By far, this chappie was the funniest one in the story. I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you enjoy the humor aspect of Vampire Stalker.

Chapter Six- The Doctor

"Bakura, I need to know if there's a vampire doctor nearby or somewhere in the world."

"Oh? And why would that be?"

Joey blushed and Seto was pokerfaced as a silence descended on the foyer of the vampire home. Bakura looked at the two silent men, before a smirk crossed his face. Then, he burst out laughing.

"Oooh! I get it! Little Joey's pregnant! Ha, ha, ha!" Bakura slapped his leg, laughing even harder.

"Be serious, Tomb Robber! It's not funny. We need to know if you know of a vampire doctor."

"Maybe I do and maybe I don't."

"Get to the point. Do you or don't you?"

"I know one. But you'll have to wait a few days. He's a very busy man."

"Fine. How soon can he get here?"

"In precisely two days if I leave now."

"Then, go. And don't come back without the doctor."

"Fine." Sweeping toward the front door, Bakura left, leaving Joey and Seto alone...for about ten seconds. Then, Yami pounced on the two lovers.

"Nice job, priest. Never knew you had it in you."

"Can it, Yami."

Yami chuckled. He always enjoyed teasing Seto. It made his immortality much more enjoyable. "Why should I stop? I'm having too much fun. So, Bakura left to bring back a doctor?"

"Yes. For all we know, Joey could be one week pregnant."

Yami grinned in such an evil way that Joey sweatdropped. He didn't like that gleam in the pharaoh's eyes and wished that he would go away. As if answering to the human's silent wish, Yami swept out of the room, still chuckling as if he was enjoying a private joke.

"He's planning something," Seto said suddenly. "I know that look in his eyes."

"Considering how long you've known him, I believe it."

"Any ideas on what we're going to do while we wait for Bakura and the doctor to return?"

"Well, I'm goin' to go back to school tomorrow, if I'm not too sick."

"But-but, what are you going to do when your pregnancy starts showing?"

"I'll...say that I'm eating too much. I will be by then."

"Oh, that's just great," Seto said sarcastically. "And how will you explain it if you started going into labor in the middle of class?"

"Uh, it'll be summertime by then, so I'll stay here."

"Summer, yeah. The time of the year where the sun sets late. I'd hate to think of you lying on the floor in labor while I'm dead asleep."

"Uh...maybe the kid will decide to be born at night?"

"Let's hope so."

Two Days Later

Joey did as he said. He went to school after having a short bout of morning sickness beforehand. His friends never suspected a thing. During his classes, Joey would daydream about the preceding evening and wonder what that night would bring. On the second day, Joey wondered what the doctor would be like and hoped he or she was friendly toward humans. As the bell rang, signalling the end of the classes, Joey swung his bag over his shoulder and started to head for the door.

"Hey, Joey, where are you going? I thought you were going to spend the afternoon with me at my place." Yugi called after him.

Joey paused. He had forgotten about his playdate with Yugi in the excitement of his pregnancy. "Uh, Yug, I have some important stuff I gotta do today. I'm sorry I fogot to tell ya. Maybe tomorrow?"

"Umm, sure Joey. Tomorrow," Yugi said, trying to sound cheerful. Truthfully, he was hurt and worried. Joey didn't usually forget to tell him when something important came up. What would make him suddenly act so absentminded? 'I hope he's okay. I don't want anything to happen to my best friend.'

&&&&

'Damn, I can't believe I forgot about spending the afternoon at Yug's! What the hell is wrong with me? Besides the possible obvious.' A hand flew to his still flat stomach. Wouldn't it be something if he was pregnant? He and Seto would have to do some planning if Joey hoped to pull this off until he was out of school. Seto was a clever man, he'll come up with a plan. Joey was sure of that. Unknown to the blonde, he was being followed by a tri-colored haired boy who decided to make sure that Joey was okay.

'Joey's been acting strange these last few weeks. I mean, this week he comes to school looking like he had been sick when he woke up, only he doesn' t look sick. And the three weeks before, he looked and acted like he had fallen in love (A/N: Perceptive, isn't he?). What has he been up to lately? That is what I intend to find out.'

