Chapter XXVI – Flight of the Phoenix

The journey down the mountain and back to the gardens of the Shadow's home was a silent, somber one. The Ky-Lin kept a respectful peace, though his eyes wandered my way frequently, full of deepest sympathy. I refrained from making eye contact with him. I wanted no pity, no apologies. I just wanted this to end – the tearing, burning pain of loss that had become such a constant in my life, ever since leaving my mother and life behind at a tender age…

Some may say that you cannot miss that which you have never known, but they are fools. Despite not knowing of Jasper or Talitha's existence for years, their loss cut me as deeply as the loss of Shmi and Padme. At least I had my memories of my mother and beloved to cling to. Of Jasper I only had an all-too-short final meeting, and Talitha… I had nothing to know my birth-mother by. Nothing. I would never meet her, never know her, never have a chance to thank her for the enormous sacrifices she had made on behalf of my father and myself.

"We're here," the Ky-Lin murmured gently.

I looked up. We were back where we had started, the boulder-strewn meadow with the four paths branching away. There was no sign of the others.

Silently we continued on, not speaking. I wondered if I could have saved my father had I ignored his order to not use the ring. Probably not, for though the ring was powerful, it had its limits. Preventing death was most certainly beyond that limit…

Muffled weeping reached my ears. I followed that sound to another clearing, one bisected by a fallen tree. The Shadow sat upon the dead trunk, holding Jessa as the cyborg girl gave vent to her feelings. Her entire metallic body shook violently with the force of her sobs.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Go, son of the dragon," the Shadow ordered, though not without kindness. "Jessa has been through an ordeal. She needs time to recover." She nodded forward. "The acklay is about fifty meters in that direction. You may join him there. In fact, I think all of us will gather there once everyone has returned."

I left them alone and walked on. But I could not help but wonder just what Jessa had experienced to leave her so shaken.

Nightwind lay beside a deep pond, gazing dreamily into its depths, occasionally snapping playfully at the surface as if to catch a fish. Upon seeing us enter, he lifted his head and gave me a penetrating stare.

"You're sad," he said at last.

"How can you tell?" I asked. "My mask hides my emotions."

"Your thoughts are sad," he replied. "And so is your smell. Everything gives off feeling-smells. Humans just don't understand them."

I did not debate that point. "My father is dead. And I watched him die."

He barked in surprise. "Great bones! No wonder you're sad."

I leaned against the great beast's shoulder, finally allowing the tears to escape. No more… no more… I could not take this anymore… how much more could be ripped from me? What more would sadistic fate take from me before it was satisfied?

Nighwind's muzzle pressed sympathetically against me. "My father's dead too. And my mother. Killed by hunters. Brothers and sisters dead too. Very sorry."

Strangely, I took some comfort from the acklay's declaration. The knowledge that everything, even those considered mere animals, knew the pain of loss seemed to reassure me I was not alone in my suffering.

It was some time before the others straggled in, all in various stages of shock. Fett limped in shortly after my arrival and sat down heavily at the shore of the pond, as silent as a statue. Tuck and Luke arrived together, whispering something I did not quite catch before seating themselves beside me. Jessa's entry was as silent as Fett's, though she made no move to join us but instead hung at the clearing's edge as if reluctant to call herself part of us.

It was dusk by the time Ash and the Shadow finally arrived, the phoenix circling the meadow once before alighting on a tree branch. The Shadow seated herself in the grass cross-legged, folding her hands neatly in her lap as she regarded us.

"Gather around, Seven Who Are One," she commanded. "Let us enjoy a final evening together."

"Final evening?" Luke repeated.

She nodded. "You didn't honestly think this could last forever, did you?"

No one answered. I could not speak for the others, but on some level I indeed wished the fellowship would not dissolve. A portion of me wanted nothing more than to traverse the galaxy with my comrades, my bizarre but closely-knit family, embarking on adventures and exchanging good-natured jibes and laughter…

"This is the last night you will spend here," the Shadow went on. "You will depart in the morning. Beyond the windy plains that mark my territory you will find a spaceport. That will lead you to your destinies."

"Don't wanna go," whimpered Nightwind. "Want to stay with my friends."

She laughed kindly. "Oh little one, I know you love your friends. But you have a place in the galaxy. You all do." Her eyes took us all in before resting on me. "You do realize, son of the dragon, that almost a year has passed since you found that ring?"

"A year?" When the stang did I lose track of the time?

"Two weeks shy of a year," she added. "And in that time you – and everyone else here – has grown considerably. You have not reached the end of your potential, of course, for nothing stops growing, no matter how old. But I judge each of you mature enough to progress to the next great stages of your lives."

