Chapter Twenty-Five


A compromise had been made and an agreement had been signed. As a result, a representative from the north had been placed on the governing council, and Kothlis was once again at peace. After a month of intense negotiations on both sides, I was headed back to Coruscant.

I had tried contacting Padmé several times but had been forced to leave messages. I blamed the distance and the unreliable tech on Kothlis for the transmission difficulties except for the fact there had been no reply even during flight.

After rushing through the Jedi Council debriefing, I quickly returned home, not all that surprised to find the apartment was empty – and appeared to have been that way for some time. My heart began a battle with my mind as I tried to reason where she had gone and why. Discovering the golden ring abandoned upon the common room table only made matters worse.

Seeking the Force diligently to stay calm and in control of my emotions, I was able to somehow keep my wits and step into the bedroom. It was spotless, most likely having been cleaned by the housedroid recently. However, her wardrobe revealed several of her gowns were missing, as were her travel bags.

Naboo. She had most likely returned to Naboo and I had no doubt I would discover her in the home of her adopted family, Jobal and Ruwee Naberrie.

My first reaction was to storm out and immediately go to her and demand she come back home. But as I rushed out of the apartment building, intending on hailing the nearest transport, I paused.

What if she didn't require my presence? What if she didn't want me to come?

She could've checked her messages. She could've replied. Obviously, she didn't wish to speak with me. I could force her to listen to reason, although I actually had no right. We weren't officially a couple. If not, then what were we? Just friends?

No. Surely, our relationship meant more to her than that, although I did recall how she had refused my offer of marriage and then left without saying anything to me about her travel plans.

There could be many reasons why she had gone, although I couldn't settle on a single one that didn't cause me pain.

I could and probably should meditate on the matter, but had a better idea. I went directly to the Jedi Temple and sought out some advice and comfort from one who had listened to all my heartaches for most of my life.

Luckily, Qui-Gon was enjoying some rare downtime and I found him in his private rooms, reading – a favorite past-time of his and one he always complained about not having enough time to do. He seemed surprised to see me but pleased as well and offered me a drink before setting his data-reader aside.

I allowed myself to drop down in the lumpy chair I had suggested he get rid of years ago. The thing barely stood on its four wobbly legs. Qui-Gon had insisted though, that the cushions of it had finally gotten to know him intimately after all this time and embraced him like a lover.

Speaking of…

I told him my side of the story while he studied me closely. His blue gaze was intense as usual but full of compassion. Once I'd finished, I sat passively and anxiously awaited his reply.

"First of all, I'm sorry for your loss," he began while leaning forward onto his knees. "Losing a child, especially one you haven't gotten a chance to get to know yet, is difficult. And apparently, Padmé is taking this much harder than you realized. In my opinion, I believe you did the right thing in allowing her the time to process her grief. You can't blame yourself. Kothlis benefitted from your commitment. You have honored your duty as a Jedi and now you need to honor her. Go to Naboo. Quickly. You don't need to say anything to her. Just be there. Even if she doesn't want to see you, your presence will bring her comfort."

His advice was sound but it didn't make me feel any better. My feelings weren't exactly the issue, though, were they? I had to think about what was best for Padmé.

"You don't believe she'll think I'm interfering?" It was one of my biggest worries. Padmé was a strong-willed and determined woman and I was still fairly new at this sort of thing.

"Padawan, although you're a man and experience the passions and problems we all do, you're also a Jedi. The Force will guide you even in matters of the heart. Once you open yourself to it, you'll be able to sense her state of mind. You'll know. At this point, don't overreact and try not to think the worst of the situation. You've always had a tendency to do that."

I realized that particular fault in myself and had sat through many lectures on trusting the Force as a Padawan. I had hoped I'd matured enough by now not to jump to any conclusions, but the abandoned ring and the lack of communication had me concerned. And what if she had reconsidered Bant's suggestion? I hadn't even spoken with Bant! What if she had requested the anecdote and was at this very moment rejoining the Mer in the Abyss?

I forced the thoughts my Master had just warned me about from my head and took a deep breath, centering myself in the soothing presence of the Force.

"Thanks, Master," I told him earnestly. "The Council promised me a week. Hopefully, I won't spend it all standing on the street staring at a door she's refusing to answer."

"Can you think of a better place to be?"

I hadn't expected such a question and had to think about it, although an answer came quite readily. Of course not. When I wasn't working, being near Padmé was exactly where I belonged.

"Looks like I'm headed to Naboo," I told him smiling.