Ash Ketchum: Last time on this show, there was a big thing going on! Who remembers?

Audience: ….

Ash: Hello? Am I here by myself?

Audience: (stays silent)

Daxter: (comes out)

Audience: (cheers and claps and hoots and whistles)

Daxter: Ash dude, you gotta know how to move the audience!

Ash: (gives up and walks off the set)

Daxter: Yall remember what happened last time? Those kids from Harry Potter showed up as well as me and that fangirl who's still making out with Marik in the back right now! And I got Yoh and 17 all kissy kissy on tape for Dante…

Yoh: SO THAT'S WHO PAID YOU!

Daxter: (ears plop down) you didn't hear that from me!

Dante: DAXTER YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL!

Jak: DAXTER!

Megaman: (shakes his head) So it was the cameraman all along…

17: So Dante paid Daxter to spy on us?

Daxter: DID I SAY DANTE? I MEANT WHINNE THE POOH!

Pooh: (rummaging through a pot of honey) oh botha!

17 and Yoh: SO IT WAS THE BEAR! JUST LIKE WE SUSPECTED!

Megaman: ; (whispers to Dante) How dumb are the hosts?

Dante: In another life, they were lesbian blondes.

Megaman: You think so? How about they're already blonde and died their hair? It explains how they could fall for that! And now Pooh bear is gonna get ripped to shreds cause of Daxter.

Daxter: (dives into the audience)

Audience: (holds Daxter up and brings him over to his fangirls)

Fangirls: YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

Daxter: YAY! I HAVE SO MANY FANS!

Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU DAXTER!

Yoh: Amidimaru! Into the sword!

Amidimaru: RIGHT YOH!

17: I don't need a ghost to attack this dumbass bear! (shoots a kai-blast)

Pooh: (gets hit) AW SHIT!

17: (blasts more kai beams at Pooh) Y-O-H- A-S-A-K-U-R-A! ATTACK!

Yoh: CELESTIAL SLASH! (slashes Winnie the Pooh)

Pooh: (dies)

Yoh: Good job Amidimaru!

17: (walks over to Yoh and touches his shoulder) you did good!

Yoh: thanks! You too with those blasts!

17: Hey Dante, is the camera still going?

Megaman: What about my hook up with Roll?

Dante: I think that we need to go for a commercial break! ;

Daxter: (getting fed and air conditioned by fangirls)

Yoh: YAY!

Dante: And now…here's the commercial break!

Commercial Break
Commercial One

Big Booming Voice: What show is too big for your tv? WHY It's Mucha Lucha Gigante!

Ricochet: It's crowded in here!

Buena Girl: This is not buena!

The Flea: Someone stepped on my spleen! X-x

Commercial Two

Kids at a birthday party are playing……………………

Mother: Here's the piñata!

Birthday Girl: YAY! (hits the pinata with a bat) OOH! Juicyfruit!

Pinata: (comes to life and runs after the kids)

Birthday Girl: (gets on a table screaming and hollering at the top of her lungs)

Pinata: (takes the juicyfruit from the girl and starts to leave)

Birthday Girl: (beats pinata senselessly) NO ONE TAKES MY JUICYFRUIT!

Commercial Three

Yoh: Wanna be on 'Conspiracies'?

17: Well here's your chance! Just read the episodes and review right after!

Dante: Tell a little bit about yourself and how you would like to look, act, etc. on the show and we can make it happen!

Daxter: AND I ROCK BIG TIME!

Jak: (drags Daxter out)

Neo: Only you can be apart of the Matrix!

END OF COMMERCIALS

Dante: Didn't I look handsome on that commercial?

Audience: HELL YEAH! (whistles, cheers, and claps loudly)

Random woman: I LOVE YOU DANTE!

Dante: (squints) Trish? Is that you?

Lady: NO! It's Lucia!

Trish: I LOVE YOU TOO DANTE!

Dante: Shit…

Megaman: I'm scared of what I might see!

Fangirl: Fine! Boys! Then I'll be the one to find them! (goes into a room) O.O

Yoh and 17: (look up) GET OUT!

Fangirl: Hey you guys! You have a show to do!

17: Is the crowd getting restless?

Fangirl: Well no…

Yoh: Can't you see we're busy?

Fangirl: I can't even see what you're doing! . It's dark in here and I'm getting a wedgie!

Yoh: We're getting business done ok?

Fangirl: Yeah right! Let me see then!

17: For the caution of your eyes, I don't think you…

Fangirl: I WANNA SEE! (runs over to them)

Outside the door…

Marik: What do you think they're doing?

Megaman: Well Dante told me that they couldn't wait till commercial so they can go backstage and screw each others brains out senselessly!

Marik: Didn't need to hear that! Isn't the taller guy an android?

Megaman: O.O

Marik: O.O

Megaman: I am now scared…

Marik: I'm scared for my fangirl!

Megaman: You still never learned her name yet?

Marik: Naw, we were back here having a press conference.

Megaman: Not if you were zipping your pants up dude!

Marik: FINE! We role played a press conference! Are you satisfied now?

