Chapter Twenty Two

Relishing the warmth of the coffee cup she held in her hands, Buffy barely spared her ringing cell phone a glance. She felt numb inside. Crying for about two hours straight will do that to you. She had splashed water on her face to diminish the redness around her eyes. It didn't do much but it was enough for her to go out. She couldn't stay in her hotel room, so she decided to wander the streets of LA until she found a decent looking Café. Huddled on a sofa in the back of one that she couldn't remember the name of, Buffy was debating whether or not to hurl her cell phone against the wall if it didn't stop ringing.

"You gonna answer that?"

Buffy's brow furrowed as she tried to place where she'd heard that voice before. It took her a split second before her eyes widened and she dropped her cup with a soft clank against a saucer and enveloped the man in a warm, desperate hug.

"Xander? What're you doing here?" she cried out.

"Thought it was about time I came and visited the gang," he wheezed.

"What's wrong with your voice?" Buffy asked without actually releasing him.

"I think you're crushing his lungs," another familiar voice responded. Buffy immediately let go of Xander and turned to the other person.

"Oz?" Not waiting for actual confirmation, Buffy wrapped her arms around him. He gave her a friendly pat on the back before Buffy pulled away.

"Seriously, what are you guys doing here?" she asked again, unable to keep the ridiculously huge smile off her face.

"Like the Xan-Man said, visiting," Oz replied with a small nod of his head.

"Yeah, all that hot sun of Africa and being with a bunch of slayers working out and sweating just isn't as much as fun as it used to be," Xander added. Buffy quirked a disbelieving eyebrow at him. "Alright so I still love it, but I missed you and the others more."

"He was pretty broken up about leaving," Oz commented. Xander discreetly elbowed him, causing Oz to smirk. "But I think having Xana along for the ride helped soften the blow." Buffy's brow furrowed.

"Xana?"

Xander smiled nervously. "She's a..."

"'Good friend' of his," Oz interrupted with mocking quotation gestures.

"Translation: Possible girl for smoochies?" Buffy teased. Xander plastered a fake smile on his face and jumped up and down with even faker enthusiasm.

"Oh goodie, it's time for Make Fun of the Carpenter for Liking a Transgenic! Whoever says the best jibe gets a special treat." He gave Buffy and Oz a pointed look. Buffy laughed and gave him another hug.

"I missed you guys," she said softly into his chest, holding on longer than before. Xander gently pulled away and looked into her eyes.

"Either having us here is actually bumming you out or the apocalypse-y goodness is really wearing you down. And as I like to believe in my ability to be loved by all, I'm gonna go with the apocalypse thing." Buffy's surprise at his statement was shown clearly on her face.

"How did you..."

"Willow," Oz answered simply. "We called your hotel room when we landed and she told us what happened."

"I'm hurt, Buffy. I would've thought impending doom would warrant at least a heads up over in ol' Africa." Buffy gave him a weak smile. Xander's brow furrowed. "Something else going on? Don't tell me Dead Boy's gone and lost that soul of his or anything..." Xander noticed the sudden distant look in Buffy's eyes and exchanged a look with Oz. "What'd he do now?"


Willow sat cross-legged on the edge of her bed, staring at the phone in front of her with a worried frown. Oz and Xander were here. Oz. Here. In LA. While elated happiness had been her first emotion, insecurity was quickly becoming her second. She hadn't spoken to him in about four years. Not since he left Sunnydale for good when he found out about her and Tara.

Tara.

A pang of grief gripped her heart. She still and always would miss her. Yeah, she was with Kennedy now, but no one could replace Tara. She was the first woman Willow had ever loved. She'd been her light when all she felt was dark.

Willow sighed and ran a hand through her hair, her insecurity quickly mounting as she realized Oz didn't even know about what she had done in Sunnydale a year and a half ago, unless Xander had told him. Though he knew what it was like to have a power he couldn't control, Oz had never fully given into his wolf side. She had no idea how well he could control it now, not having spoken with him in so long. But before he left the last time, they had both realized that the thing that brought the wolf out of him was her. Was that still true? Or could they finally be around each other without a proverbial full moon hanging over them? There were so many questions Willow wanted the answers to. But the only way to get them would be to actually see Oz in person. She wouldn't find what she was looking for by just talking to him on the phone.

The sound of the door opening to the hotel room startled Willow out of her reverie. Kennedy walked in and gave Willow a smile.

"Hey. Have you been sitting in here the entire time I was gone?" she asked, seemingly amused. Willow smiled back weakly and shrugged.

