Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or settings. It all belongs to DC.

Summary: Story Six in my "The One I Desire" series. Slash Paring (Dick and Roy) Roy has invited Dick over for pizza and beer, but he isn't certain that his friend will turn up. The evening unfolds with some quite unexpected events as Roy teaches Dick to let go... for all the right reasons. .

WARNING: Slash... no sex... but some touching.

Thank you to those who have read and taken the time to review the other stories in this series. Most of you have reviewed anonymously and haven't left an email address, so I haven't been able to reply. I want you to know that I appreciate your encouragement.


If you are interested in reading the first stories in the series, you will find them at fanfiction net and on my homepage which is listed in my profile.

So Close

Part Two

"Dick, I'm not going to try anything. I'm just going to loosen you up so you don't end up crippled… no, really," he laughed, amused by the determined frown on his friend's face. "Get a grip of yourself, will you and get your shirt off. I'll get some oil."

When Roy returned, Dick was still standing in the same spot. "Dick?" The funny side of this was quickly passing its use by date. "Dick? Why is this making you uncomfortable?" Roy asked. It never had before.

Dick didn't answer, his mind and stomach churning.

"Dick, ignore everything I've been saying. The making out and stuff were just jokes. Tonight was just about spending some time with you. Nothing more. And this is just a massage because you've got yourself into such a state that you're in pain. You heard what Sarah said. Toxin's build up and have to be released. Considering all the poison in your system, it isn't any wonder. I'm doing this not because I'm in love with you and want to get you into my bed, but because I care about you as a friend and team mate. You'd do the same for me. Come on, I've given you dozens of massages over the years."

"Yeah. What the hell were you thinking when you were doing them?" Dick asked with a lame grin. He was definitely being silly about this. It was just a massage and he knew he needed one. It wasn't as if Roy was making it up.

Roy bounced his eyebrows. "There isn't a court in the land that will convict a man based on his thoughts. Now, lie down and shut up." Roy sighed, walked across to his friend and laid a hand on each shoulder. He lowered his voice and became serious. "I give you my word. It's just a massage. A painful, therapeutic massage to start, finishing with a relaxing massage to give you some relief. No matter what, my clothes stay on. So do your pants. Deal?"

For the second time, Roy watched the layers fall away from Dick's face. The vulnerability staring back at him was beautiful. "Deal. If I want you to stop…"

"You say 'stop' and I stop." Roy realized that Dick wasn't worried about him, he was worried about himself…about how his body may react in light of Poison Ivy's little love juice.

Hesitantly, Grayson removed his shirt and then sat down on the edge of the mattress. Roy knelt onto the bed behind him and started where he'd left off. He massaged Dick's shoulders with his knuckles, feeling the knotted flesh give just a little. All the while Roy spoke to his friend about Lian and the case he was working on and a dozen other things. Dick groaned… certainly not in ecstasy.

"Take it easy, Roy. You're killing me."

"You're not getting any sympathy from me, Grayson. This is your own damn fault. From now on, you organize a massage once a week so you don't get into this state."

It took Roy half an hour to grind Dick's shoulders and back enough to relieve most of the built up tension. Then, he changed the action to soothing. Dick released his breath and moaned softly as he began to unwind.

"Better?"

"Yeah." Roy focused his attention on Dick's back, mapping every part of it. Grayson's body was perfect. Not over-muscled, but beautifully defined. It was any wonder he turned heads at Titans Tower when he worked out shirtless.

Roy explored every inch of his friend's torso, finding other 'points' that he would be able to use at a later date. Throughout, he continued to chat and Dick provided one syllable responses and acknowledgements.

After almost fifteen minutes, Roy tapped Dick's shoulder and guided his now very relaxed friend back onto the bed. Dick looked up at him dreamily and Roy smiled. He picked up Dick's arm and began to kneed the muscles in his upper arm, feeling them loosen beneath his powerful fingers. By the time he'd finished the other arm, Dick's eyes had closed.

"How are you doing?"

"Mmmm."

"Headache gone?"

"Yeah. Thanks. You were right. I needed this. I shouldn't have let it go so long."

Roy grinned and gently rolled Dick onto his stomach. Dick was compliant. He trusted Roy without question. Roy had promised and Dick accepted his word.

Harper moved directly to Grayson's calves, and then to his sensitive feet, watching with amusement as Dick's toes curled. He'd come back there later should he be given the opportunity.

Roy started on the back of Dick's thighs, once again careful to avoid any responsive places that might compromise the 'relaxing' purpose of this rub down. As he completed the left leg, Roy heard Dick's breathing change.

