1.21 Giga-Whats?


Pans to the Blues trying to catch Donut whilst running away.

Cunningham: Come back here you red-tarded bastard!

Donut: Woah!

Church then blocks Donut's pass, pointing his rifle at him.

Church: Freeze!

Donut: Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me?! You coulda hit me, dick!

Church: Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge. I know who ya are. We've been spying on you for three weeks now.

Cunningham: We could've attack you at the very moment but Church here said "nooo,"

Church: Hey can it, Ill do the talking.

Donut: I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sergeant, I'm a Private.

Church: Wait a minute, you're not the Sergeant!

Barrus: So, we were outdone by a rookie?

Cunningham: Goddammit! I fucking knew it! That blue-ass dumbass Just let this shit hole slip and steal our fucking flag!

Donut: Yeah, that's what I just said, eh. Wait, Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!

Tucker then come out of the teleporter covered in tar.

Tucker: Aaaaghh! Son of a bitch! Shit that hurts!

Church: JESUS!

Donut: HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy?

Cunningham: Shit! Tucker!

Church: What in the hell!? Tucker?

Tucker: Fuck you Cunningham!... How did you guys get up here ahead of me?

Donut: And what's with that black shit on your armor?

Scott: It's tar!

Tucker: Hey! Freeze, Sarge!

Donut: Would you stop calling me a Sergeant, I'm still just a Private.

Tucker: The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time.

Church: What!?

Cunningham: Tucker! Your still here, you didn't get time travel! That's bullshit!

To Patterson opening the door to Fong' room

Patterson: Hey Fong! were gonna need some help.

Fong who was sitting and playing on his guitar (read my mind).

Fong: ~You Read My Mind~ Hmm... (turns to Cartoonz), Whoah! ( falls from his chair)

Patterson: Oof sorry.

Fong: What the hell, Man! Knock!

To Grif and Simmons getting in the Warthog which has Tejano music playing, waiting for The others.

Patterson: Hey guys got the others.

Simmons: Okay!

Grif: Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep.

Hanby: Don't let anyone drive the other one! Got it Lopez!

Lopez nods

Simmons: I'll take gunner. (takes gunner position)

Patterson: Taking the second seat!

Grif: How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?

Simmons: (calls out as they drive off) Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece.

Fong: ALRIGHT! Lets drive.

Back to The Blues and Donut

Tucker: Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Some time in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they get this new jeep, and I'm all like, "There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!"

Church: Tucker? What the fuck are you babbling about?

Cunningham: Tucker, what drugs are you on? I wanna try it.

Barrus: Uhhh, I don't think that's time to talk about that

Tucker: I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals our flag while we're distracted.

Donut: Is this guy a retard?

Cunningham: Hey! (aims smg) Nobody says that to blue team but me!

Church: (The Warthog's Tejano music gets progressively louder as he speaks) Red? Shut up. Tucker? Listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time, okay? This IS the guy who stole the flag, he's just not the Sergeant. Turns out he's just some dumb rookie who happens to have the same color armor as him. He got in somehow, just... for God's sake! WHAT IS THAT MUSIC!?

Warthog jumps over the hill right by Church.

Grif: Woohoo!

Hanby: (doing a Schwarzenegger impression) You've been Terrorized argh. (raises his minigun with his right gun and fires)

Fong: Yeepekayay Motherfuckers!

Tucker: Holy shit!

Cunningham: Fuck! Retreat! Retreat!

Church: Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run!

Tucker: The jeep followed me back in time!

Scotty: No It Did not!

Patterson, Fong and Grif hops out of the Warthog as Simmons and Terrorizer yells and fires at Church and Tucker as they run away.

Church: Ow! Git! Ow! Git! Ow, ow!

Simmons: (in background) That's right! That's right, I got your ass! Get off your ass and run, you cock bites! Right now! Yeah, not so pretty when you gotta run are you! Yeah, that's right! Stay there! You know where your flag is? We're gonna get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, Blue! Come on, get out there! I've got a whole barrel of love to shoot you with! Come on! Get out now! Yeah, come on out! I know you like this! Come out where I can get you! Come on! Don't be a wimp! Come on, Blue! Be tough, get out there!

Hanby: (in the background still doing the Schwarzenegger voice) Come on, Give it to me, come on give it to me. Argh, Argh, Argh. Whos your daddy and what does he do? Come on give me an Argh, AAAAgh. Ya little blue shitters, give it to me, give me the kill, aghhhhh- (Coughs)- Arrrrgghhhh!

Patterson: (holds his laughter) What the fuck?

Fong: Man they are loud as fuck!

Grif: What the hell is going on here?

Donut: You know what? I honestly have no idea what's going on. I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane.

Grif: How did you get the flag?

Donut: I don't know, I just asked for it.

Grif: Wait, that worked?

Donut: I guess. Is it not supposed to?

Patterson: I don't know, we.. never even thought to try that. Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there.

Donut: Not until someone tells me what the fuck is go-

Grif: There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there.

Donut: Fine!

Donut starts running through the Gulch.

Grif: (scoffs) Back to our base, dumbass!

Donut: Uh, I know. I just got turned around, that's all.

As Donut runs to Red Base an explosion nearly hits him.

Donut: Aaahh!

Fong: Watch It! Those were my Landmines!

Donut: That nearly hit me!

Grif: Just GO!

To Blue base

Jonathan: Man They are getting fucked! (turns to Caboose) Should-should we help them?

Caboose: But what are we supposed to do?

The two looks at the Tank. then looks at each other

Back to the Blues who was now covering themselves behind a giant rock

Simmons: (in background) Yeah, get going! Take that! I know you like that there! Come out! Come here! Poke your head up! Come on, Blue! Get your head out there!

Handby: (in the background still doing the Schwarzenegger voice) AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Church: Well, we'll just wait here. Those thing's gotta run outta bullets some time.

Barrus: Really Doubt that...


Seriously Though, How do you delete your own comment?