Chapter 12: Lady Catherine
Hunsford Parsonage was in such a pandemonium the next day that Elizabeth doubted that they might ever return to normality. Mr. and Mrs. Collins had taken care to stress that they wore whatever they thought was best, which sent Kitty and Lydia, who cared the most about their appearances, into a complete panic. Which dress was better, how ought they to do their hair? All members of the household were bombarded with such questions. Mrs. Bennet was so insistent upon their all dressing with such care that it was taking the entire day just to dress; and then, when Mr. Collins reminded them that Lady Catherine wished them to be very punctual ten minutes before they had better leave, they were all running around and attempting to ready themselves as quickly as possible.
"Oh dear! Oh my!" cried Mrs. Bennet as she ran about the house anxiously. Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet, perhaps, were the only two creatures in the household who were prepared.
Mr. Bennet chuckled, and said to his second daughter, "If every day were spent in such a manner, I should never be bored again."
"If every day were spent in such a manner, I should never get any sleep," countered Elizabeth. They both laughed, and at last, Kitty and Lydia came forward, dressed with exceptional care, and adjusting their posture to be the most ladylike and flattering that they could imagine.
"Lizzy! You have a stray hair!" cried Kitty on observing her sister's appearance, seeming absolutely mortified. Elizabeth merely smiled and smoothed her hair back. She was not afraid of Lady Catherine, as everybody else seemed to be.
Soon after the rest of the party appeared, and they resolved on setting off at last. It was a short walk to Rosings, and a pleasant one; it was an overcast day, so there was no sun, but it was only midday so there was still ample light to see. Mr. Collins spoke of the number of windows which Rosings boasted, and the price of the glazing, and the vast number of rooms. When they came upon the place, Elizabeth saw that it had as much splendor and grandeur as she had expected; the gardens were very well-tailored, and the entrance as grand as she had ever seen. Lydia and Kitty were speechless, though Mrs. Bennet was not amazed enough by it to hold her tongue. Jane spoke warmly of its charm to Mr. and Mrs. Collins, while Mr. Bennet and Elizabeth simply admired for a bit, and then laughed at the reactions of the rest of the party.
They were shown into a large parlor, with intricate tapestries adorning the walls, and furniture enough to fill all of Hunsford. They then came upon Lady Catherine and her daughter; and all seemed to be awed by the elegance of her dress, and the sternness of her expression. They were then introduced formally. Elizabeth was surprised to find a very small, slight creature in Miss de Bourgh—she would never have guessed that she and her mother were at all related—and she had such a cross and sickly countenance that Elizabeth was immediately convinced of her making Mr. Darcy a very proper wife.
Tea was ordered for them all, and then the interrogations of Lady Catherine began. She could not say enough on any subject, and was constantly asking questions of all of the Bennet girls and their parents, and giving careful advice for it all. She scolded Mary on having her hairstyle put up in exactly the wrong way; and Kitty and Lydia were fearful that such accusations would then be directed towards them, but they were luckily spared. There was not twenty seconds in a row that passed without Lady Catherine having something to say for herself; and Elizabeth was not so sure that she meant to be helpful or that enjoyed the sound of her own voice.
"Pray, Lady Catherine," said Mary when she had at last a chance to speak, "when are your two nephews to arrive for Easter?"
"Oh!" she responded, "Of course, dear Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr. Darcy!"
"Did you say Colonel Fitzwilliam?" interrupted Lydia boldly with a hopeful look on her face. It was extremely comforting to know that perhaps Kent was not completely without militiamen to entertain them.
"Indeed I did, Miss Lydia," replied Lady Catherine, with a disapproving look on her face; she then turned back to Mary, and said, "They had ought to come these three days. But of course, it will be necessary for me to introduce them to you. They are very fine gentleman, I assure you. Mr. Darcy, good fellow, has a large estate in Der—"
"We have already met Mr. Darcy in Hertfordshire," said Elizabeth, not wanting to hear anything of praise of such an odious man.
"But do tell us of Colonel Fitzwilliam!" begged Kitty, mustering up the courage to speak for the first time.
