A Ring Of Ki's
Not Quite a Ninja
Ukyo Kuonji wiped down her grill with a satisfied sigh. It had been a good day and she was looking forward to its end. She only had a few customers left. Between school, the fights, lunch rush, the kidnappings, dinner rush, the martial arts challenges... Ukyo rolled her eyes. Amazing what Ranchan could get involved in in a single day. She was just glad she wasn't directly involved. She'd never get anything done. She'd have to put her foot down once they were married. That Akane was a bad influence on him. After all, most of that nonsense revolved around her!
Yeah, Ranchan would get himself all worked up and Akane never appreciated it. The only upside was that he'd come in for an okonomiyaki to recharge.
In fact, he'd just left, heading back to the Tendo's for more abuse.
"Sometimes I wish I were a ninja like you, Konatsu," Ukyo growled, considering several things a ninja might do to her rival.
Konatsu blinked and shrugged politely as he cleared the nearest table.
Sayuri and Yuka glanced up inquiringly. They were more Akane's friends than Ukyo's. If they had heard her thoughts, they might have protested that observing Ranma and Akane around any of Akane's rivals, also considering they tended to latch onto him like starving leeches, was hardly conducive to seeing the Tendo girl at her best. But they had heard not a complaint about Akane but a statement concerning Ukyo's nature. Being curious (and nosey) they took it as an opportunity.
"Hey, Ukyo!" Yuka said in a light, non-threatening tone. "You mean you're not? A ninja, I mean."
"We knew you weren't samurai," Sayuri added. "A Kuno you're not. But if you're not ninja, either…"
"So what are you?" Yuka finished brightly.
Ukyo gave them a knowing amused look. "Well… I'm a martial artist."
"Well, duh…" Sayuri giggled. "But, I mean… You don't do Karate, or Kempo, or…"
Ukyo waved her silent with a grin. "I don't fit well into some box, Sayuri. Can't I just be Ukyo Kuonji?"
"Awww…" Yuka pouted. "When you came here everyone was talking about the cute guy and that Ranma had competition for looks."
"Then you turned out to be a girl," Sayuri continued. She blushed faintly, leading Ukyo to believe that maybe there had been a crush involved.
Ukyo shook her head in silent laughter. Then she sighed and gave them a peculiar look that made them hopeful. "What are you really asking?" She added a hint of glare that promised retribution if they got too personal.
They exchanged glances. Nervously, Yuka inquired, "So… If you're not ninja – has your family ever been ninja?" she finished brightly.
Ukyo's look changed subtly. Still amused, but different. "Maybe… But if I tell ya… I might have to kill ya!"
The two girls froze and gazed at her like two birds at a snake. Nervously they tittered and finishing their treats, hurried out.
"Now that was a trifle unkind," chided Konatsu, cleaning up their table.
Ukyo shrugged. "I'm tired, cranky, ready to close up and I don't feel like telling such a long story about my family origins to two girls who are merely acquaintances, thereby staying up to all hours and not getting any sleep before school tomorrow."
She straightened up, put her hands in the small of her back and leaned back crackingly. She twisted side to side and groaned enthusiastically. That had gotten the kink out. Now to finish up and head for bed… She frowned at her 'waitress' who gazed at her with puppy dog eyes. Her eyebrows went up questioningly. In his kimono, Konatsu was simply too good at the 'girl' thing. Certainly better she felt, than she could do it. It was disturbing.
"I like stories," Konatsu mentioned offhandedly, while giving her his best sincere 'I'm such a sweet and innocent person who works for you uncomplainingly for a pittance and maybe, a little bit, am… your… friend?'
Ukyo shivered and closed her eyes for a moment – the image of kawaii Konatsu burned in her retinas, possibly permanently. She held up a hand. "All right. I'll tell you a short version – if you get the place cleaned up in a reasonable amount of time."
"Really?" Konatsu turned up the charm unconsciously. Birds sang, wind chimes chimed a melody, flowers and cute little forrest animals seemed to dance in the background.
"YES! Yes…! Gah…" Ukyo shut her eyes tightly in self defense and turned away. She hoped she wasn't scarred for life, or suddenly diabetic.
Joyfully, Konatsu leaped in the air and clapped his hands. "Kunouichi Cleanup Countdown! Five, four…" A formless wind sprang up as if dozens of tiny cyclones were whirling about the inside of the shop.
Ukyo's eyes snapped open in alarm. "No! Wait!"
"Three, two…" There was an alarming clatter from the kitchen. Now that her eyes were open, it seemed as if her pots and pans were spinning around above her sink, water and soap rising in hard little riverlets. Her head whipped around as chairs rose spinning into the air and her sign swirled in to roll itself up and set itself in a corner.
"One!" Konatsu finished, joyously, snapping his arms outward from a half-kneeling position, from the inge' he was performing. Panting, he held his pose as chairs settled themselves on tables and the pans settled themselves on their assigned hooks. The formless wind, riffled Ukyo's ponytail and Konatsu's kimono before vanishing as it had come – without a trace.
