New SG S9 opening credits. Cough

Title: Good Morning, Angels. Aka. The struggle for Jack's favourtism.

Author: Jo'Siris

Rating. K+.

Catagory: Parody

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

Pairing: None.
Summary. My opening episode of S9 and a way to have Jack there but not...

Once upon a time there were three little girls…actually there was an archaeologist (who sometimes acted like a girl), a scientist…(who tended to walk like a man on occasions), and a Jaffa…(who was sorta not a Jaffa cos he put his snake in another man…but that's another story)….

Who all went to the police academy…(oh hang on that's wrong…well the scientist shagged one who went to the police academy)…

But I took them away from all that…and now they work for me…my name is s Charlie /s Jack.

Cue Music

"Good morning Walter-Harriman-Norman-Davis…Whatever. Have you got our next assignment?"

"Just waiting on s Charlie /s Jack to… Red light flashes on intercom

"Good morning, Angels."

"Good morning, s Charlie /s Jack."

"Your assignment for today is to retrieve and safely detonate an explosive device trapped in the high branches of a tree in…"

"Ummm, I can't climb a tree. These trousers are new and I don't want to get them torn…"

"And I can't climb it…I mean I know I use my P-90 and do hand to hand combat and take things apart but I have my nails to consider they are always so perfect-climbing a tree might break one."

All eyes go to Teal'c

"Jaffa do not climb trees it is against their religion."

They all point to Teal'c and laugh

"Teal'c' afraid of heights!"

"At least I do not have four-eyes, DanielJackson."

Sam makes little circles around her eyes with her fingers.

"Oy! At least I have a hair brush and know how to use it!"

Sam cries like a girl (She does that a lot apparently)

"Angels! Children…I'm sick of your fighting, so I have recruited a new Angel…"

Angels all look stunned.

In walks… ( He hasn't got a name yet but he looks a lot like Daniel)

"I'll do the job s Charlie /s Jack. Then I'll be the new favourite Angel around here."

Daniel pinches Sam "This would never have happened if you'd slept with him like we told you to."

Sam cried again. And they all went off to eat Jello and sulk."

The End.