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Chapter 11- Never Again

During the meeting, Remus, Tonks, and Severus were not remotely paying attention. Tonks and Snape kept making eye contact throughout the entire meeting. What Tonks failed to witness was that Lupin looked as though he was getting extremely jealous. Lupin remembered how they used to exchange smiles and flirt during the Order meetings before Sirius' death, but now she found a new partner to do this with. The thought that it was Snape of all people was nauseating. Remus had an irk feeling from the look behind Severus' stares. He couldn't help but question, does Dora fancy Severus? Stunned at the very thought, Lupin thought to himself, I've got to stop whatever is going on between them. He wanted Tonks to move on. Sure it was going to hurt to see her with someone else, but Remus figured she would pick someone better than him, not shoddier in every sense of the word.

Lupin didn't want to muddle with her emotions, but whatever he was witnessing had to stop. A protective instinct came over Remus, and he moved his hand from his knee to hers under the table. Tonks was of course startled by his touch. To make her feel more comfortable, he turned his head and smiled at her.

Tonks was taken back by his caress and felt the need to slap him. She didn't know what he was trying to do, but she was in no place to play his games. Instead she decided to grab his hand softly as if she were going to hold it, and returned it to his own knee. When she released his hand, she patted it twice giving off the "nice try" message. Severus could sense the hostility between the two of them, not having a clue as to what was going on.

"Constant vigilance!" Moody quoted finishing up his long paranoid speech.

Dumbledore than stood up and stated, "Yes, thank you Alastor. We will know more about marked Ministry officials after tomorrow night's Death Eater meeting." Snape nodded with agreement.

"Before we dismiss, Molly has something to say." Dumbledore added.

"The Order's Christmas gathering will be held on Christmas Eve at Grimmauld Place."

"Molly, you do realize how dangerous having it there might be?" Alastor said.

"With all due respect Alastor, I do. I feel we owe it to Sirius to have Christmas there this year." Tonks agreed with Molly. Sirius would be desperately missed this Christmas. Even the thought of Sirius, caused Tonks to feel an emotional tightness swell in her throat.

Moody couldn't help but blurt, "Now is not the time to…"

Snape cut Moody off and said, "Actually the Death Eaters are completely oblivious about Grimmauld Place. I'm sure one night won't hurt." Molly smiled at Snape as Moody rolled his eyes.

"Christmas Eve at Number 12 it is. Meeting adjourned." Dumbledore addressed.

When the meeting ended, Tonks had to get out of there and fast. First, the pass Remus made on her, and then the thought of Christmas without Sirius; Tonks just couldn't take anymore. She felt that if she talked to Remus, all her progress would be lost. As she left Dumbledore's office and down the stairs, she hoped Remus wasn't following her. Snape on the other hand was too busy talking with Minerva to notice Tonks' departure; however, he did happen to notice Remus looking around for someone. Remus left the office in a hurry and Snape excused himself politely, I'm sorry Minerva, but I still have duty tonight. We will finish this tomorrow." Just like that, Snape left the office and trailing Remus.

Tonks walked as fast as possible down the corridor, and then she heard Remus calling her name as she turned down the corridor. "Dora! Dora, wait up!" She hoped he didn't see her, but she decided to hide behind one of the doors in the hallway before he could catch up to her. As his footsteps and voice ascended louder with every second, her heart beat climbed rapidly. She yearned to open the door and face her fears, but she just couldn't go through the heartbreak again. Why was it when she was finally coping with losing him, seeing him started the downward spiral all over again? She knew the answer; however, she just didn't want to admit it to herself. It was because she still was in love with him. When the footsteps came to a standstill, confusion, anxiety, and restriction overwhelmed her all at once. She turned her back to the door as tightness in her chest had spread to her throat, constricting her from breathing. Tonks felt as though she was suffocating. The painful part was the fact that he could be trying to apologize and admit he had mistaken, but something kept her planted there against the door. She just couldn't open the door and go through it again. She thought to herself, "was she making a mistake?" A frustrated sigh escaped through the door, and Tonks was about to turn the knob and confront her fear when the decision to open the door had been made for her. Hearing a deep familiar voice through the door stopped her.

