Chapter Ten: Continued Disappointments

Jane, unlike her sister, had found Mr. Darcy's prompt visit so encouraging that she was determined on waiting for Miss Bingley or Mrs. Hurst to call the very next day. Though Elizabeth was determined that they would not, there was no dissuading her sister; but neither came the next day. It barely chipped away at Jane's hope though—surely she had expected too much of them—so they were obliged to wait again the next day, staring expectantly out the window. And the next day; and the next day; and the day after that—and so was their morning ritual every day for the next three weeks. Elizabeth thought it quite unnecessary, and towards the end of the aforementioned period, even Jane was beginning to become disheartened.

"Oh, Lizzy! It fills me with sorrow that they have not yet come. And it is impossible that Mr. Bingley shouldn't know of our being in town now—he must not care for me; have never cared for me—and yet they still do not call! I am so deeply grieved."

"Dear Jane; how I knew your disappointment would be so, yet I knew that there was no avoiding it. But pray, cheer up, for I will let you know that none of them mean anything to me, and they should mean nothing to you either. I should never forsake you as they have."

Elizabeth continued to encourage her sister to be cheerful with such little comments; and she had nearly restored Jane to her usual lightness of spirit, when they heard a carriage pulling up to the house, and saw none other than Miss Bingley approaching the house. Jane was filled with such immediate delight, though Elizabeth disgusted that she dare come after having disappointed her sister for so many weeks; and so Elizabeth hesitatingly set out to meet her.

Miss Bingley seemed to be in a particularly foul mood; she had a discernible scowl upon her face for the entirety of the visit, and her behavior was bordering on being uncivil. Even Jane was shocked at her manners, and neither their aunt nor uncle impressed at all with Miss Bingley. She barely apologized for having neglected them for so very long, and only stayed all of ten minutes before setting off as quickly as possible, seeming as if she would need much more cleansing from such a place than even Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth found herself, during the visit, almost wishing that she were Mr. Darcy instead; for though their meeting with him had been awkward and filled with more silence than conversation, he had been no more reserved or unsociable than he ever was.

Such a melancholy humor overtook Jane when Miss Bingley had left, that Elizabeth wondered if she should ever recover from such a blow. She declared herself quite ill, and set off for her bedchamber—Elizabeth was sincerely grieved for her sister, and her resentment of Miss Bingley reached a new height. Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner could not help but remark on how abominably rude Miss Bingley had been; and it did not even escape some of the older children that she was without question the most ill-humored lady whom they had ever encountered.

Elizabeth could not but give her acquiescence to such proclamations, and then went after Jane to hopefully comfort her. She came upon her sister, who was looking quite pale and poorly indeed.

"Oh Jane! Please, think no more of Miss Bingley. She quite clearly is not worthy of your companionship; not worthy of being distressed over. Do cheer up! I cannot bear to see you in such a state. If you will not be happy for your own sake, then do it for mine; for I can never be happy if you are not."

"Of course you are right, Lizzy," said Jane quietly, "but I cannot help but be excessively disappointed—oh!—but surely, I have no desire to continue the acquaintance now. It is clear that she does not wish to—and did you hear how apparent it was that Mr. Bingley knew of our being in town, and did not care to meet with us?"

"I would not trust Miss Bingley's word any more than I would trust any gossiping female in Meryton. Pray, let us cut ourselves completely off from them! Insolent, undeserving people!"

"Yes—I shall endeavor to forget that I ever knew them—and Aunt and Uncle Gardiner have been so kind to us—it would certainly be doing them a disservice if I was not tolerably happy. Why, it is only February, and we still have till mid-March to enjoy ourselves. I have been most unhappily deceived in Miss Bingley's regard for me—but I am so glad to have you, dear Lizzy, to comfort me."

"You are exactly in the right mind of thinking! Pray, continue on in this way, and we shall both be as light as a feather. We are to dine with the Lewises tonight, and do you not remember how very pleasant and obliging they all were? And I remember that you got on uncommonly well with Miss Eleanor Lewis."

