ABC Owns Them
Chapter 13
"So why did you lie again? And did you just say all those things to me in the cabin to make me feel better cause I was in a bad place. What was all that crap about your heart not lying cause maybe your heart doesn't but your brain and your mouth sure do."
Natalie told John as she slowly turned around to look at him. John felt crushed, her words, she seem to be upset, upset to the fact that he told a few baby lies, lies to cover the way she was making him feel. He felt frustrated all of a sudden, how was he going to explain it to her, he wasn't good with words, but he saw her attitude towards him change just a little, he would have to find the words. John began to open up his mouth not really knowing how to tell her when she spoke first.
"You know what? That's not fair," she said trying to bring herself out of the disappointment she felt when she realized he only came back for work and that he had originally lied to her about why he left.
"It doesn't matter that you lied, or why you came back, I mean, we're just friends, nothing more, nothing less and you were a really good friend to me last night, this morning, I really needed it and you were there for me, so lets forget it, Okay?" Natalie told him trying to make herself believe the words coming from her mouth, the words that they were nothing more than friends. It wasn't an easy task trying to believe it, but what was the alternative, fall in love with a man she barely knew and that lived far away. She shook her head thinking to herself that she wasn't going to chance her heart with falling in Love with John Mcbain.
"Natalie, I...I'm ... I think my heart is falling in Love with you, and... and it doesn't lie" John told her as he walked closer to her.
"John, it may not lie but does it get confused? Because we barely know each other for it to be thinking that. It's impossible to be in Love with someone after only knowing them such a short period of time." Natalie stated trying so desperately to twist things to make him think what he was feeling wasn't love, trying so hard to push the feelings that she was having for him down, to bury them, bury them in a place where she could never retrieve them so she would never get hurt by them.
"No, Natalie. It's not impossible" they both stood silent for a few minutes after John spoke, he walked over to her, looked straight into her eye's and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.
"We shouldn't be discussing this now, you've been thru so much, you need to rest" he told her tenderly and she backed up a bit and slowly.
"I'm fine John, I'm starting to feel better and I think we need to get this out in the open before...before.. Well we just do." Natalie said as she stood a few feet away from him at this point.
"I think we should still be friends and that's it." Natalie told him as he started to run his hand thru his hair. He moved a little closer to her before he spoke. While still looking into her eye's he told her.
"Natalie, I can't just be your friend, I want us to be more, with every piece of me I want us and know we could be so much more." John said those tender words and then his hand caressed the cheek of her face.
"I know you feel it too, don't just ignore it, Cause I can't" John told her and he leaned in and gently kissed her lips. Natalie stood frozen with her eyes closed for a few minutes after he kissed her.
"Lets just try it, Natalie lets just try, Please?" he asked as her eyes were still closed. Natalie opened her eyes and backed away from him, she walked over towards the window again and looked outside.
"I don't think I can..I mean.. I'm afraid to, to give us a try at something more, something that could hurt me so bad... see, this is how I see it, we get involved, my heart goes there to that place, to that place with you, you lie or leave and I'm broken again, I've been broken before, I've been thru that kind of pain and I don't think I can chance being like that again." Natalie told him staring out the window as she felt him walk closer to her
"So, what are you going to do just ignore it? Ignore what we both know you're feeling, ignore this thing between us, and what? Be friends instead and do you really think that's gonna work, do you honestly think that's gonna work, that we can just be friends, nothing more and that we can even be near each other and not want to touch each other, not want more." John told her as he faced her back.
"Yeah, It has to"
"I can't ignore it Nat, my feelings... the way you make me feel, But, if you want to ignore them fine, if you think it's going to be so easy, we'll be friends, and we'll see how it works out, but if we were together Nat, if we gave it a try I would never lie to you about anything of importance and with the way my heart already feels about you, the way I already feel about you after only a few weeks, I know I could never leave" John said as he turned her around to look at him with his hands
"It isn't going to be easy, easy to be near each other and not touch each other, it won't be as easy as you think to fight the feeling you have for me." John told her as he stared into her eyes.
"You think you're that irresistible don't you?" Nat said with a small laugh.
"Yup, I do, to you I am" John told her in a cocky attitude, they both stood staring at each other daring the other to look away and break the connection
"You look tired, why don't you take a nap before you have to give your statement to the FBI" Natalie nodded yes
"Come on, I'll tuck you in before I leave" John said as he guided her to her bedroom, he pulled the covers down for her and she got in the bed. John was about to lean in and kiss her forehead when she grabbed his hand.
"Can you stay till I fall asleep?" She asked him and he smiled
"Sure" John said and then he went over towards her chair in the room, but she again took his hand before he got to far.
"There's room here on the bed," Natalie told him and his smile turned into a smirk
"No, the chair is saver" John told her as he slowly moved his hand out of her grip.
"Yeah, this friends thing is gonna work all right" John said quietly and sarcastically as he took a seat in the chair, he watched her sleep.
John hadn't realized how tired he himself was, he had fallen sleep in the chair when he was awoken by moans. He jumped up thinking she was having a bad dream and he saw she was still asleep and she had a smile of sorts on her face, actually not quite a smile but a sign of.. A sign of ecstasy. He questioned himself if that was really what her face looked liked. He remembered there encounter not so long ago and yes, it was, he knew for sure once he heard her moan out in her sleep a few times.
He smiled at he thought that she was having an erotic dream and he also got excited by it, he watched her carefully with a smirk on his face knowing as much as she was fighting him on being more than friends, he was already under her skin. He got even more excited by her obvious dream of pleasure when she moaned out his name in her dream. With a big smile forming across his face at this point he walked closer to her in the bed and knocked right into her nightstand and knocked a picture onto the floor.
The picture made a loud noise and Natalie awoke out of her dream, she jumped up and saw him bending down to pick up the picture, he stood back up and he saw her awake, cursing himself for being so clumsy, he smiled at her.
"I'm sorry I woke you, I was a bit clumsy"
"That's alright"
"Are you alright? You were calling out in your sleep" John asked her baiting her to see if she remembered the dream of him and if she would tell him about having it.
Yeah, I'm fine. I...I think I was having a dream"
"Wanna talk about it? Is it to painful to relive?"
"No...I mean, yes, it's too painful to relive, I'm gonna get ready and go down to the station now" Natalie told him as she went inside to brush her hair and get ready. Natalie closed the bathroom door and then she stood behind it holding her head in her hands. She was dreaming about him, not just dreaming about him but also having an amazing dream about them making love, not a memory of the encounter but a dream of pure bliss, him holding her after wards and all. There was a connection between them in the dream and it made her smile just thinking about it again now. She shook her head knowing, knowing that although she keeps telling him she wants to be friends, that she needs them to only be friends, she knew he was right, she again shook her head not knowing how she was going to get out of this, these feelings with her heart still intact.
