out of the shower and just shank me in the neck"
"I'm an artist" Kaminari added, mimicking Aoyama's French accent. "But I'm also dog shit—so probably terrible"
"You kinda already have rosy cheeks" Mineta piped up, turning away from the make-shift vanity for a second or two.
"Exactly! I don't need blush! I just need to go like this!" Kaminari smacked at his cheeks, bringing up a natural reddish hue. "Ugh! I'm ready!"
"Are we ready?" Mina called over to the trio.
"Yeah!" Jiro called back, ushering the two boys over to the table and sat at the head of the table in order to film them all. "So how long do you reckon they'll need?"
"Well, it takes me ten minutes to do my make-up in the morning…" Ochako mused.
"It takes me an hour…" Trailed Yaoyorozu.
"An hour? Heh. Okay, let's compromise" Interjected Asui, "Let's say they get fifteen minutes?"
"Yeah, that sounds good"
"I only need five!" Aoyama bragged.
"Only need five? Oh, you're confident!"
"I'll probably need four hours" Commented Kaminari as his eyes swept over the array of products before him.
"ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET…" Mina started.
"What's this for?" Iida held up an eyelash curler like it was a torture device.
"That's an eyelash curler" Ochako supplied.
"You curl your eyelashes?!" Iida appeared scandalous at the notion. "That sounds incredibly dangerous!"
"Try it" Yaoyorozu offered.
"Uh…I'll just put it over here for now"
"…AND START!" Mina called.
"What do I start with?!" Kaminari panicked, hands hovering above the colourful tubes and pencils before him.
"You start with concealer" Jiro supplied helpfully.
"Don't help him!" Mina scolded.
"It's all right, these guys don't know what the hell they're doing anyways"
"Iida you're super pale!"
"It doesn't matter! I shall do my best anyhow!" Iida decreed as he went to work slathering on the concealer like it was paint.
"Is there white-out in the drawer?" Sero joked as he lined his cheeks with a slightly tanner shade.
"I'm ready for combat!" Kaminari declared, making funny faces at himself in the mirror after he finally picked up the concealer and lined his cheeks. "This is how bitches get snapped!"
Despite Mina's earlier words against helping the boys in their endeavour, the girls continued to laugh and point out what the boys were doing wrong; and how they best ought to apply the make-up. Aoyama, it seemed, needed no help. "Holy shit!" Mina gasped as she watched the blonde expertly dab at his face with the beauty blender. "Aoyama's really good at this!"
"Iida, you need to make yourself tanner" Ochako's voice floated across the frame as the camera zoomed in on the boy's very pale face.
"Jesus! Bloody Mary over here!" Laughed Asui as the camera panned over to Mineta who bore alarmingly red cheeks. "What did you do?!"
"I don't know!" Mineta wailed as he continued to paint his face, each added feature making it worse and worse.
"Wow! Look at Aoyama!"
"How'd you get it so smooth?" Kaminari pestered, glancing between his own reflection and the fellow blonde who had set down his tools, done.
"You guys are idiotes!" Aoyama laughed as he postured in front of the mirror like a peacock.
"Is there something I can use to conceal my forehead?" Mineta asked as he brushed his entire face with bronzer.
"That's technique's actually not half bad, Mineta" Yaoyorozu commented, her tone surprised as she watched the grape-haired boy flicker the brush quickly over his face.
"What are you doing?" Mina laughed as the camera panned over to Iida who appeared to be trying to copy Mineta's technique; though not very well. "You look like you have a nervous twitch!"
Laughter flowed throughout the room as the boys raced each other to put figure out what the different tools were for and how they were applied—or if they needed to be used at all. PMS momentarily forgotten, the girls especially, appeared to be having a great time as the chosen quintet made fools of themselves. "That's terrifying!" Jiro laughed at Sero, who appeared dramatically affronted by the comment.
"You—you literally look like a—a killer!" Mina added amongst her gut-busting giggles.
"Wow! What a way to motivate me to do my make-up!" Sero deadpanned.
"You look like you have a fetish for trying to be a porcelain doll!"
"I'm gonna look fucking better than you, bitch!" Came Kaminari's war cry from off camera.
"You'd need to fix your eyeliner for that!"