"I was trying to find Buffy or at least get in contact with her over the phone. And apparently I'm not the only one, Angel's been calling at least three times every hour since yesterday." Kennedy rolled her eyes.

"That guy just won't get a clue, huh? There's such a thing as giving a girl some space."

"He's just worried about her," Willow defended quietly. Kennedy cocked an eyebrow at her. "What?"

"You're defending him," she stated bluntly. Willow fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Well...I'm not sure what Buffy remembered after the glowy cube thingy went caplooey...but I know what I did. Connor is Angel's son. And apparently I met him last year when I went to restore Angel's soul in...here, LA." Kennedy nodded.

"I know, you told me already. But what I don't get is why you think Angel should be defended for what he did."

"That's just the thing! All I know is what Wesley and Angel told me...Angel had his son given fake memories so he wouldn't remember how awful his life had been. He'd been at the breaking point, wanting to kill himself, Angel, and Cordelia. It was the only way Angel would take over Wolfram & Hart. If it were my kid, I'd probably do the same thing. Since I haven't seen Buffy in the last 24 hours, I have no idea what has been changed in her mind or what she now remembers. So until I'm given a reliable and incriminating reason for me to be against Angel, yeah, I'll be defending him." Kennedy just stared at her, slightly surprised at her outburst. Willow exhaled slowly and her eyes fell on the phone on her bed again. "There's something else I need to tell you..."

"What?" Kennedy asked, her wariness evident on her face.

"Um...I just got a call from Xander," Willow began, but then found herself hesitating. "He just arrived in Los Angeles."

"And?" Kennedy prompted impatiently. "That's good right? He'll be able to call in more slayers to help us."

"Uh, yeah," Willow agreed quickly.

"Willow, spit it out. I know there's more for you to tell me. It'll be easier if you just say it straight out." Willow took a deep breath before complying.

"Well, Xander didn't come alone. He's with a transgenic named Xana..."

"You mean he's got a girlfriend? He finally got over Anya?" Kennedy interrupted. Willow fidgeted uncomfortably, but she felt the need to say it.

"I don't think he'll ever 'get over' Anya," she pointed out softly. Kennedy's face scrunched in confusion.

"I-I know, Will. I just meant that it's great that he's moved on. You can't dwell on the past forever, right?" Willow felt something inside her clench painfully as Kennedy's words hit home. She blinked a few times to keep her eyes from filling up and she looked straight into her face.

"Sometimes we can't help but remember people we've lost in the past. It's better to miss and grieve over them than to forget them completely," she stated, hardly noticing the angry edge that was lacing her tone. Kennedy looked taken aback.

"I'm sorry, Willow. That's not what I..." Willow gave a shake of her head.

"Forget it," she replied shortly as she grabbed her coat out of the closet. "I'm gonna go for a walk. I need to find Buffy...find out if she's okay." She headed for the door.

"Wait, Will! I'm..." Willow stepped out of the room and was about to close the door when she poked her head back in for a second.

"Oh, and Oz also camewith Xander," she explained quickly before shutting the door completely, not waiting to see what Kennedy's reaction was, though if she remembered everything that Willow had told her, then she wouldn't be the only insecure one.


Angel stared blankly at the pregnant woman. He knew that she had spoken with demons called the Fell Brethren that claim her baby is some kind of holy one talked about in a prophecy. But she wasn't Wolfram & Hart's new client, the bald, uneven grey-green skinned demons with hooded black robes sitting next to her were. He glanced over at Gunn, who was newly back to work and dressed in a sweatshirt and baggy jeans, not the usual suit. He was flipping through the contract that the demons wanted the woman, Amanda, to sign. Angel turned his attention back to the conversations the demons were having with her and quickly wished he hadn't.

"Are you taking the black cohosh we sent?" one of the demons asked. Amanda nodded with a small smile. "Lovely. Bipmep cut some articles out of 'Fit Pregnancy'. We'll be sure to send those along." He gave her a smile of his own that made Angel want to grimace. He started to say something but the words that came out of Gunn's mouth stopped him.

"Gordabach?" he questioned, his voice gaining a slight edge. One of the demons sent him an irritated look and gave a wave of his hand as if it were nothing.

"Yes, Gordabach. Just sign the papers, dear," he added to Amanda. Gunn ignored him and continued reading.

"It says 'On the eve of his 13th year, he will be prepared for the rites of Gordabach'. Amanda...it's a ritual sacri..."