"You feeling relaxed now?" There was no reply. "Robbie?" Roy paused. "Dick?" Harper glanced down at his friend and released his breath loudly. "Asleep. You have got to be kidding." He reached out to shake Dick, but stopped. Roy snorted and then patted Grayson's head with great affection. "Get some rest, Robbie."

Roy climbed off the bed. As he did so, Dick stirred. His eyes blinked open. "I fall asleep?" he asked a little disoriented.

"You did."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. The entire point was to relieve all of that tension you had balled up inside you. Do you feel relaxed?"

Dick grinned. "I feel like molasses. Always do after a good massage. You've got magic hands, Roy. You're wasted as an archer."

Roy sat down beside Dick, drinking in how beautiful he was. Tentatively, he ran his fingers through Dick's ebony hair, monitoring Dick's reaction. Grayson studied him curiously.

"You don't mind?" Roy asked.

"I guess not," Dick whispered, his eyes closing briefly in response to the sensation. Grayson rolled onto his side. For a long time they stared at each other, Roy continuing to drag his fingers through Dick's tussled hair.

Roy swallowed. Maybe it was time to try to take the next step along this tightrope. "Let me show you how much I care. Let me pleasure you."

"Pleasure? I've never heard the word pleasure used as a verb before," Dick murmured.

"Give me the chance to show you."

"Roy. I don't want sex. I'm sorry."

"I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about showing you how to let go enough to relax properly. You never let yourself relax, Dick."

"I do."

"You don't. Let me take your massage one step further. I can make you feel better than you've ever felt and I won't touch your groin or anything else. Please let me do this for you? You use the word stop if you need to. Okay?" Roy laid his fingers on the side of Dick's face. He loved him so much.

"I don't think it's a good idea."

Donna's words rushed back to Roy. 'Don't let him dictate terms. If he does, he'll back out' "That's a shame because I'm going to do it until you say stop."

"Roy…" Dick started to protest. Harper pulled Grayson forward, rolling him onto his stomach. "Roy…"

"It's just an extension of the massage, so shut-up and enjoy it." Roy laid his splayed hands on Dick's back and ran his fingers down, pressing the various pressure points on their slow journey towards Dick's backside. Grayson moaned as hormones were released by Roy's experienced hands.

"Jesus, Roy."

Harper smiled. He could light his friend up like a Christmas tree just using his hands. He could make Dick so drunk on his own hormones that he wouldn't know how to say stop… but Roy wouldn't. Not yet. Not tonight. Roy wouldn't take it that far. All he wanted to do this evening was get Dick to truly relax, but to do that Dick's mind needed to relinquish full control. This would help.

Gently, Harper manipulated Dick's pleasure areas, moving swiftly to Dick's legs and his feet. Dick's body responded to his touch, the muscles rippling and his mind clouding and soaring on wave after wave of induced sensuality.

Roy Harper could feel his own body reacting to both Dick's soft murmurs of pleasure and to the feeling of touching Dick's body. He had wanted to do this to Dick… for Dick… for so many years.

"Haven't heard you say stop yet, Robbie. I'm giving you the chance now."

Dick's breathing was relaxed but rapid. Roy eased Dick onto his back. Grayson's eyes were closed. Lost in the moment, Roy bent forward and kissed the man he'd love all his life. Passion flooded him and in his mind's eye, he was scooping Dick up into his arms. Grayson murmured something unintelligible. Harper bent down and planted several kisses on Dick's upper body, at the same time, using the heel of his hand to stimulate the sensitive areas of his chest.

Roy straightened and transferred his attention to Dick's inner thighs. His fingers danced and Dick's back arched abruptly, his groin swelling. Roy knew he was fast approaching the line between sensual and sexual. Dick wasn't ready for the latter. Roy paused, waiting for his friend to say stop. A little guiltily, he realized that Dick was now so drunk on physical pleasure, he probably couldn't form the word if he wanted to

Small creases had formed around Dick's closed eyes, and his mouth had curled into a grimace, indicating he was fighting what he was feeling. He was actually fighting the pleasure rippling through him. He was afraid of giving in to himself, Roy recognised.

"Let go, damn it," Roy whispered. All Harper wanted was to help Dick let go… to give in to himself, for all the right reasons. Dick's back lifted again and a low guttural moan was released from deep down within him.

"Ssstopp… Roy. Sssstop."

Harper withdrew his hands instantly, staring down at Dick's flushed face. There was pain etched into it -- both physical and emotional. "Okay, Robbie. I've stopped. Dick? You okay?"

Grayson was struggling to regain control, blinking his eyes furiously.

