Chapter 18 - Learning to Race.

Nyssa woke up the next day with Vince still snoring away beside her. Normally he was gone for the day if she slept in. He took off to do god only knew what most days. Nyssa didn't know and thought it better if she didn't ask. She didn't want to have any information if she was ever questioned on it by an outside party. She didn't know what he did on the days when he didn't show up at the garage but she did know he disappeared for hours at time. He sure was up to something, likely something illegal but Nyssa didn't care. She just told herself when it had counted he'd done the right thing by her and that was all that mattered. She was finally free, mostly thanks to him

Nyssa finally decided to get up and got dressed quietly before sneaking out of the room, leaving Vince asleep and went looking for Letty. The girls had had a conversation about Nyssa's race training the other day. Nyssa had wanted someone to help her get better at it so she could surprise Vince with her skill since he still didn't think she practised enough or wanted to win bad enough. Letty had agreed to help her out. She wanted to see the look on ol' Coyote's face when Nyssa was suddenly a great racer.

It had helped that Letty had hated every minute of Dom teaching her to race, so she wasn't about to send Nyssa there looking for the help she wanted. She had also known how to drive already when Dom taught her to race. The only reason she got good at it had been because she had to, just to rub Dom's nose in it. She could hold her own in a race with any of the guys at this stage of her life. She was looking forward to having another chick around who could race as well as she did. She loved Mia like a sister but the girl had no interest in racing and sometimes Letty just felt like Mia didn't get her at all. She knew she had found a kindred spirit in Nyssa. At least when it came to racing. Nyssa was still too girlie for her own good.

When Nyssa reached the kitchen Letty was already at the table having some orange juice.

"Mornin'." Nyssa yawned as she helped herself to the Tropicana.

"Yeah." Letty grunted, never a morning person.

"Oh, this is going to be fun isn't it? You trying to teach me to do something I'm not great at doing in that mood."

"I'll be fine once I get on the road, don't sweat it. Mornings are not my forte."

"Really? I love mornings."

"Somehow I'm not surprised. You'd kinda half to, waking up next to that every day."

"Could say the same to you." Nyssa retorted as she leaned on the counter with her juice. Both girls shared a look and then cracked up laughing.

"You ready to do this thing or not?"

"Hell yeah, let's go!"

They headed out into the midmorning sun and got into their cars. They headed off to a little race track Letty knew they'd be welcome to use if nothing else was going on. It was a little track Leon had introduced her to but once she'd started going regularly she'd become a favourite among the staff. When they arrived they found themselves lucky as nothing else was going on at the track.

They took to the blacktop oval and started to practice.

Nyssa stopped the car and got out for the 10th time since they'd arrived and started doing practice runs.

"Jesus Letty, I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. You say you're going easy on me but I can't come close to you. How can I ever race if I can't even beat my friend who's trying to let me win?"

"Nyssa, you can't just race like a machine, you know?" Letty paused and pulled a face, thinking how to phrase what she wanted to say. "It's not a skill you can learn from a text book. Not really. You can learn the how's and why's that way but not the spirit of the whole thing. You need a motivation. You need to put your heart into it. You need to feel the adrenaline in your blood."

"I am trying Letty but I mean, damn it, I thought I was faster then I am right now. I am faster when I'm just doing drills then I am when you and I race. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm trying just as hard as I do when I'm not racing anybody but I'm not moving as fast."

"That's what's wrong girl. You're treating racing me like it's just another run. Like beating me is a skill you could have gotten in a text book. I know Vince is a capable teacher but maybe he neglected to tell you one fundamental thing about racing."

"What's that?"

"It has to be a sport of passion. You need to feel it in your soul. You're going to be racing guys with years more experience, talent, and the will to win above anything else. Worse when it's against you because you're a girl. You need to find that drive in your heart and soul or you may as well give up now. If you don't have the will to win then you can be the best technical racer in the world and you will never win races. Because the guy beside you who taught himself wants to win so bad he can taste it and he is actually sexually turned on over the rush. When I race, especially a guy, I want to beat him because I know he is looking at me thinking I have no idea what I am doing and some guy built my car for me. I want to show them the error of snap judgements."

"I do want to win, but I just can't see you in that kind of light that I want to cream you. You're one of my best friends."

"Ok," Letty sighed and blew some loose hair off her forehead in frustration, "let's look at this from another angle. You are racing exactly the way Vince taught you Right? Shifting when he taught you, nitrous when he taught you and so on right?"

"Well yeah," Nyssa paused in confusion, "isn't that right?"

"Yes and no. Technically yes, I'm sure he taught you the right things, the right times to do stuff, but on the other hand you have to learn to do stuff when it feels right to you. You have to have a feel for it. You have to feel it, like on instinct. Listen to me. I bet you never knew there was anything this deep about me huh? Letty the racer has feelings."

"Well, I knew that Lett but I still don't really know what you mean about feel it."

"Well think of the car as a man. From this point forward your car is a he not a she ok."

"Um..Ok..." Nyssa looked up in surprise, embarrassment tingeing her cheeks a faint pink. She had a funny feeling anything that came after being told her car was a he was going to be interesting.

"Now when you are with a man, you know, with him," Letty winked, "do you go by what some book told you to do? Did a friend teach you how do what you do with a man? Do you have a manual for how you do what you do with Vince? No you just go by the feelings, let your feelings tell you what to do right?"

"No, I have no manual but I wish I did. I don't do what you think I do with Vince. We never reached that point yet. But I think I see what you mean now."

"Hold up, you and Vince have never done it? Ever?" Letty raised an eyebrow and waited for the answer, hands on her hips.