Lady Catherine was very pleased to explain in full the history of her nephew; but they became quite disinterested upon learning that he was not so very young, and that the general opinion of him was that he was not so entirely handsome, though Lady Catherine spoke greatly of his charm. But to the two youngest Miss Bennets, there could be no charm in someone who did not have a pleasant smile, or a handsome face.
When their visit had ended, Elizabeth concluded her to be very much what she had expected. She was affable enough to suit the fancy of Mr. and Mrs. Collins—for she absolutely forbade them to leave without going back to the parsonage in her carriage—but no more than the typical, aristocratic woman. It was very obvious that she thought highly of herself, and of her daughter, who appeared to have no talents, though Lady Catherine de Bourgh was certain that she would have had her health allowed her to develop them. Miss de Bourgh only spoke when it was necessary, and spent most of the time principally occupied with her governess.
"Lady Catherine is very pleasing, and certainly very friendly," concluded Jane as they all returned to the house.
"Oh! Indeed, Mr. Collins, she is everything that you had said she would be! And such great advice; why, you had not said what advice she gives!" cried Mrs. Bennet.
"Did I not? How unforgivable of me! I do apologize, most sincerely, for not having informed you of such a merit. Yes, yes, I knew that you would all be pleased; for who could not be?" said Mr. Collins.
Elizabeth would have very much liked to object to his latter supposition, but did not think it wise to say anything ill of Lady Catherine before her most adamant admirer; so she simply made a brief comment saying that she was a good a patroness, and eagerly set off for the stairs, wanting very much to escape the energy which surrounded the rest of the party. Jane followed after her, as she could not resist a tête-à-tête with her sister.
"Now, Jane, tell me your real opinion of Lady Catherine," said Elizabeth.
"Lizzy! I really did find her pleasing."
"I found her to be exactly as I expected. She certainly is determined on making herself useful, I will grant her that; but certainly she thinks very well of herself, and poorly of others."
"But our family has certainly made a good alliance."
"I suppose it is so; though I am not so sure that a good alliance is an alliance with Mr. Darcy's family."
"Poor Mr. Darcy! He is to come in three days, and here you will be, abusing him so. Really, you must be a little forgiving! He has done nothing so unworthy!"
"Jane! Do you not remember what he did to poor Mr. Wickham?"
"I am more convinced that it was all a misunderstanding; for Mr. Bing—"
Jane, realizing whose name she had been on the verge of saying, became instantly silent.
"I shall promise to be more moderate in my censure, then," said Elizabeth, hoping to quickly overcome the awkwardness of the moment.
"Thank you," said Jane softly.
They both stood. As Elizabeth glanced out the window she saw that the clouds which had lingered in the sky were now dissipating, and she fancied that she might take a walk. Jane sighed, and turned to look at her sister. They shared a long, serious gaze, before their solemnity was interrupted by the entrance of another.
"Jane! Lizzy! Is not Lady Catherine so very good to our Mr. and Mrs. Collins? And have you ever seen such elegance of dress, or well-bred manners? She is everything that is good; and Mr. Darcy, to come in three days, ay Lizzy? Well, I dare say we shall see him at church, and I will see to it that he is invited by my good girl Mary," exclaimed Mrs. Bennet happily.
"Mama, that is not—" Elizabeth began; but her mother would not hear of not scheming to have Mr. Darcy fall in love with her.
"So modest, so humble! I am sure that Mr. Darcy will like that very much. Now, what say you that we go to that pretty little town we passed by on our way here and get you a new dress? Yes, yes; you can't be seen by Mr. Darcy in that thing!"
"Really, Mama! I am going to take a walk," said Elizabeth, becoming a bit exasperated, and quickly excused herself.
"Oh! Jane, do you suppose I have made Lizzy angry? Poor dear, she has just been holding her heart in two these past months, hasn't she? Well, I dare say I can order the dress without her coming along."
"Mama, I am sure that Lizzy would much rather be left as she is," advised Jane.
"I suppose you do know her well, don't you? Always talking to each other! But so it should be. But I think that a new dress would cheer her up very nicely. White is the fashion, you know," and with those words Mrs. Bennet quickly departed, eager to sing her praises of Lady Catherine to the unfortunate Mr. Bennet. Jane stood in silent contemplation before she quitted the bedchamber herself, as her heart was filled with pity and concern for her dear sister Elizabeth.