Roy shifted up beside Dick and laid a soothing hand in the centre of his friend's chest. "Easy. It's okay. I've stopped. Relax, bud. I've stopped. Close your eyes and relax."

Dick panted and nodded, his eyes closing.

How had Dick found the clarity of mind to say 'stop'? He'd come so close to giving in to himself, but years of being in total control of his reactions and emotions had once again got in the way.

Roy continued to rub his hand in circles on Dick's sculpted chest. "Easy, big guy. Breath slowly."

Dick opened his eyes and turned his head toward Roy, who was lying on his side beside him. Roy smiled. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Dick panted.

"Took you a while to say stop."

Dick licked his lips. "You don't play fair."

"Yeah, but you came close to really relaxing."

Dick frowned. Roy could guess what he was thinking. "No, I wasn't contemplating sex. I was beginning to make love to you. There is a difference."

Dick swallowed.

"Did it feel wrong?"

"Unfair question."

Roy grinned.

Dick's breathing was returning to normal. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

"Remember when I disappeared for a few months after I left drug rehab? I was went travelling. Ended up in a very small monastery in the Himalayas and stayed with a group of monks shunned by the rest of their order because they believe that to reach spiritual enlightenment you have to reach the greatest heights of pleasure, hence they perfected the art of pleasuring… the verb."

"Now I know why women are so happy to jump into your bed."

Roy snorted. "I don't do that for just anyone, Dick. Besides, we didn't get very far."

"Far enough," Dick murmured. He stared up at the ceiling.

"Are you saying you didn't like it or that you feel used?"

Dick looked over at Roy. "I don't know what I feel. You… what did you get out of it? What do you want from me now?" Cold, hard reality had taught Dick that everyone who did anything for him wanted or received something in return. There were a couple of exceptions – Alfred and Bruce… maybe Donna, Garth, Roy and Wally too.

Roy was stunned by the question. "What did I get out of it?" His face twisted first with shock and then anger, but as he gazed down at Dick's bewildered face, he realized that Grayson was having difficulty accepting that the love and attention he'd just been given had been given freely and came with no strings attached. "What did I get out of it, Dick? I got the chance to make you feel fantastic. For once in your life, I wanted you to really relax."

"I… but…"

"You're looking at this all wrong. I don't want anything from you, Dick. I just want you. I wasn't looking for sex tonight. You really need to get that through your head. Sex is about personal gratification. Making love -- that's about your partner. It's about loving your partner. You don't need to have sex to do that." Roy leaned down closer to Dick. "I wanted to show you what you and I can have if you let go and give us a chance."

Dick didn't know what to think… what to feel. Overwhelmed didn't even begin to cover it. "Roy… I…" Drowning, he reached for a life-line by changing the subject. "So, someone does that for you?"

"Pleasure me? Give with no strings attached? I hope to find someone who loves me enough to." Dick stared up at Roy and his jaw trembled as if he was about to comment, but he didn't. Grayson sat up, swung his feet over the edge of the bed and started for the door on unsteady legs.

"There are towels in the hall cupboard." Dick paused and glanced back at his friend. "You want a cold shower don't you?" Roy grinned. "Looks like you could use it."

"Shut-up, Roy."

"It's not a sin to enjoy yourself, Dick."

"We were enjoying ourselves just a little too much."

"How can a person enjoy themselves too much?" Roy shouted as Dick disappeared. Roy flopped back on the bed and shook his head. "So, close." Just a few moments more and Dick would have yielded to his own feelings. It was a barrier they needed to conquer. Dick had to learn to submit to what he wanted. He'd come close tonight.

Roy heard the water start, got up and made his way into the bathroom. He stopped and leaned against the door frame, gazing at Dick's naked body through the clear glass shower door. He truly was perfect.

Dick sensed he was being watched and spun around, covering himself with his hands. "What are you doing?"

"Watching?"

"Why?"

"Because I like the view."

"Get out!"

"Hell, Grayson, we've seen each other naked before. We shower together all the time at Titan Tower."

"Yeah, but you don't stand there watching me."

"I take sneaky side ways glances." Dick's wide eyes grew wider. "Besides, believe me, you've got nothing you need to be ashamed of," Roy added, bouncing his eyebrows.

A burning crimson spread across Dick's cheeks. Roy winked and left the room.

Ten minutes later, Dick emerged. "Want some cold pizza?" Roy asked.

"No," Dick stated, quietly.

"Don't go psychoanalyzing everything, Dick. Relaxing is about letting go for a while. You almost did. And yeah, I touched you in a way that made you feel great. A sensual massage. Nothing more. It wasn't dirty or seedy. It wasn't sex. I kept Willie shackled. So did you."

