Chapter 7- The Emotion of Lavender
The next morning Snape was heading out of his personal quarters when he noticed that Tonks was still asleep on the couch. It was out of character for Snape to intervene last night, but he couldn't help himself. He knew how desperately she needed him and felt obliged to help her. After all, he couldn't just leave her there sulking in the hallway.
Snape didn't quite understand why Remus would be that callous to her. Sure she was maddening and immature at times, but he considered Tonks a good hearted person. After all, she is only twenty-four years old. Snape has never cared much for Remus, how could he? He was best friends with James Potter and Sirius Black, Snape's enemies. As far as Snape could remember, Remus had always been a nice guy. When Remus was a professor here, Snape was awfully rude to him and even got him fired. Yet Remus still is civil and professional with him after that.
In a way, Snape agreed with Remus' logic. She could do much better for herself by not ending up with him. Snape stopped, wondering why on earth he was dwelling on this; it was not any of his business. He shook it off and continued his way to the Great Hall for breakfast. He couldn't help but dread the day just as much as the night ahead. Facing Tonks after last night was going to be awkward, but he knew they have to discuss it.
Tonks woke up to her head feeling as if someone hit her with a stunning spell. Before she could muster up the strength to open her eyes, she felt her mouth begin to water. She immediately stood up and realized she had no idea where she was. She was confused and ran to the nearest rubbish bin before sick spewed everywhere.
Once she finally finished, she remained on the floor. She was sitting there slumped over the rubbish bin and looking around the room. She couldn't help but wonder where am I? With that thought she looked up to view her surroundings. She couldn't help admiring the striking décor of the room. It had a cozy sophisticated atmosphere about it with a scent of firewood and old books filling her nostrils. She stood up and began observing the paintings and books. All of the paintings looked dark and dreary except for one. It was a painting of a beautifully sunlit hill with a large tree on top. The painting looked as though it was painted from a sentimental memory. Tonks couldn't help but admire its beauty. She decided to sit down on the black leather couch. She was about to prop her feet up when she noticed a small vial on the coffee table. She read the note attached to the vial, Drink this.
Instantly a heart sinking feeling filled her. She put pieces of her memories together and realized her location. She was in the chambers of Severus Snape. The last memory she had last night was Snape guiding her into his office and handing her a bottle of mead. She must have passed out and he brought her here. Without a second of hesitation, she grabbed the vial of liquid and hurriedly left the room. She didn't want Snape returning while she was still there. She made her way to the secret passage way, keeping her head down so students wouldn't notice her. When she made it to the One-Eyed Witch statue she gulped down the potion and felt instantly better. Immediate relief filled her, not only from the potion, but the fact that no one spotted her leaving Snape's chambers. When she made it back to her room she couldn't help but worry.
After this morning's events, Tonks felt the need to shower. After turning on the water, she wished she could wash away her sorrow. When she stepped into the steaming stream she took a deep relaxing breath. She didn't know what it was that made her feel at ease, but she felt nurtured. It was nice to have someone there to comfort her in her moment of vulnerability, even if that person was Severus Snape. Snape deserves more than just thanks; she owes him an apology for misjudging his character.
After finishing his dinner, Snape walked to his living quarters. Convincing himself he only wanted to go there to freshen up, but in all honesty he wanted to see if Tonks was still there. When he made it to his chamber door, he paused just before entering. He couldn't help but ponder What if she is still there? What am I to say to her? He decided to get over it and turned the knob. The door creaked as it opened and he immediately noticed that someone was there, but it wasn't Tonks.
"Me so sorry, Professor Snape, I'm almost finished I promise." The elf trembled.
Snape noticed that the elf was cleaning out his common room rubbish bin. "No need to apologize, I just came in to check on something." Snape responded. Snape looked around with a disappointed look on his face.
"Do you mean Miss Tonks, sir?" the elf replied with a grin.
Snape was worried that the elf might of saw her in here earlier and could easily go running his mouth to others about Tonks staying in his chambers last night. "What makes you suggest that?"
"Oh…please forgive me…. sir. I assumed you knew." The elf looked frightened. Snape didn't know what it was about the elf, but he looked familiar.
"Assumed I knew what?" Snape questioned rudely. Snape didn't like when people assumed he knew something that he was never told.
The elf answered, "Miss Tonks sent me a request to clean your chambers, sir."
Snape thought it was nice of her to clean up after herself. Snape nodded his head and walked back out the door. He headed to the dungeons to begin his patrolling.