No one spoke. The knowledge that our journey was coming to an end was sobering. I supposed we had all taken our time together for granted, thinking the moment would never end and tomorrow would never come. To know we would soon go our separate ways…

"It's getting dark, isn't it?" the Shadow said at last. "Let's have a little light in here, shall we?"

Ash shone red-gold, and a blaze flared to life in the center of the circle we had formed, throwing amber light upon our faces and gleaming on metal and armor, staining the Shadow's clothing gold.

"This reminds me of my church's youth camp every summer back home," Jessa noted, edging closer. "We'd always have a big campfire on the last night, and everyone would sing songs and share stories."

"Care to lead us in a song?" asked Luke.

"Hell, no, I don't want to hear THIS group singing 'Kumbiya!'" she replied quickly.

I laughed despite myself. It was good to hear Jessa returning to her old self.

"But sharing stories is just what I had in mind," the Shadow replied. "Who would like to go first?"

Nightwind gave an affirmitive yelp. "I will."

She nodded at the acklay. "Then tell us about your meeting with your family."

He stared into the fire, a comically thoughtful expression on his muzzle. "Not real family. Not mother and father and nest-mates. But acklays, lots of them all over. Wrestled and played. Chased animals and ate. Sunned ourselves. Shared stories. They thought I'd had some weird adventures." He closed his jet-black eyes. "Wanted me to join them."

The Shadow nodded. "Did you want to?"

"Kind of." He opened his eyes again and faced the Shadow. "But I've been raised around humans. Don't know much about wild. If I stayed, could I survive?"

The Shadow's eyebrows arched. "Could you?"

He drew his head back, surprised. Then he shifted his bulk a bit to get comfortable and resumed his study of the flames.

"Jessa, why don't you go next?" the Shadow suggested. "You and Nightwind went together, after all."

"We split up shortly afterward," Jessa replied, staring at her clawed droid hands. "But yeah, I guess I could go next." She hesitated, then pushed on. "After Nightwind chased after his family, I kept walking. I walked awhile… and I realized the path was becoming familiar. I realized… I realized I was back home. On Earth. In my hometown. And the first thing I did, of course, was track down my old house."

She looked up at us, a sad laugh coming from her faceplate. "I have a little sister now. Just turned three. Iolana, they named her – 'to soar like an eagle.' They always liked the odd names…" Her voice became fainter, more distant. "They tore down the high school I used to go to. It's a Wal-Mart now. The new high school is ugly as sin… and they ripped out the old cafe and put in a dry cleaner. Everything's changed, it seems."

"Things do change," the Shadow acknowledged. "It's inevitable."

"They buried me next to Harley," she went on, oblivious to the sorceress' remark. "Someone left old action figures at our graves, too. Must have known I didn't like flowers…"

"What did your family say when they saw you again?" asked Luke. "They must have been shocked…"

"I didn't show myself to them," she replied. "Spied through windows, that's it. I couldn't do that to them. They've already buried me. They think I'm dead, as dead as Harley. It took years, but I think Mom's finally gotten over Harley being dead. They've moved on." She seemed to shrink into herself, hugging herself as if suddenly cold. "But I haven't moved on. Just like Vader said on Grievous' ship. I've kept myself from going on, because I always thought I'd go back home and things would be the same as they were. I couldn't show myself to my family again, because things WON'T be the same. They've grown. They're over it. Me coming back into their lives – and as a droid freak, to boot – would just hurt them all over again."

The silence was dark and heavy as the Shadow considered Jessa's words. Then, without another word on the subject, she turned to Luke. "Who did you meet, young Jedi, and what transpired?"

He smiled sadly. "Yoda. Obi-wan. And a man who says he knew my father long ago… a man named Qui-Gon Jinn."

I smiled at the mention of Qui-Gon. Ah, my old friend, my first mentor, the being I had idolized as the ideal Jedi – compassionate, wise, thoughtful, gentle, giving…

"Obi-wan and Yoda admitted that they had omitted certain points of the Code in my teachings, including that 'no emotion' precept. Yoda said he had left it out because my training had to be extremely condensed, and he could only teach me what was most important. But Obi-wan had a different explanation – that the Codes forbidding attachment are what drove my father to the dark side, and they couldn't risk losing me, even if it meant leaving those Codes out of my teachings."

"And Qui-Gon?" asked the Shadow. "Did he have anything to say on the matter?"

"He didn't say much," Luke replied, looking up to meet my gaze. "Only to tell you, Father, that he never lost his faith in you, even in your darkest moments… and that if you and I were allowed our mistakes, then perhaps we should allow the Order their mistakes."

I snorted a laugh. "I'm sure that went over well with Yoda," I noted sarcastically.