"Oh shit! It's already fucked up!" The camera zoomed over to find Kaminari painstakingly tracing the rims of his eyes with eyeliner; a black line in which was steadily becoming further and further away from this eye. "Alright, let's do the wings!"
"Sero did good with his eyelashes" Yaoyorozu commented, peering over the boy's shoulder at his reflection.
"They're already there" Sero replied nonchalantly, "I don't need to do anything"
"Kaminari!" Jiro exclaimed her voice full of disbelief as she stared at his attempt at wings. "What did you do, buddy?"
"I just wanted to fly with some wings!" The blonde pouted as everyone who saw ,laughed at the poor attempt. "It's not that bad, right?"
"You look like a raccoon"
"Honestly, I applaud Kaminari for taking the big step" Ochako defended, "Right?"
"Exactly!" Asui agreed.
"I'm missing steps and falling down the stairs right now!" Mineta whined as he stared wide-eyed at his reflection in the mirror. How did he get so red?
"You look—you look like a—a prostitute after a long night!" Mina wheezed, folding in half as she laughed.
"You do!" Chortled Kaminari, pointing to his friend who spun around ready to pounce.
"What? Like you're any better?!" Mineta snarked. It would've looked more intimidating if the pair didn't look like they had been painted by four year olds.
"Mineta looks like a Russian call girl, Kaminari's like a little four year old trying to draw his eyes on, Iida looks like a porcelain doll, Sero doesn't look any different—" Yaoyorozu listed as Jiro turned the camera to face the girl as she ticked off each person on her fingers.
"—No, he looks like he's got mascara on" Interjected Asui.
"And Aoyama actually looks decent" Mina ended.
"GAH!" Kaminari's cry called the focus back to him as he stared terrified at the creature he had created. The 'wings' were only the beginning; an alarming amount of red lipstick had been applied to his lips and the garish colour of eyeshadow he had chosen made him look like a clown that had gotten into a fight. "What the fuck is this?! It looks like I cried in a wind tunnel!"
"5, 4, 3" The girls chanted as the timer ticked down. "2, 1 and STOP!"
"Put the brushes down!"
"Oi! Stop! That's it!"
"Ne~xt!"
"I'm not sure about this, you guys…" Worried Sero as he and the other boys were tugged and pulled every which way as the girls swarmed on them. After the make-up challenge, the girls had suggested combining a few together so that they could go to lunch at the UA cafeteria—today was noodle day. Strips of hot wax had been applied to their legs while claw-like nail extensions were glued to their fingers and bedazzled & bejewelled. "Is this really necessary?"
"Well, it's nearly lunchtime and shaving takes too long" Mina replied as she furiously rubbed the wax strip between her hands, activating it before she slapped it onto his leg next to the others.
"Don't worry so much, ribbit" Asui added as she carefully painted the golden claw-like extensions springing from his fingertips with little black and yellow racing stripes.
"And the heels?"
"You wanted to know what it was like to be a girl" Jiro reminded as she relished in the painful scream from Kaminari when she ripped the wax strip off of his legs, although she had to quickly duck out of the way when his Quirk activated and danced through the air.
"Uh, on second thought, maybe I'll just—!"
"Nope! They're already on, Se~ro! And now they've gotta come off!"
"Witch!"
"Haha!"
As the high-pitched screams of their classmates turned the dorm building into something from a horror movie, it was a wonder no one came running for all the noise they were making. The girls happily moved about, weaving between their captured peers as they decorated them like living dolls. Those who had refused to participate earlier were silently thanking their lucky stars as they sat and watched the 'torture' occur. Aoyama appeared to be the only one who enjoyed getting his nails done so much so that he'd forgotten about the waxing of his legs; although the tears in his eyes from the waxing told otherwise.
Mineta had been pinned down to the floor, courtesy of his own Quirk and a little finessing on Yaoyorozu's end. Another ball had been shoved into his mouth, acting as a gag after yet another gross and perverted remark at the girl's expense; Asui had taken great pleasure in waxing him. Next to him, Sero had been hogtied in such a way that it felt like he had been drawn and quartered—he still wasn't quite sure how the girls had been able to use his own Quirk against him just as they had done to Mineta. At some point, Iida had tried to make a break for it only for Ochako to place him under her Quirk and send him floating. Now he bobbed against the ceiling whilst the gravity girl happily decorated her friends fingers with blue polka-dotted patterns and rhinestones. Kaminari, was arguably the easiest of the bunch, as he had turned to putty not long after the first wax strip had been ripped from his leg. The blonde lay there, fizzing and crackling slightly as Jiro finished off waxing his legs and moved onto painting his new nails. If they had learnt anything after today, it was that girls were scary.
