Can't Let You Go

Chapter One

Jaime Sommers sat up in her hospital bed, looking out the window and feeling very much alone. She was trying to decide if she might actually be better off that way. It seemed to her that when she let herself develop feelings for a man, she brought him nothing but heartache and pain. She was 27 years old, and had only experienced true, deep feelings for a man twice in her life. One, she couldn't acknowledge and the other, she couldn't remember.

That afternoon, she had been forced to say goodbye to Michael, a young doctor on Rudy's medical team. He'd been responsible for bringing her back from death, and it was hard to say whose feelings had developed first, but there was a deep, passionate (mostly unspoken) love between them. Because he was still one of her doctors, they'd both tried valiantly not to let it happen, and to hide it once it did. But every look that passed between them betrayed them with nearly visible sparks like smoldering embers about to burst into full flames.

It hadn't taken Rudy long to figure out what was happening between the young doctor and his patient. He knew talking to Michael wouldn't be enough; things had grown too intense, too quickly. Rudy arranged for his protege to be transferred immediately to another of the team's facilities in Colorado Springs, away from temptation; away from Jaime. Just in time, too. When he sought Michael out to tell him, he found the young doctor in Jaime's room, holding his patient much too close for a friendly hug. The two practically jumped apart, but Rudy was not naive. He knew what would inevitably happen if things were allowed to continue. Michael protested and argued vehemently but Rudy stood firm. Within hours, Michael was gone.

Before Michael, before Jaime had become gravely ill and turned into what she called 'the perpetual patient', there had been...Steve. Their lives had been connected in one way or another for over 20 years. They'd been best friends, childhood sweethearts, and had come very close to marriage just over a year ago. Jaime felt nothing short of robbed by the amnesia she'd suffered. It had stolen away most of her memories, her love for Steve and - Steve himself. His love for Jaime was as strong as ever, but, reluctant to cause her any further pain and also suffering considerably from the loss, he had stayed away.

Jaime was alone. She still had Oscar, of course. People who saw her with her former-and-future boss smiled, believing them to be a couple in love. He was her mentor and she, his surrogate daughter, but...love?

"Someone sure looks deep in thought." Rudy had come to check on his patient. When she turned to look at him, he was alarmed by the extreme pallor of her skin and the tears in her eyes. "You having that pain again, Honey?" he asked, pressing a hand to her forehead. Normal.

"No. Just...feeling sorry for myself, I guess."

"Michael?"

Jaime shook her head. "Well, maybe a little. Mostly, life in general."

"Anything ol' Doc Rudy can help with?" She shook her head again, more slowly this time, still struggling to hold back the tears. Rudy tucked the blankets around her more securely. "I have news that might cheer you up. Steve called a little while ago, asking if it was ok to come and see you. Is it, or are you needing some alone time right now?"

"No - that's fine."

"Good - that's what I told him. Thought you could use a friend." Jaime smiled at him, her tears forgotten.

"Excuse me...Rudy?" Linda stood at the door, an odd expression on her face. "You have a phone call."

"Who is it?"

Linda dodged the question, which was very unusual. "You...um...need to take this one."

"Alright - I'm coming." He turned to Jaime. "You get some rest now, Honey. I'll see you in the morning."

He and Linda walked down to his office together, not speaking again until they were behind the closed door. "It's Colorado Springs," Linda told him. "They want to know why you decided not to send Michael Marchetti today."
"What?" Rudy's face grew pale with confusion. "Thank you, Linda," he said, picking up the phone.

While Rudy was on the phone with his collegues in Colorado, Jaime received a phone call of her own.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Baby - it's me."

"Michael? How was your flight?"

"A little bumpy, but ok. Colorado's so far away, though. I wish I was there right now, holding you."

"Me, too," she said softly. "I miss you so much."

"I never got to tell you this, Jaime, but I love you - more than life itself."

Jaime felt a little uncomfortable now. He'd crossed the doctor/patient line in voicing those words, and that particular phrasing, from a physician, also made her feel vaguely afraid.

"Jaime, I'm gonna try and call you again tomorrow. Do me a favor, Baby: don't tell anyone you talked to me, ok? Rudy'd have me fired and roasting on a spit over an open flame."

"Ok..." she answered, very uneasily.

"I love you, Baby."

"Goodnight, Michael."