Yugi trailed behind Joey a good distance to keep his friend from suspecting that he was being followed. The blonde unknowingly led his little friend to a rather run-down looking part of town and straight for an equally run-down, yet grand mansion. Joey opened the front doors with ease and entered the structure, leaving Yugi to stare in shock of where the trail had ended up at.

'Why would Joey come here? This doesn't make sense. Is he fixing this place up? If so, what for?' Scratching his head, Yugi decided to confront Joey and get the truth out of him...first thing tomorrow morning. With that thought in mind, Yugi sprinted back to his home.

&&&&

Ascending the grand staircase, Joey made a beeline for Seto's room. The window and bed curtains were, of course, drawn, but Joey wasn't deterred. Slipping behind the bed curtains, he slid into bed beside his sleeping mate and laid there for a few moments, studying him. His mahogany hair laid flat on his pillow and forehead. His eyes were closed and his body was stiff and rigid. He looked like he was dead, except for the rise and fall of his chest. Despite his undead state, the skin was very much warm and gave Joey such comfort that he dozed off in the midst of his musings.

The sensation of something sliding across his neck, brought the blonde to instant wakfulness. Jerking upright, he saw Seto laying on his side, head propped up by his hand, and a smirk graced his face. "Morning, love."

"Evening, you mean."

"To you it is. To me it's morning. Bakura should be returning with the doctor tonight."

"Oh, that's right. I hope they get here soon."

"As do I." The sound of footsteps sounded in the hall, but both boys ignored it. Joey had learned to distinguish which vampire was which by the sound of their footsteps. The footsteps he had just heard belonged to Yami and he had been heading downstairs and had just left the house, judging by the sound of the door opening and closing.

The door opened and closed a second time, followed by a voice calling in a singsong tone, "I'm ba-ack."

"Well come on up and bring the doctor with you," Seto called from his bed.

Joey frowned as he heard only one pair of feet ascending the stairs. Moments later, the white-haired tombrobber stood in the doorway. "Hey, where's the doc?" Joey asked. "Is he behind ya? Come on, move aside."

"You heard Joey, Bakura. Where's the doctor you promised us?"

Bakura smirked as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You're looking at him."

"What?"

"Yup. Took evening college classes centuries ago."

"And you never told Yami or me? Why you conniving, lying, sneaky weasel!"

Jumping off his bed, the priest lunged for Bakura, who turned and ran down the hall, laughing his head off. In between snickers, Bakura called, "Of all the names you've called me Seto, those were the nicest ones yet!"

"You just wait until I get my hands on you!"

"Wouldn't you rather have me examine your mate before you do anything to me?"

Growling, the priest ceased his chasing and nodded. Leading the tombrobber back to his bedroom, he found Joey sprawled on the bed, his face buried in the pillow, and his shoulders shaking with laughter.

"You think that was funny, koi?"

Flipping onto his back, Joey gasped, "Yeah. That was too funny. Oh, man, Bakura, you sure pulled a fast one on us!"

"I'm thrilled you're so amused," Bakura said dryly. "If you can hold back your chuckles long enough, I'd like to begin the exam."

Smothering his laughter, Joey sat up and followed Bakura's every instruction. It wasn't a very long or complicated process. Joey just had lift up his shirt and allow Bakura to move his hands across his abdomen. "You sure ya doin' it right?"

"Of course. This is how a vampire checks for internal damage or for something out of the ordinary." Straightening up, the doctor instructed Joey to lower his shirt. "Well, after my examination, I can state that Joey is pregnant by one week. But, of course, you already knew that."

"Cut the sarcasm, Bakura. We merely wanted you to doublecheck. And thanks so much for making us wait two damn days!"

"Oh, it was my pleasure." Smirking, Bakura exited the room, pleased with his ability to trick Seto. It was the perfect revenge for getting hurled across the room weeks ago.

That sure was sneaky of Bakura, huh? How will Joey explain his actions to Yugi if and when he confronts him? R&R.