"How long do these nails usually last?" Tokoyami asked as he peered down at Mina's handiwork.
"Typically, they can last from anywhere to 2-4 weeks" She replied, carefully painting his nails.
"A month?!" Screeched Mineta as he struggled against his restraints.
"Yeah"
"What?" Sero gasped.
"They're pretty durable" Mina shrugged.
"Now, I feel underdressed"
"You are underdressed" Shoji pointed to the pyjamas he was still wearing.
"Oh yeah…" Sero stared down at his comic bubble-printed pants. "How are we s'posed to get dressed now?"
"You'll just have to figure it out" Yaoyorozu grinned.
"Lunch~time!" Mina sang, as the girls gathered down in the foyer. "C'me on boys!"
"Do they really have to be so tall?!" Sero complained as he precariously waddled over to the group in three inch gladiator leather heels.
"They're not that tall!"
"I feel like a ballerina!"
"You're barely off the floor!"
"All right! All right! We're coming! We're coming!" Kaminari called as he, Iida, Aoyama and Mineta all joined them by the door.
"Oh my God, Iida!" Ochako gasped, "You're calves look amazing!"
"U-uh, thank you" Iida stammered, clearly still unsure about the whole scenario. With freshly waxed legs and blue polka-dotted nails now accompanied by black stilettos, he looked ready for a night out on the town.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Aoyama sang. Although still wobbly on the heels, he was the only one out of the five who was actually able to walk semi-upright on his four inch sparkly heels. "Let us lunch!"
"Right, right, we can do this!" Kaminari pumped himself up as Sato held the door open for them. Jiro was a little sour to note that the black knee-high boots that the blonde wore actually suited him and fit him better than they did her. Mineta's t-strap heels, on the other hand, did not but they had been the smallest pair of shoes that they had managed to find while the boys had fussed about changing; complaining all the while about their nails. They seemed to have forgotten about the promised labour pain simulator later on.
"We can't do this!" Mineta wailed as he stared down at the steps like they were Everest. It was almost funny how the boys had dressed up, while the girls had dressed down for their 'lunch date' at the cafeteria (the idea to go out had been vehemently vetoed by the boys).
Inevitably, the five minute walk to the campus was filled with laughter and taunts as the five boys waddled alongside their classmates like dinosaurs on ice skates. "C'me on, Denki!" Sero called over his shoulder at the blonde who limped behind the pack. "You can do it!"
"…Some of us are walking to lunch now!" Chirped Mina as she narrated her own recording of the outing. She spared a look over at the limping blonde. "Well, some of us are walking, some of us are waddling—"
"—Literally limping!" Jiro laughed as she jumped onto the pinkette with a grin.
"How ya doing, Iida?" Ochako called up towards the racer as he walked arm-in-arm with Aoyama, the blonde practically dragging him towards the school.
"It's. Hard. To. Keep. It. Together" Iida replied, leaning heavily on Aoyama.
"Ha! Look at Kaminari and Sero, ribbit!" Asui laughed, pointing to the pair who had somehow overtaken the group and were now furiously waddling towards the campus.
"The struggle…is real!" Jiro wheezed. "They—they look like baby T-rex!"
"Stop it! Stop it!" Kaminari cried as the pair moved awkwardly in their heels. "Stop calling attention to it!"
Upon reaching the cafeteria, the group were met with a couple of odd looks and whispers from the other students as the boys beelined for a gaggle of tables whilst the others went and got lunch. Thankfully few students occupied the school cafeteria at this time, unfortunately one of those students happened to be a group from class 1-B. "AH HAHAHA!" Monoma cackled madly upon spotting his fellow first years all dressed up in drag, "HAVE THE HORRORS OF HEROISM FINALLY GOTTEN TO THEM? COULD IT BE THAT THEY'VE FINALLY LOST IT? AHAHAHAHA—!"
