A/N- This is when things are starting to get juicy! Thank you to all are reading my story. I love feedback and I would love to know your thoughts about the story so far. "Curiosity is not a sin... But we should exercise caution with our curiosity...yes, indeed."-J.k. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Chapter 8- Curiosity Is Not A Sin
Two months had gone by and Tonks was still having trouble coping with Remus leaving her. She had spoken with Molly at every Order meeting since. Molly would either say, "Give Remus some time, he'll come around." Or, "In time it will get better, you'll see." Tonks knew that Molly was experienced and thought of her as another mother, but something about her advice seemed too hopeful. Remus was only at one Order meeting during the last two months. Tonks didn't say a word to him just like he requested. He looked weary and tattered; this mission was taken a toll on his condition that much was obvious. She yearned to embrace and take care of him, but she knew that was just a fantasy. For in reality, Remus didn't want Tonks a part of his melancholy life.
As of lately, her patrolling at night became even more boring than usual. Since the one night she thought Snape and her became closer must have actually pushed him away. He rarely checked-in with her at all currently. When Snape would check in with her, he would be very short and distant. Filch would check-in with her instead. Tonks preferred Snape over awkward Filch any day. Tonks often wondered if she said or did anything that would have upset him. She didn't know, but at tonight's duty she decided she would be the one who went to him instead of the other way around. She had to find out what his deal was. She was starting to enjoy their late night conversations. It made her feel as though it was natural to behave this way. Also he helped her get her mind off of Remus for a change.
There was a Hogwarts faculty meeting directly after dinner. Snape and all the other Hogwarts professors met in the Transfiguration classroom. Snape actually enjoyed staff meetings as it was a time to chatter about students and share humorous stories.
"Severus, I saved you a seat." McGonagall shouted from across the classroom. She motioned for him to join her. Out of all the professors, Snape respected McGonagall the most. Snape walked over to her and took a seat beside her. "You look absolutely exhausted, have you had any sleep?"
"Not much. I get summoned at the strangest of times lately." Snape grabbed his forearm where the mark was hidden beneath his sleeve.
McGonagall gave him a look of sympathy. She put her hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "Would you like for me to cover your patrolling tonight? Speaking of patrolling…" McGonagall looked at her watch and continued, "What time do you need to meet Tonks to let her in?"
"I wouldn't know seeing as I have never assisted her into the grounds. What time do you usually let her in?" Snape questioned.
"I also have never helped her. I always assumed you were the one." McGonagall replied confused.
Snape stood up to ask the other professors, "Which one of you has been helping Nymphadora into the school grounds?" The professors gave him muddled looks. "Surely someone has been letting her in." No one said a word. He sat back down and said to McGonagall, "I guess I'll have to ask her tonight."
"Are you sure you don't want me to cover your duty?" McGonagall offered. Snape noticed the concern on her face.
Snape was grateful to have a colleague like Minerva, but he didn't want to abandon his duty. "I'm positive, but thank you for offering." Snape did not want to seem lazy or weak. When he takes responsibility for something he always gives it his all.
"If you ever need assistance or help with anything, I would be honored to assist you." McGonagall added. She gave him a sympathetic grin and patted his shoulder to comfort him. Snape never liked to be touched, but something about her gave him motherly ease. They had developed a strong bond over his teaching years. He could honestly say that she was probably his closest true friend.
Dumbledore arrived and the meeting began.
The halls were silent and Tonks could barely stay awake. Keeping a close eye on the clock, she wanted to make sure she didn't miss Snape patrolling the halls. The last two months had been difficult for Tonks. Every night she would sleep in Remus' gray cardigan and relish in his scent. She missed those few nights when Snape distracted her thoughts. There was something about the way he challenged her feelings that made her want more. Tonks wanted a distraction and he seemed to fit the part. She worried that Snape noticed the connection as well and that was the reason for his distance the past two months. It was driving Tonks mental. She desperately wanted to get to the bottom of it.
This time she wanted to be the one to check-in with him. When the time finally arrived Tonks headed straight for the dungeons. Before she made it to the end of the seventh floor corridor Snape appeared. He looked exhausted.
"How did your night go?" asked Tonks. He looked as though he had a rough night.
"Uneventful, and yours?" Snape replied. He could barely keep his eyes awake.
"Same." Tonks knew she couldn't hold her tongue much longer and asked, "Have you been avoiding me?"
Snape made a sour face and inquired, "What would make you assume that notion?"
"Well…" Tonks was at a loss of words. She decided to just open up to him. "I thought we were getting along and then I haven't seen or heard much from you in two months. I was just wondering if I did something."
"I have more imperative matters to attend to other than patrol duty, Nymphadora. I thought you of all people would understand the toll one suffers through living a double life." Snape barked. Sometimes he couldn't help but be snarky, but he was going through mental and physical turmoil. He noticed the red fill her cheeks when he felt he was being harsh. "Forgive me; I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment."
"I understand." Tonks never thought about what Snape must be going through. Last year it was difficult for Tonks to be a member of the Order and an Auror. She had to lie to her job every day because she knew where Sirius was hiding. It was exhausting. She couldn't imagine being around You Know Who during these troubling times. "If you ever wish to talk to someone about it, I'm all ears. After all I do owe you one for helping me."
Snape didn't notice Tonks appearance until now. Her hair was back to its mousy brown and she looked unhealthy thin. "How are you holding up? That is… if you don't mind me asking."