"Whose lawyer are you!" The demon shrieked, pounding his fists on the table. Before anyone could respond to his outburst, the conference doors suddenly slammed open. Angel's eyes widened in surprise as Buffy strode in with a very pissed off expression on her face.

"I need to talk to you. Now," she snarled. Angel swallowed.

"I'm kinda in the middle of something," he protested lamely. Buffy's eyes blazed up a notch.

"Does it look like I care?" she snapped heatedly. Angel sighed and quickly excused himself from the others. Buffy led him out of the room and into a deserted hallway. When she turned to face him again, Angel cringed inwardly at the venomous expression on her face.

"Listen, Buffy, I..." his words were quickly cut off as Buffy slapped him. He brought his hand up to his cheek and stared at her in surprise. Her lower lip was trembling.

"How could you do that to me?" she asked softly. Then she suddenly gave him a hard shove against the wall. "How could you do that to me! What gives you the right?"

"Buffy, please..."

"No! I don't owe you anything! You violated my mind, Angel! You can't be the only one to decide what I remember and what I don't!"

"It was out of my control!" Angel argued. Buffy scoffed loudly and turned away. "You said it yourself! How could you go on living your life knowing what had happened that day?" Buffy whipped back around.

"I wasn't even given the chance, was I?" she shot back. "How do you know what would've happened? You'd broken my heart before and somehow, I survived! What makes that day any different?"

"I was human," Angel reminded her softly. "You may not like to think it right now, but I know some part of you realizes how big of a difference that makes it."

"Well, yeah. But excuse me for my ignorance. See, I've only just remembered what the hell happened!"

"Buffy, I'm sorry...You have to believe me..."

Buffy brought her shaking hands up to her forehead as her lower lip began to tremble even more. She shook her head back and forth, as if she didn't want to hear his voice anymore. Angel felt his own eyes welling up at the sight of her like that, and he reached forward to comfort her. His actions were rewarded with a punch to his face that sent him reeling into the wall again.

"Don't. Touch. Me," Buffy snarled. Angel brought his hand up to his jaw, trying to quell the throbbing. Tears were streaming down Buffy's face. When she spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "And...you have a son..."

"Buffy..."

She let out short, derisive laugh and trained her gaze on Angel's feet. "See...I like to think I'm pretty much an expert on vampires considering my job description. They die from stakes to the heart and fire, most are completely ruthless and evil to the core, you won't see 'em tanning on a beach anytime soon...But there's something else. Something a certain vampire with a soul once told me. Now what was it? Oh yeah. Vampires can't have children!" Angel winced at the sheer volume of her voice.

"They can't," he agreed. Buffy's face darkened.

"Don't even try denying it. I know what I heard. You can't fake-lie your way out of this one. Connor's your son. How he's already like 20 years old, I don't get. Either you did a damn good job at hiding yet another skeleton in your closet from me, or I'll go with that last bit of faith I have in you and say it happened pretty recently and something mystical decided to butt it's way in and mix things up." Angel could only nod. Buffy's jaw tightened. "Which one is it?"

"Bit of both, I guess," Angel replied. Buffy nodded slowly and took a few steps back from him.

"Figures," she muttered coldly.

"Buffy, just give me a chance to explain. You still don't know the whole story..." Buffy's head snapped up at that comment.

"What? Are you saying not all of my memories of that day were returned to me?" she growled.

"I don't know," Angel replied softly. "What do you remember?" Buffy bit her lip, trying futilely to stop the oncoming flood of new tears.

"Everything." Angel's chest constricted painfully.

"Buffy...I'm am so, so sorry...Please, just tell me what I can do..."

"To what? Ease the pain? Angel, you erased the day you became human. The day that we...that we...we finally..." Buffy closed her eyes in pain and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Buffy," Angel began softly, reaching out to her again, but she flinched away.

"Angel, you don't get it. I loved you, more than I've loved anything in this lifetime, and in less than ten minutes I find out that I was actually able to express that love to you in a way that didn't result in you going psychotic, and not only have you apparently moved on from that, you've found a way to have a son. A son you never even thought to tell me about. You've said before, your life here in Los Angeles has been busy. But something that drastic shouldn't matter...I'm sorry, Angel, but I can't...I can't be around you. Now more than ever I realize how much I love you. And we both know it can't work. There's an apocalypse coming up. I won't be abandoning my job on account of my feelings. I intend to fight, but after that...I'm going home. And we can forget everything that happened. Just like you wanted." She started to turn away.

