Roo: Alright! The sixth chappie is in da hood, mah homies!
Kari: Quit the gangster act, you weirdo.
Roo: I can't help it, foo'. O.o I have da random impulses of da gangsta-ness in mah soul, home dawg. FO SHIZZLE!
Kari: (Knocks Roo out) I swear, by the end of this story, one of us going to be dead… Hopefully, it'll be Roo.
Thankies go out to…
The Fic Lord
Jabber-Nut Foxypants
xxFadingAwayxx- That's a great idea! When I find the right place, I'll put him in!
Sayiangirl
ACK!
Zovesta
Jennifer Thomas
Invader-Maz- Yes, everything works out with this couple! They're perfect for each other!
Rain spirit- Aw, thank you! When I read your comment you made me blush! Thankies so much!
ReddiststheRose
Gipsy Chan
InvaderChick- You read my profile? And it made you laugh? GOOD! And… Gir is ALWAYS insane. Nothing or no one can EVER change that. XD
The Hot Mage Aeris
Roo: (Comes back for a second) HOLY FLIPPIN' SHOUT! 13 REVIEWS IN 1 CHAPPIE? AM I REALLY THAT LOVED? (Gets knocked out again)
Kari: She is sorry that she cannot reply to them like she used to, it's just that she's getting more reviews than any of her fics have received in this amount of time and it takes too long for someone with as little of patience as her. But she responded to some of the ones she felt needed to be responded to. She is very glad that you all like her fic so much and take your time to read it. She doesn't own IZ or the Beach Boys' creepy song, yatta yatta yatta… On with the show!
-Chappie 6-
-The hideous song-fic thingy-
Zim was in his last class of the first day of this hideous skool day, and was eager for skool to get out. He couldn't stand the smell of that stinky kid behind him much longer.
'Come on, you stupid human dirt thing! Hurry up!' Zim rolled his hand into a fist and shook it, threatening to strangle the clock if it disobeyed him. It didn't do anything at all, except for move one second forward. This wasn't enough to please the Irken invader, though.
'First that cheese made a fool of me, and now this clock? Could this skool get any WORSE?' He slammed his fists onto the desk, causing quite a racket.
"Is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class, Zim?" asked his math teacher; another grotesque human stink thing that was supposedly in the "human army" before he got his pinky toe shot off in the war and he had to quit and become a sixth grade teacher or he would die a horrible death. And, of course, he was also doing this to get closer to his one true love, Ms. Miller.
"No, Mr. Mister," answered Zim, slightly growling lowly at the clock.
"That's Private Mister to you, young soldier!" shouted Mr. Mister.
"I'm sorry, you horrible stink pig!" screeched Zim.
"That's much better." The teacher continued to go on and on and on about math stuff, always relating it to his years back in the army, which got really annoying after a while.
Zim, on the other hand, chose to pass the time by balancing a pencil on his lower lip, failing at times. Other children decided to copy. Soon, the entire class was doing it, except for Dib. He was drawing a picture explaining why his rival was an alien, something he did quite frequently. They were usually in the form of comics, with poorly drawn stick people, that spooky Chihuahua that Zim was scared to death of, and, to top it all off, OSCAR MEYER WEINERS!
Then, all of a sudden, just to add suspense and drama into this fanfic….. The clock stopped! These sudden and randomly retarded types of events could cause major distortions in the Irken mind… causing them to break out into song.
Zim jumped up onto his desk with a microphone and shouted, "HIT IT, TORQUE!"
"You got it, Bob Francey!" Torque smacked Melvin over the head and a disco ball appeared out of nowhere, along with some funky music…
Zim cleared his throat and began his vocal masterpiece…
"When I grow up to beeeeeeee a maaaaaaannnnnnn!"
Dib's abnormally large head shot up, giving him some sort of a whiplash that he ignored, and stared at the Beach Boys impersonator.
"What… the… quack…?"
The rest of the class started staring in fear from that super spooky Beach Boys song, yet bobbed their heads to the beat.
"Will I dig the same things that turn me on as a kid?
Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did?