"Willie? You call it Willie?" Dick grunted.

"Yeah. What do you call it?"

"I don't call it anything," Dick murmured, pushing away the cold piece of pizza Roy thrust at him.

"The Bludhaven Tigers were crucified."

Dick sat down in silence. Roy left him to his thoughts, using the remote to flick though the channels while he waited. It was almost a half an hour before Dick spoke.

"Roy…" He paused, still trying to decide what he wanted to say.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't come over here tonight for pizza and beer."

"Your mission was to fix this mess you find yourself in?"

Dick swallowed and nodded. "I thought you'd make a move and I'd planned to be firm and say no and to end all of this… so that everything would go back to normal. The way it's supposed to be."

Roy had suspected as much. Nightwing didn't take nights off. This had been a mission, like any other, except he hadn't worn his costume. "Did it ever enter that sharp mind of yours, batboy, that 'us' is the way it's supposed to be?"

"No," Dick whispered. His confusion had reached new heights. Everything was wrong… and yet he couldn't deny how good this felt. It didn't have anything to do with the sensual massage or the feelings of pleasure he'd experienced. It was the fact that Roy had taken the time to make him feel like he'd never felt before, without any reward for himself. Just being here with Roy felt different. Good different.

"I just want to be with you," Roy pointed out.

Dick swallowed. "I accused you of wanting something from me because I was hoping that you did… that you'd expect something from me -- that this was just about you and had nothing to do with me. It would have made it easier to chalk my feelings up to the drug and yours to years of wanting me in bed." Dick picked up a half finished can of beer and downed the contents. That's not what had happened. Roy hadn't wanted him in bed. He'd just wanted to… love him. That felt so strange and so amazing all at the same time.

"And…?" Roy prompted. Where were Dick's thoughts heading?

"And…" Dick drew in a deep breath and turned to Roy. "And I was wrong and I apologize. I guess I was hoping to manipulate the situation."

"Don't feel too guilty. If given the opportunity, I would have manipulated the situation myself -- but in the opposite direction," Roy finished with a reassuring smile.

"I still don't understand what's happening or why, but after tonight, I do know one thing."

"What?"

Dick smiled. It was almost shy and yet, his eyes twinkled with mischief. "I really do enjoy pizza and beer."

"Like I said, I just want to be with you. Hey, and am I a man of my word or what? I kept my clothes on the entire evening."

"Yeah, you did," Dick chuckled.

Roy's face became deadly serious with such swiftness, that Dick sat up straighter. "Dick, I want you to understand something, though. Something that may not be easy for you to hear, but it's important."

"Go on."

Roy desperately tried to maintain the earnest expression, but he couldn't and so bounced his eyebrows. "I do still want you naked, hot and sweaty in my bed."

Dick laughed easily.

"I just wanted to clarify that point in case I've somehow given you the wrong impression. My ultimate goal has, and always will be, you naked in my bed and completely at my mercy. Okay?"

"Okay," Dick grinned.

"Just so long as we're both clear on that rather important point."

They were back to normal. Their friendship was so easy on both of them.

"Just promise me one other thing, Speedy."

"What?"

"Next time you give me a massage at the Tower, you limit it to just therapeutic and relaxing."

Roy winked at him. "Are you saying you didn't like the sensual section?"

Dick snorted. "I liked it more than I care to think about. Your hands should be registered as lethal weapons."

Roy stared into Dick's face. "I want to kiss you," he whispered.

Dick's eyes clouded and the mirth left his face. "I don't think that's such a great idea."

Roy's brow furrowed. They were the same words Dick had said earlier and Roy had ignored them. Was this Dick's way of saying yes, without actually saying it? His way of keeping Roy at arm's length? "I'm going to kiss you unless you say stop," Roy threatened, leaning into Dick. He took the empty beer can from Grayson's hand, placed it on the table and edged closer. As he leaned in, a single word ended the action.

"Stop," Dick whispered.

Roy frowned. "Why?"

Dick's face flushed red. He actually looked scared. None of this had been a part of his 'strategy' for the evening. Tonight was supposed to have ended this, not taken it further. "You said you wouldn't ask for an explanation."

"I lied. Why, Dick?"

"I wouldn't have come if I'd thought that… I don't want you to be getting the wrong idea. Tonight was… not what I expected and…"

"… and you're still worried that when the remnants of Poison Ivy's drug disappear, so will what you're feeling for me? Yeah, I get that. I don't believe it, but I understand. And you know what? I don't care." Roy put his hand behind Dick's head and drew their lips together. Dick responded… his body finally starting to over-ride his mind and allowing him to react to the innate urges he felt.