"Buffy, wait..." Angel began but she silenced him by raising her hand just inches from his lips.

"Angel, please...just let it go..." With that, Buffy quickly hurried down the hallway, not giving him another glance.


Angel took a while to finally collect himself, letting thoughts run through his mind before coming to a decision. When he returned to the conference room, his face was a stony mask. Gunn was outside in the lobby arguing with the demons.

"You think we can't protect her?" he yelled.

"The Fell are everywhere! We are a force of nature," one of the demons argued back.

"Gunn," Angel interrupted tonelessly before Gunn could spout another retort. "The baby belongs to the Fell Brethren." Gunn opened his mouth to protest but Angel ignored him and turned to the demons, motioning for them to follow him back into the conference room.

"Angel. What are you doing?" Gunn asked incredulously.

"What we're supposed to be doing," Angel replied coldly over his shoulder without slowing down. "Serving our clients." With that, he shut the doors behind him, leaving Gunn in the lobby with an astonished expression on his face. Neither man noticed that Spike, Jondy, and Krit had seen the whole thing.

"Question," Krit whispered under his breath to Jondy and Spike. "Does that qualify as Angel doing something stupid?" Spike grimaced.

"I'd say so," he muttered, staring darkly at Angel's closed office doors. Jondy nodded her agreement and reached across her desk for her cell phone.

"We better call Max and Buffy..."


Max walked down the street at a brisk pace. Knowing she should be thinking of more complicated thoughts than just wanting her motorcycle back so she'd be able to get to places a lot quicker without having to resort to blurring, she tried to focus on the reason she was heading towards Wolfram & Hart in the first place. First Willow had called her and filled her in on Buffy's memory revelation situation, making Max realize it was only a matter of time before Buffy confronted Angel. Then Jondy called informing her of Angel's change of behavior. Either Buffy chewed him out and he's just moping in the worst way, or something much darker is starting to happen.

When she finally reached Wolfram & Hart, she was completely frazzled and gripped the door handle with more force than she meant to. Half of it snapped off into her hand. She stared at it in surprise, her action not quite registering yet.

"Um...that'll still open right?" a female voice asked from behind her. Max sent the woman a quick glance and a sheepish smile. Then she did a double take and dropped the broken handle, staring at the woman wide-eyed.

"Xana?" The woman grinned and the two transgenics embraced.

"Hey Max. How's it going?"

"Too complicated of a question. Ask another," Max replied smirking.

"Alright...What are you doing here?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing. Willow told me Xander and Oz brought along a transgenic with them from Africa, I didn't know it was you. How do you even know them?"

"Zane," Xana answered simply. Max's grin broadened.

"I forgot he was helping out there..." Off Xana's disbelieving look she added, "We've been busy over here. Sometime soon I'll have to fill you in but right now I gotta meet with the others." Xana nodded in understanding and reached around Max, pulling open the partly broken door and motioned her inside first.

"Then lead the way, sister," she said with a teasing smile.


Alec absently fiddled with the zipper on his jacket, feeling like he had to fill the silence somehow. Krit glanced over at him with an eyebrow raised.

"Is that your way of thinking now? But I guess I probably shouldn't complain, it won't happen often will it?" Alec rolled his eyes but released his zipper.

"That didn't take long," Faith muttered.

"So!" Alec stated loudly. "This little meeting is supposed to inform everyone on the current situation involving Angel and if he's getting his evil on or if he's just moping 'cause Buffy's pissed, so how does insulting me help with this?" Max rolled her eyes.

"Guess we just don't know what do to. I'm still waiting for the new load of transgenics from Seattle and anywhere else. Speaking of which, we need to find Buffy. I'm not in any position to order her friends Xander, Oz, and whoever else to get more slayers over here, which I think everyone agrees is becoming a necessity." The others nodded.

"So first things first," Spike added. "Find Buffy and hope she's not in broken mode." Max winced and noticed a dark gleam was in Spike's eyes. Without having to ask she knew he was feeling less than friendly towards the other souled vampire. Nice to know whose side he was on.

"Well it's dark now, so it's safe to say we can move freely without worrying about some nosy gawker," Xana commented.

"We all heading out then? Search but Not Destroy?" Jondy suggested. Max quickly shook her head.

"You and Krit stay here at Wolfram & Hart to keep an eye on Angel. Xana, you should go meet up with Xander and Oz in case Buffy's with them. Faith and Alec, go to the hotel. Talk to Kennedy and Willow and see if Buffy goes back to her room. Spike..." She waited until his eyes were locked with hers. "You've known her longer than all of us so you do your own thing. With luck, you'll probably find her first." Spike gave her a small grateful smile.