Fangirl: (comes out looking ghostly) I found them…

Megaman: and?

Fangirl: They doing something naughty…. OO right now…

Yoh and 17: (walks out of room)

Yoh: We had no idea that commercial was over! Why didn't they play more commercials since we weren't out there?

Megaman: Too set on busting you two for what you are! GAYS!

17: (sweatdrops) it's only a one night stand thing!

Marik: (guides the frightened fangirl away from them and to the chairs onstage)

Megaman: Did you guys ask me all your questions?

Yoh: yep!

Megaman: Ok, adios amigos. Chao muchachos!

17: Bye then Megaman! (waves)

Yoh: What's with you calling it a one night stand thing? We're more than that!

17: Sorry, had to throw them off! And cover your neck please? It's tempting me…

Yoh: How about I go change my shirt?

17: How about I go with you?

Yoh: Naw, you go ahead and question the guests. I won't be long.

Both: (don't notice that they're on more than one camera backstage)

17: (pulls Yoh by the hips into a tongue kiss)

Yoh: (gets tongued and wraps his arms around 17)

Dante: You see audience…this is why we don't have a bed back there, they'd be there all freakin day!

17: (steps out to the stage and takes a seat) now where were we?

Fangirl: (sits on Marik's lap) You're gonna ask my boo some questions!

Marik: (huggles his fangirl)

17: So Marik, ever liked anyone on your own show?

Marik: Naw…the only likeable connection there is to the cards! The people are freakin loco! LUNATICS! CRAZIES!

17: How so?

Marik: Let's get on the smurf formally known as Yugi. He'll jump off a freakin building for his Atemu! It's my yami this and my yami that! And then there's Tea with those stupid lectures of hers! NO ONE LIKES THEM! Then there's Bakura who's a real mental case! Both of them! That's why they're together anyway! Wanna prove that opposites attract? Look at both Bakuras and then you see that the opposites do more than attract! My sister swears that she's all goody goody when she's quick to slap people! That Mai Valentine is such a slut…

17: WOAH DUDE! One at a time! If you want to properly bash on people then make it one at a time!

Yoh: (comes out with his pants on and a matching colored turtle neck) I'm here! (sits next to 17….in the same chair)

Magic tv goes away.

Audience: (claps loudly and hoots)

Yoh: So, who to bash first?

Marik: YUGI!

17: You called him a smurf! You're wrong! I saw him on Teletubbies yesterday.

Audience: (laughs)

Yoh: He's an ant, leave him alone. He's not as nearly as short as my best friend Manta aka Morty anyway!

Marik: Little Yugi has the biggest eyes for someone so damn small! His eyes take up like 80 of his face! He puts Serenity and Mai out of league of the bug eyed contest!

17: What about Rex and Weevil?

Marik: Who? I dunno those losers!

Yoh: What about Kaiba?

Marik: If he isn't a premadonna, a mean girl, and a drama queen all in one! He's the perfect Mrs. Grinch!

Yoh: Why are you referring to Kaiba as female?

Marik: Cause he acts like he's PMSing all the time! He knows that he likes Wheeler, which I think is disgusting! But he won't go for it cause it'll ruin his reputation!

Fangirl: That's my Marik talking for you there!

17: What do you think of Malik?

Marik: He's nothing without me! If I weren't there, there'd be no him!

Fangirl: YEAH!

Yoh: Now is it good to ask you your name little miss Marik lover?

Fangirl: Nunya business! (sticks tongue out at Yoh)

Yoh: (laughs) okay then!

17: Hey Marik, how much do you like this fangirl here?

Marik: (snuggles with the fangirl) I wuv her so much! Yesh I do! I can cuddle her all I want and she's not a groupie! She's so cuddly wuddly! (huggles his fangirl)

Fangirl: AW! (snuggles, huggles, and cuddles back)

Marik: I luv her like a teddy bear! Yesh I do! And I LUV TEDDY BEARS!

Marik and Fangirl: CARE BEARS ROCK!

17 and Yoh: --; okay!

17: So what were you guys doing backstage anyway?

Marik: Making out of course! Just like you!

Yoh: (blushes) No we weren't! We were playing Monopoly!

Dante: (stands up) That's not what we saw! Jak, play the tape!

Jak: (appears along with magic tv. Puts tape in.)

On tape…

Megaman: Ok, adios amigos. Chao muchachos!

17: Bye then Megaman! (waves)

Yoh: What's with you calling it a one night stand thing? We're more than that!

17: Sorry, had to throw them off! And cover your neck please? It's tempting me…

Yoh: How about I go change my shirt?

17: How about I go with you?

Yoh: Naw, you go ahead and question the guests. I won't be long.

17: (grabs Yoh by the hips and pulls him into a deep tongue kiss)

Yoh: (gets tongued and wraps his arms around 17)

Dante: You see audience…this is why we don't have a bed back there, they'd be there all freakin day!

17: (steps out to the stage and takes a seat)

Tape goes off…

Yoh: What do you mean by "we'd be back there all day"?