"Jeez! What was that?" Ukyo demanded as Konatsu rose unconcernedly and straightened his hair.
Konatsu smiled tightly. "Just a useful variation of a special technique."
"Useful, he says!" Ukyo looked around at the sparkling clean restaurant. "Cleanup Countdown? What's the original called?"
"Kunoichi Cuisenaire!" Konatsu replied delightedly. "In the original you add shuriken and other sharp objects…"
Ukyo looked a bit green. "That's alright Konatsu – it's you're secret technique, after all…"
"But…"
"No! Really! Hahahaha!" Ukyo patted him on the shoulder. "Anyway, you don't wanna miss your story, do you?" Konatsu obediently shut up and seated herself at Ukyo's feet looking attentive. She looked thoughtful for a moment. After gathering her thoughts she began. "I guess you would say, 'Natsu, that the Kuonji are not quite ninja…"
She composed herself. "My family or rather my many times great grandmother, was the only surviving member of a village destroyed in the Onin Wars. Our village was like many other villages. They farmed their fields, the local craftsman were good if not exceptional. Only in one way, one they kept secret, were they truly special. They were warriors who specialized in hunting and killing demons."
"Demons?" Konatsu was enthralled. Ukyo was a demon hunter!
"History doesn't teach it, because these days, the idea of demons isn't 'enlightened'. Demons don't really exist, according to the Board of Education."
"What an enlightened way to eradicate demons – simply declare they don't exist!" Konatsu grinned.
Ukyo choked for a moment and together, they giggled at the thought.
"Anyway… Like I said, the village was destroyed –and by a particularly nasty demon. Destroying the village had only been a ploy, however. It had been made to look like the demon's most dangerous enemy had been involved to trick my ancestress into attacking his most dangerous rival – a half demon.
"Wouldn't she have attacked his rival all by herself, in any case?" interrupted the kunoichi.
"Maybe," conceded Ukyo, "but maybe not at first and besides, the village was a danger to him anyway. And this guy liked playing the puppet master."
"Sounds pleasant."
"Heh! You said it." Ukyo sighed. "To make a long story short, multi-great granny joined forces with the half-demon and several other heroes. You wouldn't recognize their names, history has given them others, but they played a significant role in ending the Onin Wars."
"They fought in Sekigahara?" Konatsu looked on wonderingly.
"The battle they fought made Sekigahara mean anything," Ukyo replied. "It would have merely been a bloodbath, without what they did."
"What exactly did they do?"
Ukyo smirked. "They managed to suppress the powers of every demon in Japan."
"My… That was rather excessive. Was it really necessary?"
"Oh yeah... Most of the major players in the Onin Wars were demons or of demon blood. They had special powers and used humans merely as fodder or as servants to their ambitions. With their powers banished or suppressed, they became no better than very strong humans." She clenched her fist. "And the demon they fought had depended on stealing the powers of multiple demons for his own power. Without that power to draw on, he became vulnerable to the heroes. As did every pawn he had fighting in Sekigahara."
"Oh!" Konatsu reached enlightenment. "They were victorious, then?"
Ukyo chuckled and looked at the ceiling. "Sort of. The people they wanted to win, won, and the common people only had to worry about bad humans instead of bad demons. But the side that won was only human and they soon betrayed their ideals." She tapped Konatsu's chest. "My ancestress was faced with a choice then. She could have started a ninja clan and gotten involved in the elaborate political infighting and assassination that marked the Tokugowa Era. She chose instead, to fade into the background and use her warrior's skills to develop a unique form of martial arts that would feed and protect her and her family."
"Oh! Okonomiyaki Martial Arts! And the other heroes?" Konatsu clasped his hands together in eager expectation. "They lived happily ever after? Or at least ended their lives in gory and correct honor?"
Ukyo threw back her head in laughter. God! Konatsu was strange! "They turned out okay. The half demon married the miko, His brother married the dead girl and my ancestress… well she took up with a perverted jackass and raised a whole bunch of happy little okonomiyaki chefs."
"How romantic… Wait…" Konatsu looked askance. "A perverted… Why did she do that?"
Ukyo snorted. "Why do I chase Ranma? She loved him."
She saw Konatsu's stricken look, quickly hidden. "Sorry, 'Natsu-chan."
Konatsu put on the best face he could under the circumstances. "Ah, well… So that's why you are not quite a ninja?"
"Yep. We could have been, but weren't interested. We simply became one of those families with a hidden style to protect us when some jackass samurai decided he was god." She let her hand clasp his shoulder affectionately. "She wasn't like you, born to what you are."
Konatsu leaned a little into her hand wishing it meant more than friendship. "And what was your ancestress' name, Ukyo-sama?"
"Sango," Ukyo replied, turning to head upstairs to her bed. "Just Sango."
RANMA ½ and InuYasha are the creations of Takehashi Rumiko – all rights belong to her and her authorized distributors, Shonen Sunday Comics, Shogakukan, Kitty TV and Viz Communications.