Will I joke around and still dig those sounds
When I grow up to be a man?"
"Zim, why are you saying 'dig' so much? And what the fart do you mean by SOUNDS?" shouted Dib, but the music was louder.
"Will I look for the same things in a woman that I dig in a girl?
(Fourteen fifteen)"
"Zim," started Dib. "If you're talking about Tak… BACK OFF! SHE'S MINE!" he yelled in a rather stalker-ish way.
(With Tak, in the girls' bathroom)
"May the force be with you, Dib!"
A flush is heard in the background.
(Back with the Beach Boys… err… Zim…)
"Will I settle down fast or will I first wanna travel the world?
(Sixteen seventeen)
Now I'm young and free, but how will it be
When I grow up to be a man?
Oooooo Ooooooo Oooooooo
Will my kids be proud or think their old man is really a square?
(Eighteen nineteen)
When they're out having fun yeah, will I still wanna have my share?
(Twenty twenty-one)
Will I love my wife for the rest of my life?
When I grow up to be a man?"
"NOOOO! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE MY LOVER BEAN!" screeched the little annoying child.
"What will I be when I grow up to be a man?
(Twenty-two twenty-three)
Won't last forever
(Twenty-four twenty-five)
It's kind of sad
(Twenty-six twenty-seven)
Won't last forever
(Twenty-eight twenty-nine)
It's kind of sad
(Thirty thirty-one)
Won't last forever
(Thirty-two . . .)"
The bell rang, and with that the singing silenced! Everyone applauded Zim and the fact that the spookiest song in the world was over! Their ears praised such a glorious moment in history, and sobbed tears of utter joy… made of earwax. Zim hopped off his desk and hurried to his locker, not wanting to miss his meeting with Gaz. Unfortunately, Dib was there at the same time as his rival, causing a bit of a jam.
"Move it, Dib monkey! I was here first!"
"No, I was by 1.2778865434 seconds!"
"You were really counting all that?"
"Yes."
…
(Silence)
…
(Crickets chirping)
…
"Let me in! It's MY locker, you miserable worm baby!"
"No, it's ours! But it's mostly mine!"
"GRRR!" Zim managed to kick the door of the locker, making it fall off its hinges and right onto Dib's head.
"HA! Pitiful human!" Zim stuffed everything into the storage compartment and put the door back in its rightful place. He turned to leave, but noticed something was missing…
'Something's missing!' thought Zim, obviously quoting the sentence above. "Oh yeah!" He turned around to Dib, who was lying on the ground. "Haha!" He pointed and laughed at his enemy, then rushed off to the exit of the skool.
(Outside)
Zim ran to Gaz, who was waiting by the sidewalk, tapping her foot impatiently.
"Come on already," she said once he had caught up. "We're going to my house." She grabbed Zim's noodle-like wrist and led (More like dragged) him to the Membrane household.
(Back at Skool)
Once Dib had regained a sense of feeling in his head, he put away his shaith and headed off into the wild blue yonder, but not before noticing Tak at her locker.
"Hi Tak!" he said as he walked up to the female Irken.
"Yo," she responded as she closed her locker and turned around to talk to Dib. "So, what's up?"
"Nothing, but I was wondering if you wanted to stop by my house and pick up your ship."
"That's right…" recalled Tak. "My ship crashed back here on Earth, didn't it?"
"Yeah. It landed in my yard and I kept it just incase you wanted it back. I even fixed it up for you!" stated Dib proudly.
"Alright! Let's go!"
And with that, they walked off to the wonders of Dib's garage, not knowing that there would be quite a surprise waiting for them…
-End of Chappie!-
Roo: And that, my amigos, was the most retarded song chappie EVER!
Kari: Whoop-de-doo…
Roo: Yes, I know what you're all thinking; "Roo, why the quack did you put the spookiest Beach Boys song of all times in there?" The answer? Because I could…
Kari: And yes, we all know that this chappie was super freaky. Roo's been… a little bit spazzy lately. O.o
Roo: R and R, my Homie-Gs! Peace out, y'all!
-Sayonara!-
-Roo and Kari-
(POOF!)
