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Chapter 7
John got in his car and drove back to his Mom's house, completely forgetting they were coming back tonight he walked in and saw them with Mathew in the living room, they had picked Mathew up at his mom's house on their way home, the three of them were sitting on the couch catching up when John walked in.
"Hey baby, you're back, we've been waiting for you to get in before we went to bed, I want to tell my boy about my honeymoon" eve told him when she first saw him but then she took a good look at him and she knew something was wrong.
"Johnny is everything alright?" Eve asked as she walked over by him
"Yeah mom, just fine, I just forgot you were coming back tonight."
"John are you sure, you don't look so good son"
"Yeah I'm sure I ... I just don't know how to tell you this mom but I got called back to the DC office sooner than expected, I need to leave tonight and cut my trip short" John told Eve and Eve was of course disappointed, they all spoke for a few minutes when John gathered his stuff and left. Bo decided to go and talk to John for a few minutes while he was putting his bag in the back of his car.
"John, wait up a second. I just wanted to thank you for watching over the station, and the Foley case . I appreciate it."
"No need to Thank me Bo, I'm glad I could help."
"Well is there anything about it I should know"
"Not much, Foley hasn't approached your niece yet " John said not saying her name, he couldn't say it right now, right now he wanted to forget her name.
"Is there anything else?"
"No, I don't think so.. Oh, wait, your niece, she's been getting Manhandled a lot in the bar, I mean a lot and I think it may be affecting her, I'm not really sure how much longer she can last in that dive" John told him, he knew it might tick her off what he just told Bo but he didn't give a hoot about it, he just called it how he saw it, and he definitely saw her at the end of her rope.
"Really, do you think she might do something stupid and get herself in some sort of trouble in that place?"
"Maybe if she wants it over soon enough, she's a bit impatient your niece"
"That she is, that Natalie definitely is, you know, Natalie, she's something else, I mean I've never seen someone over come so much at such a young age. Life hasn't always been kind to her. Do you know my niece grew up in AC, not far from where you and your mom use to live."
"What?"
"Yeah, I know it's a bit confusing but Natalie just found out she was a Buchanan about six years ago, we just found out she even existed six years ago. She was kidnapped at birth and no one even knew she existed, she didn't have an easy life in AC, she hasn't had that much better of one since finding us either, I really though, we all thought things were changing for her when she and Chris fell in Love but well...well I guess we were wrong"
"She.. she never said anything about any of that"
"Oh, have you two become close?"
"Friends"
"That's good, see that's why I have such a soft spot in my heart for my niece, no matter how many times she's been down and out she's strong and she some how manages to bounce back up and usually better than ever. I'm sorry; I don't know why I went into all that. Have a safe trip back to DC and we hope to see you back for the holidays."
John got his stuff and left his Mom's place, as he drove around Llanview he looked at all the houses, all the sites, it really was a nice place, a nice town, he almost hated to leave, but he had to, he couldn't be here any longer because of what happened with them, with Natalie tonight, with the way he was starting to feel for her and with the regret he heard in her voice after they made love, had sex or what ever it would have been considered. He was just driving past the block to turn down to go to her apartment when he turned the car towards her building without even realizing it, as if his heart was driving he drove to her apartment and got out of his car. He couldn't just leave without saying goodbye, he thought and he walked to her door.
John knocked gently on her door for a few minutes and he could have sworn he heard a noise near it but when he called out her name she didn't answer him or the door.
Natalie was just getting up from the bed, she had been laying in her bed the past few hours after do left, not being able to move out of it, not wanting to move out of it, she didn't like what her heart was telling her, she was trying so hard to ignore it, she couldn't have a place in it for him already, she thought as she laid there in silence. She had just gotten up for a drink of water and was entering the kitchen when she heard a faint knocking, she had a feeling it was him even before he called her name thru the door, she stopped what she was doing and walked over by the door to be closer to him, she put her back to it and slid down to the ground and sat as she heard him speak thru it.
"Natalie, Natalie, I know you can hear me, please open the door" John asked softly but Natalie was frozen, she couldn't open it, she couldn't chance opening it and letting him in again, letting him completely in, he was a stranger, he would be living soon and going back to where it was he belonged. She held back tears as she shook her head wondering why? Why she felt like she was making a huge mistake.
"Natalie, I.. I just came by to tell you to be careful, on the assignment, I'm...I'm not going to be there and I.. well, I have to cut my trip short, I have to go back to DC for work" John said and then he took a breath, he was lying to her about having to leave early for work. He didn't feel good about the lie he told her and even his mom but what was he going to say, I'm leaving cause I'm falling in love with you and you don't want it, my love that is.
"Natalie please open the door " he softly begged her once more but she didn't. She started to move away from the door, he wouldn't put himself out there again, he tried, that was all he could do.
"Just be careful Natalie, Okay, just don't get hurt" John said as he walked down the hall of her building and left town.
Natalie sat by the door for a few hours just glassy eyed, she refused herself to cry, she wouldn't let herself, finally she got up off the floor, dusted herself off and went over to the mirror on the wall in the Living room, she looked at herself in it.
"It would have been so much worse if he had held me, so much worse" she told herself and she went into bed.
John drove back to DC, it took him longer cause of traffic on hwy 95. He was trying to keep his mind off of her but he just couldn't. His mind kept wondering to what ifs. What if she wanted more from him, what if he told her how he was feeling, what if he decided to stay in Llanview, quit his job and stay near his family, near her, would that have made a difference in the way she was feeling, what if he just decided right here, right now to forget her, forget the week he spent happy, happy for the first time in a long time, although they argued a lot in that weeks time they connected, she seem to open up to him, and he to her. What if he just went on with his life let he always had. His lonely dark life.
The next morning Natalie walked into the station already in a bad mood, she was grumpy by the fact that she didn't get enough sleep last night cause he was all she thought about last night, he left town and she instantly missed him. She shook her head clear of him for the moment as she saw her uncle was back at work and she went into his office to talk with him.
"Hey, how was the Honeymoon?" Natalie asked as she gave him a kiss on the cheek
"Great! Really , really, Great!"
"Okay, ick! You don't have to say anything else about it" Natalie said and she laughed as did he.
"How's things with you? With the case? "
"Fine, I'm scheduled to work at the Red Pelican tonight and I'm hoping to get Izzy to trust me a little more, maybe he'll even decide to make a move or something" Natalie told her uncle as he motioned for her to sit.
"Natalie honey, I really need to talk to you about the case, I'm pulling you off it"
"What! You can't do that, I've been working so hard on it, why would you even think about pulling me off of it?"
"I heard it was getting to you, emotionally, and Honey I know how impulsive you can be when you get impatient for something to happen, I don't want to see you do something stupid and get hurt"
"Who said it?"
" Uncle Bo who said it was getting to me?"
"John Mcbain, but he said cause he was watching out for you, he said you guys were friends"
"No, not anymore we're not"
