(A/N: I OWN NOTHING! OO Except the title of the show and the idea for this fic! Bwahahahaha! This is my official Disclaimer!)
Yoh: (sitting on a big black chair looking into a camera) Welcome audience, this is my show! It's called Conspiracies! The authoress doesn't own any of us here. (coughs) Anyway, wanna know what this show is about?
Audience: YEAH!
Yoh: This is a live show and this is its first time on air. I am your host Yoh Asakura…
Fangirls: (cheer and throw glitter)
Yoh: Anyway, this show is a show in which I will invite people in and ask them questions. First I ask questions and then the fun part, the audience and readers get to ask questions to the guest!
Audience: (screams and cheers)
Yoh: I will randomly have on a co-host until I eventually find a permanent co-host to help me along with the show. But in the meantime, let me introduce you to everyone that's already here…you know me…Yoh Asakura, from Shaman King…
Fangirls: (hoot, whistle, cheer, and throw glitter at Yoh)
Yoh: Ladies…calm down! Did I mention this show is very diverse and reaches out to any subject that can be discussed? By diverse, I mean, you can be anything and go on this show! You can be from anywhere and be on this show!
Audience: YAY!
Yoh: Let me introduce my cameraman for example! It's Dante from the Devil May Cry game series!
Dante: (turns camera towards himself and waves in it and then at the audience; turns the camera back to Yoh)
Yoh: Okay ladies and gentlemen out there, that's everyone that you need to know about for now! (winks) I'd like to call out my very first guest on this show! How about it?
Random demon from audience: HELLL YEAH!
Yoh: ; Okay…you all know him as the evil Android 17 from Dragon Ball Z, please give him a warm welcome! 17, come on out!
17: (walks out and sits in a chair next to Yoh's)
Yoh: So, how's Dragon Ball Z treating you?
17: At first, it wasn't all that bad…but then Cell just had to come along!
Yoh: yeah, but you shouldn't be upset, you came back in Dragon ball GT right?
17: yeah, only for a few episodes! They just had nothing else so they put me in there!
Yoh: So, you're not doing so well then huh?
17: no, I feel discriminated against because I'm not human!
Yoh: Aw, that's too bad! Well, you won't be discriminated on now! You're on Conspiracies!
17: I know I heard you when it first came on. Any more questions?
Yoh: Oh, lots! Hey, you ever had a crush on 18?
17: No way in hell! She's impossible to work with!
Yoh: How so 17?
17: She can't be satisfied for crap! I give her destruction and it was fun for a while, and then she wants to start sparing people and go shopping and all this other human stuff! It makes me sick!
Random demons in audience: HELL YEAH!
17: And when I give her that, then she claims that things are still boring when she got whatever she wanted! NO! You'd have to be insane to have a crush on her!
Yoh: I see, so what do you think of her a Krillin then?
17: A small dude with a small brained wife, what a perfect match!
Yoh: Wow, you really feel strong about disliking 18 now don't you?
17: Of course!
Yoh: What was 16 like?
17: 16 was such a pushover! I mean, I know that guy was supposed to only get Goku, but you could make that dude upset over the smallest things! A bird breaks its wing, he'd cry a freaking river!
Yoh: Wow, that's a real pussy!
17: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Yoh: I did?
17: yes you did Yoh.
Yoh: How do you know my name?
17: Um…someone backstage told me your name!
Yoh: (looks to audience) well how do you like that?
Audience: (claps for no apparent reason) ;
Yoh: Hey 17, how good are your senses?
17: Better than humans.
Yoh: How would you like to become a human?
17: I guess I'd try it out for a while.
Yoh: EXCELLENT! Audience, what do you think?
Audience: TURN EM HUMAN! YEAH!
Yoh: okay then…when we come back after commercial break, 17 will be human!
Dante: And now time for a commercial break with me!
Commercials
Cat: YUM! I WANT ME SOME GODDAMN MEOW MIX!
Woman: Here you go kitty! (puts meow mix in a bowl)
Cat: OH SHIT NOW! Thank you owner!
A female dog outside barks.