"Um..No.." The faint pink in Nyssa's cheeks was now bright red flags of colour.

"Well that's your problem, his too, neither of you are getting' any. Just jump his bones and you'll race better. Learn to handle your man in bed, learn to race him on the streets and win." Letty looked like she had just cured cancer, she was that smug and happy with herself.

"No I really get it now. I don't have to rush out and have sex to get it. You finally got through to me. I need to lose myself in the moment, into the car, become one with the car as it were, visualize myself winning and want that so bad nothing else matters. Want it so bad it doesn't matter if I am racing you or Dom or Johnny Tran. I have to want to win above all else as long as I am behind the wheel of the car. That's the passion, that's the feeling. And as long as I just drive the car I can't win. I have to let the fact that I wanna win and be the best be the only thing that matters when I race.

"Now you get it. See? But you still need to get on Vince, You don't know what you're missing out on."

"Well I'm not a virgin you know." Nyssa protested hotly, her lack of experience making her embarrassed. "But I only did it once before, just because everyone was. It hurt like hell, it was terrible, no fun, and me and the guy broke up almost right after." Nyssa pulled a face at her lie. "Well, since we are being all deep and shit, we didn't break up. He was only with me cause he and his friends had a bet about if he could get me to give it up to him or not. I was overweight and shy and they made a bet over whether I would have sex with Doug just because a he was cute and he asked me out. But like I said, it just seemed like all my friends were doin it, and he was cute. Then after it was too late I found out about the bet. Since then I haven't had any interest. Well, 'til Vince, but I don't want to rush things."

"Girl, trust me. You wouldn't be rushing things, the boy is half in love with you already, he's just notoriously thick skulled. The sooner you give him some the sooner it will dawn on him how important you are to him. Men are ruled by their dicks. Learn to live with it, and accept it. Because when you understand the nature of a thing, you know what it's capable of."

Both women laughed at that. Nyssa and Letty climbed back into their cars and decided to do one more run. Letty was still going easy on Nyssa but she thought that perhaps the time for going easy on her was over. Nyssa won. Letty was pleased. She had finally gotten through to Nyssa. Helped her find her edge. Now she could race. She still had a long way to go really, to be able to race people who wanted to beat her but she was well on her way with her new found motivation. Nyssa seemed almost too laid back by times. She had to find her inner bitch. And Letty thought with a laugh, she was just the girl to help her with that. They headed home after Nyssa had managed to almost beat Letty again when Letty wasn't trying to let her.

Vince was gone when they got back and he never showed for dinner. Nyssa was starting to get worried about him by the time the supper dishes were washed and put away. It just wasn't like him to miss a meal. She did all her homework and there was still no sign of him. It was 9:30 already when she checked the clock.

Man where the hell is he? She mused to herself. She had to have some idea. She went looking for Leon. She thought Dom was more likely to know Vince's whereabouts but she just wasn't comfortable with Dom like she was with Leon and Jesse. She found Leon in front of the PS2. She wondered where else she figured she had been going to find him.

"Hey Leon."

"Hey chick. What's up?"

"Just wondering where Vince is. You got any idea?"

"No idea. Haven't seen him all day." Leon answered but his focus on his game was just a little too intense and Nyssa knew he was keeping something from her.

"Leon, come on. I know you know where he is. I'm not asking for details here. I just wanna know if he planned to be gone this long and if he's likely ok where ever he is."

"He's fine. I don't know if he planned on taking this long but I know he's fine. Hell, call him on his cell if you want to. He won't care." How'd she do that? Leon asked himself as he realized he had just admitted he knew where Vince was despite knowing just a second ago he'd decided not to say anything. Nyssa could be some kind of scary when she wanted something. He rationalized his lapse by telling himself it was only fair she knew that Vince was ok if she was really as worried as she sounded.

"I'm not gonna call him. It's not like I'm checking up on him or somethin'. He can come and go whenever he wants. It's just fine with me." Nyssa started to walk away and Leon would swear as she walked off he heard her mumbling about 'why would he want to do something like leave me a note or tell someone to tell me he was going to be gone a flippin day.'

Vince was really in for it whenever he did get back, Leon figured, not looking forward to hearing the fight echo through the downstairs rooms at some god awfully early hour of the morning.

Nyssa was still fuming to herself as she stomped into the kitchen up from the basement. She was looking for Letty and found her in the living room. Nyssa threw herself down on the couch with her friend and sighed.

"Something up?" Letty asked.

"No." Nyssa growled back and sighed again.

"Really? Doesn't sound like nothing."

"It's just," Nyssa looked at Letty, anger evident. "Vince. He's gone to god knows where and he didn't bother to tell me when he'd be back. I don't know if it's normal he's been gone all this time or not since he didn't bother to inform me of anything. Heaven forbid he just told me when I might expect him back so I don't worry about it all night."

"Tell me about it. But it's just how guys are. Nothing much to do about it other then deal or yell at them all the fuckin time."

"So what, you just don't care when Dom does shit like this?" Nyssa asked incredulously.

"Hell no, it's not that I don't care. I care. I just can't yell at him every time he does something inconsiderate. I'd spend my whole life yelling at him. I have my ways of getting back at him but I don't use yelling anymore."

"What do you do then?"

"I don't talk to him until I get an explanation that satisfies what I need to know. And if the silent treatment doesn't work in a reasonable amount of time the withholding of bedroom activities begins." Letty chuckled at the shocked look on Nyssa's face. "I guess that won't help you much, but it works for me."

"Letty!"

"Ok, ok. Girl, it'll work out. Just don't forgive him too fast."

The front door started to open and both of them looked over to see who it was.