Chapter 3 – Next destination
In England, they were calling us "The Batman and Robin it's okay to like." I hated being compared to that fag, but I put up with it, for Kim. After all, she had put up with my fuck ups, so it's more than fair to keep my mouth shut. I don't know why, but England loved us, we were big. We were huge.
We started doing interviews for the national newspapers in Europe. I used to dream about being in an interview. I'd sit in my room as a kid and dream about what I would say in interviews. I used to love the idea of the people reading about me in the news, watching me on the television, hanging on my every word. I guess that's why they call them dreams, because that's not what was happening here. I was nothing more than a hero's boyfriend. The buffoon. The one no-one cared about.
Just like back at school.
I guess having our own place was a positive. I mean, what can be bad with sleeping in the same bed as Kim? I just wanna let you know, Kim Possible is the best fuck in the world. That's one thing I'm sure about, and one thing nobody could ever tell me otherwise. It's not like they knew anyway. Every day I thought it could be the start of a new life for me. And I thought for sure that I was gonna come out of this experience with a new outlook.
Isn't it funny when the expected happens when you least expect it?
I didn't think so this time.
They returned to me like a fucking boomerang. I couldn't stop them. Kill them. Drown them. The voices kept me awake… kept me from dreaming.
"You don't have to be this way" they would burn into my head.
"Realise
your dream. Just try it".
I guess all the heroine didn't help.
Maybe that's what caused them to come back. Maybe. Fuck it, I
thought it was worth a shot. After all, it was my dream, wasn't it?
I haven't dreamed in so long I've completely forgotten.
The next mission came; Drakken… again. He was threatening France with his new doomsday cannon. Of course Kim said she'd be there…
But Kim couldn't find me anywhere and Rufus was just as lost. Oh, and I already found out about that tracking chip. Whilst getting my stomach checked, they found the chip and removed it. I had already went ahead to solve the problem myself, and boy was Shego happy when I arrived.
But I don't think Shego appreciated my talents as much as I did.
She didn't say it, but the look on her blood-stained, unconscious head more than screamed it, just as loud as the screaming voices in my head. Drakken pissed himself, rushing off with Shego in his arms completely forgetting about his doomsday device.
I always wanted to know what recognition felt like. It was like a conversation with the universe. Before I knew it, the press were after me. Now, people on the streets were calling my name, coming up to me and asking about my life. Questions. The questions kept coming, kept repeating. All I could do was answer them with as much truth as possible, without delving too far into my personal life.
Returning home to Kim was bittersweet. She was happy for me and my new found fame, I guess you could say she was proud. But, there was a dark thought behind it. She had found out what I did to Shego, let's just say she was upset.
Maybe upset was putting it mildly.
She would cry a lot. She shut me out for a while. I felt completely lost without her, my heroine, so I had to resort to my other love. One I wish I could share with her. As I stuck the needle in my arm I felt the pressure lifted from me, the voices quietened, the screams in my stomach silenced, and my thoughts of Kim paused.
I guess when you're dreaming, you don't realise what you have at that moment.
After talking it out, we got close again. She forgave me for the brutal damage I did to Shego, and I guess you could say we made up. It's been a long time since I've heard Kim scream in pleasure, the sound was intoxicating. She made me feel special. She made me feel happy.
She made me feel.
Things were different now. Kim would go off to college every weekday, while I would go out on the missions. I promised Kim that the thing with Shego wouldn't happen again. It's hard to keep your word when you're so fucking angry. Though things were different, at this point in time, it was for the better. I was finally living my dreams. Dreams of heroism. I loved the spotlight, it's what kept me going. But there were so many missions. So many missions, by now I guess I made the decision to become a junkie. But it didn't feel like a decision, more like a vocation.
As I screamed at the villains, my stomach screamed at me. I wasn't recovering, I was getting worse and she was the only thing that made it any better.
I guess to the people on the outside, looking in, it looked pretty fucking scary.
Kim had no idea what was going on in my head, or in my spare time. She didn't know that I had the voices, she didn't know that I felt like shit everyday. And she sure as shit didn't know about my addiction.
Maybe that's why fame always ends up fucking you in the ass.
"Ron Stoppable: Hero Junkie". I guess the Middleton newspapers seem to feed off rumours, as I never told anyone.
I don't think Kim understood why.
No matter how much I denied it, Kim didn't believe me. She was smart like that, she knew I was hiding something all along. It took her a while to accept what had happened, and with a promise to come clean, she said she'd help. I said I'd do it. For myself. For her.
And for the baby we were going to have.