Cat: SHUT UP BITCH! (goes back to eating meow mix)
Big Booming Voice: MEOW MIX! IN STORES TODAY! IT'LL MAKE YOUR CAT FLIP OUT LIKE MAD!
End Commercial
Dante: Wasn't that…um…special? Anyway…now for a short intermission before we get back to our program…
Short Intermission
Ryou Bakura (from Yugioh): Hello people out there!
Yoko Kurama (from Yu Yu Hakusho): hi… peoples.
Ryou: We're going to perform a short dance for you okay?
Yoko: Which one Ryou?
Ryou: The one we practiced yesterday! YAY!
Kouga (from Inuyasha): (gets out a boom box) I'm the dj! YEAH! (turns on the electric slide)
Audience: BOOO!
Kouga: MY BAD! WRONG SONG! (turns on salsa)
Audience: YAY!
Kouga: Ungrateful bastards!
Yoko and Ryou: (do a 2 minuet salsa)
2 minuets later…
Ryou: We're done!
Yoko: Bye.
Kouga: (turns boom box off)
Kouga, Yoko, and Ryou: (leave)
End of short intermission
Dante: Weren't they good at what they do?
Audience: YEAH!
Dante: Knew it. (turns camera back on and aims it at Yoh and 17)
Yoh and 17: (sitting just like before)
Yoh: I am now sitting with a human 17!
17: Won't I have to make a name for myself?
Yoh: The government doesn't know that you exist! So you're okay.
17: Good, cause I'd rather be called 17 anyway!
Yoh: YAY! Okay 17!
17:
Yoh: Got any questions for me 17?
17: yeah! Can I be a co-host on this show?
Yoh: I like you! So yeah! So how about it audience?
Audience: YEAH!
Spongebob: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?
Audience: Spongebob? OO (throw food at Spongebob)
Agent Smith: I am head of security, what is going on?
Random Fan: (stands up) THAT SPONGY BASTARD DISSED THE AUDIENCE!
Agent Smith: Well, you weren't literally speaking English!
Random human: YES WE WERE! Replay what we all said on the big tv!
Yoh: 17, aka co-host, you do the honors! (hands him a button)
17: YAY! (presses the button)
Yoh: YAY!
A big tv comes up and replays what the audience said…
Audience: YEAH!
Tape goes off…
Random kitsune: WE SAID YEAH! NOT WHATEVER THAT BITCH HEARD!
Spongebob: I'll rip your sorry ass to shreds!
17: Where did he come from? O.o;
Yoh: No clue… --'
Random kitsune: YOU WANNA GO AT IT?
Spongebob: C'mon then bia!
Agent Smith: (uses a tranquilizer on Spongebob)
Neo: (drags Spongebob offstage)
Agent Smith: Mr. Anderson….
Neo: Agent Smith….
Rin: they're gonna fight! () ();
Yoh: HEY! HEY! HEY! NO FIGHTING!
17: Should I break them up?
Spongebob: (gets back up)
Dante: (impales Spongebob with Sparta)
Spongebob: (dies)
17: Why'd you do that Dante?
Dante: He was talking about my mother earlier.
Yoh: ; I guess it was for good reasoning…
17: I'll bet…so Yoh, can I be your permanent co-host?
Yoh: You are doing good right now! YAY! You can!
17: YAY! I'm very happy right now!
Dante: Hold on! (goes back to the camera)
Neo: I THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE HEAD OF SECURITY!
Agent Smith: I HAVE TO WORK WITH HIM!
Yoh: Well to decide…
Agent Smith: I QUIT! (storms out)
17: Well, I guess that Neo is now our head of security.
Yoh: Should that be all for today's show then?
17: NO! WAIT! We never got to talk jokes on anyone!
Yoh: This is the first episode! No bashing yet!
17: Aw… --;
Yoh: But we can still talk okay? Got any questions for meh?
17: Yeah, how much do you want me on this show?
Yoh: I can use all the help that I can get!
17: How much do you like me?
Yoh: If I were gay, I would want you to be my lover!