"Believe it or not, it did," Luke replied. "He told me that the Jedi have come to realize that not all of the blame for their fall can be laid on the Sith. The Order was not perfect. Nothing is. But we shouldn't hate the Order for their mistakes, but learn from them."

The Shadow laughed. "Nice to hear Master Yoda unbend himself enough to admit there were problems with the Order." She turned to Ash. "Next?"

"I don't know how you did it, Shadow," Ash said wonderingly, "but I arrived at my destination in time to be part of a meeting of the magic beasts."

"Oh?" she replied. "That hasn't happened in a few centuries. Do go on. What was being discussed?"

Ash shifted from one foot to the other, then back again. "Creatures of magic are becoming few and far between in this galaxy of ours," she said gravely. "Many of the magicians and sorcerors were slain in the Purges, mistaken for Jedi. The dragons are all but extinct. Few of the unicorns dare to leave their haunts. Of the Ky-Lins, only one remains in this plane of existence. A mere handful of my fellow phoenixes remain. The elves, the centaurs, the dwarves, the harpies, the beasts of land and sea and sky… all grow scarcer by the century. Only the griffons are still abundant, and their numbers dwindle with every passing year."

The Shadow's eyes darkened. "If even griffons are dying out, the state of affairs is sad indeed."

Ash nodded. "Yes. Magic cannot die. The galaxy needs magic, more so than it knows." She fell silent, thoughtful.

"Thank you," the Shadow told the phoenix. "Tuck or Fett, who wants to go next?"

Tuck raised his hand. "As we walked, our pathway went from stone to metal. The next thing I knew, we were on Kamino, at Tipoca City. That's where our paths parted."

"Tell us of your path."

"The city was in chaos. Apparently the Empire had ordered every last clone soldier, even those that normally would have been held back for reconditioning, to be shipped out for a last stand against the Alliance. With all the hue and cry going up, no one noticed me wandering around."

"Did you acquire anything in your wanderings?"

"Yes." He rested his chin on his clasped hands. "I went there seeking answers, and I usually find what I'm looking for. What I found… was relief. Relief that I would not suffer the fate of my brothers. Relief that I would not be thrust onto the battlefield to be butchered just to satisfy the pride of a few pompous officers." He sighed. "Funny."

"What's funny?"

"I had hated my gift because it made me different from my brothers. But on Kamino… I guess I finally realized that being different from the other troopers may have made me an exile, but it also saved my life." He sighed. "I only wish I could have saved more of my brothers."

The Shadow gave him a sympathetic look, then her gaze moved to Fett.

"No one paid me any notice on Kamino," Fett said quietly, still as a corpse. "No one so much as demanded an ID card as I hacked into my father's quarters." He gave a dry chuckle. "Can you believe his belongings were still in there? They never even cleaned our apartment out. The memories were so thick on the walls…" He paused.

"Is that all?" the Shadow asked.

"Some of it I do not wish to repeat," he said sharply.

"Then share what you feel comfortable sharing," she replied.

After a long pause, he went on. "I read his journals. His Mandalorian journals." Pause. "You know, you think you know the ones you love… but they can prove to be the most complete strangers of all. There was a side to my father I never knew – his devotion to the Mandalorian Order. He considered those men his family… and he had vowed to bring the Order back, with me as his first protégé, after Dooku had taken power. It never happened."

The Shadow nodded. "Thank you, Fett. I know this is difficult for you." She turned to face me. "Young one."

My hand moved to my belt, where I had hidden Jasper's gemstones and Talitha's letters in a concealed pouch. "I met my father, Jasper."

"And?" she pressed.

I closed my eyes, an unsuccessful effort to hold back the pain. "He is dead now. Old age claimed him shortly after I left him."

"I'm sorry," she told me, voice suffused with emotion. "Did he answer your question?"

"My mother sickened and died on All Hallow's Eve, fifteen years after the Dragon Council attempted to destroy her and my father."

The Shadow's eyes lit up. "All Hallow's Eve. A night of powerful magic… and a night of infamy in your family."

"How so?" I asked.

"It was on an All Hallow's Eve that your mother became an orphan and began her journey… an All Hallow's Eve when your father claimed his dragon birthright and you were conceived… an All Hallow's Eve when my father's foolish greed and pride betrayed your parents… All Hallow's Eve when the Emperor and I gave you your human body and laid you in Shmi's arms… and All Hallow's Eve when you first discovered the ring."

Tuck whistled. "Freaky."

"So technically Vader was born on All Hallow's Eve?" asked Jessa. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

If I had expected the Shadow to deliver a farewell speech or explain what we should have learned from our entire ordeal, we were sorely mistaken. She merely gazed into the flames, her eyes dancing from time to time as if the crackling fire were whispering secrets to her in a language only she could decipher.