Audience: (laughs)

Gay section: (cheers excitedly)

Dante: oh, why do we even have a gay section?

Daxter: I dunno, they separated themselves! (runs over to the gay section and cuts a ribbon)

Audience: (mix and blend all together)

Daxter: THAT'S BETTER!

Marik: (looks at Yoh) dude, one look at you told me you were gay! (looks at 17) you I wouldn't expect it!

Dante: It all started on the first episode I tell you! Jak, put on the first tape! You know which!

Jak: (puts another tape in the tv)

On tape…

17: Hey, what do you think about me?

Yoh: If I were gay, I would want to be your lover!

17: really? (blushes)

Yoh: of course!

Tape goes off…

Daxter: WE HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE! They're homos!

Yoh: So can I do this now? (takes 17's hand)

Marik: o.O;

Fangirl: I got no problem as long as I have my Marik-warik!

Marik: AW! (kisses his fangirl)

17: I guess it's cool now that they know!

Yoh: Yeah! The more that know the better! Now we don't have to hide it from the show!

17: (pulls Yoh towards him, hands on Yoh's hips, and kisses him)

Jak: T-T I need outta here man…

Dante: Now all we need is a cat fight…and this episode is complete!

Lucia: TRISH! DANTE IS NOT YOURS!

Trish: OH YES HE IS! FIGHT ME FOR HIM BIATCH!

Lucia: I accept your fight! LETS GO!

Trish and Lucia: (fight in the audience over Dante)

Dante: I feel special! TvT

Marik: YAY!

Marik Fangirl: YAY!

Yoh: YAY!

17: YAY!

Dante: YAY!

Jak: YAY?

Daxter: YAY!

Marik: Why are we all saying yay?

Yoh: I dunno.

17: hey Marik, you got any questions for us?

Marik: It's no doubt you guys like each other a lot…like me and my fangirl!

Fangirl: So, who plays as the lady?

17: There is no lady! And Yoh's the softer one if you know what I mean! .

Yoh: I can be a tough receiver aka taker if I wanted to!

Marik: Can you beat Zeke?

Yoh: I don't know yet! I've never fought him yet!

Fangirl: What if we brought Zeke out now?

17: Whose show is this now?

Yoh: It's our show! Now, it wouldn't be good to bring my ancestor out. He'd get mad at me for being soft. He's like a boot camp all in one! T-T He'll hit me in a sensitive spot!

17: (huggles Yoh and brings him closer) I'll protect you Yoh!

Yoh: (sitting opposite on the chair and facing 17) YAY! Can you protect me from Anna?

17: I'll bet I can!

Yoh: Be careful, she can get anyone to do anything! -

17: She doesn't scare me!

Dante: They should change the name of this show!

Lucia and Trish: (still fighting)

Marik: O.O I think they've been fighting for four minuets!

Daxter: Chick fights are wassup!

Jak: This is so random! The show should be called Random! No one speaks conspiracies on this show at all!

Yoh: But we will! Later though!

Dante: I think I saw a rip in Trish's fishnet stockings!

Audience: OOH! (watch catfight)

Yoh: The show has gone on too long already! We're over our time!

17: Yeah! We've got to end it!

Marik and Fangirl: (wave into the camera) bye bye!

Yoh: (looks into camera) hey guys out there, on the next episode we'll we really start to talk conspiracy talk like we should have from episode one! How many couples are there in here really? And what do you think is gonna happen if I invite Zeke on the show? Oh yeah and we've got a brand new guests next episode. (turns back to 17 and licks his neck)

17: So say your byes to Marik whose taking his fangirl home with him, Jak, Daxter, Harry Potter who has been hiding under the 3rd chair this entire time, Draco Malfoy who is still laying on the floor dead, Ash Ketchum who went deaf and mute since the crowd didn't like him earlier, and the spirit of Winnie the Pooh that said it's gonna haunt this place until it destroys it. Yeah right!

Audience: Bye guests! (wave at all the guests)

Guests: (say bye and take their leave, Marik carrying his fangirl bride-style out the door)

Dante: So what now?

17: (stands up, lays Yoh down on the chair, and they make out)

Dante: DON'T DO THAT TO THE POOR AUDIENCE! AND ME…!

Neo: (breaks up the Trish and Lucia fight) See you all next time! BREAK IT UP! Ah yes, if you have any questions you want to submit, the next guests will be Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and Sakura from Cardcaptors as well as our regular insanity!

Dante: (turns camera off) I've seen way too much for a full day's worth! I need a break!

Big Booming Voice: Oh yes ladies and gentlemen, there will be more episodes of this show to come! And now, if you have any questions or comments, just freakin reivew! Ah yes, also, if you would like to guest star on the show, just review!

Yoh: (turns camera back on) I came up with a new thingy! We'll tell you who's on the next episode so that you can come up with your questions for when you review!

17: Next time on your show will be Kurama from Yu Yu Hakusho and Sakura from Cardcaptors as well as other people who shouldn't be there and lots of drama.

Dante: (turns camera off) Am I getting too old for this? OO