17: Do you mean that? (blushes)
Yoh: yeah! Really!
17: Why don't we bring in another guest?
Yoh: Good idea!
17: Ladies and gentlemen this next guest loves his toons and his new boyfriend!
Yoh: Please welcome a Mr. Maximillion Pegasus!
Pegasus and FF7's Sephiroth: (walk out)
Pegasus: HI ALL!
17: Pegasus, who is this? You're supposed to come in alone!
Pegasus: Oh, I'm never alone now that I have my Sepphy!
Yoh: o.o; wow…so this is your new boyfriend?
Pegasus: YESSIR! (puts arms around Sephiroth)
17: wow, what an odd couple! (sweatdrops)
Pegasus: OH! It's okay to be jealous! . I'll still answer all questions pronto!
Yoh: okay…so introduce him to us!
Pegasus: This is my new boyfriend Sephiroth! Sepphy, say hi!
Sephiroth: (waves) hi
Pegasus: He's really shy in front of a lot of people.
17: Only in front of other people?
Pegasus: Yes, but when we're alone he isn't shy! Are you hun?
Sephiroth: (blushes) n-no…
Yoh: Well I don't know if you know, but we get everyone backstage on tape before they come out. Here's you guys.
Giant tv appears onstage.
Sephiroth: (licking and kissing Pegasus's neck)
Tv goes off and disappears.
Pegasus: (reveals hickies on his neck)
Audience: WOW… '
17: oh my…. (blinks) h-how deep is the relationship?
Pegasus: Oh, we always love having time for GGS!
Yoh: Don't mind me asking, but what's GGS?
Pegasus and Sephiroth: Great Gay Sex.
Yoh and 17: ; teheheh, no one heard that alright! ;
Audience: SAFE WITH US!
17: Is that all for today's show?
Yoh: What do you mean?
17: (whispers) if we ask Pegasus anything, he's just gonna redirect it towards his relationship with his Sepphy!
Yoh: Good thinking! Alrighty Pegasus, you may leave now. We're done with our questions!
Pegasus and Sephiroth: (walk out)
Yoh: NOW IT'S BASHING TIME!
17: YAY!
Yoh: Let's bash on Pegasus and Sephiroth!
17: They both have semen white hair! XD
Yoh: Pegasus sounds to be pretty full of himself. Or is it he's too wrapped up in a relationship?
17: both!
Yoh: I agree. It's like it's gone to his head!
17: it's already been in there, it just took this long to come out.
Yoh: So apart of his head was sleeping?
17: More than apart, try one whole!
Yoh: (laughs) I get it now!
17: I think your brain is sleeping too!
Yoh: Speaking of sleeping…
17: Don't ask cause you know the answer.
Yoh: aw!
Dante: Okay guys close it up!
17: We've had 2 guests if you count me, but don't bother cause I'll be here to catch you next time in Conspiracies! It's me and Yoh here and we're out!
Yoh: Attention readers, if you want to appear on the show or you want someone you want to appear on the show, or if you have questions for anyone on the show, then just read the darned story and then review! We promise to make it funnier, but we need your help out there! PLEASE REVIEW! (cough) those are my words and not of the authoress!
17: It sounds like it!
Dante: And we're off air in 2 minuets!
Yoh: (looks at 17) what you wanna do in two minuets?
17: I dunno…(pauses) you really meant it when you said you'd wanna be…
Yoh: I always say what I mean and mean what I say! (leans forward in his chair)
17: (blushes again) okkkkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy…………ok….
Yoh: So you wanna?
17: Is camera still rolling?
Yoh: I don't care! Anything can happen at ending time!
17: (stares at the floor)
Yoh: (gets up, walks over to 17's seat, grabs 17 and French kisses him)
17: (is kissed) ;
Dante: Do they pay me enough for this? o.O; Naw, I won't quit. Okay peoples, this show is now drawing to a close. And now you ask yourself questions. Who will be on next time? Will Yoh and 17 end up together? Will the next short intermission be better? Who will be the next co-host?
Find out on the next episode of 'Conspiracies'! Bye, and good day or night or whatever!