"Shadow… about finding our destinies," Tuck said at last. "How will we know when we have found what we are looking for?"

"You will know," she replied softly. "Trust me. You will know…"

Break…

I awoke with a jolt. My eyes raked the clearing, the slumbering forms about the dying fire, the surrounding trees. Something was amiss, I could sense it… but why was the ring so quiet? If the Force discerned it, surely the ring would give some sort of indication… Again I studied the bodies about the smoking ashes. All were present as far as I could tell. Nightwind's bulk was impossible to miss, and the others… Jessa was curled up between the acklay's forelegs, I could see Luke, there was Tuck, Fett and the Shadow…

Ash was missing. And with a cold sick feeling in my gut I knew why the ring had not alerted me to her departure. She was no longer part of us. It was as if she had cut herself free of the ties that bound us all.

Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of red-green-gold… the Ky-Lin's plumed tail. I stumbled over Fett's body in my haste to follow him, but he did not wake. Did the Ky-Lin have a hoof in this?

I kept going, straining my eyes to catch the flash of the Ky-Lin's rainbowed hide or the beat of a feathered wing. Branches caught at my cloak, undergrowth tangled my feet, stones seemed to thrust themselves into my path. But I would not be stayed. Nothing could stop me from finding out what Ash was planning to do.

Abruptly I broke into a clearing, this one in the farthest corner of the greenhouse. The Ky-Lin stood as solemnly as a bodyguard, watching Ash as she worked.

I thought my heart would stop. Ash must have been working all night to construct this – a pyre of dead branches, each stick and limb carefully arranged to her liking. Even as I watched she clambered over the affair, tugging on a branch here with her beak, twisting a limb there with her talons, occasionally snipping off the end of a stick she deemed too long or too crooked.

"Ash…"

She looked up. "I had hoped to spare you of this. Your past experience with fire has been… unpleasant."

"I thought you had planned to forego this."

"I had." Her fierce amber gaze met mine. "But I learned something in my journeyings with you and the others, as well as with the meeting of magic beasts. I have learned that I have a duty – a duty to my kind, a duty to this galaxy, and a duty to magic itself. I am needed still. For how long, I do not know… but I will stay as long as I am needed." She cocked her head amusedly. "Besides, I discovered many new things during our adventures. And for an immortal who once thought she had seen it all, that is something."

I could not tear my gaze from the pyre. "Will it hurt?"

She hunched her shoulders in a shrug. "I don't know. I never can remember if the rebirth is painful. But rest assured that, no matter what happens, I will emerge from the flames unscathed."

I did not know what to say. Ash had been our guide for much of the journey, first leading us to the Shadow, then lending her experience and considerable knowledge to our quests. I looked up to her as I had once looked up to Qui-Gon and Obi-wan, as a mentor and almost a parental figure. She had been a constant voice of reason, a trusted confidant… a true friend in every respect.

Ash took wing, landing on my outstretched arm. She gazed into my eyes as if seeking something. Then she pecked the side of my mask affectionately.

"I have faith, Anakin, that our paths will cross again. And I greatly look forward to seeing what you become in the time we are apart."

"Farewell, Ash," I told her. "May the Force be with you."

She launched herself from my arm and landed atop the pyre. She spread her wings and held her head high, like an image on a royal crest. The woven sticks at her feet smoked ominously, then burst into flame, angry white-gold flames that snarled hungrily as they devoured the pyre, then reached purposefully for Ash…

I had to turn away. I could not watch…

"It's all right, Anakin!" the Ky-Lin shouted. "It's all right! Look!"

"Father, look!" It was Luke, grasping my arm and shaking. "Look at Ash!"

I forced my eyes back to the pyre, half-expecting to see the phoenix blackened and burned. Instead, I beheld a vision as she was restored before my gaze. The flames seemed to shape her as they stroked and cradled her, taking away the layers of fat and crooked joints old age had given her. Wherever the fires touched her shimmered with the colors of the rainbow until she shone like a multicolored nova.

The others had somehow followed me here, and they exclaimed their surprise and awe as Ash, young and beautiful once again, beat her blindingly magnificent wings and rose from the flaming pyre in a shower of rainbow sparks. A single feather was shaken loose by her exertions, falling by my feet, and I stooped to pick it up. A handspan long, it gleamed as if forged from metal and glistened with color, blue at the base that faded to green, then gold, then orange, and finally a brilliant ruby at the tip.

"Remember me!" Ash cried, and with a shattering crash she had punched through the roof and was gone.

We stared at the gaping rift in the ceiling for a long time, long after the shards of broken transparisteel had stopped falling and the pyre had died out.

The Shadow threw back her head and laughed. "Now that, my friends, was a phoenix in her glory!"