"Of course! Dear Miss Lewis, what a pleasant girl. I shall think no more of Miss Bingley, and only of the happy Miss Lewis. What a charming performer she is on the pianoforte!"

And so their conversation continued, with incessant praise of Miss Lewis. Elizabeth was quite glad to have effectively cheered up her sister, and to have swiftly enough turned the tide of their conversation; though Jane was never quite so happy as Elizabeth would have liked, she was cheery enough so that no one but her dearest sister could notice any change at all in her countenance. London was full of diversions to keep their attention away from Miss Bingley or Mr. Bingley, with their speaking as little of them as could be expected. Every now and then Jane would praise someone to her sister by comparing them with Mr. Bingley; and though Elizabeth discouraged such form of praise, it could hardly be helped. Jane had never fancied herself in love before, and she still looked upon him with all the warmth of first attachment, if not so towards his sisters. Elizabeth was so happy with Mr. Darcy never calling on them again, that she was able to keep from speaking of him. Miss Bingley could have him; their tempers seemed alike enough that they would do each other very well. Elizabeth sometimes amused herself, when she had trouble sleeping, of imagining Miss Bingley vying for his attention unsuccessfully; she had occasionally wondered whether he did not notice her attentions because he was truly oblivious, or because did not wish to notice them.

Though Elizabeth tried as best she could to not think of them, it was impossible for her to shut them out completely; and she had a recurring sort of nightmare. At first it did not seem so dreadful—she would be in a pretty little field, with wildflowers, which overlooked the sea, and dressed in a white silk gown. She would hear a gentle little piano tune, and follow its sound till she found a grand pianoforte, quite in the middle of nowhere, with Miss Darcy, who quite looked like a miniature version of Miss Bingley, playing. Then, she would see Mr. Darcy with her mother, who came upon them and insisting that they marry. She would turn away, only to see Miss Bingley, wielding a rather large axe. So she would run like anything, with them all running and screaming after her, till she fell off the cliff and went plummeting to the ocean—and then she woke up. She couldn't comprehend the meaning of it; why her subconscious chose to torture her so, and why on earth she imagined Miss Bingley with an axe. It was so ridiculous and nonsensical that she did not think it worth mentioning to anybody.

Despite trifling little nightmares, and the occasional mention of Mr. Bingley by Jane, the remainder of their time in London was spent quite well. They were quite constantly engaged with their aunt and uncle's acquaintances, and learnt of many of the latest fashions, and went to the theater very frequently. The weather was generally mild, save one small storm, and the shift from winter to spring was coming on very gradually.

"Well," said Mr. Gardiner as they were all eating dinner, "you have only a week longer to spend with us before you are on your way to Kent! I hope that you have passed your time here not disagreeably?"

"Oh, it has been so very pleasant, Uncle Gardiner!" Jane assured him; "I should infinitely prefer it to have stayed at Longbourn."

"And I too," added Elizabeth with a smile.

Their aunt and uncle spoke happily of their nieces' satisfaction, and they spent the rest of dinner reminiscing of all of the good memories which they had created during their visit, and spoke nothing of the bad ones. The children declared that they would be excessively sorry to see their favorite cousins go; Jane especially was a favorite among them, for her temperament was exactly right to give children (or anyone, really) a favorable impression of her. Elizabeth, too, enjoyed entertaining the children; but none could take so much pleasure in it as Jane.

The days hastily passed by; and soon it was not but one day till the arrival of their parents and younger sisters were expected. Their correspondence with them had been as frequent as could be expected, so they were quite certain of their coming on time. Elizabeth was sorry to be leaving so soon; for she knew that with Kent, there would be Mr. Collins and Lady Catherine de Bourgh (with whom she expected to find a proud, conceited woman, according to Mr. Wickham's intelligence), and perhaps the worst of all, Mr. Darcy.