The familiar voice spoke, "Lupin." When she realized who was talking, she decided it was best not to intrude on this particular conversation. After all, Snape and Remus did not get along, so Tonks decided to eavesdrop.

"Oh… Severus. What gives me the pleasure of your presences this evening?" Lupin greeted him with a hint of sarcasm. Remus looked irritated and defeated.

Snape gave him a…who do you think you're talking to look, and commented snidely, "I know you're such a busy person, so I won't hold you too long. I was just wondering about the packages I've been sending you. Have you been receiving them because you do look rather… tattered?" Snape judged Remus as he observed his appearance.

"As a matter of fact, I have. I am surprised that you care about my wellbeing; However, I am thankful you decided to resume brewing it for me, but I'm sure THAT was on Dumbledore's orders." Remus assumed Snape had no choice in the matter, how could he? Snape didn't care about Remus and Lupin knew that for a fact.

Snape corrected him spitefully. "Actually, now that you mentioned it, it wasn't on Dumbledore's orders. Instead I noticed how your survival affects a particular person and thought I would lend a helping hand."

"How heroic of you. I'm glad she has someone looking after her."

"Well that's what happens when you get involved with someone with a condition like yours, how selfish of you to put a burden like that on someone almost half your age." Snape replied defensively.

Remus couldn't just let Snape make him out to be a fool and replied, "I understand your concern, but I ended it before it went any further, and frankly it is none of your business."

"You're right…. It isn't any of my business; however it doesn't fix what you've done. Yes you ended it, but you did it after the girl fell in love with you. Do you not see what your error in judgment has done?"

"I do! Every day I feel the guilt. The last thing I need is a lecture on shit I already know, and especially from you of all people." Remus shouted.

Snape kept his voice low and calm. "Well no one else has the audacity to tell you to your face. Everyone believes you to be kind and innocent, but in reality… you're abysmal."

"What gives, Severus? What is in this for you?" Snape doesn't respond because he never truly realized why he even cared in the first place. Remus caught on that Snape wasn't going to answer him and Remus made his own assumption. "Oh let me guess, payback for when we were kids? Or is this simply because you fancy Dora?"

"That… is… absurd." Snape stated as he emphasized each word.

A slight smirk appeared on Remus face. "Oh come off it Severus. I saw the way you were gandering at her during the meeting. Don't deny it." Snape didn't know how to respond. He knew there was no way he fancied Tonks. Since when was getting to know someone considered fancying them? "Just like you did at Lily those many years ago." As soon as Remus said her name he knew he went too far. Snape's face was a stone. The deep loathing amercing from his stare was forceful.

Snape stepped closer to Remus and was right in his face. The fury evident in his swagger and tone was enough to make Remus back away into the door behind him. "You impious git! How… dare… you…! How dare you turn this into some hidden objective of my construction? And I thought you couldn't sink any lower." Remus knew he was out of hand to bring up Lily, yet he held his ground. He kept an unemotional expression as Snape backed away. "Get out of this castle before I remove you myself." Remus turned around and began to walk away. Snape added seriously, "One more thing, Remus." Remus stopped walking away and turned around. Snape added threatening, "The next time you bring up Lily… I will kill you. " Remus rolled his eyes in disbelief, but there was no skepticism in Snape's tone. Plus he has killed before no doubt, Remus thought.

Tonks was frozen solid. The conversation that she just witnessed was implausible. Remus jealous of Snape, Snape taking up for her, and Remus suggesting Snape fancied her was just absurd. Remus was out of line to bring up the past even though Snape didn't help the situation. It was odd that Snape involved himself in her drama, but then again, Snape knew just how much Remus had hurt her. She wanted to thank him for having her back, but she also didn't want him to know she heard everything. After all, Snape getting involved in her drama did save her from going down the slippery slope all over again.