"What about you?" Faith asked. Max grimaced.

"I gotta go talk to Illyria. Our little fighting sessions are gonna have to end...It's a shame, I was just starting to like 'em."

"You have to actually tell her?" Krit asked. "You're not gonna just blow 'em off?" Max shook her head.

"Nah...I think I'll be less Bitchy Max and more Leader Max." Alec rolled his eyes.

"Great, 'cause ya know we all love her," he muttered sarcastically. Max smacked him upside the head without missing a beat.


The chilly air was creeping up Buffy's spine, making her shiver. Winter nights in Los Angeles had never been that fun, especially given her current circumstances. Pulling her coat tighter around her body, Buffy absently kicked a partially squashed coke can across the street. She glanced uninterestedly at a graveyard to her right.

Maybe some late night slaying will help me feel better...she thought. She slowed her pace, debating whether or not she should, when she felt a prickly sensation on the base of her neck, universal sign for There's a Demon Close By. She let her gaze roam over the cemetery, loosely gripping her stake when her eyes fell on a familiar head of bright blonde hair. Smiling slightly despite herself, Buffy tucked the stake back in her coat and waited for Spike to reach her.

"I was wondering who would be the one to find me," she stated. "What took ya so long?" Spike smirked.

"Coulda found you sooner, but Mr. Sunshine had something to say about that," he replied, matter-of-fact. Buffy nodded.

"True, I guess." Spike raised both eyebrows expectantly at her when she didn't continue. She gave him an innocent look. "What?" Spike rolled his eyes.

"Don't try it, pet. We all know you got some memory voodoo done to you by Angel. What, we don't know, but as I can be a very persuasive man, I figure I'll have you talking in less than five minutes." Buffy sighed heavily.

"Spike, you don't..."

"Ah!" He quickly interrupted, holding up a finger. "Wanna bet? 'Cause I could use a little cash..." Another smile played at the corner of Buffy's lips. Spike returned it. "Knew I could get a grin." Sighing again, Buffy walked over to a nearby bench and sat down.

"I'm beyond tired, Spike, so this True Confessions thing we're about to do can't reach the ears of the others without a little tweaking. My resolve is supposed to last longer than this..."

"Not your fault, I'm ridiculously charming," Spike replied happily as he took a seat next to her.

"Okay, here it is..." Buffy began, fidgeting slightly with her hands before continuing. "Remember the year after Angel left Sunnydale he came back for a few days without telling me?" Spike nodded with a neutral expression on his face. "Well, when I went to Los Angeles to yell at him...Something really...huge...happened." Spike's brow furrowed but he didn't comment, knowing she would eventually explain. "Angel became human." Spike's lips parted slightly in surprise.

"And you and he..." Spike trailed off, not wanting to actually say it out loud. Buffy averted her eyes from him and nodded. Spike scratched the back of his head and inhaled slowly. "I may regret asking this in the future but, what happened next?"

Tears began to make their way to Buffy's eyes as the memories flashed through her mind for the gazillionth time and she took a shaky breath before continuing.

"The demon that turned Angel human almost killed him, which made him realize that if he stayed human then one or both us may die...or least that's what the Oracles told him. So he...he..." Realizing she was near breaking point, Spike wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Buffy's voice cracked as she leaned into Spike's chest. "He turned back time. He erased it, Spike! How can he say he loves me if he doesn't even want what happened to actually be real?" Unable to come up with a reasonable answer without insulting Angel in a string of swear words, Spike continued to hold Buffy in his arms as she sobbed uncontrollably.

A/N-As I was writing this chapter I realized I hadn't had a scene with just Spike and Buffy in a while...Anyway, sorry for the long wait. My muse got stuck thanks to the mother load of homework...I'll try to make the next update faster but with the way things are going I can't guarantee anything :o(

Doza-Thanks ;o) Angel definitely had to endure a few slaps...hehe. And you're right, things are drawing to a close but I think there's still about 5-10 chapters left, I can't say for sure...

meri24-Lol, thanks ;o) I'm really glad you're enjoying this fic.

rabid squirrel-Thanks ;o) Me and my brother are kinda like that too :o)

satelliteblues21-Thanks ;o) As long as you review eventually it's great :o) More plot twists to come! Hehe.

screaminheathen69-Thanks ;o) I'm glad you liked it :o)