During tonight's duty Snape had taken fifteen points from Hufflepuff because he found two students fooling around in the broom cupboard. The familiar pain in his heart came to surface when he remembered the time Lily kissed him in the exact broom closet. Nothing can compare to the pain of having someone in your heart, but can never have them in your arms. There was nothing he wanted more than to hold Lily one last time and apologize for every wrong he had ever did to her. So many regrets he wished he could take back. He knew that words could only be forgiven, never taken back, and Lily made it clear that she would never forgive him. Snape realized he was about to drift into a treacherous state of mind. He took a deep breath and cleared his mind of all dark thoughts. He put his feelings aside; an art that has taken him his whole life to learn.
The night progressed and there wasn't another student out of bed. It was nearly two o'clock and he needed to check-in with Tonks. He hoped that her night went a lot better than his. Making his way up the moving staircases, he felt an odd feeling. A feeling he had not felt in a long time, anxious. Snape couldn't help but wonder, "Why am I anxious about meeting up with Tonks?" He continued to ponder over a solution, when he made it to the seventh floor corridor. As he walked around to find her the more uneasy he felt. He turned the corner near the Room of Requirement when he felt something hit him. Tonks had walked straight into him. He grabbed her waist before she fell onto the ground.
"I am so sorry. I heard footsteps and thought it might have been a student out of bed." Tonks apologized while they were in an awkward embrace. Snape immediately pulled away from her like she was some kind of disease. "Do I disgust you that much?"
Snape didn't know how to respond. He thought it best to keep his mouth shut. Trying to change the topic he asked, "Anything to report?"
"Not a thing. It's a bummer really. Did you get any action tonight?" Tonks questioned him jokingly.
"I beg your pardon?" Snape sneered. He was confused by her wording.
Tonks didn't realize how inappropriate her question sounded until now. Her face reddening she apologized, "Oh my goodness, I didn't mean it like that…. what I meant to say was…Were there any students out of bed?" Tonks looked down at the ground not knowing how he was going to respond.
"Well… two Hufflepuff's managed to… how did you say it? Get some action." There was a confused look on her face. "I found them in a broom cupboard." Snape clarified. A smirk appeared on his face.
Tonks giggled, she couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Sour Grape Snape was actually smiling and even made her laugh. "Wow you do have a sense of humor. I would've never guessed it…with that dark exterior of yours." She teased. Her scalp tingled for a second and Snape's eyes move to her hair.
He noticed that her hair changed to a light shade of purple. "You seem to be feeling better, Nyphadora."
"It's weird; I actually had a pretty dull day." She looked slightly embarrassed.
"I see. Well I must be going. I'm pleased you're feeling better. " Snape stated, he tried to leave the awkward situation as fast as possible.
"I realized I never truly thanked you… you know," Tonks confessed. Snape turned around and their eyes met with mutual understanding. "…for my behavior at the Three Broomsticks and for last night. I have… kind of lost myself through all of this… and… it was nice to have someone be there for me. Not to feel alone for once. Thank you for everything." Snape gave her a nod and was about to leave when she added, "I also want to apologize."
A look of confusion crossed Snape's face as he asked, "Apologize for what?"
"For not giving you enough credit all these years. You are actually a great person. I am sorry for misjudging you."
With a look of disbelief, Snape was flabbergasted. He decided he needed to give her advice. "A word of advice, if I may."
Tonks nodded with agreement.
"You haven't lost yourself, pain is changing you…And if you don't mind me saying, I agree with Lupin." Tonks couldn't believe he could agree with Remus. She was about to give him a piece of her mind when he added, "You do deserve much better than him." A smirk appeared on her lips.
"Goodnight Nymphadora. I'll see you tomorrow." He was about to turn around but decided to add, "Oh and lavender has always been my personal favorite on you." He turned and proceeded down the hall as his cloak bellowed behind him dramatically.
Tonks stood there dumbfounded. On her way to the passageway she saw her reflection in a window. She did a double-take when it dawned on her what Snape meant. Her hair was no longer mousy brown, it was lavender. How come Snape was the one to help her find her way back to herself? What is it about him that makes her feel nervous? All night long Tonks could not stop thinking about Snape. There was just something about him she couldn't shake off.
Snape also couldn't sleep. He just laid there staring at the celling. He couldn't get Tonks out of his mind. In his deep thoughts he grasped why she made him nervous. He knew that he was beginning to actually enjoy her presence.
That night they were both grateful for each other. It was pleasant to not think of the people who caused them pain.
