Breaking the News (4/4) "First and Last"
It was after seven AM when he finally made it back to his room. He simply couldn't take any more. After several tries at the electronic door, he finally got in. He sat on the bed for a moment, an emotionally exhausted wreck. As he sat there, he realized that he really didn't want to be alone. He didn't want to deal with his grief alone. So, as a solution to his problem, he gathered his toothbrush and the pajamas CJ had bought him so many years before, and left his room to knock on Donna's door.
She heard the knock on her door and, if she were honest with herself, she had been expecting it. She opened the door, and left it open for him, tacitly inviting him in. She turned around to look at him, standing just inside the doorway. He looked unbelievably tired, and immeasurably sad, and together they broke her heart. Without a word, she enveloped him in a hug. Though he had cried before that day, and had broken down in Mallory's arms, this time he just sobbed on Donna's shoulder. He cried for all the things he had never said to his mentor, for all the things Leo would never do.
She rubbed a hand soothingly along his back, helping him the only way she knew how. Words had been said already, and wouldn't help him now. As his sobs began to cease, he pulled away from her. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.
'What are you sorry for? So you broke down. I'd be more worried if you hadn't. It's been a long emotional day, and it's been even longer since you slept. The next few days won't be easy, but we'll get through them Josh. We all loved Leo, and we're all hurting right now, but we'll deal. We'll deal with the politics at hand, because Leo would kick our asses if we didn't. We can handle all of it Josh, because we'll handle it together."
Josh gave a small shake of his head. "I don't deserve you. But I love you anyway."
She smiled at him and took his hand to lead him to the bed. "Come, let's get some sleep. We can't handle all of this exhausted as we are.
He let himself be pulled to the bed, dropping his pajamas and toothbrush on the way. Together they sat on the edge of the bed, just thinking about the emotional ups and downs of the day. He pulled his hands from hers to rub them over his face. Then, he turned to look at her. "You were the first person I turned to today, throughout everything that's gone on. A few days from now, when we're both feeling steadier emotionally, I'd like to talk about making that permanent—you being the first and last person I see each day."
"When we talk about it a few days from now, Josh, the answer will be yes," Donna said, and with that simple statement, they scooted up the bed, got under the covers, and fell asleep, taking comfort in one another
Author's Note: The second story, Letters for the Future, should be up in the next few days. I meant to have this last part up yesterday, but I'm dealing with what's probably a nasty sinus infection.
