What Happens in My Dreams

Chapter Four

Author's Note: (sigh) Why am I doing this? I only have one reviewer and a minor case of writer's block...(rubs head) And a small headache to boot! Well, I gotta get this done. For myself, I guess...
Song inspiration for this chapter is "Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavinge. I love this song and I think it kind of shows what really goes on in Rose's mind.

Moogle: Sad...

Disclaimer: I only own Serenity Rose and Sahru, okay?

(sighs again) OK, this chappie's gonna be mainly thoughts, mainly Rose's thoughts, so anything that's in italics are thoughts..but you knew that... And there are some thoughts of death...

Reviews:

Auron's Fan: Hey! I hope you find more reviewers for me soon... (sighs) Oh, here more Auron cookies. Double chocolate...(steals one)

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Previously:

We finally arrived in Kilika...

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Serenity Rose sighed and looked up at the night sky. After the group docked at Kilika, they slept at the inn. The following morning Ryoko suggested that they take a break. Now it was midnight and she sat on the dock above the water, deep in thought.

(A/N: This part is like a narraration, just so ya know...)

"Sometimes I wonder...why am I doing this? Going on a journey just to die at the end... I guess it's one way to die. Instead of just finding a way when no one's looking. A summoner's journey is like suicide. It works for me, I guess... But to have to sacrifice one of my friends... How will I do that? They...mean too much to me. But...I'm a summoner. That's my path. The steps to being a summoner, in my point of view, are:

1) Don't fall in love, 2) Keep at your journey and keep your feelings inside, and 3) Keep those emotions bottled up inside...even if the bottle can't hold much more...

Stupid, isn't it? Keeping myself from loving another because of a stupid pilgrimage... If I do find one I love, I'd be sure to tell them before I die. That I'd make sure of."

"...The stars look so beautiful tonight..how they reflect off of the ocean. They remind me of pyreflies... Now, I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever have to perform a sending. That eerie dance... I remember when Sin attacked Besaid. I was visiting there. A small family in Luca had adopted me after my parents died. We were taking a trip to Besaid. Unfortunately, on our second day there, Sin attacked. Felicity, my adopted mother, was found dead by a hut. Hiro, my adopted father, was found in a bloody heap by the temple. Kano, their son and my adopted brother, had been swept out to sea. The resident priests found me in the remains of one of the huts, unconscious. The next day I found out I was the only one of that family that had survived. Now all I have left are Sahru and Ryoko. They're like my brother and sister, in a way. I guess growing up with them for eight years really makes you close, you know? I just hope I don't lose them like I did with my other families. But...I'll lose one of them in the end, won't I?"

She shook her head.

"I shouldn't be thinking about this right now."

Footsteps were heard from behind. Serenity Rose turned her head to see Sahru standing before her.

"What'cha doin' out here, Sen? It's past midnight. Ryoko was going to make us take another day off for shopping, remember?" He asked. She nodded.

"And," he added with a grimace. "if you don't wake up, she'll take it out on me."

Rose chuckled, then looked up at the moon again.

"The moon is pretty tonight." She mused. Sahru looked up to the moon, then shook his head.

"Let's head back."

She nodded her head and glanced up at the moon one last time. Sahru started heading back to the inn. Serenity Rose silently followed.

After a few steps, she slowed down and quietly sang to herself, "She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes. Broken inside..." She hadn't noticed that Sahru had stopped and ran right into him.

"You okay?" He asked with a concerned look.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Because when you have a problem, Rose, you tend to sleep in. I've noticed. Don't think I haven't!"

His cheeky response made her laugh, then she just walked by him.

"C'mon Sahru! You're so slow!" She hollered. He frowned.

"Hey!" Hearing Rose's remark, Sahru caught up to her, flashed a cocky grin, then ran right past her.

"Who's the slow one now?" He asked. Serenity Rose couldn't help but laugh at his playfulness.

"I guess, being a teenager, I have a right to have mood swings! Sad, then happy...my mind is a strange one, I will admit..."

"Come on!" Sahru whined. He was at least 20 feet ahead of her.

"Coming!" Rose yelled. She jogged up to him, smiled, and walked towards the inn.

"You, Rose, are the strangest summoner I have ever met." Sahru muttered when he was sure she was out of earshot.

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There ya go. Chappie. Short chappie. E's cunno. I ended up switching to "Welcome to My Life" by Simple Plan in the middle. But what do you care, anyway?

Moogle: Please review. She's getting desperate.

Me: (pulls out flamethrower) Okay! Review, or I'm gonna burn you straight to hell!

Brie: (anime sweatdrop)

Review...please...