Roy slid his hand down to cup Dick's neck and brought his other arm around Grayson's back, bringing Dick's body against his. As Roy delved deeper into the kiss, he realized that while Dick was participating, he was also attempting to force Roy away with his arms. Grayson's mind hadn't been defeated. It was still there and still battling. Dick just couldn't quite to let go, but Roy knew how to fix that. He dropped his hand from Dick's neck to his torso and sent his experienced fingers about their task of clouding his friend's interfering head. Grayson's body shuddered. He gave one last ditched attempt to push Roy away before collapsing against Harper, his physical protests dying as Roy sent his body surging.

Roy changed from gently caressing to ravaging Dick's mouth. He dug his fingers into Dick's back and Grayson cried out before melting against Harper completely. Roy released his panting friend's mouth and Dick's head toppled forward onto Roy's shoulder. Speedy smiled and feathered kisses on Dick's neck waiting for him to recover.

Grayson swooned so easily that it amazed Harper, but then, Dick wasn't used to allowing his emotions free. Years of denying his emotions had meant that he fell quickly and completely to them.

Roy drew away, sat back, spun Dick's limp body easily and then eased Dick's back against his chest. For a moment Dick struggled a little and then he melted against Roy again.

Harper felt the rise and fall of Dick's breathing against his. He shut his eyes and savored the moment… a moment he had dreamt of for so long. "Comfortable?"

"I have to go in a few minutes," Dick responded a little shakily. "I told Tim I'd be back by midnight." He'd only asked Robin to fill in for a couple of hours. This 'mission' was supposed to have been over quickly.

"Maybe next time you can stay the night."

They sat in silence, Roy with his arms folded around Dick. Harper reflected on the things Donna had said, like the fact that Dick would run once he decided this was more than just a fling. Was that how Dick looked at Roy? As just an interesting experience with no strings attached? Someone he couldn't have and so could keep at arm's length -- at least metaphorically.

"Roy, none of this feels real," Dick whispered. "Does it feel bizarre to you?"

"No. This," Harper responded, sliding his arm down around Dick's waist and pulling him closer, "feels God damn perfect."

Dick glanced up at him. "It feels bizarre. Not real. Like I'm not a part of it, but watching it all happen."

"You don't like this?" Roy asked, squeezing Dick and leaning over to kiss him lightly on the lips.

"I didn't say I didn't like it." Again they became quiet, Dick's head tipped back against Harper's chest so that he could look up into Roy's face. He was analyzing again. Trying to make this fit into his understanding or what reality was supposed to be. "I'm still not ready for anything more. Is that okay? I'm sorry. I'm not playing hard to get or anything I just…I'm rambling, aren't I?" he murmured, turning to focus on the flicking images on the television screen.

"Yep. But I understand and it's fine. We have the rest of our lives to worry about 'anything more'. This. You being here. That's enough for now. I'm happy to give you all the time you need, Dick."

Dick had almost let go tonight… almost given in and allowed himself to do what he wanted rather than what he perceived to be 'the right and responsible thing'. Somehow, someway, Roy had got the balance right, but he and Dick were still perched precariously on the tightrope that constituted their changing relationship. They'd taken some giant steps tonight. Dick was comfortable with Roy holding him and he'd been more than a passive part of their kiss. He'd allowed Roy to give him a sensual massage. True, Roy hadn't given him much of a choice, but Dick could have stopped him if he'd really wanted to. He hadn't. A week earlier, if anyone had said that that may be the case, Roy would have laughed in their face.

The three words imprinted on Roy's soul finally found voice. "I love you, Robbie."

Dick twisted and looked up at him, his blue eyes a mix of emotions. "Yeah, I know." Roy sensed Dick's turmoil as self-control and years of self-enforced responsibility returned. All of the layers that had been stripped away, suddenly fell back into place right before Roy's eyes. Dick's need to be sure and to protect Roy kicked in at that moment and took precedence over everything else. "I better go." Grayson rose and headed for the door. He paused and glanced back at his best friend. "Thanks for the massage. My headache's gone."

"Good, but don't leave it more than a week before you go to someone and get another or I'll hunt you down and kick your ass."

Dick smiled easily. "With a threat like that, rest assured, I'll make a regular booking with my local masseur, but if his hands take the same liberties yours did, I'll knock his head off. Good night."

"Good night, sexy." Dick shook his head and left smiling.

Roy sighed happily. "So close, Grayson. So damn close."


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(Please note: Story 7 will be rated MA and so will not be able to be posted at Fanfiction net. You will have to read it on my site which you will find listed on my profile page.)


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