"Sorry about him" Kendo popped up next to Yaoyorozu, "But he's got a point—why're they in drag?"
"They wanted to know what it was like to be a girl" Mina shrugged.
"Uh…what?"
"They didn't think it was too hard being a girl" Yaoyorozu explained further, "So we're teaching them—"
"—HOW ARE WE S'POSED TO EAT WITH THESE THINGS?!" Kaminari's voice sounded from off-screen, followed by several frustrated grunts, rustling of plastic and the laughter of their classmates
"So periods" Yaoyorozu clapped her hands, garnering attention of all. It appeared to be after lunch now as the group was back in the dorm building and the five chosen boys were sprawled across the living room like broken toys.
"No!" Iida whined, unable to move from his puddle on the floor. "No more! Please! I concede! Girls have it harder! No more please!"
"But you wanted to know why it was so hard to be a girl, and this is only one of the reasons why"
"Then what were the other things for?!" Mineta cried.
"Fun"
"Evil! You're all evil!"
"Hook 'em up, Mina!"
"Nooooo!"
A few moments later, the quintet were all reluctantly hooked up to the labour pain simulator that now stay proudly on the living room floor with each of the boys sprawled about it like it was some kind of deity they were praying to. "And on we go!"
"Huh, it's not as bad as I thought it'd be" Kaminari propped himself up onto his elbows as the weaker vibrations coursed through him.
"And level 2"
"Wait—! Wha—AHH!"
"Eurgh!"
"Nooo!"
"Why? What did we do to you?" Each of the boys complained as they experienced the same pain running through curling up into various positions on the floor as the girls watched on like evil scientists.
"You asked stupid questions" Yaoyorozu remarked, sipping at yet another cup of tea as she fiddled with the dial.
"I—ah!—I won't do it again! Prom—promise!"
"Me too!"
"Stop it! Please!"
"What's it on?" Mina asked.
"Uh, level 3" Ochako peered over Yaoyorozu's shoulder as she cackled evilly.
"Seriously? I'm sure it's not that bad!" Mina remarked as the boys panted like dogs, and tried to yank off the stickers glued to their waists.
"Don't talk about what you don't understand, Mina!" Sero whined.
"Fine, hook me up then" She shrugged.
"Are you sure, Mina, ribbit?" Asui queried.
"I'm serious, this thing goes up to like level 8 and they're all dead at level 3. I wanna see if it's really painful"
"This'll be fun!" Kaminari cheered as Mineta made grabby motions for the remote. Yaoyorozu just held it up above his head while Mina was hooked up.
"Hm" Mina hummed as she tried to find the right words. "It kinda feels like…like normal cramps"
"This is normal?!"
"Keep going"
"Nooo!"
"Alright" Yaoyorozu nodded, turning the dial up another two notches to level 5, making the boys cry out in pain. If they thought level 3 was painful, they were wrong.
"Oh! And there she is!" Mina groaned as she hissed out a breath at the familiar feeling pulsing through her. She folded in half at the feeling, but otherwise remained standing. "Jesus! Fucking cramps!"
"Oh my God…" Iida stared up at the pinkette with disbelieving wide eyes. "You go through this every month?!"
"Yeah, pretty much" She nodded, straightening up now that she was kind of used to the feeling. "The intensity changes depending on the day in the cycle—sometimes it's unnoticeable and sometimes I wanna carve my uterus out with a spoon"
While they were distracted, Yaoyorozu took the opportunity to turn up the simulator all the way up to 7. Turning to her with a surprised scream and narrowed eyes, Mina sucked in a deep breath through gritted teeth as the pain radiated through her. "Jesus! Fuck!" She cursed, groaning at the sudden pain increase. "Yep, that hurts!"
"AHHH!"
"God! Why?"
The others laughed at their reactions as Yaoyorozu turned it up the final notch, all the way to 8. "Oh God!" She groaned, folding in half as she collapsed back onto the couch and curled up into a fetal position. Mina stayed like that, breathing heavily until Yaoyorozu finally switched the damn thing off, leaving their victims as a panting, wheezing mess on the living room floor.
"I'm never…making fun…of girls again!" Sero wheezed as Mina uncurled and sat up so she could be unhooked.
"And don't you forget it!"