"I've been better." Tonks gave a fake grin. There was no hiding her grief; she was a walking shame every day. Tonks had never shown her true form to anyone and now that her powers were inexistent everyone could tell she was hurting.
"Haven't we all." Snape replied.
"At least you can mask your feelings; mine are exposed for the world to see." Tonks stated.
Snape understood exactly what she meant. He chose to hide his agony through malice and pride, but there was no way of hiding Tonks' pain. Especially when everyone was used to seeing her cheerful with bright colored hair. Trying to change the subject he decided to ask, "Who's been aiding you into the castle at night?"
"Well in all honesty, answering your question will go against everything I stand by." Tonks joked. She couldn't help but smile.
Snape gave her an apprehensive expression, "Meaning?"
"You're the last person I would ever disclose my mischievous secrets to." She enjoyed torturing Snape.
"Oh come off it, Nymphadora. You are not a child anymore. Stop playing those foolish games with me. Now tell me how you are getting into the castle." Snape questioned directly. His strong unique voice was freighting and yet, mesmerizing.
"Ugh…if you must know, I use a secret passage way." Tonks confessed.
Overcome with satisfaction, Snape craved to know the whereabouts of the last known passageway to Hogsmeade. He would seal it up just as he did the others. "As a professor and Hogwarts protector I demand you tell me its location at once."
"No can do." Tonks replied relaxed.
Snape asked with annoyance, "Oh really and why is that?"
"Because Snape, you are a rule breakers nightmare. I would be betraying not only myself, but other trouble makers as well. I refuse." Tonks crossed her arms and stood with smugness.
This infuriated Snape, he knew she would never give up the information willingly. He decided to use Legilimency; he conjured the incantation in his mind. Legilimens.
Tonks felt a tingling inside her brain as confusion suddenly took over her mind. This wasn't the first time Tonks had felt that feeling before. After all, Moody was her mentor and of course he taught her Occulumency. When she immediately realized what Snape was doing. She used Occulumency to push him out of her mind. But before she pushed him out, Snape saw a short memory. Tonks was wearing what Snape believed to be Remus' cardigan. Her face was buried into it, sobbing.
"You slick git! How dare you try to read my mind!" Anger filled Tonks. Astonished beyond belief that Snape would try to invade her thoughts.
"I'm sorry, but it is crucial that you inform me the passageway's whereabouts."
Tonks gave him a suspicious look. "Why is it so important?"
Snape didn't just want to make the students, such as, Potter, suffer. He knew that the Death Eaters will be looking for any possible way to infiltrate the school. "As we speak, Death Eaters are searching for every possible way to raid Hogwarts. If a Slytherin student were to find out about the passageway, all they would have to do is notify their parents."
Tonks gave him a look of suspicion "I see your point, but that doesn't make it alright for you to use Legilimency on me." Tonks added. She cared about the students at the school and the last thing she would want is Death Eaters to harm anyone on her watch.
This was the first time where Snape was caught red handed using Legilimency. He was humiliated. Overcome with shame, Snape decided he needed to apologize to her. "You're right and I'm sorry. I honestly do not know what came over me. There is no excuse for my actions."
Tonks couldn't believe what she was witnessing. Severus Snape was actually apologizing to her. "I forgive you, but this makes us even."
Snape nodded in agreement.
She had an epiphany. This was her chance to finally get to know the true Severus Snape. "I'll tell you what, Snape. I'll give you the passageway's location for something in return."
"Really and what might that be?" Snape looked unconvinced.
Tonks had a mischievous look on her face and enlightened, "You must answer ten personal questions about yourself."
Snape was astounded. "I will do no such thing. Unlike yours, my life is private."
Tonks gave it a shot. She said casually, "It was just a suggestion. Goodnight Professor."
Tonks turned to walk away. He obviously wanted the location desperately. Why else would he try to read a trained Auror's mind? While walking down the hall, Tonks could feel the burning stare from Snape. Tonks was always good at mind games with men and usually got her way.
Snape was torn. He desperately craved the location, but he wanted his personal life to remain private. The last person he shared his feelings and desires with was Lily. As he watched Tonks descend down the hallway, he could hear Dumbledore's voice replay in his head. "Let someone besides me, see the good in you."
Snape took a deep breath. "Five." Snape demanded loudly.
Tonks turned around, haughtiness written on her face. "Twelve, seeing as you just tried to read my mind." Tonks shouted.
Snape rolled his eyes and agreed, "Fine, ten it is. I must inform you that I have to keep some business private, seeing as you're an Auror and I am…. well… a Death Eater."
Tonks nodded. She wanted to know about his personal interest not his work involvement. She wanted to get to know the real Snape, the one no one knows about. "I completely understand. Besides, I have no desire to meddle in your work life." She giggled. Tonks could tell Snape was full of unease.
"When will this… meeting take place?" Snape questioned. He tried to make it seem as professional as possible, but was filled with dread.
"Since tomorrow is Saturday, how about after patrolling?" Tonks asked calmly, she tried to hide her excitement.
"That will suffice. Meet me in my chambers after duty." Snape informed. He couldn't help but think how unprofessional this was feeling.
"I'll bring the Firewhisky." Tonks added eagerly.
Running his hand through his hair, he looked worried. He responded uncomfortably, "Until then, I bid you goodnight, Nymphadora."
Snape and Tonks had conflicting feelings about tomorrow night. Tonks was looking forward to solving the mystery of Snape, as well as getting her mind off Remus. Whereas, Snape was tense and dreading the get-together. Neither of them had a clue what tomorrow night had in store for them.
